See You In Court

SEEYOUINCOURT

A former girlfriend of mine, Elizabeth, took the foolish step of instigating legal proceedings against me. This vexatious litigant decided that I owed her a sum of money. I will not trouble you with the intricacies of the dispute but it revolved around an investment that she made. The investment did not work and being the type of person who cannot accept that she could get it wrong, Elizabeth looked to me for redress.

At first it began with a couple of telephone calls. We had parted company but I was pleased to note that she had retained my mobile number (I of course had ensured I had kept hers)and she telephoned me requesting payment of the investment sum. Initially I decided that I would string her along and explained that I would look into it to see what I could do. There was of course no prospect of her recovering that money. I do not indulge in repayments and moreover it was her own idiocy that resulted in her loss, she ought to have undertaken some due diligence beforehand and if she failed to do so then on her head be it. I enjoyed receiving the texts and calls from her as she asked when she might receive the money. I fobbed her off using my charm and well-honed powers of procrastination. Her demanding nature served as delicious fuel to me.

The calls ended and instead she penned a couple of letters. They were rather well written, eloquent perhaps, albeit it misplaced both in fact and in law. I replied to them, after all, it would be ill-mannered not to do so, but now I rejected her assertions out of hand. I wielded my power of no and had no need to explain myself. I am not accountable to her. I am not accountable to anybody.

The next letter made threats of police involvement and I laughed at those. I knew that would get her nowhere and I replied in such terms. I pointed out how such an action would be entirely misguided and if she raised a complaint she would find herself in the receiving end of litigation from me. She wisely heeded those warnings.

She did however maintain her claim in the civil arena and she instructed a firm of solicitors to recover the money that she claim she owed. I ignored these letters. I was becoming bored of these demands now and besides I had other targets to attend to. I thought she would get the message and cease with her tiresome pursuit but instead she issued court proceedings against me. In order to be satisfied that I had them she chose to instruct a process server to effect personal service of the court papers rather than send them through the post as anybody would do so normally. I entertained myself avoiding this process server. I would then agree to turn up at an appointed time and place to be served but then fail to do so. This meant more cost for her and more frustration for her.

My evasion of her attempts at service resulted in her securing an order for substituted service and one evening the papers and the accompanying order for this method of service to be effective were shoved into the letter box by my gate. I read through the papers and scoffed at the allegations. Whilst tempted to handle the dispute myself I decided I would instruct my own lawyers and purposefully chose an expensive outfit, far superior to the local hacks hire by Elizabeth. I attended my first meeting with a partner in the firm (I was not being fobbed off with some junior solicitor, I wanted the head of commercial litigation in this City firm acting for me) and issued my instructions.

“I know all about risk, costs and so on so save your breath. You are to defend this claim, counterclaim against her and then delay and prevaricate at every step of the way. Seek extensions, deliberately delay responding to letters, send incomplete material and look to frustrate the process. Do not go so far as to incur an interim cost order against me, that will cause her to think that she has met with a measure of success and that is unacceptable. I do not care about your bill, I can easily afford it, but I want her wracking up a large bill so she gives up. Understand?”

The partner smiled the cold grin of a legal shark and nodded. He was my kind of man.

Thereafter my lawyers delayed in acknowledging the claim until the last moment. They sought an extension for the defence and counterclaim and then another. When Elizabeth refused the third request, my lawyers applied to court and obtained it. She sought an extension when filing her defence to my counterclaim. We agreed, since it slowed the matter down. My lawyers filed requests for further information about her caseand then more. We slowed down disclosure, released ours in a piecemeal fashion and pored over her disclosure lists and sought additional documents and launched further applications against Elizabeth. We sought documentation from third parties and made applications against those parties in order to delay the provision of witness evidence. Oddly enough, several of the witnesses she wanted to rely on became unco-operative to her and the threats of witness summonses against them merely caused them to dig their heels in.

Throughout  this we suggested mediation and then changed our minds and then changed our minds again. This caused a hiatus in the litigation. We would not accept their suggested mediators and we kept changing the ones we wanted, so we decided a court had to make that decision. More cost and delay. We chopped and changed our dates of availability and then agreed a date which we then altered at the last minute owing to unforeseen circumstances. Then the mediator became unavailable (he was an accountant who suddenly found himself instructed on a different matter- I wonder whose company did that?) so a new one had to be appointed so we went through the rigmarole of all that once again. The costs mounted and mounted, they were of little consequence to me, but they soon outstripped what Elizabeth was claiming.

The mediation was fruitless. I spent most of my time engaging with the attractive trainee solicitor from the firm engaged by Elizabeth and drawing some rather pleasant if unexpected supply from her. We were never going to settle and made outrageous demands of them throughout.

The litigation resumed as we moved towards the preparation of forensic accountant reports and lay witness statements. Then there was silence from the opposition. Three years had elapsed from the commencement of proceedings. Her solicitors came off the record as acting for her and nobody replaced them. She was now acting in person. Her funds had been exhausted and nobody was willing to act on a conditional basis.

Bit by bit her demands lowered and lowered and lowered until just recently she suggested that we adopt a drop hands basis, namely she bears her costs and I bear mine and that is it. After delaying my response I decided that this was entirely acceptable, after all, there was a huge risk if it went to trial that I would lose and be stung for her claim, interest and costs. That did not trouble me, it was the fact of losing to her that did. I instructed my solicitors to accept her proposal, draw up the relevant consent order and have it signed and then I sent her a note.

“Dear Elizabeth,

I recall the last time we spoke on the telephone you demanded money for your idiotic investment and declared you would “see me in court”. You never had a chance of getting me into a court room for the trial of this case. I always win.

Regards

HG”

 

46 thoughts on “See You In Court

  1. mommypino says:

    HG, what type of Empath was Elizabeth?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A defeated one.

      1. mommypino says:

        Ok, I understand. I hope that my question didn’t annoy you. I was trying to figure out if this is considered a Supernova or not and I know that only Super Empaths do Supernova so I asked what she is. I’m just trying to understand what a Supernova is. Although I understand that her lawsuit was frivolous, so that probably means that she wasn’t that empathic to do something like that. I hate frivolous lawsuits and people that do that.

        I can’t wait to read The Cliff!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No you did not annoy me, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your understanding.

      2. mommypino says:

        Thank you so much HG!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Pleasure.

  2. Eva says:

    These were the words my horrific ex-neighbour used to say.
    “See you in court, off you go”, taunting us while he was painting our property.
    But of course I wouldn’t dream of going to court with him.
    I sold it to immigrants instead.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hilarious.

  3. Ali says:

    Oh dear god what have I done? I had papers served on the ex last Friday. I don’t think this is the proper place to explain why but now I am terrified.

    1. Anm says:

      Ali,
      In my opinion, it comes down to
      1: how invested a narcissist is at winning. Miracles happen, and sometimes a narcissist will lose interest or even lose their case; or they they will go the opposite direction, spend $10,000 on an attorney to get out of a $6,000 responsibility because they do not want to be held accountable and want to win.
      2. Who is enabling them. Does a narcissist have a fan club, a significant other, or bull dog attorney? In my case, our case is protracted, my ex narc has switched attorneys unroll he found one who aligns with his mission and delusions

      1. HG Tudor says:

        The drivers for the behaviour are actually explained in ‘Why Are The Arguments Never Resolved’.

  4. SMH says:

    HG, This is what Trump does too, as I am sure you know. Are you in finance?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have interest in that field.

      1. SMH says:

        I thought so. A shark! Do you think there is any sort of correlation between increasing wealth inequality, the emergence of the 1% and the incidence of NPD? Just curious.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I think there will be some connection SMH, yes, the extent of the strength of the correlation of course will be difficult to ascertain.

          1. SMH says:

            Yes very difficult, which brings me back to the West vs East Germany thing in that BBC interview as they basically tried to test it. It stuck with me. Capitalism vs collectivism.

  5. marinathemermaid3 says:

    And seriously people, STOP BREEDING! The world is over populated as it is! How is it not narcissistic to think that you have to put more of your DNA out there, especially when it’s merged with a sociopath?

  6. marinathemermaid3 says:

    Has it ever occurred to any of you that you are just displacing H.G. for your ex narc?
    I’m relatively new to this site, and I do get valuable information here, but it seems that H.G. has a bunch of groupies, minions if you will. He can do no wrong for a bunch of you. Ummmmm…don’t you get it??? Aren’t you repeating past patterns?
    KNOW THYSELF.

    1. SMH says:

      Dear Ms. Mermaid3, we are all aware of a certain amount of displacement and we do talk about it amongst ourselves. HG does do wrong – all the time – but that does not interfere with what happens here for us. Try it. You might like it. (For some reason I am in a snarky mood.)

    2. Anm says:

      Marina,
      No one wakes up and says, “today, I think I shall get involved with a sociopath, or have their offspring.” It happens though. It becomes an uphill battle not out of selfishness, or narcissistic needs, but to fight to make sure the children are ok. There are an infinite amount of Narcissistic Abuse recovery groups/advice forums out there. I choose HG’s advice, and to interact with his readers, because it resonates the most to me. I respect your opinions and input, and hope you also understand that many are here to better themselves, and lives.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Well put. HG approves.

    3. Alma Jazzmin says:

      Totally agree…

    4. NarcAngel says:

      MM3
      Maybe you could ease in a little and read a bit, get a feel for the place, see that you have not raised anything new or that we are not aware of. THEN you may have a different view, and if not, let it fly, but right now you are just running around banging loudly on a pot and we are most of us covering our ears to the offensive noise.

    5. Sam Silver says:

      Marina, I empathize with the individuals on here who have been hurt by narcs, but displacing H.G. as a fill in for the person who hurt them is just not something that I can go along with. Unlike the vast majority of narcs, H.G. is providing the “valuable information” you yourself describe getting from his blog for free. Yes, most of us are grateful to him for providing clarity and insight about his kind, and yes, H.G. has cultivated a lot of goodwill and well wishers by doing this. However, he has NOT created a group of criminals or amoral groupies in this website who worship his every command to my knowledge, and I see no evidence in this thread to come to such a dramatic and terrifying conclusion. Being a mermaid, I hope you jump through waves the way you jump to conclusions… by taking huge flying leaps.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Well put.

  7. Anm says:

    My daughters father is like this in court. He loves it. He is an upper lesser with hidden assets/cash. He quit working for months and sat around the house, so that he looked poor going into court. He told our judge a ton of false and disparaging tales about me to drag out our court proceedings, or we have to settle in mediation. We are hopefully settling soon, but I will probably be paying him child support to get him to settle. Money+fuel =winning to him.

    1. marinathemermaid3 says:

      Are you kidding? You will pay him for child support? Yes money would definitely equal winning to anyone, not just a sociopath. For the sake of your child,.don’t be a chump in court.

      1. Anm says:

        Money doesn’t equal winning for me. I’m willing to temporarily pay every month, for him to move on, and leave my daughter to me.

    2. marinathemermaid3 says:

      Im.pretty sure money plus nothing will equal winning to anyone. So You will pay Him child support? How is that good for you or your child?

  8. Starscape says:

    Its not weak or pathetic. If you could you would too. when money is no object you can make your dreams come true. this is chess not checkers.

  9. Nika says:

    I have never even had a speeding ticket. I love Police Officers, Firefighters, First Responders, Rescue Workers, Animal Activists, Humanitarians, and the Military. They are everyday Heroes!

  10. Nunya says:

    You make me sick …. you are weak and pathetic and would suit my ex Narc as a great confidante. I will see him in court and will send a thank you to you for pushing me to see this out. GFY

    1. Sam Silver says:

      Nunya, attacking H.G. may provide him tertiary fuel, ultimately frustrating your desire to up end him in some way. HG is not your ex or his confidante. In fact, he is OUR confidante, and that’s what makes this blog so worthwhile. What HG described to us in detail is the cold calculating precision of high functioning narcissistic personality disorder. The high functioning nature of the character in the story and his illness combined to keep him largely insulated from what would otherwise be perceived as a gigantic time waste and emotional energy drain. As H.G.’s story illustrates, fighting a deeply personal courtroom battle with those who have this illness is dangerous because they enjoy the battle, adhere to no rules, and will heap abuse upon you at every turn. You proceed to court at your own peril, Nunya, so this issue may be worth re-examining once your emotions have cooled off. If you still choose to go to court, for your sake, I hope you’re only facing a lesser narc, or a lower mid-range. Sending positive vibes your way, SS

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Balanced and constructive.

      2. Anm says:

        Sam S, very reasonable advice

      3. marinathemermaid3 says:

        Really? Doesn’t seem to me like”positive vibes”.

      4. wissh says:

        SS
        Very well summarized. I learned from both you and HG and while I’m no longer entangled with a narc and hope to never again be, I’ll definitely remember this and pass it along should the subject arise. Thanks HG and Sam.

      5. flutterbymorpho says:

        Are these just stories then, to illustrate? Not actual happenings /events that are true? So this actual scenario isn’t real with a lady called Elizabeth? It’s made up to show what could happen, the sort of thing that does happen and how a narc mind works?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No, they are events.

      6. flutterbymorpho says:

        Thanks for clarifying HG.. I thought they were all real..but then got a bit confused by wordings in another post. 🙂

    2. Laurie says:

      Hello Nunya. Getting angry with HG is a fruitless exercise because you need to reserve your energies for your own battles ahead.
      HG is actually educating people on the perils of getting entangled with a Narcissist.
      I wish you healing and I hope that you get some sort of redress with your Narc ex…..but please be careful………these people are the masters of lies and deception, and going in to battle with a Narc, especially a high grade Narc, is not to be taken lightly. You need a cool, clear head, good luck.

    3. kathy0720 says:

      If he makes you sick don’t come here.

    4. Nika says:

      Nunya, it seems like you are getting a bit of a lashing for speaking your mind, but in my opinion, your response is healthy and normal. Being repulsed by a Sociopath is “ceasing the power” in a way that worshipping a Sociopath just doesn’t seem to do. And, those who are affected in this manner, as you are, after reading Tudor’s posts are actually showing their appreciation of his dramatic writings. So, I think your response should get a thumbs-up.
      👍 👍 👍

    5. nunya biz says:

      Hmm…I just saw this. I hope it’s obvious it’s not me, irrespective of my opinion

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Nunya Biz

        Haha. I didn’t think it was you. It happens sometimes that people pick the same name. I was shocked one day to see someone on here using my real life name and I paid close attention to what they were saying, but it turns out it wasn’t me after all. Made me laugh though.

      2. nunya biz says:

        Oh thank you! Phew it really bugged me cuz I thought it was weird and also I wouldn’t say that particular thing and I figured people would think I did.

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