Dispelling 10 Hoover Myths


There is a lot of rubbish written about hoovers, from people who do not understand our kind and those who are affected by their emotional thinking which propagates misunderstanding which runs contrary to your best interests.

Listen in as I cast a Dispel Myth spell and furnish you with some cool, hard logic.

Listen Here

26 thoughts on “Dispelling 10 Hoover Myths

  1. iwasJ says:

    HG, I’ve read your blog for years but hearing it like this is so impactful. Any plans for a podcast?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have an entire YouTube channel packed with information.

  2. Jess says:

    Dear HG: when we have a robust No Contact regime in place, would an UMRN continue to try and hoover when HEC are met? Am having trouble understanding how and why they could hoover when email, phone, social media, mutual friends, etc. are blocked. Have you ever been unable to reach/hoover someone due to non-penetrable no contact defences?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If the HEC are met, the hoover happens.
      There have been occasions where certain hoovers failed and thus an alternative was sought.
      I can assist you through consultation with further understanding if required.

      1. Jess says:

        Thank you HG! I have already consulted and am staying NC. By alternatives you mean seeking hoovers by poxy, etc.

        1. HG Tudor says:


          1. Jess. says:

            Thank you HG! I’ve taken all of your good advice onboard and despite all of the hoovers so far, I’m sticking to full NC – 9 months now.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Well done, you are seizing the power.

  3. Lori says:

    I don’t know if this is the right post to ask this under but I am an ipss that was blocked after saying something that I’m pretty sure sounded him. In any case I have been blocked for whatever reason however I keep getting fake friend requests off and on. I have no way of knowing if it’s him but 90 percent sure that at least some of them were him. There have been about 7 I can think of. Would a narc really have that many fake profiles ? What is the purpose in this if he knows I’m not going to accept. I would normally say it’s an indirect Hoover but o have no way of.contacting him so what’s the purpose ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      He does not believe you will not accept – the sense of entitlement drives it.
      It is to provoke a response and provide fuel of course.

      1. Lori says:

        So say I do not accept the request but respond with “you sent me a friend request how do you know me” which I saw was read but he did not respond.

        Is that fuel for him?

        Wouldn’t a narc respond to my inquiry.in an attempt to strike up conversation with me ?

        Wouldn’t a Narc eventually.figure out you aren’t going to accept ?

        And finally

        Do they do this to keep tabs on you as a way to stay connected to you without expending any energy

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No, that is not fuel as there is no emotion in it, it would wound the narcissist because you have not accepted the friend request and you are asking him to explain how he knows you, thus it will feel like he is being subjected to control by you.

          He may well respond in order to exert control and thereafter strike up a conversation if it benefits the narcissist.

  4. J.G THE ONE says:

    You killed him hahaha.
    I imagine his face, what a wonderful fuel thought. hahaha.

  5. J.G THE ONE says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    Between throne game and narcissistic game, I’ll stay with you and this last one. hahahaha-
    A Spanish proverb says: A timely retreat is a victory.
    If you can explain me one thing about the topic hoover.
    What sense does it make for the narcissist to hoover a discarded victim?
    It’s a stale fuel.
    It is a person who can know what it is and can cause narcissistic injury.
    It’s painted black.
    It is an unpleasant person.
    There are better options to seduce.
    I don’t understand very well. Because if I were a narcissist I would prefer new lands to conquer and not return to previously conquered lands. And more knowing what I’m going to find.
    I only see the possible hoover of the narcissist as a challenge, to conquer again a victim to enlarge even if it fits his ego?
    Could you explain to me why the narcissist returns with the victim if he has many more interesting options in his matrix?

    1. J.G THE ONE says:

      I suppose that the hoover is performed only on victims who still don’t know what they are and aren’t unhooked from them.
      Because, to a victim who is recovered, I think this is not possible. The narcissist must have mistrust and fear that this may hurt him in some way.

      1. E. B. says:

        Hi J.G.,
        re “to a victim who is recovered, I think this is not possible. ”
        Not from the narcissist’s perspective.
        HG has written a book about hoovers called “Black Hole – The Narcissistic Hoover” available on Amazon.
        He has also written many different articles about this subject, including
        “The Spheres of Influence” (https://narcsite.com/2017/08/28/the-spheres-of-influence-2/),
        “What causes a hoover? Part One”
        “Ten Ways to Cause a Hoover”, “Will the Narcissist Deploy a Follow-up Hoover, Six Speciality Hoovers (and How to Unplug Them)” to name a few.

        1. Lou says:

          Oh, I hadn’t seen this reply before I commented on the Hoover fuel.

        2. J.G THE ONE says:

          Thank you EB… For the links…
          I have read black hole. But H.G.’s information is so huge. That inevitably some things are forgotten, or we pass on tiptoe. We must read and reread again and again books and post.
          For example, I forget a very important thing, that when entering their circles of influence again activates in the victim our dependence and addiction to the narcissist.
          In my case my narcissist has to be a high medium or high. He is rather a sadist who only makes very fine mental manipulations. But on the other hand he is just a poor devil who has nowhere to drop dead. Never in the ten years I had a physical aggression on his part, good lie, only on one occasion. He kicked me, he pretended he was playing. His reaction to this fact, I put it, kept him from physically assaulting me again. I also have to say that I don’t know for sure, because I didn’t live with him because we were very young. 18/21 and there was no possibility of cohabitation. But his mental manipulations were devastating on the sentimental level.

    2. Lou says:

      For fuel. Hoover fuel is potent because it gives them a sense of power and control. If they make the victim return to them and provide them with fuel, that is very gratifying for them. It can also be easy to obtain if the right conditions are there. They already know the victim and know how they’re going to react. Narcs don’t like to spend a lot of energy in their hunt for fuel, so if the Hoover triggers and criteria are there, they will Hoover without hesitation.There are always a lot of factors in play though.

  6. E. B. says:

    In my particular case, it is not about the prime aims. They hoover either to punish me (with a malign hoover) or to exert power and control.

    1. J.G THE ONE says:

      Hello, get ready…
      I bought a tape recorder. You can also record a video or audio from your phone. If it comes back with some kind of benign or malicious Hoover it records any interaction you have with your narcissist. Then report harassment. With the evidence in hand.
      You’ll be in for a big surprise!
      Of course, first assess what kind of narcissist is yours. In my case, mine was not violent, but rather it was a medium high or high low somatic.

      1. E. B. says:

        Hello J.G,
        Thank you for your kind advice. Although recording or videotaping others without their consent is not allowed in the country where I live, I used to carry a hidden recorder with me when I had violent Lessers targeting me. One of them used to provoke me to get an emotional reaction while the other people in the group stood a few steps behind watching and laughing out loud. I did not react and ignored all of them. I was also protecting a family member who could not defend himself.
        There are malignant hoovers that cannot be recorded or videotaped. I can only document them with very little or no evidence. These types of abusers know what to do and how. They also have the advantage that most people are reluctant to accept any evidence that could contradict their views. They are not the typical NPD/BPD/AsPD. They are not interested in fuel or residual benefits. They scheme and plot to destroy those they cannot control. They seek advice from the authorities and if possible, befriend them. They do not interact with me directly. They know they will not succeed or I will ignore them. If I recognize one of their Lieutenants/Coterie, I ignore them too. I’d rather not go into detail about their malignant hoovers to avoid giving people information to use against their targets.

      2. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

        J.G. There is a lot of ambiguity about taping someone. I say, tape away if this person is doing bad to you, and you can catch it on tape. Some say that the recordings can not be used in court, if it is not done correctly, or if the person is unaware of being taped. In Court. In court, it can not be used….at times. At times. There are times it can be used, despite the general considerations of permission being granted or whether or not the person knows. Legality is a bit complex at times. But, there are venues other than court, as well, remember: Pubic opinion, your friends and acquaintances, etc. You can allow them to hear the tapes. And once they hear the tapes, they can not un-hear them, even if at some point you are told the tapes can not be allowed in evidence in court. If for some reason the court becomes involved. But, you have not mentioned court at all. Tape away! And even if you did try to bring them up in a court setting, and you are informed that they can not be allowed in evidence, the perpetrator, the opposing side, and a jury and even the judge himself, etc. will be concerned about those tapes. And the fact that they can be leaked or accidentally put into play, one way or the other etc. bothers them all. And the notion of taped evidence speaks in your favor, even if they are not permitted to listen to the tapes, by law. And when a jury hears that there are tapes that you say prove your point, evidence, the jury will want to hear those tapes, even if the judge tells them to not even think about those tapes. The idea of tapes excites them! They want to hear them and will think more positively about your case at that point. Even the judge will consider that you have evidence, even if he is prevented by law to listen to the tapes. So, it is a win for you all around with taped evidence on your behalf. Sometimes laws seem to protect the perpetrators more than the victims, to the point that victims must find ways to think outside the box, on behalf of themselves. In short: Tape them! Tape away!

  7. Sweetest Perfection says:

    When I was a college student, I had a turbulent relationship with a guy who moved to my hometown for his job, although he still traveled back to his city of origin during most weekends. This turned out to be the most painful and complicated experience I’ve ever had in my love life. He had an official girlfriend in his town (IPPS, I know now), an IPSS (me) in his work town, and probably many other IPSSs and DLSs. I was intoxicated by his presence and obsessed about him. After he realized I was infatuated, he started devaluation. But he never completely let me go. He once told me he wanted me to be like a fast-speed train that’s not totally attached to the rails but still doesn’t go away. I was young and naive and although I suffered immensely, I couldn’t think of not being with him. If I smelled his perfume anywhere I experienced physical pain. During the summer, when I went to the beach with my family, he would visit me and flirt with my friends. It was total abuse. I ended up having a rebound that helped me shift my focus, and then finally dated someone else seriously and forgot about him. Then I moved to another country and never saw him again.
    20 years later, we just coincided in a professional event this week. He looks old and fat while everyone says I look exactly the same. I didn’t know what narcissism was back then. But I do now. It has been a tremendously entertaining experience to confirm all the knowledge that I have gained through HG’s lessons. This guy is definitely a narc. I would say Upper Middle Range Elite. His behavior is cristal clear to my eyes now. And of course, even after 20 years, here came the hoovers. He acted as if we had never stopped dating. He tried to appeal to my ET by bringing out memories of the beach: “do you remember when WE went to the beach?” (while I was thinking: yeah, I did got to the beach, you stalked me and tried to triangulate me). He even invited me to visit him in his hotel (the audacity!!!) and said he would like to kiss me if it wasn’t for my being married (he ended up marrying his girlfriend and having three kids). I simply observed and enjoyed the view. I showed no emotions, no flirt, no anger. Nothing. I pretended I didn’t hear his kiss jokes and respectfully declined any invitation arguing I was tired. Meanwhile, I became friends with a younger new guy who I just happened to meet at the event and who looks 10 times more attractive than Narcy. I don’t want anything with the other guy, but it was fun to watch Narcy’s face while this happened. He sent me a message last night saying his flight left early this morning. I said: if I were you I would go to bed and try to rest. Have a good flight.
    Cold revenge never tasted this good.
    So yes. The hoover doesn’t need to happen if there’s no hoover criteria to trigger it. But if there is the chance, even 20 years later, it will happen. I love being an Empath because we don’t hoover: we discard.

    1. J.G THE ONE says:

      You killed him hahaha.
      I imagine his face, what a wonderful fuel thought. hahaha.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        JG., it was glorious. Of course, I don’t care much about him these days, but it was still great to see he still wants something from me, while I am totally done with his sorry ass.

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