The Narcissist’s 7 False Contritions
1. I am sorry I went away.
You probably said something that I did not like, you may not have said anything at all, but you did something which criticised me and I wanted to punish you so I disappeared. I am not going to tell you what I was doing whilst I was gone but I only thought about you when I looked at your pleading texts and missed calls. The rest of the time I spent it with your predecessor who I wanted to be with because, well, she hadn’t criticised me. Of course, she spoilt it and that is why I have come back to you pretending to be sorry. I need your fuel again, so here I am with my false remorse.
2. I am sorry I didn’t listen.
I didn’t listen to you because you have nothing of importance to say. Ever. That is compared to me. You should listen to me more because I do not like it when you do not. In fact I hate it. I rarely hear the words you say anyway, you are actually wasting your breath. I am far too focussed on the emotion that is spewing from you, your hurt, your frustration, your anger and your hatred. That is what I want to listen to. That gives me the fuel that I crave. I will pretend I will listen to you in the future so you provide me with some positive fuel for a while and then I will become deaf to what you have to say once again.
3. I am sorry that I hit you.
You made me do it because you will not do what I want and you will not give me what I need. I am torn between needing you and being disgusted by the fact that I am bound to someone as pathetic as you, when I am so brilliant. I am concerned that what I did may be detected by others and consequently the façade that I have created and maintained to everyone outside these four walls will be damaged. I am concerned I may have to spend some of my precious time charming law enforcement if you are treacherous enough to report me.
4. I am sorry I was unfaithful.
If you paid me more attention I would not have to do it, or at least, perhaps not as often. It was your fault that I went elsewhere because you do not admire me like you used to do. You should do so. Everyone admires me and you should be no different. I am irritated that I got caught because I thought I had covered my tracks and been cleverer than you. I am annoyed because you have scared off the other woman with your histrionics and now I am going to have to use my time and energy to find someone else now. I had a great little set-up there and you have ruined it with your interference. Just as you always spoil everything.
5. I am sorry I wasn’t there for you.
I really cannot be bothered having to support you when you are unwell. I find it a waste of my time because everything should be about me, not you. I do not like to be reminded of weakness. I see too much of myself when I do. I need my energies and time to carry out my machinations and gather fuel, not to play nurse maid to you. I do not care that you have looked after me, that is your role. I am too great to tend to you, it is beneath me. I am concerned that my lack of caring and attentiveness has proven the last straw however and my false contrition is purely designed to stop you leaving me.
6. I am sorry I am not a better person.
I am better, way better than you and everyone else, but I know you are fixated with the idea of making me better, changing me and healing me, so I say this to make you feel sorry for me and to hint at the fact that I want to change and become someone better. I am never going to change but I do love to keep you hanging on thinking that I will as this stops you leaving me and deserting me when I need my fuel. I will keep mentioning this so you stick around until such time as I have lined up someone else and I have drained you, then you disappear for all I care. In the meanwhile I will continue to insinuate that I am capable of change and improvement so that you do not go anywhere else. I need my fuel after all.
7. I am sorry for myself.
At least this one is true. I feel very sorry for myself and with good reason. I am just trying to get through life and deal with the jealous people, the envious people and the horrible people who are trying to hurt me. I know there are hundreds of them and I have done nothing to them, yet they insist on trying to hurt me. It is a terrible burden to carry, knowing that there are so many people out there against you, especially when you are as a wonderful and as brilliant as I am. I need your pity, your sympathy and your empathy. Give it to me. It is all fuel. I do not deserve to be treated like this do I? I am human too you know.
21 thoughts on “The Narcissist’s 7 False Contritions”
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7. HUMANS? Never they were HUMANS, from their chidhood they wanted that , but never tried. They are HUMANOIDS a copy of us and this is the reason of their dislike us .
A LOT OF BLADE RUNNER !! They are always hidden by masks.
The humans treatment to the humanoids like second class citizens !!
#4 ….Leave. GOSO. Because you will be EXHAUSTED trying to keep something that will never be yours
I complained on another post about how some of these harsh truths really hurt me. And they do — but they are so important. As an IPSS that was shelved soon after the golden period, I never got to see the really bad side of him. As awful as I felt when he transformed into someone else overnight, I cannot imagine how it would feel to be on the receiving end of this behavior/treatment. I need to focus on feeling lucky, spared. My heart goes out to all who endured this callousness 🙁
Hello, H.G.Tudor.
Point 7 is it true that you feel bad about yourself?
I don’t think so, I’m going to read this point once again…
Who are those jealous, envious and horrible people who want to hurt you so much?
Your own victims? We?
Not this, again a projection, a paranoia of persecution, where you see imaginary enemies?
What I get clear from this post is that any apology from a narcissist is just one of his thousands of manipulations because:
People DO NOT CHANGE, they just get tired of FINGING what THEY ARE NOT…
Familiarity breeds contempt, and therefore they are tired of the positive fuel we provide… They only have fun, when they get the negative fuel for their control and power, martyrising, tormenting and torturing their victims, with their manipulations, triangulations, devaluations, discards and hoovering. Just a game for them…
HG,
I hear a lot, “I’m sorry FOR you, I’m sorry you are so angry and bitter inside. I’m just so sad for YOU!” I usually look at him and smile and tell him, “Thank you, but I really don’t need your sympathy. I’m good!”
Do you have a comment that would shut him down and put it back on him?
Or would silence be best?
Silence. GOSO.
Agreed! Both are good! Thank you!
Also, it was GOSO that introduced you to me! I am hooked. ..it opened my eyes and gave what i live a name. Thank you for that!
Some of the most common deceitful apologies I have heard from passive-aggressive people include *(sorry) if*, *(sorry) but* and also *might* to keep the upper hand and to avoid taking responsibility for their actions:
“Sorry *if you felt* hurt by something I *might* have said/done”, or “Sorry *if* my words hurt you”
“Sorry *but* …” In other words, “Sorry but I am not sorry”
They do not want to be made accountable, even when they hurt people deliberately.
The only apologies I received began with “Sorry if –“
E.B., “Sorry if” was always my line. Obviously I had to apologize for every fight so I started saying things like “I’m sorry if you are angry” “I’m sorry that we disagreed”. It gave me a little satisfaction that I wasn’t actually apologizing for his horrible treatment. I slipped in a “I’m sorry if you don’t realize you’re an emotional retard” once. That one didn’t go over well but it made me feel better.
Hi Mercy,
Re: “I’m sorry if you don’t realize you’re an emotional retard.”
If you were composed and your body language did not give away your feelings (free of any fuel), I think that it may have wounded him. I am not so sure because of ‘retard’.
Well I meant it in the true sense of the word meaning his emotions have been delayed or held back of development. I do get digs in while composed. His last 1000 word email got a one word response from me “loser”. I know I’m not supposed to respond but I can’t help it.
Mercy,
I understood what you meant. I was speaking about the way of delivering the message: free of fuel in order to wound him instead of feeding him with fuel.
He apologized once again I guess stuck between golden wedge and fake discard.. . I was planning on NC slowly . But he vanished on me instead..
Could saying sorry to me and me accepting the apology instead blaming myself for it made him flight?
Dear DoForLuv,
He’s throwing you breadcrumbs…….why the hell are “you” apologising ..for what ? You need to be saying to yourself …”I’m sorry I ever met him”
He will always “flight” … that’s who they are !
You can’t “slowly” NC
It’s all or nothing …. make him disappear … he’s no good for you … end of story
With all the luv in the world … ditch him and move on (he’s playing games with your head)
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thats so true Bubbles I know you are more than right ! . He did return the day I wrote it later that day . I realized my slowly NC makes no sense at all . He was gone 10 days returnend with only negative energy because I ignored the whole show , that was my moment to go NC completely I just didn’t do it ! .
But your comment means everything to me thank you love !! ❤️❤️❤️
Dear DoForLuv,
I did add an “extra” to your comment ….which hasn’t appeared yet … hopefully in a day or ??
Mr Tudors website is going completely nuts on my end and it’s so frustrating … I’m all over the place, completely lost, falling behind, pulling my hair out, going completely hysterical and does Mr Tudor care ?
No …..not in the least and couldn’t give a rats razoo 🤣
I thought I may have been a tad brutal sweet one … . but deep down I really wish you well and I don’t want to see you wasting your precious time on this negative nanny knitwit
You’re too good for that
Tell him he’s dreaming and rack off
Your have better things to do … like wax your bajingo, tweeze your eyebrows, redo your lovely toenails and fingernails cherry red, royal blue or emerald green, give yourself a facial and bronzed spray tan
Put on some Ed Sheehan, Michael Buble, Queen whatever your style and he can go take a flying leap
Find someone better …. it won’t be too difficult
Hugs beautiful
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Awwww !!don’t you worry sweetheart 🤗🤗😅.
It was all fine with me I appreciate honesty bubbles ☺️.I’ve been torn for a year now but its really time to move on . I understand where you coming from and the logic you are apply.Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me ❤️. And I’ll just do everything you listed hahahaha . He can kick rocks !
🤗❤️🤗
It is as if the Sociopath-narc in my life wrote this himself.
😔