Poll:How Did You Meet The Narcissist(s)?

KTN Poll - H.G Wants To Know Post Graphic


I would like to know the circumstances of you meeting the narcissist or narcissists that you have been entangled with. For most this will be the romantic narcissist, but of course there are those who will have experienced entanglement through a familial connection, through social engagement, work, business and other means besides.

How did this entanglement come about and where was that critical first meeting? Did you happen to meet at a bar one evening or was it your dentist who was providing a service who inveigled his way into your life? Perhaps you met somebody at work and they became the boss from hell or there was a romantic path from that point onwards? Maybe your interaction arose from attending the same church or at the amateur dramatic society? Wherever it happened I am interested to know.

Since you may well have experienced more than one narcissist, you can answer up to as many different times to reflect the multiple ensnarements you have experienced.

Thank you for your participation.


How did you meet the narcissist?

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79 thoughts on “Poll:How Did You Meet The Narcissist(s)?

  1. Claire says:

    Introduced by a co-worker. Her mother in law was his secretary. He was so great they said. He came to my house and a group was there—so harmless it seemed. I didn’t even find him—he was given to me on a platter.

  2. Kiki Romano says:

    First time at age of 18, he was 21, at a church dance. He came up and hit on me. We were engaged within several months. He was controlling and violent and very jealous. He would try to make me jealous of other women I finally dumped him after I met someone else who I liked more and who treated me a lot better.

    Then, 30 years later reconnected through his niece. She texted him a photo of me and we started to talk. I knew that he would fall for me again because it crushed him when I broke up with him. He was married. I told him that we could only be friends but he would not stop pursuing me and after a couple months I let my guard down. He told me he was in the process of a divorce.

    It was all lies.

  3. Alice says:

    I met both mine (an inferior first and a mid range secondly) at the gym.

  4. bostongirl13 says:

    HG, I met my narcopath on a BDSM site.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A hunting ground.

      1. bostongirl13 says:

        This sure isn’t your first rodeo hunting, and it wasn’t mine being the prey

      2. Claire says:

        Said no hair pulling ever again..

  5. Bibi says:

    I was just whining about the Mid Ranger to an empath friend after feeling depressed over something involving a photo of someone traveling and being happy while I am sitting here in my bunny pajamas covered in bread crumbs.

    Here is my friend’s opinion on the Mid Ranger:

    “He abandoned you because he was an empty, weak willed, lazy piece of shit.”

    It’s good to have good friends. I don’t have many, but those I do, are good.

  6. Whitney says:

    At every social group I pair up with the most narcissistic men but I’m aware thanks to HG

  7. mai51 says:

    I met both of mine at bars…. both nights I was feeling so centred, confident and beautiful…. you know those nights that you feel so magnetic and in the moment?

    I held the door open for the first one…. he stumbled in, and half fell on me… our eyes met…. bamn…. I thought his appraising look was focused on me, but I think he just saw an energy that he could draw on….

    The second was in a gay bar…. I’d been out all day with a friend and feeling gorgeous, and buzzed….. I was at the bar ordering us beers when I heard a voice behind me order a drink… his voice captivated me, so I turned and we made eye contact…. by all logic, he shouldn’t have been into women, but he grabbed his beer and sat outside to vape and play chess on his phone…. intriguing…. I followed with my friend and was instantly captivated…. he held me off whilst he finished his game, but then asked me over…. it was game on…. I took his eccentricity and his quiet confidence to be interesting and appealing…. I fell…. again…. and this time hard….

    Our relationship was only intriguing and new, as long as I saw it that way…. there was no substance, specialness, or intimacy…. it was just a drug dealer in a bar that was at the time single and meeting a different class of supply…. three years of fucktardary and madness….the hook…. the bloody hook….

    Luckily I was the dirty empath with both, and always had a stable love to call my real home..

    Lesson learnt. When feeling amazing and awesome, focus on your friends and leave these powerful attractions alone.

    There’s only one way to fall…..and that fall ain’t going to be pretty!

  8. Sk says:

    Oh worked at the same company for 6 years. I left said company for a promotion at another firm and his lieutenant, and my friend -randomly. Ahem “randomly” tells me that he is interested in dating. I don’t blame her – just another unwitting player in his sick game. He was a single, upstanding, charming person from our limited interactions at previous job. I definitely found him attractive- and he’s truly single! A catch, right? Certainly never heard a bad thing about him. Actually has a stellar reputation there professionally, and seems deserved. So I came in totally and blindly trusting. If he had been a stranger I would have had my guard up of course. He naturally had been doing tons of research on me for his arsenal of future abuse (who does that!!!! – oh sociopaths) knowing the devaluation was inevitable. Not only inevitable, the best and most satisfying part of a relationship for him. Sadistic to the core in his intimate relationships. Otherwise a pillar of society. I’m wise now- did not know this dual life was possible at least not to this extent.

  9. Debs says:

    Hi all

    I met my narcissist when I was working in a bar as a second job. He was with a friend of mine. We all went out to a bar afterwords which was open late. I didn’t really notice my narc to be honest. He wasn’t my type. He was quite quiet and I remember him snogging the face off some girl earlier on in the night. Later that night he asked for my number. I gave it to him god now how I wish I hadn’t! I think wine played a part in that stupid decision!

    He rang me the next day. Wanted to meet up and I met him in town on his lunch break. I always had this niggle about him but I put it down to him not being my usual type but I was drawn to him as he seemed so unassuming. He liked what I liked and he said all the right things and treated me right to begin with. I thought he’s not like other guys, he seems really sweet, shy , childlike, protective almost and I carried on seeing him.

    Stories started to come out about his time away at darts and I asked him about it as it was the polar opposite of the man in front of me and he always said these people don’t really know him. I always believed what he told me yet the niggles were still there.

    After a few months in, maybe 6 months he started talking about women he’d been with, women he still saw when he went away. He’d also tell me about the weekends away and how all the men cheated on their wives etc etc. Slowly I became insecure despite trusting him and then he would use this against me and say I was paranoid, clingy, he couldn’t have female friends etc etc.

    Then the withdrawing started, the hot and cold behaviour. I left him he cried, I went back. Then he was the man I knew from the beginning again. Then the withdrawing would begin again, like I was in the way, a chore. I was irritating, too needy. The rages started. My fault I made him angry he said, no one else had this effect on him. Then he’d be all nice again. I was imagining it. It must be me he said it was me I made him angry. He was never like this with others or in front of others just when we were alone. It must be me. He said it was. He’s a good guy everyone says how great he is. Rinse, recycle, repeat repeatedly over more than 10 years.

    Gone was the bubbly, talkative out going woman and in its place was a doormat, complaint, isolated from friends, sat at home waiting for him to be free to come and do anything with me like he used to when he was there every day. If I wasn’t free he always was and boy was I made to feel so selfish for seeing friends and having a better time without him as he repeatedly said. So I stopped doing anything expect seeing him. It was selfish of me to ask to do something I had to wait until he was free and told me. He could make plans and set them in stone with everyone else, he did this in the beginning with me too and then he stopped and went so cold then back to normal again then cold again. Like being on a rollercoaster I guess. I feel so sad thinking of the times I’d be waiting for his call putting my life on hold for him. When he did call he could be really nice or he could be moody, distant, blunt, get mad at me for no reason and then hang up on me and give me the silent treatment. I’d be sobbing then he’d eventually come round and act like nothing had happened. He always said I was imagining things, I was too sensitive, I was going crazy blah blah blah!

    You all know how it goes. Then cheating, repeated cheating. I just couldn’t prove it till the last one and love bombing began after that, followed by more lies, more mindf**kery until I said no more and then he threatened to kill me in his car during the most terrifying rage I’ve ever seen. Only for him to be his childlike self once I was home. I said no and more abuse was screamed at me before he drove off. Then I blocked him and the stalking began and smearing and rubbing the new supply in my face. The humiliation was unbearable and also the what the F has happened and who the hell was this person he was someone I never knew and then realising it was lies all lies. No closure, no good memories just the realisation I’d lost over 10 years of my life to a very good conman. Finding HG’s website and reading the posts was like a lightbulb going off this was my ex narc these descriptions these behaviours were him!

    Recovery is a long long tough process but I’m surviving one day at a time and I hope soon it gets easier.

    1. geyserempath says:

      Oh Debs…what a terrifying rollercoaster you’ve been on. I am hoping you recover quickly. Hugs!

      1. Debs says:

        Thanks geyserempath.

        It is a bit shitty. Also such a big shock. What I describe here in replies to HG posts make him seem like a monster but he wasn’t either he was quiet, immature sometimes, very childlike, soppy. I remember how he would do puppy dog eyes and pull a solemn face and change his voice all soft it was like how a child looks at you when they’ve done wrong and are trying to get you back in their good books. I think back to that now and get chills up my spine. His face wasn’t like that during a rage it’s quite scary.

        That’s what’s so hard about all of this. You have the childlike soft person and in the blink of an eye you get the cold distant person who barely talks to you and when they do it’s like they’re bored. When you ask if everything is ok you get told yes I love you I’m tired etc.

        Then they become loving again throw a few loaves of bread at you as crumbs to keep you on board just that little bit longer while they behind your back live a different life trying to secure new supply. Using you for their own sick game whatever that is. I’ll never know I doubt even he knows.

        Mine used to text her in front of me, he’d text her while lying in bed with me with his arm round me. When he went away for his darts he’d send me pictures of his room the same room he was sharing with her that night. If he went to work parties he would send me pictures and loving messages first then forward the exact same message and photos to her straight after minus the I love you’s and xxx’s.

        That’s what I struggle with the most the absolute cruelty of his actions, the fact to him there was nothing wrong in that. It’s mindf**kery.

        I do love the fact then when I caught him out and he denied there being someone else he showed me her wedding photos to reassure me and yet that one action was how I got the truth about him as I contacted the (ex) husband. I wish I’d seen my ex narc face that night lol. His new supply is 16 years younger than him. Lives over 3 hours away by plane and she believe he’s the love of her life the soul mate who will never hurt her etc etc. He even said to me before the actual proper rage discard what a great girl she is and how she’s so much like me and we would get on really well and he can’t not have me in his life and he told her this and she agreed it’s ok for him to see me when he’s not seeing her. He really worked his magic there huh?

        The whole thing is bonkers let alone trying to process over 10 years of lies and the realisation he was a narcissist.

        All the times I cried, all the times I believed it was me, all the times I was silent too scared to communicate anything incase he left me, how I put my life on hold and let my whole life revolve around him, constantly trying to change myself so he’d like me again. I cannot believe I was that stupid.

        Even when I write things here it sounds bonkers the whole thing was and is bonkers and the coldness on discard I’ve never experience from another human being before. The dark eyes, the red face, the sheer hatred as the abuse came out of his mouth. It’s crazy.

        Thank you for the kind words x

  10. TH says:

    I was a widow and went into his store because his jewelry store was having a big sale. He has his best associate come up to me and stay right by me. He was kind and the owner came over to introduce himself. A few time a year the 3 of us would go to dinner. When he had events at the store his associate would always call and ask me to come because the owner wanted me to be there. The man was married so I thought nothing of it. Always the perfect gentleman. Even owns a book written by Miss Manners so he always knew what to say or do. He was born in the Middle East.
    For almost 4 years this was only a friendship, but now I realize how much he was studying me and finding out all kinds of information. They would invite me to the store EVERY Saturday to see them and have wine, cheese and fruit. He even had me bring my two Boxer sofa with me. After almost 4 years, did that night happen one evening after the store had closed. We were alone and he gave me a BIG hug (and he was a hugger with men and women), but tonight it was different and I could just feel it. Then he kissed me. We were both passionate kissers. I told him we had to stop because he was married. Then he told me the sob story of after their second child, she refused sexual activity with him. Now I know I should of walked out that door, but I believed him. He got divorced 2 1/2 years ago and now that he is divorced, he is letting his masks fly off because he didn’t have his wife to rage at anyone or his 2 daughters. Successful, smart, extreme gentleman,
    Great tast in food and wine, loved my dogs, etc,etc……I had a beautiful loving husband who died 4 years earlier. He left me very well taken care of so money was never an issue. He saw how I missed his love and this narc of a man studied me for 4 YEARS to suck me in . For 11 years I gave my love to a man that tried and successfully MIRRORED that love I told him my late husband gave me. Thank God HG provides such enlightening but honest information. Like it or not HG I am very grateful for your sometimes brutal but honest and REAL information!!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You’re most welcome

    2. empath007 says:

      How wonderful your late husband was the kind of man who could give you the love you so deserved 🙂 that is beautiful.

  11. Nymphedora says:

    Went on a trip to London with my big sister and her boyfriend, arranged by her school but still allowing them to bring close family members. He was in the same school, but another class. We alle got out of a bus at a marked in Camden, and I heard him say “so here we are, looking like a bunch of tourists.” and I replied “well, isn’t that in fact what we are?” He looked at me with this insulted look, but later on he found us at the marked at just sort of lached on to us for the duration of the trip. I offcourse fell for him, and stayed in that nightmare for 14 years.
    Back then he actually told me, that he had in fact been insulted by the comment I made to him regarding us being tourists, and thought I was a medeling bitch. I suppose it was challenge fuel perhaps? Should have listened to the warning.

    1. empath007 says:

      What’s the saying? When people show you who they are… believe them the first time.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        It is a terrible saying, it does not work with narcissists.

        1. empath007 says:

          I’m not so sure. When I met I colleague once they reminded me of a sociopath I used to work with instantly. As soon as I shook her hand. And I was right. Except they are a lesser/Mid-Range.

          Also, I knew there was something off with my narc I dated too. There’s lots more detail to that. But I don’t want to write it all down.

          But you’d be surprised what intuition can tell you. And what people notice of
          Your kind. Because we do notice.

          Empaths have a very strong sense to read people. The problem is (as you’ve outlined time and time again) is that it comes from an emotional place instead of a logical one.

          Also, I had no language or formal understanding of why I felt this way about these people and why I was reacting the way I was… thanks to
          Now I do. Thanks to you. And it feels amazing to finally have proof of my feelings.

        2. Bibi says:

          Thank you, HG for seeing through that Maya Angelou level junk. This is why I connect with your kind–because they don’t fall for that cliched platitude garbage.

          (Please know this is nothing against Empath007, as I know the sentiment has good intention, but that sort of shit grates on me.)

          As a side note, I get so frustrated when I follow pages that offer sound emotional wisdom, etc. but then will post the shittiest poem and not see how bad it is b/c they are blinded by the emotion in the message.

          And yet, Rilke was very likely a narcissist. I will read him 1000x over sentimental doggerel.

          1. Claire says:

            Please tell me Maya wasn’t a narcissist HG.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Haven’t analysed but can say that wretched quote is misleading.

          3. Claire says:

            I have always liked it—quite a bit. The mister kept dropping clues and I kept writing them off. Where has it landed me? It has cost me dearly and there is immeasurable damage to my oldest daughter. (And potentially more..) It’s about getting your head straight and being logical. I didn’t have to know the word narcissist—asshole could have easily taken its place. Sure, I know now—and it’s unfortunately a little too late. My friends ex calls and gives me his analytical chemistry PhD resume to come fix stuff and I know the entire interaction is likely going to be riddled with pompous bullshit. No thanks. He gave me a preview— I don’t need the rest because I
            prefer the persona (at least) of being interesting without one’s CV. That is why the quote means something to me.

          4. WhoCares says:

            I never used to like this saying, but paired with HG’s work, I actually like it better now.

            The key word is “show”…now that I know what to look for; I wait for the *evidence* of what people are. I watch and listen VERY carefully and no longer assume people are what they immediately present to the world or me. Narcissists will *always* show themselves eventually – no one automatically earns my attention or empathy anymore.

          5. HG Tudor says:


          6. WhoCares says:

            Thank-you HG.

          7. Claire says:

            Excellent way of putting it! I was so afraid no one would “see” though a guy that looks and smells good.. The smear campaign of how inept I am as a human being. How crazy, how whatever.. He signed papers giving me the kids nearly 2/3 of the time! So, I’m crazy, horrible, awful, deplorable and he is a humble and gentle victim.. Yet, magically his signature on temporary orders gave away his time to a crazy psycho. All the evidence so need really! I honestly think he believes he has them 50% of the time! I also believe he has gone blind because of his interpersonal relationships. His narcissism defines his every step. This is about many other people though. All these pernicious fucks out there…

  12. Bree says:

    I approached my narc at the bar. He was in a relationship but I guess he prefers it when women fall into his lap instead of pursuing them.

    1. lisk says:

      My narc ex sure preferred/prefers it!

      He targets and sets it up that way.

      I’ll never put myself forward like that again!

  13. geyserempath says:

    Through work. He worked with my husband. He flirted and I thought his attentions were a bit over the top. He is a LMV narc and lives with his parents and we would go to his house for dinners. He has few friends and his parents enthusiastically embrace anyone who will play with their son. One night after dinner, he caught me in the kitchen and thanked me for a great night and kissed me. That was the beginning of an ordeal that I was not prepared for. My own fault, but I had never encountered a narcissist before. Now I see them everywhere. Lesson learned.

  14. Joanne says:

    I voted social media and other.

    We knew each other in elementary school, and reconnected as adults on social media so I think both areas apply in this instance.

  15. Courtney Westbrook says:

    I met mine at freshman orientation in College. It’s all very sad looking back on it all now.

  16. Chihuahuamum says:

    I chose at a social event but it was work related. We both work in the healthcare sector so this gathering had to do with that.
    We then started sharing online a certain site which i wont divulge but it too was crucial in the formation of our romantic relationship. Looking back now i can see where it was and probably still is a hunting ground for him. I went no contact with the said site bc i found he used it to triangulate, gaslight and play games which were all very toxic. Were still involved but outside of work only.
    I looked up to him bc of the type of work he was doing. It came off as being empathetic in nature but i see now it isnt. Its purely for the sake of a paycheck and the praise.
    I can see where he probably years before he met me knew what he wanted in life and set forth. He didnt want to marry or have kids. He wanted to have many sources yet remain single what better way than to be involved with married women? Its the perfect scenerio. At least he knows himself and what he wants ill give him that. That line has never been crossed its always been understood friends and lovers only. He supports me being married and encourages it. I used to get upset why he wasnt jealous of my spouse. Its because im his bird in a cage as long as im married. Insecure only if i start to focus too much in my marriage but no he does not want me for himself in that context. He wants me there as a side and i guess in a way thats what ive wanted as well from him. Weve complimented each other in that regard but its full of pitfalls. Insecurity does rear its ugly head and then theres trust which you can never trust a narc. I trust him to a degree but im aware im dealing with a wildcard even after 8 yrs together. It scares me but i try to push it aside and be happy. I hear HG saying take charge of your own destiny and control your own outcome but doing so would mean losing the narc. One day im sure ill wish i took that advice and did the logical thing but for now i try to live life happily and keep things steady.

    1. geyserempath says:

      oh, chihuahuamum, you wrote: “He wanted to have many sources yet remain single what better way than to be involved with married women? Its the perfect scenerio.” You just summed up my situation perfectly and it touches on something I had always surmised. Thank you.

      1. Chihuahuamum says:

        Hi geyserempath…yes its from i think fear. They are afraid to commit bc deep down they know itll go down in flames. They also know they get bored and like variety. Marriage is too much of an obstacle. I am glad he knows himself well enough to not marry and to not have children. Some people are not cut out for it and knowing yourself well enough and not messing up a childs life are in itself admirable. This i do respect him for. If a lot of those narc parents out there didnt have children wed have less narcissism.
        Hes chosen a lifestyle best suited for him despite the abuse his npd brings.

  17. Lillith says:

    I met him in my office. I was his Housing Advocate.

  18. Bibi says:

    I met my 2 narcy bfs in university. Both Elitists. One while at uni and the other while taking a summer course. He followed me out to my car on our 2nd day of class and asked where I was planning to have lunch. The uni bf pretended to forget my name later that night, but I knew he knew it. He got close to me by finding my roommate at some function, which led her back to me. Both criticized the way I dressed. The uni guy b/c I wasn’t stylish enough (I attended high school in uniform so I was partially clueless, I suppose) and the other thought I dressed ‘too hipster’.

    The Mid Ranger Elitist I encountered online. He had a blog and was writing copious amounts of flattering material about me and the Lesser Somatic I encountered through a mutual acquaintance, where he later approached me on social media.

    The Mid Ranger very much wanted to strike up a correspondence/friendship and how could I resist this person who appreciated my work so much and seemed to ‘get’ me? Interesting how by the end, I felt I could not communicate anything to him without over explaining myself (he always imbued negativity in what I said–i.e. constant word salad) and also that this person who so seemed to ‘get me’ by the end we literally shared zero values in common.

    How do you go from sharing everything in common to nothing in common? Because it was all fake.

  19. .💜. says:

    Living in the same neighborhood, met through mutual friends.

  20. Met mine on an online dating site. Now looking back, the ‘moves’ are all so predictably narcissistic. I corresponded for a bit, then he disappeared and went silent!! (later I found out he was trying a reconciliation – hoover – with his wife) then reappeared back on the dating site messaging me with ‘I dont know what happened, you must have stopped talking to me’. So not even taking accountability for that. It is all so ‘them’. Talk about red flags flapping loudly in the wind now I know what they are (thanks HG). I wasnt particularly interested in him so hadnt been bothered but after that he hooked me in after a few more messages. when I think about that, he must have been trying different subjects until he found the right one that flicked a switch in me. The message that worked was ‘ I dont want to be sitting in my rocking chair thinking about all the good mortgage payments I made’, which I later discovered, was precisely ALL he does!!! Oh its all so obvious now. Further down the line I caught him out on the dating site despite us being an item. This time, his victims were given several lists of 10 questions back and forth between them, and then he’d flick them over to whatsapp pretty quick after that. There was definitely a set formula.

    1. Joanne says:

      What does this mean, ‘ I dont want to be sitting in my rocking chair thinking about all the good mortgage payments I made.’ Was he implying that he wanted to live some adventurous life?

      Mine used some variation this on me a couple times after the fact: ‘I dont know what happened, you must have stopped talking to me’. It was MY fault. Right.

      I’m SURE mine was all over dating sites too. And who know what he had going on on WhatsApp too. I noticed every time I looked, he had been active within the last 4 or so minutes.

      1. Intrepid Traveller says:

        Hi Joanne, yes he definitely wanted to suggest to me that he wanted to be something other than your average 2.2 family life man. I led a somewhat quirky lifestyle at that time, and he hadn’t grabbed my attention until he made that statement and I think that had been obvious to him. Would be interesting if i could remember other ‘hooks’ he had tried to get my interest before that. And of course he is the complete opposite of an adventurer and fought (and succeeded) to get my quirky lifestyle into a predictable rut he preferred. I reckon he shifted people on to WhatsApp so he could see if they had read his messages and how quickly they responded. Plus he could control when he would read them as opposed to texts which if he was with me i would expect him to read. Always a reasoning behind the machinations to the extent of predictability- you just learn that bit too late!!

  21. KellyD says:

    I met my burden on my commute. I stupidly smiled, thereby inviting him into my life.
    I would never date someone I work with, and this is a big place. Still, I don’t want to ever be in the situation where I’d have to see him at my place of employment after a breakup. Ugh oh hell no. The commute sightings will be bad enough when I finally jump off. In fact, that’s probably my biggest anxiety.

    1. WiserNow says:

      I laughed out loud when I read your description of a narc as “my burden” 😂
      That’s a good way to describe them. They’re like a ball and chain sometimes. Like little kids who haven’t grown up and are still hanging on to someone’s imaginary apron strings.

      1. KellyD says:

        YES WiserNow!! Friggin’ ball and chain. Like a little evil kid. Sometimes I get so frustrated by his shit behavior I want to punch him in the face.

        1. WiserNow says:

          I totally get what you mean KellyD. They’re constantly manipulating and that is so frustrating. I’ve had the feeling of wanting to punch the narcs in my life in the face too. It would be so satisfying! It would probably be like a fuel surge to them though.

          1. KellyD says:

            Yeah, wiser, I don’t go there though, because who knows what would come my way if I actually punched him in the face lol Someone really should though.

  22. Bekah B says:

    Other–high school..

  23. Veronique Jones says:

    No one answer for this my family have many narcissists I have met them through family friends social events tertiary education facilities shopping church pubs at work the gym walking my dog hospital they definitely see me coming I don’t meet people on line or dating sites never trusted them but I get a lot of messages from people telling me how beautiful and wonderful they think I am etc pretty much they are everywhere

  24. Omj says:

    Our first call was so technical … we met on Tinder and there was a series of questions – I knew what was going on. I knew he was qualifying me.
    Than he started to call and text everyday.
    Went for a few more qualifying diner and here we are … a couple years later- shelved- unshelved and merry go round !

    1. geyserempath says:

      Omj, I am so sorry you, too, are shelved and unshelved. It is a terrible experience. Take care!

      1. Omj says:

        Someone here once wrote that she started to enjoy the shelving and do what she wants of her life when that occurrs. I have very good residual benefits with my Marc so I got to enjoy the shelving and sometimes don’t even want to go and see him – manage to find real excuses- but can’t do it too many times in a row… :))

  25. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Ironically, this actually made me laugh, because it was thru our “youngest” we met the weasel
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  26. lisk says:

    Wow. Work is #1 so far.

    Not that surprising, if I think about it.

    Work is a place where narcs can target/monitor/stalk you without you realizing it.

    I’ll keep this in mind in my new job, for sure.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed, most people have to work at some point in their lives, it is also where people spend a lot of their time and of course you can encounter work, business (say the client or customer), a familial (family business) or a romantic narcissist there.

      Hazardous workplace ahead!

      1. Better Call HG says:

        Suffering from emotional distress because your employer hired a narcissist as your co-worker? Better Call Saul (and HG)!

      2. lisk says:

        Thanks for the warning, HG!

      3. empath007 says:

        That should really be outlined in the companies Health and Safety Act.

    2. Claire says:

      I hope you like your job Lisk!

  27. jessrnny says:

    The Lesser I met when we were kids. His uncle married my mom. The MMRN I met at a bar down the road from my house. The Greater I met at a fancy Christmas party.

  28. E. B. says:

    I love this post’s artwork.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      HG approves. What until you see what is in the pipeline for you lucky people, I am currently working with a graphic designed and received some excellent artwork today for a project I am working on.

      1. Desirée says:

        But will you be wearing a fedora in those as well?

      2. foolme1time says:

        Only and always the best for HG! HG as you work with people as with your graphics, is it online or do they actually see you in person?

        1. Desirée says:

          I would guess for something like graphic design, he could hire a freelancer and have them provide him with a selection of designs to choose from without meeting them in person. I hope they keep that elegant intelligence agent aesthetic, I’m quite fond of it.

        2. Claire says:

          He’s dressed up as Dog the Bounty Hunter!

      3. MB says:

        Oh goody! I’m just in time for some new artwork. Lucky indeed.

      4. Whitney says:

        One of your many talents HG is you are artistic

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you.

  29. SMH says:

    Top three! Through these polls I am beginning to realize how common *I* am, never mind the narcs.

  30. Karen Crawshaw says:

    Having identified, educated and removed myself from my nex i’ve realised there’s a significant minority of narcissists/other cluster B’s that lurk in mental health self help groups/courses/charities. I’m currently observing with a new wary fascination bourne of experience and education the new overt narc who has joined our mental health circle, it’s definitely a ‘good’ hunting ground for them!

    1. KellyD says:

      That’s like someone becoming an ob/gyn just for the views.

      1. Claire says:

        I do lots of pelvic checks and penis checks as a nurse and I’m not seeing these parts at their best!!

  31. Pheonix says:

    At a music competition, he was a sociopath and played the same instrument as me. He latched on to that. I also had a lesser narc do the same, he was a musician and used to Hoover me by sending me information about ‘new gear’ etc. Because of HG I was able figure out exactly what they were. I haven’t dealt with any narcs in well over a year now because I know how to spot them and I learned to separate logic and emotional thinking. My empathy now has a switch.

    1. empath007 says:

      Musicians are a world mixed with empaths and narcs… dangerous combination.

  32. E. B. says:

    Desirée, they are everywhere.

    1. Desirée says:

      Like rats in a questionable pizzeria. Always trying to steal the cheese.

  33. Desirée says:

    I’m going to need a multiple choice for this one.

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