The Futility of Your Feeling

Feelings are an unnecessary burden and thankfully I have been relieved of many of them, being left only with those which are deemed necessary to enable me to pursue the harvesting of fuel. Feelings blur and weaken. How many times have you heard your alarm go off in the morning and you have rolled over feeling like you do not want to get up? Many times I should imagine. That feeling of apprehension about what the day holds for you, despondency at what has happened to you and dread about what you have to do weakens you and holds you back. You spend much of your life in the pursuit of this notion of happiness but are you ever truly happy? Do you look at what you have and wish you had more? Do you look at other people around you and imagine how happy they must be and you wish that you were more like them? All you achieve is bitterness. Perhaps you do feel happy but as the empath that you are you see those who you regard as less happy than you and you wish that they could be more like you. All you achieve is vanity. You spend so much of your time seeking to be happy and then you worry about whether it is fleeting in nature. You express concern that you just want to be happy and spend more and more time trying to achieve this state of nirvana. You suffer from feeling sadness which leads to paralysis and indecision. You feel frustrated which sucks up your energy and leaves you feeling spent. You take pride in your ability to feel and to be able to feel on behalf of others yet all you are doing is allowing yourself to be burdened. Why bother pursuing those feelings which are regarded as positive, such as joy, happiness and elation? Is the effort truly worth it when you get there only for it to be a fleeting moment which then casts you into despondency? What was the point of that? Why allow yourself to be mired in upset, misery and dejection? You achieve nothing as you slowly sink into a quagmire of such negativity. Your feelings deceive you, press down on you and above all else allow us to manipulate you. It is because you feel this array of emotions that you provide us with emotional reactions. Of course you know that these emotional reactions create my fuel. Your feelings are to blame.

I never acquired these feelings. This is because the pursuit of fuel cannot be distracted by these cumbersome emotions. They serve no purpose and thus were never developed. I am built for the acquisition of fuel and nothing else. I am an efficient design, single-minded and driven. All excess baggage was not jettisoned, it was never stowed on board to begin with. I am not wholly without feelings. I have been developed in a way to allow certain feelings, those that aid my purpose, to come to the fore. I feel fury which ensures that I can exert control over other people and thus extract fuel from them. I feel envy which drives me on to strip away those traits from other people which I need to create my construct. If I felt no envy, I would not want these characteristics – thus this feeling serves a purpose. There is no superfluous feeling connected with me. I feel jealousy which again causes me to strive to better that person by lauding my own achievements and prompting a reaction which garners positive fuel or by berating the person of whom I am jealous and thus I harvest negative fuel. I feel hatred. This allows me to see everything as it truly is. Hatred hones and brings into sharp focus the reality of this cruel world and thus I am better able to navigate my way through it. Hatred is visceral, it is not fluffy or amorphous. It does not cloud or blur. It is direct, straight to the point and electrifying in its capacity to allow me to always go forward. All of these feelings and ones of a similar nature have been fashioned around me to assist me in my quest for fuel. Each one discharges a method of enabling me to gather fuel so that I can feel the ultimate emotion. My pursuit of fuel is predicated on the use of these various emotions with the sole purpose of allowing me to feel that emotion which I prize above all others.

I feel powerful.

I am powerful.

7 thoughts on “The Futility of Your Feeling

  1. FYC says:

    HG, you may find this study interesting. It finds shared brain circuitry for both love and hate.

    You will be pleased to note that your claim about hate is supported scientifically to a degree.

    “A marked difference in the cortical pattern produced by these two sentiments of love and hate is that, whereas with love large parts of the cerebral cortex associated with judgment and reasoning become de-activated, with hate only a small zone, located in the frontal cortex, becomes de-activated. This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion, just like love. But whereas in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgmental regarding the loved person, it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgment in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise extract revenge.”

    That said, the study is limited as it focuses on romantic love and does not delineate the stage of love.

    A different study in the same publication describes love as a three-stage process:

    “There are three phases of love, which include lust, attraction and attachment. Lust is a hormone-driven phase where we experience desire. Blood flow to the pleasure center of the brain happens during the attraction phase, when we feel an overwhelming fixation with our partner. This behavior fades during the attachment phase, when the body develops a tolerance to the pleasure stimulants. Endorphins and hormones vasopressin and oxytocin also flood the body at this point creating an overall sense of well-being and security that is conducive to a lasting relationship.”

    So, perhaps love from a position of strength (versus infatuation) entails the choice to love another in the presence of strong values and support of the same.

  2. FYC says:

    Both hatred and love distort vision. Why? Because once you take either position, your mind subconsciously seeks only the data that supports your emotion. Both love and hate can be experienced from a position of strength. To believe all love is fluffy and amorphous is quite limiting and inaccurate. Real love (not chasing love, nor conditional love) is a brave choice. It requires strength.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Truer words were never spoken! 👏👏👏 I wish more people would understand this FYC. 😘

      1. FYC says:

        FM1T, You are most kind. Thank you.

  3. mollyb5 says:

    HG …Your hate is so petty tho …and your kind will murder or set fires and physically abuse when you feel hatred and your fury is ignited. Many times it’s Ignited if a person only disagrees with you or shares their own personal experience …and you and your kind interpret it as an insult to your position of superiority . …Because we didn’t ask if we could share …Your hatred isn’t for the betterment of mankind’s only for yourself and personal pride. If your hatered was directed at real true “enemies” like other narcs ..who rape , kidnap torture young people then you would be using your hatred for the betterment of mankind . You would be a super hero . Like the Hulk.

  4. Kel says:

    Umm, waait a minute here: the pursuit of fuel can’t be distracted by cumbersome emotions/ you are efficient??! If you spend ALL of your time vacuuming and sucking in Our emotions because you can’t manufacture those emotions yourself- thennn – why don’t you really be efficient and develop your own emotions and you can spend your time doing something else for a change, n’est ce pas? And another thing- the world wouldn’t be so cruel if less people were hateful. And us feeling dejected is because we’ve got negative hateful narcissist’s bringing us down. I was really trying to be open minded on this one, but it didn’t take me there. I look forward to Fearless rotating back around to inspire me to ditch useless emotions and be fearlessly successful. Not the positive emotions, mind you, just the negative ones- like worrying about a narcissist, or trying to please one, or feeling fearful of being successful because that might make a narcissist jealous and so on. Efficiency, to me, isn’t wasting my time absorbing everyone else’s reactions, and causing those people to waste their time worrying over someone who doesn’t care anything about them. Come over to our side Tudor, it makes more sense and it’s more efficient, less time consuming, and a full range of emotions isn’t what drags you down, it’s the con men of the world who do. ❤️

  5. candacemarie1212 says:

    Happiness is a wonderful feeling . That is why people work so hard to try to achieve it. Without feeling sadness , you could never appreciate true happiness . But unfortunately happiness never lasts forever . Something always happens to ruin it. I would not want to be stripped of never feeling happiness or sadness again . But I can also see how these feelings can hold one back. Especially after the day I’ve had today, feeling nothing would have been nice!

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