Own

own

I want to own you.

I want to draw you into my world. A world where my rules are the only rules that matter. When I first set eyes on you I make it my business to ascertain your suitability for ownership. You might only be owned in the sense of being a tertiary source which I interact with the once, but in that moment, I own you and I own the fuel that flows from you.

I wish to brand you as my property. My appliance. My plaything. I own you and this means that nobody else does. I have exclusive rights.

I may designate you the role of secondary source, should you make the grade and you become mine, subject to the unwritten contract that governs you and I. You are to be loyal, obedient, compliant and a provider of fuel.

If you are to be my primary source, that coveted position of supplier-in-chief of the most precious and desired fuel then you also must be owned. You must be subjected to my total and hegemonic control. Once I decide that you are the one, I will not stop. Once that light has turned green, once the first tantalising drops of your fuel have begun to be sucked up by me, there is no hope for anything else.

You must be mine. I must own you.

You at first think that I look on you with love-lorn eyes. Indeed I do as I turn my precious orbs into the mirrors which give you what you want to see. Behind their silvery gaze, my machined machinations are forming. I am absorbing how you smile, how your wrinkle your nose, how you play with your hair on the left hand side of your head, never the right. I listen to the way you say ‘scone’ – do you say it so it rhymes with tone or with gone? Every word that will come from your mouth will belong to me. I want to know everything about you. Every facet of your life must now belong to me. When my hand touches you and you feel that jolt of electricity between you and me, that is my connection with you as I begin to download your life.

It is true that I have already screened you, probed your life from a distance, made enquiries and observed before launching my take-over bid. I have done my homework but now I want to dominate, conquer and subsume. I must envelop you in my world for then I can be sure that you will respond as I require. Loyal, reliable and functional.

Steadily I drain your identity from you, consuming it for my own use. This is part of the process of owning you. I know no boundaries, I see no limits, I recognise no restraint. I have decided that you are to belong to me and thus this is what must happen with the steady and incremental accumulation of what you are. I am plugged into you, the ultimate parasite which sucks the life from you. Your money becomes my money, your house becomes my house, your friends become my appliances. There is no real me. There is no substance and thus I must steal what you are in order to give the appearance of substance.

The only way I understand to do this is to own you. Make you part of the fabricated world that I have woven. This dazzling fiction fools so readily and as I part the curtain and beckon you in to my wonder land, you accept and once inside you become mine. The real world is left behind. The real world of rules, standards, procedures and fairness is no longer applicable to you. I own you now and as a consequence you are subject to my capricious nature, the arbitrary application of my diktats and pronouncements. None of it will make any sense to you when you start to realise what it happening but it will be too late by then. Your assimilation into me will be so far gone that you may just well scream and the only voice you will hear will be mine.

My ownership means I tell you who to speak to and who to ignore. My ownership means that dress is wrong and that one is right until it is the other way around. Yesterday is tomorrow which becomes today. You think Josef K endured the Kafkaesque nightmare of nothing making sense? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I must control everything. My space, time and the environment around you. This is why to you I seem to operate as if I have no concept of time, but that is because I do not operate to Greenwich Mean Time but rather Being Mean Time. I compartmentalise, shifting between worlds which must never connect, where the players and actors inside of them move to my direction. They dance to the tune that my invisible piper plays. I must not leave anything to chance. I do not like chance. It is the ruin of me. I want predictable and eventually you will come to realise that there are few who are as predictable as my kind. We bring excitement, we bring chaos, we bring drama but it is all so predictable. The same manipulations, just variations on a theme. Some of us have more strings to our dark cupid’s bow, but the poisoned arrows we fire all have the same effects. Control and fuel.

It is only by ensuring that we own you that we can be assured and convinced that you will do as we want you to, that you will not be disloyal or a traitor to us. We must plug you in to us and like some giant leech suck the very essence from you, taking your fuel, your confidence, your self-worth, your self-esteem and stripping you of them to ensure there is compliance and obedience.

I want to own so that I know I will win. I want to own you so I can exist.

I want to own you so that everything you do is as consequence of my decisions and my actions which ensure you provide me with my lifeblood whenever I demand it. You are on call and on demand, my primary source of salvation, the reason for my existence and I dare not allow the slightest chink of autonomy for fear of losing that control.

I want to own you to underline my superiority. I want to own you to remind myself that I am powerful. I want to own you so that it is repeatedly highlighted that I am the controller.

I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.

15 thoughts on “Own

  1. blackunicorn123 says:

    Mine says “you signed a contract”. It sent chills down my spine when he first said it.

  2. J.G THE ONE says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    In my case he owned me for 10 years. But not anymore!
    And now, I wonder H.G. if you could answer.
    What does the narcissist feel when he loses control over his victims when he sees that his victims have recovered, they are again full of fuel, free of their control and happy again?
    I imagine this must be a narcissistic wound due to criticism. But I would like you to tell me, that it is you who can express it better since you experience it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See ‘Jealous of Your Contentment’.

  3. Wissh says:

    This is so triggering. Narcex would say, “I own you,” and I thought it was so cute, obviously he adored me and wanted me to be his alone and his alone. :snort: And now, many months of HG education later it sickens and embarrasses me to even think about it.

  4. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Speaking of owning! I always wanted to ask you this and I always forget, HG. Why did my narc plagiarize everything I said??? If we went to a museum and I said something about a piece of art, he would post my exact words as if they were his on Facebook; if I told him a description of a culinary dish from my country, he would steal my description and post it too. And my friends told me some time ago that he stole the same joke I posted a year ago, when I still had my account active, about work and being on the beach. The exact thing. Wtf is wrong with him?

    1. nunya biz says:

      SP, is he a midrange? I think they have varying ability to copy in order to convince others of depth. My impression from your posts is that you have a wide and complex range of appreciations and interests to mirror. A greater would reform it more convincingly? It seems like midrangers will just blatantly steal your perceptions and almost convince themselves it is their own thoughts. Plus they are cowards.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Yep, I think so. He is also jealous that I am from one of his favorite countries in the world and that I am much better at karaoke singing lol.

        1. nunya biz says:

          Haha, jealous clearly. Me too though bc you do not want to hear me sing anything.

    2. J.G THE ONE says:

      The narcissist has three basic needs.
      1 FUEL.
      2 CHARACTER TRAITS.
      3 ADDED BENEFITS.
      According to the description he makes in his commentary, he is stealing his character traits, because he is so empty that he has no personality at all and should be nourished by his traits, anecdotes, recipes, comments etc. That is why each person steals these traits.
      Hg has already commented on it.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Thank you, J.G. I’ll take his copying me as a compliment, always look at the silver linings…

    3. SMH says:

      SP, That is interesting because MRN used to take the exact shot that IPPS would take and post it on his own IG. It was weird, weird, weird and otherwise he was pathetic with a camera – could only focus on the sky, water and airplanes. Someone would ask him a question and he wouldn’t respond. One of his kids would tag him and he would ignore it. I always thought it was because he didn’t want to do it (his family forced him and he had very few followers) so he would just take the easy way out. It also seemed Aspergerish to me.

      Character traits and depth sound right but I always had a question about that because if you don’t have character traits or depth, how do you know those things are missing? Do Lessers and Mid-rangers sense that they are shallow and boring? Or do they just fear that they are? HG?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        The narcissist instinctively recognises the need to acquire character traits as part of the self-defence mechanism, it is not done out of a conscious recognition.

        1. SMH says:

          Thanks for answering, HG. Do Lessers and Mid-Rangers simply not have character traits? Or might they have them but still need to impulsively acquire more?

          Neither Lesser ExH nor MRN had what I would call a ‘core.’ That is, when push came to shove, they took the easy way out (the way that would guarantee them fuel) rather than struggling to work through things. But I also found both of them to be intelligent, talented, etc. What are they missing? The confidence that they are interesting? A backbone?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            There is no ‘them’ but rather an assimilation of traits which will differ dependent on those they are interacting with in their fuel matrices.

          2. SMH says:

            Got it. Thanks. The traits they recognize, admire and seem to want also seem to be perceived as threats to their own superiority/control.

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