No Contact? No It’s Not! – Part Two
Many people believe they have implemented a no contact regime and it is nothing of the sort.
The holes in their regimes arise from two main factors
- A lack of knowledge. You are not us and therefore you fail to realise the extent to which your No Contact Regime needs to be established and why it is so fundamental to obtain expert input from me to ensure all angles are covered and all holes are plugged; and
- The impact of emotional thinking which causes you to believe that you are not going to be hoovered, that certain interactions with a narcissist are ‘safe’ (guess what? No they are not because he or she is a NARCISSIST) or that particular breaches are not actually breaches. Your emotional thinking is not your friend and it will con you in so many different ways to cause you to breach no contact. It is so clever at doing this, you will often not notice because it has blinded you by taking you to your personal tipping point so you lose insight. I see this because I am objective, dispassionate and well-versed in how emotional thinking manifests in your kind.
This series identifies various breaches in no contact and assists you in understanding why they happen and how they will be exploited by our kind, alongside why the breach is dangerous for you and thus enabling you to take steps to plug the hole, seal the breach and go Total No Contact.
Listen here to learn more.
2 thoughts on “No Contact? No It’s Not! – Part Two”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I cannot do no contact, because I don’t want to 😔 Because I still love him – If I’m honest with myself. I can cover it up and pretend I don’t, but then him and I are always a pair in my dreams. Because I believed him. That I’d be his last one. And before I fell in love, I believed we would spend our lives together and die in old age. But after he ensnared me he retracted his love, and denied loving me. And that was the only way he could hurt me. Because if he loved me everything would have been ok.
Oh yeah, I failed at no contact.
He thought he was the only one with charm. I had a new guy within a week of his “final discard.” For the 6.5 months I’ve been away from ULN, this new guy has not even once hit me, called me names, withdrawn in a temper fit so he could call other girls, gone with other girls, and when we have a misunderstanding, he comes after me first. It has taken some getting used to, this normal love.
After 6 weeks of no contact, I accidentally ended up on ULN fb, and the e-mail notifications went out. I totally didn’t even know I could do this, and I wasn’t trying, but it brought him back into contact. Since I was in there, I looked around. He’s got several sources on fb anyway. Same old stuff, not surprising or hurtful anymore. I am safe.
I ignited his fury by telling him this about my new guy, and how I do not miss him (ULN). Initiated no contact again, broke it immediately.
I don’t miss him and I am addressing my own abandonment issues. But I LOVE him. How is this even possible? I feel so stupid. New guy is an empath, and I adore about him. I’m not worried that it isn’t as intense or quick as with ULN, and I’m just enjoying the slow growth of closeness with him.
Anyway, I’m not having ULN back. Won’t even see him. I willingly give him fuel of a benign nature because he can get down enough to be suicidal, and I want him to survive long enough to find that lost little boy and set him free. How can this robot, this narc program who is just reacting and never attached to any experience or person, have taught me to live more fully?