The Revision of History


You are no doubt familiar with the quotation

“History is written by the victors”

to explain that those who triumph then re-write what has happen to accord with their new-found supremacy. We bastardise that quotation. We re-write history in order to ensure that we are the victors. We love to win. We hate to lose. It goes further than that. It is not just about wanting to win, loving the fact that we are winners but we need to win. It is imperative. This need to win manifests in numerous ways, which include:-

Always being in receipt of fuel;

Being the centre of attention;

Having our say first and for longest;

Making sure we are heard above all others;

Getting the latest gadget or piece of technology ahead of our friends, family and neighbours;

Having the most attractive spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, partner amongst our social groups;

Having the best suit and tie;

Being the most senior at a meeting;

Earning the most out of our peers;

Having secured the best career out of those we went to school with;

Being the best at running, football, archery, chess;

Knowing the most about a particular subject;

Offering the best wine at a dinner party;

Securing the best seats at a theatre or a restaurant;

Being acknowledged first in a group;

Bench pressing the heaviest weight in the gym;

Having the best sound system;

Knowing more famous people than our friends;

Securing tickets to a sold-out performance;

Winning the argument with anybody who tries to challenge us;

Ensuring our partner puts our needs ahead of theirs;

Getting served before anybody else;

Being able to drink the most at a party;

Ensuring everybody respects our “quiet time” when we are watching a film;

Having the most exuberant birthday bashes.

There are of course so many more. Not all of these are always applicable as for instance a Cerebral Narcissist will have little interest in ensuring that he can bench press the most weight at the gym and the Somatic Narcissist is not at all bothered about being the local expert on the history of the town in which he lives, but each and everyone one of our kind will want to and need to, secure the win.

This need manifests in the lengths we will go to so that we achieve the win. We will boast, brag, manipulate, blackmail, coerce, cajole, sabotage, nobble and bribe our way to the win. Nothing is off limits. If I can emotionally blackmail a friend into ensuring I sit in the lead funeral car with the family ahead of any other friend of the family, then I will do it. If I need to delete the files from a competitor’s computer at work, so be it. If I need to ensure that I have control over you in our relationship, so I win repeatedly, then I will unleash all manner of manipulations form my Devil’s Toolkit in order to make sure I win, win and win again.

The revision of history is one such tool that our kind deploys on a regular basis to bring about the win. Let’s look at some examples of how that appears.

Imagine I am at the bar with some of my inner circle friends. One of my friends, someone who has served a purpose from school, brings up the occasion of the 100 metre sprint from the school athletics championships.

“Hey HG, you ran a great time that day and you were only just pipped to the gold medal by that dude from LRG weren’t you?”

“I think, Michael, you will find that I pipped him to the title.”

“Really? Are you sure? I thought he beat you.”

“No, I beat him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, I was actually looking back through my results at the weekend when I was clearing some boxes from the loft and I was remembering how close the race had been but how I had overtaken that dude and beat him, narrowly true, but I beat him all the same.”

“I could have sworn it was the other way around.”

“No, you are wrong. I checked the times. I beat him by 0.2 of a second.”

“Oh I see.”

“Yes, he was gracious in defeat but I suppose you have to be when you don’t win, eh Michael?”

Michael nods and accepts my point since it was said with authority and the backing of a recent review of the result.

I actually did come second but I am not going to allow Michael to point that out in front of these inner circle friends. I rewrote history to ensure that I proved a point to him and ensured that I was held in the proper regard by those listening which in turn provided me with fuel.

2. Now consider a conversation between a primary source and me.

“Where have you been?” asks the primary source.

“What do you mean, where have I been? You know where I have been.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do, I told you last week.”

“No you did not. I have been wondering where you have been, I was getting worried.”

“Well that is your own fault, I told you last week that I was going out this evening.”

“No you did not.”

“I did, I remember specifically. I was searching for my shirt that I wanted to wear, you know the blue one which I bought recently, but you wouldn’t help me look as you were watching some television programme. You asked why I wanted the shirt and I said I wanted to make sure it was clean and ironed because I was going out with Nathan and Paul.”

“I dont remember that.”

“Well I do.”

“I really do not remember you telling me you were going out.”

“You probably didn’t take it in, after all you were pretty engrossed in your programme.”


“Anyway, what’s to eat, I am famished.”

I never said anything about going out but I will re-write history to make it appear that I did so because this frustrates you, avoids your attempt to blame me and allows me to maintain superiority by being right.

3. I am sat with a primary source in a restaurant.

“Isn’t that that woman who was obsessed with you?”

“Where?” I answer.

“There, coming through the doors, what is her name again, beings with an A I am sure.”

“Who? The lady with the short brown bob?”

“No, next to her, the one with long blonde hair.”

“Never seen her before.”

“Are you sure, she looks like that woman you pointed out to me.”

“No, I don’t know her.”

“It is a damn good likeness if it is not her. It is her, she is coming over.”

The blonde woman comes to our table.

“Hello,” she smiles at me ignoring the primary source, “fancy seeing you here.”

“Sorry are you talking to me?”

“Yes, hi HG, how are you?”

“I am sorry do I know you?”

“Yes we worked together.”

“No I am sorry, I don’t remember you.”

Her downcast expression provides me with fuel.

“I was in the team that worked alongside yours. We went to Singapore, do you not remember?”

“You might have worked where I worked but I don’t know you, sorry, but if you wouldn’t mind, we are about to order. Waiter!?”

Puzzled and upset she slowly walks away and I savour her fuel.

“She definitely knew you,” presses the primary source.

“Seems that way, but then I am well known aren’t I?” I answer with a self-congratulatory grin. I am pleased to have rebuffed Samantha who I know full well but it suited my purpose to rebuff her. I know she will try and contact me again to prove she knows me and then I just may re-write history again to confirm that I do. Of course, when I do, I may re-write that I had forgotten who she was.

We engage in this manipulation in order to exert control. It allows us to confuse, bewilder, upset, brag and thus maintain fuel. We will re-write history so that we avoid blame, gain kudos, claim achievements that are not our own, make us sound better at what we have accomplished, to evade liability and ensure you are confused and puzzled. It comes within gas-lighting as you start to find your memory is fallible. We have no hesitation in confirming something happened when it did not, we will change events, add things and take them away so long as it suits our purposes. If you present us with some independent evidence that contradicts us we will not shift our position in terms of maintaining history is how we decree it. Instead, we will unleash an alternative manipulation in order to deflect and deny your attempt to challenge our version.

Even the most obvious of events will be erased, amended and added to. Nothing is safe from our treatment of how things were. If it serves a purpose for us to alter history one way or another then we shall do so.

How do you deal with this?

As ever, state you position the once so you know you have stated it and then move on. The re-writing of history is designed to draw you in to an argument, make you try to convince us that you are right and we are wrong (although you will fail), to make you erupt in frustration or anger or tears, to bewilder you so that you keep accepting we are correct, so little by little you eventually always accept what we say and submit to this particular mind game.

Conversations will be recalled in a different manner. People who did not attend will have attended whilst others vanish. Events play out in a different manner once they have been subjected  to this treatment.

It is all part of securing the win.

We change history. That’s how powerful we consider ourselves to be.

16 thoughts on “The Revision of History

  1. bostongirl13 says:

    “As ever, state your position the once so you know you have stated it and then move on. The re-writing of history is designed to draw you in to an argument.”

    State my position and move on. It has a nice ring to it. Lol. Maybe it could work for some. Once you’ve become a pickle you can’t go back to being a cucumber. And that’s me. I’m allergic to lies, gaslights, mindfuckery and other nefarious behavior. Yet, drawn to the men that dispense it all…

  2. Kelly says:

    I have never been right since I’ve known him. Thankfully, it hasn’t been that long lol. Being wrong is draining in its own way.
    But, he scored 2 goals in his soccer game. For me. Did I see them? Of course, how could I take my eyes off him?

  3. Kiki Romano says:

    If you and other narcissists are so powerful, why do you need to lie? A truly great person wouldn’t have to resort to such childishness.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Childish from your perspective.
      2. The lie is the truth from the perspective of the Lesser or Mid Range Narcissist.
      3. The lie is the necessary truth from the perspective of the Greater.

      The need for control means anything and all things must be done to maintain control.

      1. Joanne says:

        It was so important for me to learn and accept this. I would become so frustrated with his “recollection” of what happened between us. I was hurt that he didn’t remember correctly and that he couldn’t understand HOW he hurt me. Now I realize that none of it matters anyway, he will never be accountable and the blame had to be shifted elsewhere even if it required making up a completely fabricated story. Completely ridiculous but it is what it is.

        1. foolme1time says:

          I have been involved with every school of narcissist at one time or another in my life. They all do this, however each is different, as is the school they belong to. The lesser was horrible at lying, all of the other traits that are so familiar of a lesser are there when they lie. They are not very good at it and always have a tell. I remember the one whenever he would lie his mouth on the left side would curl up, but just like a lesser if you called him out on it he would get angry and explode at being called a liar. The midrange whenever he would lie his eyes would open wider and he would blink, only for a second, but it happen every single time. He would also add some truth into his lies to try and throw you off. The greater is by far the best at lying. I actually think he gained as much fuel from creating the lie or lies, as he did pulling them off. Even knowing 💯 that he was lying he could actually get into your head and have you believing he was being truthful. I can give you an example so that you understand the greater and the amazing way that he could convince anyone of anything. Let’s just say a greater owed you $50.00, you run into him one day at bar or store. As your talking to him, he brings up the fact that he owes you money. Hey man, I haven’t seen you in awhile. I owe you some money. He reaches into his pocket pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to you. This man is so good, he can actually convince you that the $5.00 bill in your hand is really a $50.00 bill! This is just an exaggeration of course, but they are truly that good at lying! I’m also sure that I do not give adequate examples, but I’m sure you get my drift. 🤣🙃

          1. Joanne says:

            It truly is amazing what they are able to get away with, just by way of being so different from us – that we can’t imagine a person acting in those ways, at all!

          2. foolme1time says:

            I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, I couldn’t sleep last night, and so I found myself outside until dawn. He brought out things inside of me that I didn’t even know was there. He made it ok to be me. To know that was all based on lies from the very beginning, to know that I trusted, loved, and respected him like no other, is simply mind boggling to me. In the last week something inside of me has changed, I feel nothing! I went from having an over abundance of emotion to none, I couldn’t force a tear from eyes to safe my life. I don’t hate him, I don’t want him, I just don’t feel anything. I think the things he brought out in me and that he taught me about myself, I don’t want. I want to forget about them, I want to put them back from where ever he found them. If all that he said was lies, then what he taught me and brought out in me were lies also. I’m afraid they will always come out unscathed and on top. The only thing we can do is to make sure it never happens again. Take care Joanne

          3. Joanne says:

            The best feeling is no feeling at all! Big progress there! But, before you say that everything he said was lies, I’d like to propose the idea that it wasn’t ALL lies. He targeted you for a reason – he saw all your good qualities, and as you said maybe brought out some that you didn’t even know were there. I don’t believe his pointing those out was lies. Sure, there were lies on top of that, and manipulation in the flattery and compliments. But I want to believe that regardless of what THESE IDIOTS said – those things are real. MY good qualities are very real, I just no longer need him to validate that. All of that flattery and build up in the beginning felt wonderful, but that was not what made my good qualities real. You really got me thinking of how much power I gave over to him in such a short amount of time. The fact that when he withdrew, I was so down on myself, my confidence completely shot, simply because I had placed all of my self worth on him and his interest in me. How insane! WE KNOW we have the ability to regulate our own self esteem. WE are not the ones who need constant outside validation to prove we are worthy/have amazing qualities/EXIST, etc. I digress…. anyway, I’m glad things are shifting for you, for us both! Now let’s stay on this path! 🙂

          4. foolme1time says:

            As you probably already know (from being on here) I have been dealing with them my whole entire life. I understand what you are saying, I do not think that they have ever seen are good qualities as such. I believe they only ever seen fuel! Even what he brought out new things in me, to him it was only fuel. They have alternative motives for what they do, especially a greater. They always have a plan in place, and will let nothing stop them for seeing that plan through. You know you have the ability to regulate your own self esteem, I never knew how to do that, I believed I needed there validation to prove I was worthy, when they left I always felt that I had failed once again. I am a Co-Dependent I was dependent on them, as one would fail I would soon end up with another and another. It was a vicious cycle and is one that I know I can always fall back into. It is an addiction, one that I will have to control for the rest of my life. I will always believe that a Co-Dependent and a narcissist is one in the same, and for some reason that I do not yet understand, something stopped that Co-Dependent from becoming a narcissist. It doesn’t matter if you and I do not think the same as far as feelings and what the narcissist was thinking. What matters is we now know what they are and that things are shifting for us both! Yes, let us both stay on the same path! 🥰🙃

          5. Joanne says:

            I understand, FM1T. My intention was to say that I believe you have many good and special qualities. My comment seems like it simplifies things, and I know that we’ve all had different experiences so I didn’t mean to make light of a complex situation(s). I also need to remember that my brief affair doesn’t compare to aftermath that others experience. Anyway, again, fwiw, ***I*** think you have some amazing qualities from what I’ve witnessed from you within this forum. And you’re learning and getting stronger. Maybe my ET is behind my thinking that they see the good qualities, when really all they’re seeing is fuel ⛽️. Maybe it’s something I need to tell myself in order to feel less foolish about it all. Well, as long as we keep moving forward we’ll be ok 😘💕🤗

          6. foolme1time says:

            I know you were not trying to simplify anything. Your affair how ever brief, was just as important as mine or anyone else’s on here! You were hurt and went through the same pain and confusion as anyone else did. If my comment seemed to come off a little strong to you I apologize. Do not feel foolish for the way you think, I do this all the time, although recently things have changed inside of me for some reason and the ET seems to be a lot lower then ever before. Joanne it has taken me a very long time to understand that they see and want only fuel. They have no boundaries, they say and do as they please. I would always fight with myself trying to find something good about them or the way they think, that was my ET once again refusing to see the truth as to what they really are and what they really wanted. You are a very kind person. I am happy for you sweetie, we will keep moving forward one step at a time. Thank you Joanne. 😘🥰🙃

          7. Joanne says:

            FM1T 💪🏼💪🏼😘😘

        2. foolme1time says:

          It is completely ridiculous in are eyes, but not in there’s. I’ve learned to pick my battles and walk away when there is no way of winning with them. They will never tell the truth as we see it. Stay strong dear! 🤗

      2. lisk says:

        “The need for control means anything and all things must be done to maintain control.”

        The Narcissist’s Truth

      3. FYC says:

        That is a great addition for the FAQ:

        Q: Why does the narcissist lie even when it seems unnecessary?
        A: The need for control means anything and all things (including lies) must be done to maintain control.

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