The Narcissist Online : The Somatic

the-narcissist-online

 

How do you spot a Somatic Narcissist online?

I have explained before how the advancements in technology have created a haven for our kind. The internet has become a prime hunting ground for all schools and all cadres of narcissist. From social media to dating websites to chatrooms, the existence of cyberspace has created so many opportunities for us to target and hunt down our victims. Not only that, technology has extended our reach, allowed us to target multiple victims, remain in contact with scores of prospects and do so at any time from nearly any part of the world. It is little wonder that our kind cruise, shark-like, through cyberspace, seeking our victims.

There is much to be said for you staying away from the internet. Not only are you closing down various avenues for the narcissist you have just banished through no contact, to prevent hoovers, you are also reducing the risk of being ensnared by another one. However, the internet and all of its accoutrements are regular fixtures in most people’s lives and therefore such blanket avoidance is not only impractical it may not be desired. Why should you let our kind force you into no longer enjoying the benefits of the information superhighway?

Accordingly, you wish to maintain a presence in cyber space and so you must adopt a position of vigilance. I have detailed previously the ways in which we look for our victims through the various portals of the internet, the types of behaviour, the profiles, the postings and the engagements which not only show you are susceptible to being seduced but highlight your empathic traits so you have a neon light above you, drawing us to you. How about you being in a position to spot our kind when we are on the internet? This is clearly a worthwhile skill to hone as part of your Narcdar, in identifying us.

One of the most prominent places that this identification takes place is with regards to dating websites and it is there that I shall show you what you ought to be looking out for in two distinct stages. The first is the type of indicators that you might see on the profile page of our kind on a dating website. The second are the tells that occur when you first engage with our kind on such a website when you begin the excitement of flagging your interest and exchanging messages. I will therefore detail the indicators in these two stages which you ought to be aware of so that you can determine whether the person is one of our kind and therefore you can dodge the bullet, escape the tendril and evade the narcissist.

Keep in mind that these are indicators, two or three is nothing to be concerned about. Yes, this shows that there are narcissistic traits in evidence but once it goes beyond three of these indicators you need to become wary. The more indicators there are, the more likely it is that this person in cyberspace is a narcissist and you are skirting on the edge of being seduced.

Let us begin with the Somatic Narcissist. The Somatic Narcissist is one of the four cadres and is generally defined as a narcissist who has a pre-occupation with appearance, looks, material possessions, sex, status and the earnings of himself and those around him. What should you be aware of when you are working your way through those dating profiles and what should you pay heed to should you commence in messaging somebody on these sites to determine whether this person is more likely than not a Somatic Narcissist ?

  1. In respect of a male somatic narcissist the profile picture will show the individual bare-chested to show off his physique. In the case of a female narcissist the picture will be glamorous with the narcissist made-up, pouting and quite possibly utilising a professionally taken picture. In both sexes the photo may also show the individual next to an expensive or flash-looking car, undertaking some kind of adrenaline pursuit, such as flying through the air on a mountain bike or a grinning shot as the individual parachutes from a plane or the picture will be of the individual against the backdrop of a chasm or a luxurious beach.
  2. If the profile contains more than nine additional pictures as well as the profile picture, this is an indicator of a somatic narcissist. Pay attention to the individual striking the same pose in each picture such as the man flexing his muscles to show off his ‘guns’, adopting a Usain Bolt stance, pouting or standing with one hand on hip. These are all indicators.
  3. If the pictures only have the profile holder in them, this is a further indicator.
  4. There will be no mention of having been single for some time, looking for love for a period of time or anything to denote that the individual has been alone.
  5. The individual will make mention of his or her employment, job position and/or earning capacity in the profile text. If the site provides a bracket for the individual’s earning to be entered, they will be and they will be listed in six figures whether this is true or not.
  6. The individual will not make mention of wanting to engage in pursuits such as staying in and getting cosy by the fire, going for romantic walks, watching films together. These are regarded as vanilla and boring by the somatic narcissist. An absence of mentioning these things is an indicator. If phrases such as those above are included, this is a downward indicator.
  7. The somatic narcissist will make reference to various interests which will include outdoor pursuits, adrenaline fix pursuits, attendance at a gym, sports and anything which denotes the pursuit of competitive physical excellence. If there are references to winning events such as an Iron Man Triathlon, running the New York marathon or similar this is a double indicator.
  8. There will be repeated reference to travel. Specifically, look out for reference to exotic beach holidays and holidays which involve pursuits such as ski-ing, trekking, kayaking around islands and such like. There is unlikely to be mention of places where one might undertake sight-seeing of landmarks and such like. The somatic narcissist is there to be the sight seen, not to sight see.
  9. If there are references to where the individual lives in terms of an upmarket area as opposed to the region or city, references to the size and style of accommodation or reference to additional places where the individual lives, these are indicators.
  10. If the profile states that the individual dislikes lazy people, people who do nothing, out of shape people etc. this is a firm indicator. The somatic narcissist has no concern about letting people know what he does not like and his lack of tact will mean that it will be rude and disparaging.
  11. If the profile makes reference to sexual prowess of proficiency this is a firm indicator also. Again, the somatic narcissist is unlikely to apply tact to the situation and is content to brag about such matters.
  12. References to shopping, shoe collections, extensive technology collections, record collections, trainer collections and similar are also indicators.
  13. The profile of a somatic narcissist is likely to make reference to nights out at glamorous places, going to bars, wanting to be seen, mixing with people and such like.
  14. If the individual references somebody famous in their profile either purporting to know them or quoting from that individual – who is likely to be a sports person – this is an additional indicator.
  15. Re-read the profile. If you read it back and immediately hear the voice of someone talking quickly as if pumped up on adrenaline and Red Bull, with exhortations of ‘yeah’, ‘hell’ and ‘woo’ whilst a fist pump or a high five is being delivered, this is a considerable warning sign.
  16. The profile of the somatic narcissist will be 90 per cent about him or her with a smaller section reserved for what he or she does not want and also what he or she is looking for. The looking for section will be up front about wanting someone who is physically attractive and engages in similar activities. This is actually paying lip service to considering the other person. The somatic narcissist IS the draw and really is not overly interested in what the other person does. Not at this stage.

The more indicators you identify from this profile and its accompanying pictures, the higher the likelihood that this individual is a somatic narcissist.

If you engage with somebody on a dating website and exchange messages, then you should be aware of the following indicators which all evidence that you are engaging with a somatic narcissist.

  1. They will respond quickly to your messages. They will also badger you if you have not answered their message promptly. If there has been a flurry of messaging, then you have slowed in your response times and you have been badgered to respond, when you do respond there is silence, the somatic narcissist has moved on to a different target and you have been forgotten about. Understand that all narcissists using such sites will have multiple prospects in order to maximise both fuel and the opportunities of ensnaring suitable prey and anyone who fails to keep up with the pace will be left behind.
  2. Expect messages to be short and to the point. The lesser somatic will use text speak a lot. The mid-range and greater less so, but their messages will not be long or flowery.
  3. You will be asked for your mobile number and offered his or hers within five exchanges.
  4. You will be asked direct questions about your profile pictures. Is it you? Is it a recent picture? Where was it taken?
  5. You will be sent bare chest and dick pictures by the male somatic, topless and bottom pictures by the female somatic, whilst you will be repeatedly pressed to reciprocate.
  6. The content of the messages will become sexual between five and ten exchanges. If mobile numbers have been exchanged expect to engage in sexting and talking dirty down the phone to one another. This will be wanted or engaged in before any suggestion of a date has taken place.
  7. The somatic narcissist will appear to be interested in you experiencing his or her pursuits ‘I would love to take you rock climbing, you will really enjoy it’ or ‘We could go camping and do some hunting, it will be a blast.’ There will be an assumption that you will enjoy it. The somatic narcissist may appear encouraging by offering to instruct you, teach you etc. so this appears that they are kind and taking an interest. This is being done purely to show that they are an expert and to test your credentials to be their victim by ascertaining whether you have the right class traits.
  8. You can expect to be asked your opinion about various matters which are of value to the somatic narcissist. What you do for a living, how much you earn, where you live, where you holiday, what type of car you drive, what you think of certain places, what you think of certain famous people. This may appear like taking an interest in your preferences. It is being done to garner information to ensure that you accord with the somatic class traits and to mine for intelligence which can then be used to mirror and seduce once the somatic narcissist is satisfied that you are a decent prospect worth expending further time and energy on. Do not expect to be asked about books, art, religion, politics, economics, current affairs or similar matters. If you engage in a conversation using those topics you will witness the topic being shut down and moved to something else in order to return to relevant somatic topics.
  9. The somatic will appear very keen and enthusiastic but it will border on pushy in terms of wanting replies, wanting pictures and wanting to meet up. You are likely to put it down to being very interested in you and the somatic narcissist will only confirm that to be the case if challenged. He or she is keen to draw fuel from your messages but even keener to move to meeting you and this will be pushed for quickly, in around ten or so exchanges and within just a day of making contact.

A significant aggregate of these indicators both from the profile and the subsequent engagement will tell you readily enough that you have been interacting with a somatic narcissist and therefore you should heed all these red flags before meeting the individual concerned, since doing so means you will become at a far greater risk of being successfully seduced in person.

Advertisements

17 Comments

  1. Hello, HG! How are you? You were right. He hoovered anyway, despite the huge narcissistic injury I caused him. Wow! It’s unbelievable!
    I have a very important question to you: WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT adrenochrome – C9H9NO3? It’s a chemical that is produced when the adrenaline gets oxidated. The little children and the young women produced more adrenochrome (and more pure). When the person is tortured she produces adrenaline and cortisol – when the adrenaline gets oxidation = adrenochrome. Adrenochrome can be harvested via air, no problem. As every hormone. The lesser Narc harvests adrenochrome when he beats his wife, the Great Narc finds more sophisticated ways – even from distance.
    Some persons (psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists) learn from very early age how to harvest the adrenochome produced by their victims. Those persons get high on adrenochrome. Adrenochrome has tremendous euphoric effects – the best drug ever!

    I spend more than an year investigating the problem. And yes, there IS a material carrier of the narcissistic pleasure – it’s adrenochrome. It’s not only the emotional reward the narc gets from their victims.

  2. My last narc boyfriend met online. He was a military officer in a wetsuit very sexy. But he was also a mid-ranger. Kinda confusing he wasn’t bling but did have lots of things.

  3. I get rid of the cerebral and the somatics come… Good grief Charlie Brown. Atleast I’m not thinking about the MMRN. If it wasn’t such a blow to my ego I would thank my lucky stars I don’t attract an elite. I’d be up shit’s creek. Empathic dating site? Bueller??

  4. Have you watched the Fyre Fraud documentary, HG?
    Clearly one of the greatest con artists, clearly a narcissist with no accountability, responsibility, completely delusioned …
    Also about social media, … and how he created a huge illusion.
    Sadly also about how other people went along with it, and wanting to believe in the illusion, but also about keeping working with him, even when it became clear, that it was a bad idea.

    1. I haven’t but I know it was released just recently and Netflix have a different film about it to. It certainly smacks of a narcissist at the centre and I shall have to watch it, thank you. At the moment I am looking forward to watching Vice – with Bale, Carrel, Marsan, Adams and Rockwell appearing the Shieldmaiden and I are very much looking forward to watching it.

  5. So pardon my ignorance H.G. I’m a bit confused. The kind of guys that you are describing to avoid are the kind of guys that I am assuming most empatic people aren’t going to be attracted to. Shallow and materialistic driven people are generally not even on my radar.
    The narc that was in my life (I refuse to label him as “my narc”) was neither showy not glammy. That is what made him so appealing. That is why I was attracted to him. He was unassuming. Didn’t stand out. Didn’t like to be in a spotlight.
    Of course him being a part of the local organized gang stalking syndicate may have played a part in that.
    While I appreciate the knowledge you offer and the pov of “your kind”, I also see things for what they are. I know better than to stand too close. It is necessary, with “your kind” to remain objective from a distance. Like the snake in ”The Jungle Book”. No eye contact.
    It was his ability to remain unseen on a daily basis. Just an ordinary guy living his life. I believe he’s a mid-range. He, and his lieutenants make the mistake of thinking that because I read your blog and pose questions on Quora that I am not over him. They can think what they want. I read and follow you because understanding and knowledge make the playing field more level. I believe that understanding you, the words you say, the manipulations you utilize, and most importantly, the words you don’t say are the key.
    Here’s what I don’t understand; you need fuel from people. Call them what you like, appliances, fuel, whatever. Still people. Yes, you run through them like lions to gazelles. Yet, you NEED them. You will implode without them and the fuel you get from them.
    I, as an introvert and empath do not need you nor your kind. Right now, I suppose I could say that I am obtaining fuel from you. I want the insight that you have to offer. I Do not need it.
    Yes, I suffered. And how, Spanky. My suffering ends with me evolving into a better understanding of myself. A richer quality of life that I’m sure you will never know. Which is sad, albeit reality. My suffering ends with my decision to not suffer.
    Your suffering will never end. The suffering you affect on other people will weigh on you like rocks tied to your feet at the bottom of a lake.
    I believe that is why my kind falls for your kind. We feel your suffering underneath the carefully crafted masks. We want to heal it. We want you to know the richness and inner peace that eludes you and we believe that love is the fix all. Normally, love is enough. It saddens me greatly that you will never feel it. It is beautiful.

    1. You do not need us but you want us for reasons already explained. As for my suffering, where am I suffering? As I have explained many times before I move forward – I do not sit weeping over a lost love, I do not survey the shattered dream of a broken relationship, I do not sit in torment. Yes I have an everlasting need for fuel but that does not cause me to suffer ( I accept some of our kind have less well ordered lives and therefore they do experience particular downsides) . I also agree that the Mid Range Narcissist that presents as the tortured soul, the lost child, the broken individual certainly does appeal to the empath. Further even a narcissist which does not play on such things will present to an empath as broken in some way and again appeals to that empathic trait of the desire to fix and heal as explained in Sitting Target. Not every empath wants to do that, but many do.

    2. “He, and his lieutenants make the mistake of thinking that because I read your blog and pose questions on Quora that I am not over him.”

      That is what they do. It works.

    3. Kim,
      The Somatic I was involved with, knew how to mirror me enough to keep me engaged, and then hooked. My first impression of him, was that he was arrogant, but he gave money to the poor while we were on our first dates, claimed to be a “humanitarian” , listened to what stressed me out, and riding around in his convertible BMW was therapeutic. Now that I know what he is, I can’t even stand to listen to him speak a sentence without cringing of his shallowness. I’m curious about your mention of organized gang stalking, and what your experience was. Only if you are safe to share, and it is within the forum rules.

Vent Your Spleen!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.