Facebook Predator

facebookWhat causes the narcissist to use Facebook so much? Firstly, it is the online success story of recent times. Originating in 2004 it has seen off its rivals, such as Bebo and Myspace and has dominated the market. Over a billion people have Facebook profiles. That is a lot of potential targets for us. Secondly, it provides us with an extensive net to cast through whichever device we happen to have to hand. It is accessible and effective. Thirdly, the presentation of information on Facebook in particular tells our kind plenty of things which allow us to ascertain whether there is a viable target in our sights.

I am not referring to this in terms of the class traits that we look for, for instance, a somatic narcissist would seek out those who post plenty of pictures of how physically attractive they are, their ongoing diet and exercise regime, which would of course appeal to the somatic. Instead, I am going to highlight for you a number of instances on Facebook which tell our kind that this is a person who has a higher susceptibility to being seduced. Thus, if we then determine thereafter that this person has the relevant empathic, class and hopefully special traits then we know that a play should be made to ensnare them.

Accordingly, what is it that you might post on Facebook that signal to my kind that you are susceptible to being seduced and drawn into our false reality?

  1. You include a detailed list of your favourite books, television programmes and films

I do not mean three or four of your favourites but fifteen or more in one or more of the above categories. This signals to us that you have not only time to watch and detail these books and movies, but you are content for people to know that you do. This tells us that you are lonely and therefore apt for some attention.

  1. You detail your relationship status

It does not matter what the status reads incidentally because even if you stated that you are married, engaged or in a relationship, we do not recognise any such boundary as being a hindrance to our advances. Indeed, we take the view that you are probably short of attention in that relationship. By declaring what your relationship status is, you are wanting to initiate contact and you are providing us with material to do so. If you do not feel the need to tell anybody your relationship status, that signals to us that you have sufficient self-esteem not to need to herald it and therefore you are probably harder to ensnare.

  1. Ask me, ask me ask me

You know those statuses which read

‘So angry right now’, ‘I am fuming’ or ‘Totally heartbroken’

Such statuses are just a fishing hook for nosey and supposedly supportive friends, who are actually far more interested in showing concern and mock horror through some bad acting, to then as the writer what is ‘up’, what has happened and what is going on? The mysterious injunction will then be issued for the apparently caring friend to ‘inbox me’ or ‘I will inbox you’ as yet another noun suddenly finds that it has become a verb.

These attention seekers are also avoided by our kind. They are unlikely to be of our brethren but they are certainly self-centred and not going to provide us with what we need. Thus they go down as an avoid.

  1. I miss you

Anybody who posts about missing a relative or partner who has passed away, either directly by stating ‘I miss you Dad, you were my best friend’ or posts memes appertaining to people watching down from above. This lingering grief acts a beacon to us and tells us this person is susceptible to being ensnared far more readily because of their ongoing emotional state and their propensity to become emotional if the matter of the deceased individual is raised.

  1. Frequent comment about events

You are interested in the world and other people. You are not there to keep showing us what you had to eat for dinner or your latest car. You give attention and do not get much in return. This tells us that you will be highly amenable to receiving our attention.

  1. More pictures of animals than people

This is not so much about you being an animal-lover, which of course tells us that you have empathic traits, but is more about the fact that once again you are a giver of attention to this lower life form and you tend to get your attention back from the animal rather than people. It might be that you would rather keep the company of animals than people, although this is rarer than someone who likes animals and for once would enjoy the attention of another person, namely us.

  1. Frequent comments about your achievements and what you have been doing

You may not be one of us but you are certainly exhibiting narcissistic traits and therefore caution will be exercised before we proceed. These may be healthy narcissistic traits and we unearth additional information about you which encourages out targeting of you, but seeing this turns on an amber light.

  1. Sharing charity appeals

Yet another indicator that you are more about giving time and attention to others as opposed to receiving it. A most encouraging item to see on someone’s wall.

  1. Pictures of family and friends. Few selfies.

It may be the case that everything in your photo album is animal-based and see the point above. If there are pictures of people as well, we like to ascertain who these people are. If they are family and friends, rather than random people from nights out, this again provides us with a positive indicator. If your photo album is you and nothing else then another amber light will come on.

  1. You profile picture is a scene, an object but not you

This suggests again that your self-esteem is not what it might be, that you are not keen to be the centre of attention and as a consequence this acts as a beacon to our kind. It may also of course mean that you are unfortunately-faced, although is not always a concern if it is Cerebral or Victim Narcissist scouring your profile.

  1. Children are the future

A few proud parent pictures actually prove encouraging. The existence of children provides additional fuel sources and evidence that you are a caring and giving person, something which we like to see. If, however your timeline and photo album are plastered with your offspring then this puts us off. You might think that someone who is busy with a child or children would be in need of attention. They are not. They get plenty from their children and more to the point this tells us that your own attention will be on someone else and not us, therefore our efforts are more than likely to be wasted.

  1. You don’t get many likes or comments

Whatever you happen to post may be interesting, amusing and thoughtful but you rarely get many comments or likes as we scroll through your timeline. There is an attention deficit waiting to be filled.

  1. Posts about your romantic partner

If you are always talking about your romantic partner, how much you love them, how much you miss them and such like, you are going overboard and this to us is a further indicator of low self-esteem which we can readily exploit. This gets even better if we see no evidence of reciprocation. We can ready the Love Bombers.

  1. Poetry

If you post poetry, whether your own or somebody else’s, this tell us that you are lonely and therefore you will be most susceptible to our attention.

  1. Membership of support groups

Naturally this will tell us that you are likely to be empathic and/or have special traits which is most encouraging, but at this early stage we regard the evidence of this on your Facebook wall that you are again providing attention to others which means there is likely to be a deficit which we can exploit with regards to you.

The more of these indicators we see, naturally the more encouraging it is which tells us that you will be susceptible to an approach by us and our charm. Other indicators cause us to exercise caution and may well result in us moving onto a different target if these warning signs are not heavily offset by positive indicators. The friend request and/or message will be readied in anticipation of making a move.

109 thoughts on “Facebook Predator

  1. Supernova DE says:

    HG,
    If MMRN has strict policy not to allow followers on IG, but then after I escape he allows exactly ONE follower…is this meant as passive hoover (for me to wonder who he is giving that privilege to?)
    Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes.

  2. SMH says:

    Another fake friend request. This one says the guy is from ‘Canada, Kansas.’ (MRN is Canadian.) I can’t believe it is him unless he is purchasing fake accounts. It’s way too much effort to make so many yourself.

    1. windstorm says:

      SMH
      Well, at least the loser used the name of an actual US city named Canada. Probably googled to find it.

      1. SMH says:

        Ha, Windstorm, yes. He had to exert himself.

    2. SMH says:

      Mr Canada, Kansas has now managed to friend one of my friends. Hmmm. I wonder if he thinks we will interact on her posts? I’m not going to block him yet. Will wait to see what happens.

      1. SMH says:

        Mr Canada, Kansas has now disappeared, just like Mr Riddle. I am beginning to see a pattern. He tries to friend me and when I do not respond after a week or so, he tries again with a different profile. I wonder if the clues will get more obvious.

        1. Supernova DE says:

          I should feel relief when I read these threads, because the MMRN has been quiet for the last two months since NC. I had a few fake requests and hang ups to my home phone in the first three weeks, nothing since.
          BUT
          It just makes me feel like a loser, I wasn’t even important enough to hoover after disappearing. My fuel wasn’t worth anything.

          I’m just praying that time goes go and I’ll stop caring the farther out I get.
          For now, I will not unblock, I will not attempt to bring on a hoover.

          1. SMH says:

            Supernova DE,

            Don’t feel badly about it. In the past, all it did was re-ensnare me. It wasn’t even an ego boost because it became so obvious that it was all about his needs and not about my needs or our needs. Only he mattered (to him). I was not allowed to exist as a separate person.

            The first few months are hard but it gets easier. I am at almost the one year anniversary of my final escape, though not of our final direct contact, and in month 9 (I think) of NC. I don’t think about him much anymore, though I do fear that he will hoover me directly and I won’t be able to resist responding. Still, I don’t think I would be susceptible to any sort of seduction.

            In any case, the decision to go NC came from you and for the right reasons. You should own it and be proud of it. Soon it won’t matter what he does or doesn’t do because he will all but cease to exist for you!! Take one day at a time.

          2. Supernova DE says:

            SMH,
            I appreciate your kind response. I have had a tough few days (though I admit what I call a “tough” day now is nothing compared to what it used to be in the past – NC does work).

            I agree with you that it becomes obvious it is about their needs. I think I knew that even before I knew about NPD and HG. I can see now, looking back, that he would hoover me when he needed the ego boost/fuel for himself…then sometimes he would want to put me right back on the shelf…selfish and predictable, of course.

            I am just very confused as to how my feelings will progress. I am not nearly as emotional as before, but I still (oddly) have the sensation of wanting to speak to him, know that he is ok (his job can be dangerous), wonder if I come into his sixth sphere…

            Ultimately, I really miss him as a friend, he was my friend from ages 14 to 34 – it’s a long time. But I know it can never be that way again

          3. SMH says:

            I know what you mean, Supernova DE. The saddest part for many of us is the loss of a friendship. Getting intimate crosses a line where we cannot go back, right? It’s too bad. But you wouldn’t let a friend use you either – eventually you would get fed up.

            Maybe it helps to think about the future as unknown – it could happen 10 years from now that you are able to be friends with him. I am not speaking lightly about this – during my time with MRN and because of MRN, I reconnected with someone with whom I’d had a tumultuous relationship and then cut out of my life (for 17 years!). Now we are friends of sorts and that is all he means to me.

            I also met someone else a few months ago and that helped to redirect my emotional energy. Though it’s been a bit of a rough ride it made me realize that we cling to the feeling rather than to the person. That is, like the narc, we need the fuel to feel alive. The difference is that we do not use people to get it and we are better balanced internally. But if you are open, life has a way of filling in the emotional cracks (except in novels and films!).

            Anyway, I know how hard it is. I am proud of you for getting to this point and we are all here for you!

          4. Supernova DE says:

            Holy. F***.

            I received a text from an old friend last night (mutual schoolmate with MMRN). They asked me for professional advice out of the blue…but then later made a comment showing they didn’t really NEED the advice. I didn’t think anything of it last night…

            I just looked back, I haven’t heard from this person in just over a year before last night….

            I have had text exchange with this person half a dozen times in the last three years. All but one time that they initiated contact was during times I was in a “no contact” period with MMRN. The other was just to ask for my address for a xmas card.

            That timing cannot be coincidental can it?!?!
            God damn if this person is lieutenant/coterie it is so insidious…I would have guessed they were closer by far to me than to MMRN.

            HG is this real or am I being paranoid??? (sorry I’ve asked you several questions today, I owe you thanks and a consult!)

          5. HG Tudor says:

            It does appear to be a hoover by proxy on the evidence provided. They may not be a Lieutenant, they may be a Coterie member.

          6. Supernova DE says:

            Curious what you say to coterie member to get them to text a mutual friend for information…without sounding shady AF…he is not you HG, not nearly as suave haha

          7. SMH says:

            Sounds like a hoover to me too, Supernova DE, though I wouldn’t claim to be any sort of specialist (unlike HG). Still all of these seeming coincidences, like the FB stuff, appear to not be coincidences. For the longest time, I did not know I was being hoovered. I did not even know what a hoover was a year ago!

      2. Supernova DE says:

        Yea. I investigated more and there are two other instances where two other mutual friends have texted me out of the blue for no significant reason. First was during a hard shelving. Second right after it blew up and he blocked me.
        I guess if he’s getting someone to text me he probably has someone reporting on my social media as well, even though he’s blocked. Guess my fuel is worth something after all…
        I thought I would feel happy in this knowledge, but I’m just nervous. Maybe he realized I’m gone and he’s preparing for IGH. I know if he texts or emails I’ll read it, I’m not in a mental place where I could delete it. I’m like 50/50 on succumbing and probably talking to him. Just being honest with myself, I’m still vulnerable. I need more time!
        If it happens, I’m resolved to come here for support before I do anything!!!!

  3. Lori says:

    HG,
    How long does this fake profile friend request go on ? Do they eventually tire of it? I have gotten 4 or more in the last 6 months that I know of. 2,in the last 30 days. He knows I’m not going to accept

    1. HG Tudor says:

      In accordance with whether there is a Hoover Trigger and whether the Hoover Execution Criteria are met.

      1. MB says:

        You have that HT/HEC reply saved as a shortcut on your keyboard don’t you HG?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I wish I had!

      2. Lori says:

        So indefinitely? I mean at some point a Narc muse think ehhh I’m over it there are better hoovers

        1. SMH says:

          Lori, According to HG hoovers can happen even years later. I thought I was insignificant to MRN and he wouldn’t ‘miss’ my fuel, but maybe I wasn’t and he does. Poor baby. Just watch Trump and it will all make sense. There he is locked up in the WH on his lonesome without good fuel posting tweets for attention and crashing the stock market in the process.

      3. Lori says:

        I’d be the wrong person to talk to about Trump I dig him but I dig most Narcs I just can’t be involved with one romantically and it’s hard to work for them but I have for 15 years but often findvthey are brilliant

        I was hoovered by mid ranger 15 years later thanks Facebook and he too is brilliant. The lesser is not brilliant but very good in one field that suits hind to a tee. A field where you almost have to ne a narc to do

      4. Lori says:

        I will be in his sphere likely awhile we have about 50 mutual friends

        I don’t think every fake profile request I have gotten was him but I think there’s more than I have counted. I was thinking Christmas would really bring one on because I loved decorating for Christmas so much but nothing other than the fake request about 10 days ago that’s it

    2. SMH says:

      I wonder too, Lori. I’ve received maybe a dozen in the past six months, all of which I have ignored. The fake one I wrote about here was rescinded yesterday. It is no longer in my friend request box. I wonder if he will up the ante by, say, sending an email, since the HT is all in his head. Time will tell…

  4. Lori says:

    Now that we have not spoken in more than 6 months and I’m more than 2 months no contact, I’m just now learning the depth of his Facebook deception. The fake accounts and all the “me s” I just happened to rise to the top of pile of toys and now I’m at the bottom of the pile.

    Every time I think I’m getting somewhere in recovery I feel like I’m getting pulled under again. This too shall pass I suppose and I guess it’s 2 steps forward and 1 step back in recovery. Just hoping to get thru the holidays with out reaching out. One day at time

    1. Supernova DE says:

      Lori,
      Congratulations on two months! That is great progress, and you should feel good about it.

      What is making you feel pulled under? Wondering about how many of “you” there were/are? What made you rise to the top, then fall so abruptly? Feeling rejected (even though you don’t want to go back there)?

      I don’t say any of that to be flippant or to presume I know your thoughts, just that I, myself, think those things at times and it pulls me under a bit. I just try to stop the thoughts and tell myself that it does not matter, it does not matter, I am better off, I will (hopefully) stop thinking about him eventually, etc.

      Don’t reach out, you can do it! I won’t if you won’t (wink). xoxo

      1. Lori says:

        Thank you. I do know im better off. Cognitively and intellectually I Understand it wasn’t real abd was total fraud but some days and they are much fewer now I just want my friend back. He was very much my friend. We spoke daily for years. It’s seems completely insane that we do not speak yet he will send me fake profile requests. It’s all just so bizarre how you can speak to someone daily for almost 3 years then never speak to them again.

        To answer some of your questions, we share many of the same friends on social media. For the most part no one brings him up anymore to be ocassiobally I’ll see something that triggers a thought and allows me to put something (meaning one of his deceptions) together and I start realize how deep his deception was. I also will on ocassion swe a reference to the new ipss. I have her blocked but a mutual friend will mention. It’s rare but it happens and you get that sinking feeling that while you thought you had it all figured out it’s likely only the tip of the iceberg

      2. Lori says:

        Supernova DE

        I am actually surprised that with the number of me s that there likely were that he has gone to the trouble to send me fake profile requests. They are most definitely him which I never really doubted but I ran if thru HG for confirmation. They always leave you little clues to know it’s them so it will trigger you to contact. I know the game so I haven’t done it but even refraining from contact gives you anxiety to the extent of you thinking O.K. is he just going to go away or will he ramp it up or will he start something malign if I don’t fall for the contact bait

        I only know that he appears to be getting the idea that I’m gone

        1. Supernova DE says:

          Lori,
          I agree it’s interesting what they will do to get your attention after the fact.

          I’m having a bit of a rough day, reading this FB thread and also the virtual fuel matrix post coming up…a bit too close to home.

          Mine is cerebral and fairly sexually averse, but I still know he must have had at least a few other virtual IPSS like me that he had sexual interactions with. It makes me nauseous, to have given him things that are so intimate and precious and it mean nothing.

          My brain is in a bit of overdrive…how many others? did they get what I got? send him what I sent him? do I know any of them? am I friends with them?! are they more attractive than me? did he meet them in person more frequently than me?

          uggghh, I need to take my own advice and get the hell off this blog until after the holidays (no offense HG)

      3. Lori says:

        While I read things that are disturbing, I mostly find comfort. Reading this stuff while painful, keeps me in reality and reality is he’s a Narcissist who does r love me or anyone else and never will. I suppose it doesn’t really matter what he told the others, he lied to them too.

        One of the hardest things for me to get over is the loss of my companion. I literally talked to this man almost everyday multiple times a day for several years. Years not months YEARS of course I feel a sense of loss. It’s like he died. It could never be the same again. So for all intent and purpose, he’s dead and I am I’m still morning him. The person I knew is never coming back. Ever .

        No contact today and that’s a good day. Next long term goal 3 months. I have found 3 months to be a critical time frame. 3 months seems to be the time frame where you seem to turn a corner but it is also the time most likely to get a Hoover because they sense the loss of control

    2. Lori says:

      Oh and Supernova DE

      I’m going to my very best to not contact. I’m actually getting a small bit of satisfaction watching him do these ridiculous things to get my attention. I imagine him check hearing his phone and him think oh I ber this time it’s her only to see nothing from me

  5. Korova says:

    HG,

    and what about someone often asking questions via Facebook like:

    – Hey guys, who is going to X on friday and will give me a lift??

    – Who will recommend me a hotel in X?

    – A good criminal movie? NOW!

    – Dear friends do you know where to buy X?

    – A good doctor in X? Anyone?

    – Do you know anybody who works in X? I need help!

    Will you consider it to be a sign of empathy or narcissism?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If somebody posts repeatedly in this manner, I regard it as evidencing a sense of entitlement and is a narcissistic trait. Whether they are a narcissist would depend on an aggregate of factors. Thus it is indicative, but not determinative in itself.

  6. michellegedwards says:

    Great post. Even better reminder to hold back and be more cautious about sharing.

  7. Marcia says:

    Great details on how you are scanning our profiles. It’s an eye opener to realize how much we give away for your kind, even when we think we don’t, like the long list of favorite books, animal pictures etc. And very informative on how we give away our need for human attention.

    At the other end, I was always amazed why my covert ex had such repulsive FB ‘friends’ like a known womanizer, a bold ugly creature who managed to get laid every week by different women. I now realize he secretly admired the man and wanted him as a FB friend to learn how he did it.
    Another ‘friend’ was known to be a frequent visitor of prostitutes. On his FB profile he gave away a little bit of his dark side.
    Also in what he didn’t wanted to be seen, like the long term relationship with me. I should have realized that he didn’t mention me to keep all options open.

    As soon he got out (I have to admit, I finally got rid of him), his soon to be new ‘wife’ was invited as FB friend. She had a very long list of favorite books, films, design and jewelry shops. A cat with silly hat as profile picture. She did mention she had a great position on CEO level though. She was ugly and a great catch.

    I’ve unfriended him now. No contact.

  8. Caroline R says:

    “is that a Love Bomber in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
    My fuel?”
    Ha ha!

  9. Caroline R says:

    “we can ready the Love Bombers”
    Ha ha!

  10. SMH says:

    This is timely, HG. I am not anything you post above ( e.g. my profile pic is a selfie and it has a lot of likes; I don’t post anything personal/emotional etc). MRN would only be able to see my profile pic and cover photo anyway because my profile is about as locked down as it can get.

    I’m now more than 7 months NC but over the last few months I’ve had a dozen fake friend requests/suggestions, messages from strangers, and one msg removed by FB to verify the profile.

    I’ve basically ignored all of it but a few days ago I got two requests in a row. One had the surname ‘Riddle.’ I clicked on the profile (without accepting the friend request) and Mr Riddle works in the same city where I work in the UK, which is not the city where I live when I am there. There would be no way for a stranger to connect me to that city because nothing about work is on my profile and I use my nickname on FB.

    MRN knows exactly where I work as well as my annual travel schedule, so he would know that soon I return to where I live in the UK and to my long commute to work. None of it is a big secret – it’s just confusing for most people.

    As far as I know, I have not been hoovered in some time. MRN stopped visiting my LinkedIn profile after I called him out on it; idk if he has creeped me elsewhere but no direct contact. Still, Facebook fakery has really picked up the last few months – after I blocked his two fake profiles that I spotted. This one is particularly weird – Riddle and that city.

    I am probably reading too much into it but it just struck me that I have been ignoring most of it and as soon as I decide to investigate, the city where I work pops up.

    1. Mercy says:

      SMH, how have you been? Your comment made me remember something. Have you changed your profile pic lately? It seems like every time I change my profile pic or back ground pic I get 3 or 4 random creepers friend request me. I think what is happening is that if my friends comment on my pic it shows on their feed and any creeper on their friends list can see. Just a thought but I wouldn’t put it past your MRN to have fake profiles trying to see what you are up to. The fact that your profile is on lock down is probably frustrating to him that he can’t see what you are up to or if you are dating someone.

      Good for you on 7 months!! I know you are past wanting to be in any type of relationship with him but that nagging (ever presence) is hard to resist.

      Status on Irish guy??

      1. Lori says:

        Im starting to think it’s not that rhey want on to your profile, I mean they do, but that’s just icing on the cake. They know your Steve likely might going to accept and if you do it’s just an innocent mistake. What they want is for you to wonder if it’s them that’s why they leave little clues like using the city they are from and or their profession. I believe it’s meant to prevoke you into contacting them or softening you up for a hoover

        Am I right HG ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Correct.

      2. SMH says:

        Mercy,

        Hello! I am having a hard time with the ‘reply’ button but hope you can find this. How are you? Are you still in contact with your narc? How is your daughter? How is the home renovation coming?

        The new pic thing sounds possible, though I have used the current one before and it doesn’t have many new comments. Also, Mr Riddle is not friends with any of my friends. But maybe I will experiment and change it again just to see what happens. My feeling is that it isn’t MRN because it seems like too much work and he must have another fuel source by now, but HG says it is a hoover and he is the expert!

        I have noticed that IPPS does not post on FB anymore at all. Her profile is still there but zero activity, including on the profiles of friends she used to comment on all the time. But I haven’t gone any further than so I have no idea what is happening with MRN and IPPS.

        Honestly, it feels like it was all a bad dream…

        Irishman, well, I can’t really go on about it too much here as neither of us comes up smelling like a rose!! But long story short, I caused a crisis and ended things for now.

        I explained to him more about MRN because I realized I was hyper-sensitive, unable to read certain behaviors, and lashing out. I also didn’t want to leave things open while I am gone. We are still friends/in touch, and he understands that I am not mentally healthy yet and has been a lot more sensitive.

        I’m trying to be zen about it – if it was meant to be, it will be and all that. But I do want my next relationship to be the right one. So I will take the next six months to continue clearing my head and we’ll see where we are when I return.

        It did help me to get past MRN and now when I obsess, I obsess about Irishman instead! Ha. But he’s not a narc, he’s not trying to manipulate me, and I trust him.

        1. Mercy says:

          SMH, what is it about our obsessions. I completely get it! My daughter is doing ok. We talked about it Friday. It’s sad but he guilts her. She comes across as a huge bitch to anyone that doesn’t know her but in reality has the biggest heart and has a hard time saying no to anyone. At least she has identified this. Hopefully she will work through it.

          Renovation is great. I made a concrete countertop this weekend. I’m in love with it.

          As of last week, no contact. I talked about it on another thread but two of his sources got together behind his back, exchanged info and went to the police to file harassment charges. One of the sources is a narcissist. I suspected but from the beginning but a few months ago she stepped up her game. It was all very satisfying for me. This is the revenge I’ve waited for for years. I still feel anger but other than that I’m good. Since he couldn’t contact them he immediately turned on his primary and me. He tried hard to pull me in and when that didn’t work he blamed me for their actions. He’s delusional haha. He’ll never be able to create a spark between us again. He failed miserably and the attraction just isn’t there. I assume he’s working on another source. He has reserves.

          I’d trust HGs response. He knows, plus it doesn’t hurt to assume it’s MRN and take precautions.

          As far as IPPS, maybe you exposing him caused more of a stir than you realize. Think about how he got in your head. Now think about her being exposed to the abuse daily. I stopped posting on social media about 6 months ago, quit the gym, stopped hanging with friends. I got my revenge but I’m beaten down. He almost broke me and I’m made of some strong stuff. Maybe the combination of you telling her and her daily manipulation by him is taking a toll on her. It’s something to consider.

          I also know my narcs IPPS has given up the fight as well. She is comfortable in the abuse and has come to terms that this is her life. Maybe this is happening with MRN’s primary. It’s hard to say what’s going on but it’s safe to say we know nothing. The devastation of the illusion after thinking for years that you know someone is almost unbearable. Knowing that the relationship is bad then getting confirmation that it’s worse than bad, I don’t think we ever really recover from something like that. These are just my thoughts.

          I’m sorry to hear about Irish man. You are right though, it’ll be if it’s meant to be. You had a hard time from the beginning. I remember you saying that trust was a huge issue and you were afraid of being to sensitive. Six months away might clear things in your head. Focus on your happiness. I’m ready to take my own advice and move on. 2019 is going to be my year. I saw this to it’s end and now I’ve got to get back out there.

          1. SMH says:

            Mercy, I love this comment. I can sense that your road is open and yes, 2019 will be your year. Plus I was just thinking about what to do about the horrible countertop in my kitchen, so very timely. Want to come on over and help me make a concrete countertop?? 🙂

            I’m sitting here at 2:00 a.m. having returned to the fake profile now that HG has said it is a hoover (thanks, HG, for feeding my obsession!). I noticed a saying Mr Riddle put in the little bio box. Doesn’t sound like anything MRN would say, as it has the word ‘love’ in it. But if I were still as addled as I was a few months ago, I might think it was a secret message to me! Ha.

            Happy to hear that your narc got his comeuppance. Revenge is sweet – karma is sweet. What did they say to the police? I mean what was he doing that would allow them to file harassment charges?

            I know what you mean about the spark being gone. I felt that way with MRN the last time we saw each other, and he hadn’t done anything new other than give me an ST. I am also made of strong stuff but that silence was the straw that broke the camel’s back. lol.

            IPPS was quite isolated in the UK – maybe a combo of their dynamic and the abuse, including the self-isolation that you describe, which I also experienced, especially post escape. I think you will come out of it now that there is some resolution/closure. In any case, I don’t really have a good handle on her. She tried to have friends, especially when I think they were separated, but mostly she was alone ALL the time. She did not work and had no consistent interests or direction. Very different from me and my world. I once asked him what she did all day and he said he didn’t know! Shocking. Anyway, maybe now that they are back in Canada she has found the strength to leave, but I doubt it.

            I do feel more sympathy for her now that I am not so caught up with him. I hope I made up for what I did by telling her.

            Happy to hear your daughter is making progress. We all have a hard time saying no, right? HG has a great post about this – ‘Why Yes Is Not Always Best.’ Maybe it would help your daughter to read it.

          2. Mercy says:

            SMH,

            “Thanks, HG for feeding my obsession!” Pretty sure you asked him…twice!! Haha careful what we wish for huh?

            As far as what happened, its a long story but I’ll skinny it up. It started in November. He met a girl. There was no golden period. A couple days of them trying to impress each other. After that the war began. I think it was week 2 he told her she wasn’t girl friend material but he’d bang her. They went back and forth trying to get the upper hand. There was enough negative fuel flying around to feed a dozen narcs for the Winter. Remember the girl I told you about that he swindled out of all that money? He brought her back in and she was his “friend” someone he told his problems to when I wouldn’t listen (remember I went NC for 2 months). Well the current girl started a smear campaign. A very quiet one and it damaged his rep with people that were important in his life. This and a few other things confirmed to me that she was a narcissist as well. She also went behind his back and started getting into the ear of the “friend” (the one that lost the money). They started to exchange stories and the friend handed out information that he was giving her. BS got wind of it while stalking Facebook (see how I tied that in on this post 😉). The friend went silent and wouldn’t answer questions. He started harassing her and messaging her new boyfriend smearing her. All of this is happening while he is talking to the narc fuel source. Then he gets a call from the police. Friend source filed a complaint. That evening he gets a message from an old fling that works in the police department. Turns out both friend source and narc source went to the police together. There can be no contact between the 3 of them. I haven’t talked to him for a while but he was pretty unhinged last I knew. I’m sure he’s getting in more trouble. I can’t see him letting this go.

            As much as I’d like to watch the rest of the show I have to back out. He’s going to turn his rage toward someone and I don’t want to be next in line. I wish I could say I had nothing to do with it but I nudge it along when I had the opportunity. Nothing major, just enough to keep his rage going.

            As far as your MRNs primary, I’m glad to hear you are starting to see her side of thing. I don’t think you should feel guilt though. There’s no need to feel like you had to make up for what you did. You were manipulated into the position, you weren’t there by choice. At least not in the beginning. If you had know about her from the start I doubt the relationship would have gotten far. Once they have us entangled the lines of right and wrong become blurry.

            I’d live to help with your countertop. Wish I could!! It was a lot of fun and I’m very happy with the result. If you do it, I’d suggest the skim coat. You just go over your existing countertop. It’s a dusty mess but worth it in the end.

          3. SMH says:

            Mercy,

            Oh my. So. Much. Drama. I think if we all just say no to drama, the narcs would move on but I also think it’s fine that you nudged it along. I would do the same – put little effort in for a big return, just like a narc would do. They deserve it. I think of it as guerrilla warfare.

            I’m not sure what MRN’s IPPS has experienced. But given our interactions, I’d have to say that the abuse is systemic and of course long term, with my part probably quite minor. Not sure I am expressing that properly but her problems would be way deeper than me. Still, I realize I got a taste of what her life must be like.

            I wish HG had told me that it was NOT a hoover. I honestly thought he would…but I think my obsession has passed now. Haven’t thought more about it today.

      3. Lori says:

        HG

        All I can say is I am grateful for the information you have given me. This happened to me 25 years ago and then again 10 years ago and now. Had I had this information 25 years ago, it may still have happened but it wouldn’t have done as much damage. 25 years ago there was no internet to speak of. Narcissism wasn’t a commonly used word. I had no idea what was happening and assumed it was all my fault.

        I know you have your critics, but you have been most helpful to me and others. That is why I become so irritated at these people who come here to tell you what you are. You know exactly what you are. In the time I’ve been here, I have become more aware of your perspective now. I “get it” so to speak. I may not agree with it but understand it now. You may be a Narcissist, but you are also a human being who was abused as a child. I’m sorry that happened to you. That is not pity, I do not pity you. I think you do more than fine. I’m just sorry that someone did that to you af a child. You did not ask for this it was put on you.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I appreciate your sentiments, thank you. Yes, as I have said many times before, you do not have to like me, you do not have to agree with me, but I am giving you the best information about the way me and my kind think and behave and what that means for you. Those that come and attack me provide a little fuel and invariably either wise up (the hurt victims who get their anger out and then realise they can learn much here) or just make a fool of themselves and provide further examples of the behaviours and the dynamics. They are never going to get the reaction they crave from me. My time is better served engaging with those who wish to learn, debate in a constructive manner and share their observations in an appropriate fashion. It is not about people worshipping me – for instance Mona often disagrees with me and quite forcefully but that is her opinion to which she is entitled but she does it in a constructive fashion and I have no issue with that. I correct inaccuracies but some people are unable to see that and think they are being attacked or singled out when they are not, but there is little point trying to explain that to them because they cannot see it, nor will they. I will give you the very best tools for you all to use in your own advancement and achievement of recovery and freedom.

          1. MB says:

            After such an honest and eloquent response to Lori (and your readers in general) how can anybody not love you, HG?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you. I am consistent in the constructive role I provide here – most people grasp that, a few cannot.

          3. SMH says:

            HG, I will always be grateful to you for swooping in when I was in crisis mode and steering me through the emotional sea with no judgment. I might be one of your success stories! But I was ready to soak it all up and learn. Occasionally I disagree with you but what do I know? I am still constantly surprised. I defer to your greater greatness.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome.

      4. Lori says:

        HG

        I believe I have grown a bit since coming here. I did not understand this whole perspective thing right away now I do. You see people thru a filter that placed on you as a child it’s not the same as mine, but I get it I also have a filter that I did not choose for myself. Am I a needy whiney stereotypical Codepebdent? No I am not the same way you are not the stereotypical self loathing Narcissistic that victims like to believe you are to ease their pain. These deep seated emotions that are part of these disorders are mot conscious to us. We do not feel them like people think we do, They do not manifest as feelings but behaviors but I have come to realize that I size every person up right away and develop my approach to them. I do it quickly and I do instinctively. I am not fully conscious of it. It’s just what I do which is why you will see me as the controller or the controllee depending on the dynamic. I was not even aware that I had control issues until it was brought to my attention thru behavior I developed.

        I realize now that I will always be susceptible to your kind bevause in reality I am more similar to your kind than I am different which is why a Narc feels comfortable to me. This will be a constant battle for me

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Lori
          I think anyone around any length of time here can see your growth (as well as that of others). I know I am just another avatar here to you Lori, and we have not always agreed on things, but for what it’s worth – I’m proud of your growth, and happy that you are understanding more, and in a way that helps you moving forward. You seem a little more at peace, and you have helped me to learn also. That is ultimately what we all want for each other I think, despite how it may come across at times and while looking at things from all (and sometimes uncomfortable) angles. It’s why this place is so special and appreciated, and why we are so protective of it. It’s rewarding not only for ourselves, but in witnessing the journey of others.

      5. Lori says:

        What always floors me here is the sense of entitlement from supposed “Empaths” the bottom line is you have no obligation to tell us a damn thing. Zero. It is physically impossible forbidden you to respond to every question. I am happy and appreciative of the responses I get and I can’t get my mind around people emailing and /or commenting with demands for you to reply.

        Many months later, I see you in an entirely by different light now

        I’m appreciative of whatever information you give me and I have found it to be accurate

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Well those who make the demands aren’t empaths.

          1. I ❤️ HG Tudor says:

            Are you saying that empaths are never demanding? Or are you just referring to how they interact with you on your blog? Because I can think I plenty of times in my personal life where I had ask nicely a question multiple times and didn’t receive an answer and then out of frustration I would say are you going to answer me? Or answer me I am talking to you.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            How they interact with me here. They make a polite request to me, I reply so there is no need for them to keep asking. There is no manipulation.

            In my private life I would of course ignore an empath so that they would keep demanding as that, of course, would be fuel.

          3. I ❤️ HG Tudor says:

            Ok. Cool

          4. I ❤️ HG Tudor says:

            Oh one more thing. You are missed by some of your followers on Facebook.

          5. MB says:

            I’m an ignored empath most days! But since I found you, HG, I don’t beg for a reply.

            One MB text + No N reply = MB silence (for the day or longer)

            But…One MB text + One itty bitty N reply (crumb) = 10 immediate texts from MB before he could get a word in edgewise.

            Yeah, she remains keen. No need to answer the flurry. N Silence again.

      6. 2SF says:

        HG,

        “Well those who make the demands aren’t empaths”

        You do not understand this. It is actually very empathic to be worried about the person one has been responding to, being afraid they will feel ignored or confused why they don’t get an answer..
        It has nothing to do with feeling entitled or being demanding.
        Well for some this might the case (I do not know what emails you get), for others it is not.

        You are never being ignored, so you have no idea how that feels, only cognitively.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Wrong.

          It is the manner in which it is done. Those who are empathic write politely asking have they done something wrong because a comment has not appeared and offer their apologies if they have caused a problem. Or they say they haven’t seen their comments appear and wonder if there is a problem. They do not demands, they do not accuse, they are exhibiting a concern that they have caused offence to me (unwittingly) which has meant that the comment has not appeared.

          Those who are not go on the attack – “why are you picking on me”, “you should put my comments up”, “why are you singling me out” , ” just because I don’t suck upto you, you are taking it out on me” – note how those comments are made without any evidence. They do not know how many comments are waiting in moderation so how can they possibly know that they are being singled out? They cannot and they are not. They exhibit entitlement, lash out at me on the basis of ignited fury because they feel ignored and I have seen it repeatedly with a small number of individuals (and they do it more than once even when I explain to them the system surrounding moderation).

          As you recognise, you do not know the content of the emails I receive – I do. I could publish them to demonstrate just how these people behave, but I choose not to because I treat the communications as confidential. With certain individuals I see far more about their behaviour than people do on the blog and believe me, I am restrained with regard to the information I have. If I ever did disclose these emails (not that I intend to) you would, I have no doubt, agree with my analysis and stance. I have given certain individuals repeated chances to contribute and have done so in the face of discourtesy, attack and rudeness which has all been unmerited – they however fail to regulate themselves as the comments show and the emails only reinforce that. As I state however, the communications I receive are always treated in confidence to maintain the integrity of this place.

          1. 2SF says:

            Okay, I get it, I don’t know about those emails, I’m sorry.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No need to apologise, but your response demonstrates your constructive stance. I understand your earlier comment in challenging my position and I have no issue with that because you did so in a constructive fashion, I responded similarly, explaining the position and giving you more of the picture.

          3. MB says:

            HG, bless you for keeping your in box sacred! Professional as ever.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you.

          5. Mercy says:

            Honestly you have more patience than an empath with this web site. It is appreciated and your hard work is noticed.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you – that stated, you haven’t seen the pile of broken objects and tortured souls I get through each day!

          7. Mercy says:

            Haha I’m fine not knowing about your tortured souls. Id like to keep your image in my happy place.

      7. Lori says:

        I swear to God what the hell is wrong with these some of these people that they don’t think emailing you and demanding responses isn’t demanding?

        Let’s be clear about this, it isn’t HG’s responsibiy to make sure anyone undestands or is or isn’t confused. The infornation is there for you to interpret. If you can’t interpret than ask the question anx he’ll respond if he feels inclined to do so. It really is that simple

        I’m starting to wonder who the real Narcissist is. I can’t believe the sense of entitlement I have been reading on this page lately. He has way more patience than I do

        Holy moly

      8. mommypino says:

        HG, I appreciate you respecting privacy and being so patient with us. But if you ever have to show an email as an example, I don’t mind you showing mine. So people can see how professional and courteous you are. I actually thought that I wouldn’t get a response until Dec. 13 because that’s what your automatic response said but you addressed my concern as fast as you can which I totally appreciate.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I appreciate your assistance but I shall maintain the confidentiality. Most readers know I am professional, it was more about explaining how a small number of individuals behave which draws the distinction between readers who are empathic and those who are not.

      9. Lori says:

        Narc Angel

        I appreciate your words. I am aware that I can have very agressive tone and personality. When I came here I was very hurt and angry and that was my perspective at the time. While I made have said I was looking for understanding, I was not. I was looking for way to manipulate the Narc and looking for ways to win. I now fully comprehend the only way to win is to not acknowledge him. I’m.my longest nc and it’s becoming apparent even to him that he’s losing his grip hence these ridiculous fake profile requests. With that said, it’s still a struggle for me. I no longer make grandiose claims of how no contact I am. I just take it one day at a time. I simply tell myself iI will not text him today. That is all I can say. I make no guarantees. It’s one day at a time.

    2. Lori says:

      Oh.my. God. I have gotten 2 fake profile requests in the last few weeks both share the same fake first name both from his city. WTF ??!

      I was thinking maybe it was just coincidence. It can’t be

      1. HG Tudor says:

        It’s not.

      2. SMH says:

        HG, Not sure I am replying in the right place and I know I did not ask you a direct question, but does your response to Lori mean that mine is not a coincidence either?

        Lori’s seems more deliberate/less coincidental than mine.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Could you restate the facts in your situation please SMH and I will respond.

          1. SMH says:

            Hi HG, Sure. I’m more than 7 months NC but over the last few months I’ve had a dozen fake friend requests/ suggestions, direct messages from strangers, and one msg removed by FB to verify the profile – all after I blocked the two fake profiles I knew were MRN.

            A few days ago I got two requests in a row. One had the surname ‘Riddle.’ I clicked on the profile (without accepting the friend request) and what do you know but Mr Riddle works in the same city where I work in the UK, which is not the city where I live when I am there. There would be no way for a stranger to connect me to the work city because nothing about work is on my profile and I use my nickname on FB.

            MRN is one of the few people who knows exactly where I work as well as my travel schedule (it’s not a big secret – just confusing to most people). He would know that soon I return to the UK and my long commute to work in the same city where Mr Riddle works! Ha.

            As far as I know, I have not been hoovered in some time. MRN stopped visiting my LinkedIn profile after I called him out on it back in the spring and of course I blocked the fake profiles that I recognized as him. Idk if he has creeped me elsewhere but no direct contact.

            I am probably reading too much into it but it just struck me that I have been ignoring most of it and as soon as I decide to investigate, the city where I work pops up.

            Thoughts? (Sorry to be so vague.)

          2. HG Tudor says:

            It’s a hoover.

          3. SMH says:

            Thanks! I do find it hard to believe but hey, I did not know about any of these online hoovers for the longest time, so I guess it is possible. He must really be short on fuel to take any action as opposed to just sitting there like a lump waiting for me to make contact…

      3. Lori says:

        Hg

        Do they leave those clues on purpose to prevoke you into contact ? He knows I would never accept those requests

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It is done in the expectation of provoking some form of response.

        2. SMH says:

          Lori, I would have been incredulous a year or so ago but mine online creeps all the time (FB, dating site, LinkedIn). It used to provoke me into contact because I thought he must really want me but be too shy or reluctant to drag poor me back into his circus? Haha. How naive I was. Thanks to HG, I am now better schooled in online creeping, though I still find it hard to believe that mine would make the effort to send me a fake friend request.

          I’d say yours does not want you to accept the friend request per se. He wants you to think about him (ever presence) and contact him.

      4. Lori says:

        Hg and smh

        To clarify it’s not his first name he’s using but another name that’s sorta common but not John or Robert or William and one them was in reverse order like Smith Lori the other was like Lori Johnson

        The first came right before my birthday this one 3 or 4 weeks later

        It just seems weird the first name thing while a common name not that common and from the same city ? Come on …

        I feel like he wants me to know then I think ok Siri maybe you are just over thinking this ?

      5. Lori says:

        Here’s the thing, I could text him right now and he’d ignore me. He also left an exchange between he and the new ipss public. If he though that would make me contact he’s dead wrong.it had the complete opposite effect.

        I am not contacting him or sending him fake profile requests or showing up on threads where I kniw he has commented and I haven’t even discussed him with any common friends. I looked at his fake profile one time. It’s him doing all that shit not me. So I don’t know what control he thinks he has? Seems like he’s the one out of control to me

      6. Lori says:

        Hg

        You are right it’s not a coincidence. I went and looked at the game profike friend request and I now see a picture referencing a sports team in my city. He knows I’m a fan

        So I’m supposed to fhink that this guy from his city in a line of work (mit exsctly the same but close ) witb pictures of a team from my city with the same first name of a fake profile that I got a request from 2 days before my birthday is a coincidence?

        No way. It is not.

        So if I continue to ignore does he just go away? These fake profile requests seem to be getting more desperate in that he’s adding thing specific to me I e the sports team to lure me in

        The way I am reading this HG is his ego will not allow him to unblock me and contact him directly. He wants me to do it and wants me to ask him to unblock me. Do I have this right HG ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You do.

      7. Lori says:

        Thank you. Wow it is like I have had an explosion of understanding go off in my head in the last month, but I will say that doesn’t translate into being cured of my addiction. That is a choice I’m having to make daily yes daily. All I can say is I will not contact him today.

        Some days I feel at peace and my anger is much less. Who am I angry at anyway? A man who was abused as a child whose only means to cope with the pain was to develop Narcissism ? He didn’t choose it and he knows no different. It’s not like he can wake up one morning and say im morning gonna be a Narc today. It’s who he is. It’s now up to me to know that this will never change and that if I interact with him he will hurt me even though I miss the part of him that was on ocassion my friend. I just have to stay away. It’s all very sad for all of us but we just have to go on and accept what it is

        So if I do not respond to these ridiculous hoovers does he ramp it up or just go away or is there a 50 50 chance for it to go either way ?

    3. Lori says:

      I would say surname “Riddle” is all you need to know. It is completely bizarre to me that a mental disorder causes them to all act the same regarding things like social media

      1. SMH says:

        Lori, yes. It seemed unlike him at first but he did purposely gave himself a fake email name that created a common word. It was like calling yourself ‘S. Low.’ Kind of a riddle but too much for my brain! Still, if they are all the same it could be any random narc, right?

      2. Lori says:

        No. I mean they are the same with regard to their online behavior with their victims. It’s not s random narc

        1. SMH says:

          Erghh. Talk about a head explosion. I think deep down I want him to be normal — just an asshole. But all of the evidence points to something way beyond that.

  11. Mercy says:

    It’s scary but even someone who isn’t a predator can see exactly what you have written (#3 is annoying). People feel safe posting because they are in their homes behind locked doors. It gives them the false sense of security but what they forget is the people reading what they post may have bad intentions.

    Also social media is such a liar. You can be whoever you want to be. I enjoy knowing what is going on in my friends life but there are so many that portray a perfect life when they’re really a train wreck. Look at Shannon Watts. No one would ever have known their family was in trouble by looking at her Facebook. We think we know how our friends are doing because we see their post but nothing can replace 1 on 1 interaction.

    I enjoy social media but after reading this it does remind me to be careful.

    1. Caroline R says:

      So true Mercy.
      And as for ‘Fakebook’…

      1. E. B. says:

        Caroline R,
        Exactly. Tell me what you brag about and I’ll tell you what you lack.

  12. Kel says:

    Ross H Michael seems obvious, he’s an attractive man, not cute, but seductive looking, how I would picture HG, his pic is of him in the drivers seat of his car. His friend request was fleeting, disappearing after I googled him and found nothing. The no pic Roger McWilliams and mediocre George Park’s friend requests’ remain, they are all three new.

    “We are on safe ground when we say that mentally stable and healthy women refrain from having relationships with narcissists.” SV

    I’m so happy to have found out about narcissism, to realize the damage it’s done to me, and to be able to dust off my feet, shake it off, and finally be free to be me. Mentally stable and healthy, and not susceptible to a narcissist convincing me otherwise. I can coexist. They are truly something that can cause havoc, but they’re unavoidable. Appease them like a child, smile and compliment, ignore their tantrums, and make a point to be happy and loving. Enjoy living, spread your light, smile, don’t allow anyone to dim who you are. Celebrate goodness, don’t be fooled or rerouted by no-gooders. Make peace, love and happiness your hourly goal, when someone cuts you off in traffic, chuckle because you know it’s probably a narc trying to wipe that smile off your face, don’t let them.

  13. lisk says:

    Oh, wow. This is brilliant.

    I have no Facebook page. Ex-narc had to get to know me one-on-one. Perhaps I made it too difficult for him. (He no longer has to work for it. He has a new job and has women throwing themselves all over him due to his new professional and social standing.)

    The woman I suspect as being a former secondary and possibly new primary has Facebook and Pinterest accounts.. She posts a lot of quotes, like “Love conquers all” or she posts photos of hearts. She clearly makes herself know as a love devotee. She’s got one or two photos of herself as well, dog and occasional teenaged kid included.

    Meanwhile, as a former mystery woman who did not turn out to be a love devotee, I and my stale fuel have been discarded for a full-on fuel provider.

    So, so, so, so grateful I can say the above with logic and with only a minute amount of emotion. I owe this ability to you, Mr. Tudor, or HG….however you prefer to be addressed.

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  14. MommyPino says:

    Great article! Glad that my children’s pictures on FB are narc repellants. I was surprised about the relationship status though. I didn’t have it there before because my husband is not on FB, but I decided to indicate that I am married in my status after the Somatic narc tried to seduce me. My thought process was that maybe the Somatic narc would see that as a sign of my commitment to my marriage. Now I know that it doesn’t work that way. So thankful that we have you to guide us with how narcissists think.

    1. Caroline R says:

      Hi MP
      This is a lovely picture of you and your tiny one. Is this your precious daughter?

      1. mommypino says:

        Yes Caroline R. This picture and the other obe I posted a couple of days ago. It’s her 2nd birthday so I am feeling a little nostalgic. Time goes by so fast. 😊

      2. Caroline R says:

        Happy 2nd Birthday to your little girl!
        She wears a crown of beauty and honour, just like Miss Universe Catriona Gray who is Philippina/Australian.
        What sorts of things does she like to do? What songs does she like to sing or listen to? Does she like to dance? Does she adore her big brother and do everything he does?
        You’re doing so well managing with two little ones. I’m sure you’re sleep deprived.

      3. mommypino says:

        Caroline, You know Filipinos so well. We are definitely in celebratory mode for Catriona winning Miss Universe. Two things are the biggest for us, Miss Universe and other beauty pageants and boxing.

        Actually, it’s slightly embarrassing to admit, but my daughter is definitely beautiful. My son is good looking too but the little girl is the one that always get the admiration. Just a week or so ago we were eating out with my husband’s relatives and the waiter accidentally met my daughter’s gaze and he froze looking at her and said that she is the most beautiful baby that he has ever seen. And it was a little awkward because there were a lot of other kids there too eating with us but he only said that about her and he said it like he really meant it. She also got her dad’s height, the pediatrician estimates that she will be about 5’10 as an adult. She is so sweet but also very sassy. Our little boy is the empath but I think she will be a normal or a super empath with her sweet sassiness. She’s obsessed with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. But she is most obsessed with her brother, chasing him and forcing a kiss or two on him.

        Do you also have a kid/kids? Or nieces and nephews?

    2. E. B. says:

      MommyPino,
      When it comes to repelling narcissists, indicating your married status on FB is just as ineffective as wearing a ring.

  15. EC says:

    I got off Facebook 2 1/2 years ago. Totally worth it.

  16. Fuel on the Shelf says:

    I was/still am so guilty of #14 that it’s not even funny. Urgghhh….

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