A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 8


Dear Lesser Narcissist,

Remember how wonderful it used to be? How much we were in love. How you treated me like a princess. The romance, flowers, jewelry, and making love. Oh wait you don’t remember. Oh that’s right, none of that ever happened. What really happened?

Let me refresh your memory.

Remember when I was only 13 and you got me pregnant you told me to have an abortion because I was only 5ft2 and 90 pounds and that having a baby would kill me? So I had the abortion. And then I lied to my parents about it.

I felt shame.

Remember when you grabbed me by my neck and choked me unconscious?

Remember when you pointed the gun to my face and then went outside and fired it off?

Remember when you kicked me in the side of the face?

Remember when you would punch holes in the wall?

I felt scared.

Remember when you had sex with me while I was passed out drunk?

I felt violated.

Remember when you were driving and you said “Do you want to die?” And I leaned over and slammed my foot on the gas pedal and jerked the wheel and I said “We are all going to die.” You said “You are fucking crazy.”

Remember when I slashed the tires on my own car?

Remember when I was driving down the street and you kept running your mouth? You kept calling me a sore loser over and over and you wouldn’t stop. So I slammed on the brakes and punched you in the face. You said “Ouch! Have you been working out?” I was laughing and crying.

Remember when I smashed my car into your car? Good Times!

I felt like a crazy person.

Remember when you ripped off those guys and they whipped your ass with a fan belt? I had never seen you cry before.

I felt sorry for you.

Remember when you shared me with your friend because you owed him money?

Remember how we always watched porn?

Remember how tiny your dick was? I do.

Remember when you would tell your friends they could have sex with me if they paid you $20 dollars  then you would get mad at them for saying yes?

Remember how you always accused me of wanting to have sex with other guys, just because I was talking to them?

Remember when I cheated on you? I slept with your brother. Well I have a confession. I slept with both of your brothers.

I felt nothing.

Remember how you still live at home with your mommy?

Remember when I finally left you?

Remember when you try to scare my new boyfriend away and he kicked your ass? So I married him.

Remember when you told me not to push my religious beliefs onto to you? And I said don’t worry because when I die and go to heaven you are the last person I want to see there. I meant it.

Remember how you didn’t want to pay child support, so we had custody battles until our daughter turned 18?

Do you remember?

Well it doesn’t matter anyway. There is no reason to bring up the past.

If I send this it will just cause a hoover and give you fuel. You see I have read some of HG Tudor’s books and he taught me about narcissist. Oh never mind you wouldn’t understand. It is really unfortunate that you became what you are. I forgive you. Don’t think that I am being soft or that I give a crap about you.

I am crazy remember.

Feeling content.

So where is the delete button?


Narcis…. I mean Empath



17 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 8

  1. Just Bacon says:

    This is so powerful!

  2. mommypino says:

    I love this letter but I especially love the way she signed off. It shows that she’s completely free of his influence. The projection that he made her believe that she’s the narcissist and the crazy one doesn’t hold power over her anymore. She has embraced who she really is, an empath. And she is moving forward. God bless her. ❤️

  3. AnIceKnight001 says:

    Daaaaamn this is perfect.

    Way too many people who think they’re empathic who are clearly lesser or mid-range narcissists.

    I don’t want to go there, just let me be plain folks.

  4. Kiki says:

    Hg do you fly to glamorous locations all the time.
    How do you do that with work commitments Im just curious. It must cost a fortune.
    Do you pay for SM.?
    Where is the best place you have been?
    You are so lucky to be able to see so much of the world.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Kiki,

      1. No.
      2. It is combined with work.
      3. Sometimes. Sometimes she pays for me. It is all done graciously and fairly.
      4. Do you mean country or a particular venue?
      5. Thank you. I do see a lot of the world that it is best that most people do not see, as well.

  5. mai51 says:

    Love, love, love this letter!

  6. Bibi says:

    HG, are you still accepting letters? I was thinking of one to my dad, hence my asking.

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Bibi says:

        Good to know. I will need to think it over for a time. Glad there is no deadline.

  7. lisk says:

    Writing a letter like this would be too painful right now. As soon as I remember the crappy memories or realize what he must have been doing when I thought he was doing something else, I try to suppress it.

    Good for ILHGT for facing it head on in this letter.

  8. J.G THE ONE says:

    A very hard letter. I’m so glad you could get out of your narcissist. I wish you all the best.

  9. Jacquelyn Fargano says:

    You are amazing.

  10. baileykaren2011 says:


  11. Christopher Jackson says:

    Way to go you got out of that Jerry Springer bullshit remember get out and stay out!

  12. Abe Moline says:

    This is a good one. I like it. I feel proud for her! Thank you, ILHGT!

    1. AnIceKnight001 says:

      You didn’t read the closing couple sentences carefully enough.

      1. Abe Moline says:

        I get that you assume I’m a narcissist. Well, what can I say? It’s a valid hypothesis…
        Sorry for the late reply, been quite busy lately, had to give a treatment to an old wooden leg. It was silent.

        Now, I actually wanted to elaborate a bit on my initial comment, just had to find my words.
        I’ve been reading all these letters lately (re)published by HG (around 16 of them atm), and I still stand by my initial assessment – this is the “best” of them so far.

        But first, I just want to express my admiration for this woman. She’s been through a terrible experience and still got out and recovered, showing here a lot of strength and integrity, calmness and forgiveness.
        Compared to her experience, mine would probably look like taking a nap at the warm full bosom of a young virgin while she’s singing me a lullaby. Makes one feel a bit ashamed to whine around here for petty narc-related grievances…
        ILHG must be a tough warrior, a remarkable presence, a great mother, wife and friend.

        As for the letter, to my inexperienced eye, it looks as if being very low on fuel. She’s stating facts and own feelings, statement after statement after statement. She’s not assuming any feelings or reactions from the narcissist, which in my opinion shows she’s not only humble in her approach, but also damn smart.

        Besides clarity and conciseness (and a bit of humor), this letter is also a very fine example of assertiveness, useful in any situation, not only narcissist-related.

        This was a good bunch of lessons to learn, in many ways.
        I really appreciate it.

        Thank you again, ILHG.

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