There comes a time when this must happen to everybody who has been ensnared by us. There is no hope for anything different. In the way that the world keeps on turning and the planets waltz around the sun, we will always cast you to one side. Of the many cruelties which we exact against you, this ranks as one of the worst. You might think that it is a blessing that the daily machinations and manipulations have ended but you will not see it that way when you are discarded. Indeed, you may not ever realise it.

You are given no warning that you are about to be dis-engagement from, although if you know to look for them, there are actually signs that point to what is about to happen. Invariably you are unable to see them because you cannot see or think clearly for the maelstrom that continues to rage around you. There are times when the dis-engagement takes place that it is almost as if we have vanished into thin air. Yesterday we met you for lunch as normal and today you have no idea where we are. You have telephoned but our number is no longer in service. You call our work but you are told that we are unavailable as our assigned gatekeeper keeps you at bay. You wait around trying to catch a glimpse of us in order to speak with us and find out what is going on. You see hide nor hair of us and rather than be angry you are worried and concerned both for us and our relationship, or at least what was once our relationship. This form of the dis-engagement is swift and brutal. Here yesterday and gone today. We put in place a ring of steel which we will not allow you to penetrate. When this form of dis-engagement has been effected you are actually receiving a double whammy of dis-engagement and an absent silent treatment. This is designed to reinforce like a hammer blow that you are no longer of any use to us. We do not want to see you, we do not want to hear from you and we do not want to read your e-mails, messages and texts. At least not yet. This form of dis-engagement arises because we have already replaced you. We have found a new primary source of fuel and he or she is a thousand times better than you. We have brought down the shutters, raised the drawbridge and built our castle walls thick and high as we now sit in the throne room with our new, wonderful and perfect primary source by our side. You have been struck from the record, deleted and erased. We do not want you distracting us from this most precious person that we have found.

The truth is that the memory of us being linked to you irritates and infuriates us. We thought that you were the one who would supply us with positive fuel always. Despite the other failures that had gone before you, you showed such promise and we gave you everything in order to seduce you. Now you are placed on the appliance pile and broken, of no current use to us. You let us down and we bristle at the thought that we even considered you might be of use to us. Your failure and the fact we chose you means that we feel criticised and the ignition of our fury results in a cold fury that creates this icy hinterland that we place between you and us. We want nothing more to do with you. Until we decide of course it is time to hoover you. This sudden and unexplained cessation of the relationship is only temporary. We will look to reinstate it at some point in order to extract hoover fuel from you, but you do not know this. All you know is that we were once there and no we are no longer and it hurts. Your soul has been wrenched from within you. It does not matter how badly we hurt you, you still wanted that golden period and our sudden departure has denied that from ever happening again, or at least that is what you are led to believe. Your pain is absolute, combined with the confusion and bewilderment.

Another way in which we cast you to one side is akin to being repeatedly dunked in a barrel of icy water. Each time your dunking lasts a little longer and you fear you cannot hold your breath any longer and this time this is it, you are on your way out, only for us to haul you out and that sweet and precious air fills your lungs, if only for an instance before you are thrust back into the water. During that interlude, as the water cleared from your eyes and you gulped great lungfuls of air you saw someone else stood by our side, watching you with a look of curiosity on their face. This is your replacement but we have not yet decided that they are to replace you as we are giving you the chance to prove yourself and provide some further fuel before we push you away and leave you spluttering and gasping on the ground beside the barrel. We never finish you off. That would be pointless. We always need to come back, not that you will realise that as you lie panting and shaking on the ground, cold and soaked, watching as we stroll away, our arm around the new prospect. This steady and controlled dis-engagement takes place as we lose interest in you but we have no desire to make our departure sudden and swift. We want to hedge our bets as we firm up our arrangements with your replacement, fine-tuning that seduction as we continue to extract fuel from you through this dunking. We push and pull, toying with your emotions. This is not part of the devaluation even though we exhibit a similar behaviour during that time when we denigrate you and then grant respite. No, this is different. When this is undertaken in an accelerated fashion then you know that it is a form of dis-engagement. We may give you a week of hell and then several weeks of the golden period before hell again. That is the push and pull of devaluation. When this technique is applied as discard it is disorientating as one day is fine and the next is not and then fine again. You feel like you are being figuratively bludgeoned and as you try and get your bearings you stagger across the boxing ring away from us only to meet another opponent who continues the beating and then sends you on your way to the next one.

These are just two forms of the way we will discard you. Why do we do it? As ever it is all about fuel. With the first it is because we have new and brilliant fuel and no longer wish to be reminded about your faltering and weak fuel. In the second we have not yet confirmed that the new source is as potent as we require and in the meanwhile we decide to continue to extract further fuel from you as your severance from us takes place in typical salami-slicing fashion. In every entanglement with our kind you will eventually be discarded. You won’t see it coming but it is always in the post, coming along the highway, wending its way towards you.

Don’t be too concerned though. No dis-engagement is for ever. We always come back for more.

20 thoughts on “Offload

  1. W says:

    Ok I’ve been off playing for a while and I’m really trying to catch up here
    First off, who is this JG dude/chick suddenly, and why do they speak like the Nigerian prince that wants to email money to me
    Secondly, who’s the “Shieldwitch”? (Did I get that right? Shieldwitch?) SOMEONE pls catch me up , it’ll take AGES to track this down in comments.

    HG even tho I’m not on here as often, I assure u I am devouring your ebooks, researching your YouTube videos, etc . Daily.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is Shieldmaiden, my girlfriend/IPPS.

      1. W says:

        Ah crap! I’ve forgotten if you had an IPPS when I found this blog ?( just over a year ago I’d say?)
        Shieldmaiden .
        So I’m guessing still the golden period ?
        As a … what is it…not just upper greater elite but something else…ULTRA- as an Ultra Greater, you’re obv aware the golden period will end? How do you reconcile that with the whole deal? Or no ?-you think she’s the Eternal Fuel source or?
        How fascinating . Ok one more quick Q if you are willing – have u enlightened her as to what you are or is it same old?
        Thanks dude !! Damn I can’t believe I missed this

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There was a different IPPS throughout the majority of the life of this blog, that individual was in the phase of devaluation and respite periods.

        2. K says:

          You will find most of the answers to your questions when you read through those threads.

          The former IPPS was Kim (persona non grata) and HG is in the Embedded Golden Period (when a Formal Relationship is established) with his girlfriend the Shieldmaiden.

          If I recall correctly, Kim was still in the GP in the fall of 2016.

      2. W says:

        Ok I perused enough to get one answer – no she doesnt know what you are
        Ok so— do u still have hope she’s the “One” or has your awareness eroded that and if so…how does that affect the whole dynamic ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          She is The One but this is viewed in a different way than previously.

          1. MB says:

            I’ve seen the shift HG.

          2. Contagion says:


            Actually you haven’t due to the fact you have never witnessed HG in an initial “golden period” is it different from the others I doubt this, now is he approaching things differently then before, he says he is and I have no doubt he is to which could bring about a different outcome then what has in the past.

            Your seeing him from being in a devaluation/respite with an IPPS to initial “golden period” with an IPPS.

            Now you may see this as a shift, I don’t he is still the same HG as when I first “met” him.

          3. MB says:

            Contagion, I should have said I “feel” a shift. Not “see”. I expanded on this feeling in a comment to NA earlier today. It’s only my interpretation of the feeling I have and HGs comment about The One confirmed to me that there was something to it. It isn’t related to past golden periods or devaluations of formers. It is related to how it was thought/hoped it would go with the new dynamic vs the path that is actually beginning to take shape.

          4. Dragonfly says:

            Why does the movie Ground Hog’s Day starring Bill Murray automatically comes to mind??

      3. Lori says:


        While I think all of us want this to be the one for you, how can that be ? I realize with your awareness you are able to control and mange some of your negative behavior but you can’t control it 24/7 it will eventually seep out once the infatuation phase wears off and it’s going to wear off that’s just biology. You are going to wake up one morning all that excitement is going to be gone and real life is going to settle in. What then? You still have the need for fuel.

        How can this possibly workout if you still need fuel? I feel the only way this could work out is if you healed and no longer needed the fuel. Can you elaborate on this?

    2. K says:

      Ha ha ha…I loved your comment, thanks for the laugh. These links will help you catch up with HG’s girlfriend and go on HG’s Instagram, too.

      There are 463 comments on this thread so use control+F or command+F (mac) and type: new dynamic into the search bar on the upper right or keyword: ShieldMaiden. That should make it easier for you to find the relevant comments.

      Do the same on this link because there are 146 comments.

      1. W says:

        Ah Christ this is gonna take a week. Ok thanks !! I’ll try to catch up.

      2. K says:

        My pleasure W
        Ha ha ha… enjoy the reading!

  2. J.G says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    Honey, I’m waiting for you here. But you’re going to regret it. Because you are going to suffer many criticisms…
    Always yours with my unconditional and eternal love.
    When you feel that the world is coming to an end, don’t hesitate to look for me.
    If he says to me: do you still love me? I will answer him; Yes, how far? Even your greatest defects, not to feel affection.
    I will go away and leave it portrayed, after these words.
    And if he asks why?
    I will answer him: That you are defective affection, does not mean that this crazy. hahahaha.
    Always for you, my unconditional and eternal love, which are words that the wind takes away. And like the wind I go where I have come, with fresh wind I go… jajajjjja.

    1. J.G says:

      Tudor, it is true, that words that cost little and that little energy is needed sound good.
      I’m becoming a narcissist and I don’t feel any kind of empathy for my ex-narcissist. I could be run over by a train, be dismembered by the train and not be immute, because it is not human, it is a rubber doll.
      It’s a shame to devalue him so much, because I think I’m becoming like him, and this is really sad, but liberating.

      1. J.G says:

        Could I be an undercover narcissist on a codependent doormat? I don’t even know what I am anymore. Either that or I have a great sense of humour. jajajajajaaj

  3. Michelle says:

    Makes me sad for the children, why do narcissist ( the ones who like to trap them by not wanting them to work so they are financially dependant on them) keep on having more children. I understand the logic/motive but at what point does the narcissist realise he can’t just keep going from women to women and promising babies forever? Because how will they cope with a load of kids to look after at the weekends and more maintenece to pay out each time. Do they just find another way to trap them eventually?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      They don’t because the majority of narcissists operate in the moment. Therefore if conceiving the child is what is necessary in the moment, the narcissist does it, with no regard to what may follow – why – because the narcissist of course has no sense of entitlement and will readily walk away from further involvement and obligation if that is what is required by the narcissism. The narcissist does not ever think ‘I cannot keep going from woman to woman’ because his narcissism will not provide such a concern.

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