Shell Shocked Silence
I was in a consultation with Dr E. We had been discussing the various methods by which I obtained fuel and the conversation had largely been given over to the question of the methods of obtaining negative fuel from those that I had ensnared.
“Tell me,” continued Dr E, ” about one of your favoured states to place a victim in.”
“Tough call that Dr E, I have several.”
“Select one then and tell me about it.”
“I am interested to ascertain what one the states is and in particular what you get from that.”
“Haven’t you been listening? I told you that it is the fuel that I obtain from their emotional reactions, especially the negative ones. That is what I get from these situations.”
“I recognise that but I have seen, through our consultations, that everything you do serves a multiplicity of purposes. Everything of course leads to the harvesting of your fuel but I have seen you gain other things beside your fuel.”
“I have made notes but I do not want to prime you, I want you to describe the situation and then explain to me what you get from it,” pressed Dr E. I sat and regarded him for a moment. I tried to ascertain if he was getting something else from asking me about this. You see, I have worked out that Dr E is a rascal for projecting. He cannot help himself. He will suggest a methodology applicable to me when in fact what he is talking about is a methodology he wishes to apply. In this instance he was trying to get me to talk about the multiple benefits of a given scenario whereas what I knew was that he was getting more from this discussion than just receiving an answer to that question. I know your game Dr E. You think you are smarter than me but you are not. Still, I decided to indulge him. There was no need to let him know that I was on to his method.
“Okay. One of the situations that I like to create is one of a shell shocked silence.” Dr E began to write. I waited for his reaction before proceeding.
“I see. Please explain more to me.”
“Well, we have discussed at length the various manipulative methods that I apply to get fuel which bring about control and the diminution in my target’s capability to resist me. I lower their critical thinking, maximise their isolation and increase their reliance on me. The sustained and repeated application of these techniques often leads down the road to my target being left in a state of shell shock.”
I waited as Dr E continued to make his notes. He scratched his nose and then spoke.
“Do you do anything in particular that brings about this shell shocked state?” he asked.
“It is the culmination of a variety of manipulative techniques but there needs to be a final flourish, something that will tip this person over the edge into their numbed silence.”
“Such as?” he queried.
“Well, I find that a sudden escalation of a certain act or behaviour tends to tip the balance. It might be the violent destruction of something that they love right in front of them that causes them to stand shaking unable to speak. On another occasion I may reveal that I have been engaged in an affair with someone they trusted and felt close to, say a best friend or a family member. I do recall that once I was having sex with Alex and part way through I told her ‘By God Joanne you are so much better at this than Alex’. Truth be told it is really about the build up, the campaign has to be such that any resistance and ability to fight back must be totally eroded so that when this coup de grace is applied they are just plunged into a broken silence.”
“I see but how does silence provide you with fuel?”
“Easily. It is the tortured look on their face that provides me with the fuel, the strangled sob, the look of total and utter defeat in their eyes. Those tears which trickle down their face as they look at me in a mixture of horror and disbelief. I have told you before about how a wildebeest has that strange expression on its face, something between terror and confusion as a lion eats it alive. It is the same there. Bringing about such an expression combined with this silence produces premium fuel.”
I stretch as I savour the memories which flood my mind at the mention of this technique.
“What is it about that reducing this person to such a state that appeals to you beyond this level of fuel that you obtain?” asked Dr E.
“The fact that is demonstrates that I have total hegemonic control over them.”
“Leaving you able to do what?”
“Anything I like. After all, nobody prevents me from doing what I want.”
“By rendering them into this state you remove their capacity to object to whatever you do?” he queried.
“But surely that makes them little more than an automaton and if that is the case how can they be of use to you in such a state? I should have though that they would now be devoid of providing you with the reaction that you require?”
“But this state is a reaction in itself Dr E, it is a pinnacle of the campaign and represents triumph on my part, it exemplifies my supremacy and my power and the desolate eyes, trembling mouth and forlorn expression all amount to a reaction and a satisfying one at that.”
“I see,” said Dr E and he continued to write. I waited for him to finish the sentence in his notebook before he looked at me.
“And of course ultimately there is something else that arises from this shell shocked silence.”
“What is that?” he asked.
“Silence gives consent.”
97 thoughts on “Shell Shocked Silence”
The title of this article, “Shell Shocked Silence” and the last line, “Silence gives consent” remind me for some reason of a conversation that took place with my sister in the recent past. I cannot remember the exact subject matter, which is probably of no interest here. What I do remember is the following:
Sister (with extreme smugness) (no sympathy, which would have been the appropriate response of someone with empathy), “Well, when I get sick, I lay down, get better, then get up – and go back to work.”
Me (angrily), “What do you think – you’re better than me?? When I get sick, I lay down, get better – then get up and punch them between the eyes!! That’s what I do.”
That shell shocked silence is short lived.
Me too MB!!! Sooooo bored! My narc filled a role i really need which is why it’s so hard to go without him. Being a ipss I didn’t get alot of the shitty stuff either. I got his best behavior for the most part. Until I would poke him of course. I too enjoy the shell shock look hehe.
He is a narcissist so fair game in my book mb. They don’t play by the same rules so why should we? Besides he likes it so flirt away!
HG, so it is possible for narcissists to be monogamous?
There are varying forms of infidelity. If you mean can a narcissist not have any sexual relations with someone outside of their relationship with wife/husband/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend throughout the entirety of that relationship – yes, but it is rare.
How do you bring much gladness to them if you have no contact with them? If SM is the only one you need and you see her as your equal. Why would you not free the rest? Does she not give you everything that you need?
I will have contact with them when they are taken off the shelf, in a non-intimate manner.
This is hard for me to understand! I will however understand eventually! Thank you for trying to help HG.
YOu are welcome.
I understand the intimate and non intimate. I just wasn’t understanding your need for keeping the others if you now had the one. Maybe I was thinking to much into this? The dynamic that you are working on at this time is with ipps. Perhaps if all works out as planned you will let the others go? Please bare with me on this next part. Some of it is very sensitive to me and I don’t usually talk about it. Because of our consults you do know HG, but I never discuss it with anyone else. I won’t be able to go into detail, I’m not ready for that at this time. Since I have been everything from ipps, ipss, and every other in between! The one thing I have never done was to go back into an intimate relationship with any of them. I believe because Of the attention that I always sought out as a child because of being left on my own from such an early age, that continued into adulthood I associated being molested at such an early age by so many with that attention. As I got older and it continued, intimacy and love became the same to me. If someone would leave me or shelf me. I would see that as being abandoned by them. The hurt that I felt was unbearable and as this happened time and time again I built up my own way of preventing that hurt from them to happen again. I would move on to another relationship or I would simply refuse to be intimate with them again. I guess that is why I could not understand someone being a ipss being put on a shelf and then if you disengaged from your ipps you would take them from the shelf and they would be able to be intimate with you once again. Don’t you ever find some that do not want that intimacy with you again? I still have so much to learn and so many things about myself to work on. Without you HG I would of never gotten this far! Thank you once again!
The others are kept for fuel. Remember my fuel matrix does not just consist of a primary source and nobody else.
You will not release the shelves because YOU bring THEM gladness?!?
HG, I love you to pieces! You know that. And I am not one to challenge you, but you would have to stamp “VOID” on my HGU degree if I didn’t call bullshit on that one.
And to be clear. I am not saying that you DONT bring them gladness. Of course you do. But their gladness is not the reason for you keeping them there.
Even empaths get tired of strawberry ice cream 24/7.
But they do not get it 24/7 do they? They are on the shelf. Back to school for you!
You missed my point, Sir. I meant that you don’t clear your shelves because YOU will get tired of strawberry ice cream. Not because you are concerned about their “gladness”.
MB I understand what you are saying. But if all works out with HG and SM he will not get bored so there should be no need to even keep different flavors on hand. Does this make sense to you? Because I’m thinking to myself that I just had a large amount of word salad pushed down my throat from the man in power! Lol
FM1T, he will get bored. No matter how talented, beautiful, or brilliant somebody is, their fuel will get stale. I’m afraid that is just the way it is. I wish it were not, but that will not make it so.
I get bored of my SO and I’m not even a narcissist! That was my point in saying even empaths get tired of strawberry ice cream. That’s why I want mine with narc sprinkles sometimes. #dirtyempath
I am learning to apply the One Caress Principle.
HG, the One Caress Principle. That is absolutely precious! ❤️ (Google really is my friend) I sincerely hope you are successful.
I thought One Caress was about Heroin. Lead me into your darkness?
Heroin? 😳 I didn’t get that impression.
Well what empath would be leading anyone into darkness? That doesn’t make sense (to me presently).
NA, I guess I was so hopeful about the “blessed” part, I failed to recognize the “leading into the darkness”. I have this rejection of negativity issue. It’s quite debilitating!
My interpretation: it could be death. I think one can find different meanings.
I’d say, do not take it too literal, NA.
NA and MB, just want to add that I think that the “One Caress Principle” may be this:
When you think you’ve tried every road
Take one more look
At what you found old
And in it you’ll find something new.
Lou, I agree. That’s what I got out of it too. That’s why I thought it was precious. I can take that advice for myself as well.
That is very nice HG.
I was also thinking of the “Clean Principle”.
I like that song.
So do I – I have part of the lyrics framed and on display at Tudor Towers.
That’s it! I’ve been listening to the wrong version of ‘Clean’! Sound familiar y’all? T. Swift knows Narc struggle. (Some research for your Tudoorscope, Sir Tudor)
“The drought was the very worst, ah ah
When the flowers that we’d grown together died of thirst
It was months, and months of back and forth, ah ah
You’re still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can’t wear anymore
Hung my head, as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm
Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That’s when I could finally breathe
And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean
There was nothing left to do, ah ah
When the butterflies turned to dust, they covered my whole room
So I punched a hole in the roof, ah ah
Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you
The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing
Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That’s when I could finally breathe
And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean
I think I am finally clean, ah
Said, I think I am finally clean, ah
Ten months sober, I must admit
Just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it
Ten months older I won’t give in
Now that I’m clean I’m never gonna risk it
That is the wrong version of Clean, MB!
But, but, it’s such a good version! The emotional sea! And none of those weird electronic sounds DM makes.
Curious though, which part of the song (lyrics) do you have framed?
But but my backside!
I will show you when I invite you round for a cup of Earl Grey and a slice of arsenic!
Thank you for the generous invitation, Sir. (Arsenic and all does sound quite lovely.) I shall decline however. I’d rather go on The Kentucky Bourbon Trail with my girls. Much more fun. Your recent monogamy has dashed my interest! Ha ha
MB – hahaha!
WC, I’m serious! It’s kind of like when your favorite, hot actor or singer gets married and is “off the market”. It’s not like you ever had a chance anyway, but somehow, the thrill is gone. My heart broke when George Clooney got married! Ha ha
HG, does it bother you that some of your female followers may lose the “thrill” for you because you are “taken”?
1. I have always been taken throughout the entireity of the operation of this blog.
2. The vast majority of my readers approach what I do here in a constructive manner and yes, many enjoy engaging with me in an intellectual or humorous or sometimes flirtatious manner but do not do so on the basis of forming a romantic relationship with me.
“many enjoy engaging with me in an intellectual or humorous or sometimes flirtatious manner but do not do so on the basis of forming a romantic relationship with me.”
Lou, you so crazy ha ha 😜
HG is brilliant and will always be brilliant in my eyes. As you may know, I was a *former* outrageous flirt. As I said in my earlier post and HG confirmed, I never had a chance. In fact, he wants to delete me with arsenic now! I had fun with a little safe narc flirting, but now find it disrespectful considering the publicity of his current relationship.
You are a valued member of the blog MB and my arsenic remark, as you know, was purely pantomime. You need not worry about your shameless flirting, you are, after all, flesh and blood!
I knew you were kidding about the arsenic HG! I thought it was funny. You make me laugh. No more flirting for me.
I know MB. I enjoy reading your comments and your sense of humour (an your “outrageous flirting”). My question to HG was “triggered” by your comment but I was not thinking of you specifically. It was more a “general” question.
I actually asked HG to ignore it in a second comment because I knew the answer already but it did not work out.
Thank you Lou. I’m glad you “get” me. I do have a fun nature and I worry at times about being misunderstood on the blog.
Ha ha my “thrill” of HG is still the same today as it was the moment I first touch his book. I “see” him the same then as I do today……The Greater Narcissist.
Hmmm no I “see” a change his awareness has grown and he is grabbing hold of what has been within this entire time. It hasn’t change what I think of him he is following his path just as we all are.
Twilight, just read your comment. My mailbox is a mess right now.
I know you appreciate HG
My question had more to do with HG than with us, his female readers. I know narcissists like to be/feel available and seductive because they are constantly searching for fuel. When I read MB”s humorous comment about she losing her “thrill” for HG, I wanted to know if that affected him in any way.
But it was a clumsy question and that’s why I asked him to ignore it.
I didn’t think it a clumsy question at all, and I’m glad that you did, because we gained a little more insight in his response.
I answered from my perspective of your question and understood it was looking for an answer from HG.
I was in one of my rare moods where I just pop off the first thing that comes to mind…..and believe me sometime I have to explain myself in my real life due to shocking others around me.
There was nothing clumsy about what you asked, you were curious.
Thanks Twilight. Yes, I understood you were just giving your POV.
I just wanted to explain my question further in my reply to you to avoid eventual misunderstandings with readers here.
I am always interested in your perspective Twilight.
I have not forgotten you asked me about when I technically died….and my experience.
It is something hard to explain and I need the time to be able to articulate my thoughts….which is rare for me. I work two jobs and help with another group. When I do I will address this.
I just wanted you to know I haven’t forgotten.
Twilight, thanks for letting me know. I thought you had decided not to reply because that was too personal and I was ok with it.
I would still be interested in reading about your experience, if and when you are ready to share.
You work a lot! So take your time.
HG, ignore my previous question. I think you would not be telling us all about the SM if it did.
Keep this TS version of ‘Clean’ handy, HG. “With all due respect” to DM it’s a more well written song and frankly more appropriate when dealing with your kind.
I like it when you say that! “Bollocks” and “jolly good”. It’s a toss up.
Oh MB, I do understand that point! #dirtyempath#dirtylittlesecret#previouscomment#alloftheabove
Well most of us carry insurance, even if it’s term insurance to get over a certain period of time and we no longer feel we need it. I’ll bet there are more than a few here that when purchasing new undergarments, keep a few comfy old reliables they hope not to be wearing if caught in a medical emergency (or god forbid found in their drawer after death).
NA If you go commando you don’t have to worry about the undergarments! 😉🦜 You fucking with me or not?!😘
HG, will your shelved IPSS know that you are in a relationship? Are there some on the shelf that think they are the only one?
Yes, if I choose to tell them, which I have. No.
You stated that SM was promoted to IPPS and was a candidate prior. Am I correct in assuming there where other candidates? Where there hard feelings from the other candidates when you told them about SM? Did this give you fuel or were you annoyed? I am trying to understand the narcissist view of the candidate that didn’t make the cut.
Thanks for your reply HG.
This picture almost looks ghostly.
Don’t get me wrong. I love this blog and i have learned so much! It just seems like a lot of you don’t understand that H.G. is a NARCISSIST!!!! Hello??? Anybody home? That is who he is! The enemy. Remember? The type of person you are trying to escape from??? Its great that he’s sharing all this inside info with us but the fact remains that he IS what he says he is! He doesn’t love you. He is not a kind and decent person. This whole blog is about that! Duh!
Hello marinathemermaid3. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think it was Maya Angelou who said, ‘when a person shows you who they are…believe them’.
Mr. Tudor is showing us who and what he is and we can learn from him, but being shocked and outraged is futile….as you say, he is what he is.
I do see comments on here sometimes that make me wonder if the poster thinks HG isn’t a Narcassist or seem to ‘forget’ his own nature. They make me pause for thought but Meh! Life’s too short! My saviour streak is buckling under it’s own self-imposed strain at the best of times!
I think that’s why we are all fascinated with the HG/SM dynamic because we all know some aspects of the backstory. I stress some because I know from when I share aspects of my life, it is never EVER everything – although people often think they know things and make assumptions based on limited data. I absolutely gaurantee the real dynamic is something completely different and very unique.
No-one wants SM to be hurt, least of all me. I dont think she will be. She’ll be OK. Don’t forget, all of this has taken months of planning. Naturally, that represents a massive investment. HG is probably going to become the most infamous Narcassist on the planet. It’s highly unlikely given her intelligence that he could remain hidden forever although I would also agree with an earlier HG assertion that if/when he does his reveal she will not have fully suspected it beforehand (there would’ve be inkling though) Thus; he would’ve been in control. As always.
I tip my hat to you HG and I hope she brings you as close to happiness as you can feel.
This has been tried with me but silence isn’t the outcome. I’ve wondered what he actually expected because these are the times I see the cold eyes that I avoided the majority of our time together.
Dr E is a very smart man. He was trying to get you to think and unravel. It does sound like in this you have some psychopathy. Along with the narcissism just a observation.
I have experienced that too. If you are strong enough, you will survive and get stronger. It takes time but it is possible. In your case it is only another form of capitulation, although it seems to be a huge victory. It is not. You are bond to that event forever. “Silence gives consent.” You are not free, you are forever bonded to that event. You changed your fear into hate and your shell shock into activism.
One excuse for you – you have been very young, when it happened.
This is called Shell Shocked Silence.
I have experienced this, the shocked silence in my relationship with my narcissist. And now it is clear to me how I got the fuel. I was in shock after shock all the time and silence was a constant in this.
A very cruel technique the truth, which undermines and demolishes the self-esteem of the victim.
The problem is that I don’t believe that it is the silence, nor that through this silence you consent or grant the aggressions of the narcissist. The real problem is the state of shock that doesn’t let you react, think rationally, block you and blind you. It is like the light used by hunters to dazzle and shock the prey.
If you say that silence that is a reaction satisfies you, to your comments and actions.
What do you think would be the reaction that the victim should have at a time or situation like this?
In my opinion I think it is a logical reaction, because the action that is exercised is shocking, surprising, disconcerting, painful. In short, Shocked.
But even so, I could answer the question. What should be the reaction of the victim, to block the obtaining of fuel to these comments and actions?
i think the best thing to do is to use the silence as an opportunity to have extra time to run and get the fuck out. get out.
giving them silence and ignoring them with also unbalance them
I think the best reaction in this case is to ignore. act like nothing happened. I have not yet experienced this. God has saved me.
But I recommend getting away. why even think how to react to a horrible person. run!
I’m wondering if the couple times my ex narc called me by her IPPS name that was a minor form if this. I recall it feeling so calculated. And I’m like thinking really?you just got out of bed with me for a few hours abd you forgot who you’re with?
Then – when later on – I spoke to the IPPS- i heard that b4 the split she also would hear MY name – but moreso in /during arguments.
Jesus- so amazing.
Mr. Tudor, what would happen if the victime is a supernova and answers back making huge criticism. Furthermore, what would happen if she leaves the place and proceed to NC?
A victim cannot be a supernova, that is a event. Responding with criticism would be Challenge Fuel. As for the effect of the imposition of no contact, please see ‘How No Contact Feels Parts One to Three’.
Mr. Tudor, may I ask……is it likely that the Shieldmaiden will end up shell shocked in the way that you describe? Or is it possible that this time things might be different for you…..what I mean is……..different in that there might be some sort of happily-ever-after for you and her?
It is far from likely.
HG: “It is far from likely.” I don’t understand your answer to Laurie. Would you expand?
Laurie: “Mr. Tudor, may I ask……is it likely that the Shieldmaiden will end up shell shocked in the way that you describe? Or is it possible that this time things might be different for you…..what I mean is……..different in that there might be some sort of happily-ever-after for you and her?”
Meaning it’s highly unlikely
Highly unlikely for happily ever after? 😥
No, highly unlikely she will end up in shell shocked silence.
I think he means it’s highly unlikely The Shieldmaiden will end up shelf shocked, MB. He replied to Laurie”s first question.
Thank you Lou. The multiple questions made that one difficult to follow.
HG if it is happily ever after ( which I’m hoping it is ) will you release all of your shelved seconds,so they might be able to have their own happily ever after? Even perhaps tertiary as well?
No, I bring much gladness into their lives. Of course they will not receive any intimacy from me because that is solely reserved for The Shieldmaiden, but I would remain friendly with the secondary sources (both IPSS and NISS). Remember, the label of IPSS remains IF there has been intimacy in the past even though that has halted and the individual is treated as an NISS.
I’m sorry for being so thick headed on this subject HG. I’ll get it eventually.
Oh, Mr Tudor, your generosity amazes me. How thoughtful of you not to deprive your IPSSs of your radiant, charming presence in their lives.
This being said, my compliments to you for your intention to stay monogamous in your relationship with Shieldmaiden.
Alright, sarcastic pants!
Your final sentence is appreciated though.
Well, perhaps not happily ever after (a lofty goal for even normals), but could you swiftly disengage without a cruel disengagement or smear campaign? Knowing you most definitely have the power, but choosing not to use it, demonstrates even greater power does it not?
I’m betting on Happily Ever After!
Damn it Tudor stop saying shit like this! It makes it hard for me to love you!😁
HG, Is the shell shocked silence brief? Or longer than that?
Which type of empath would be shocked into silence?
It may vary and any type can be.
Bloody hell Tudor!
I hope the SM NEVER has this happen to her!!
I hope this was some time ago in your journey!
As she’s told you she loves you, it’s only right she knows who she has fallen in love with… if you’re serious about change, and serious about her, she will read all of this one day.
Wanting to hurt someone so bad in this way, I can’t wrap my head around that.
it is very scary. but helpful to keep this in mind.