A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 51

toaster - letter to the narc


Dear Toaster  Breath,

I give you this name due to you having partaken of the twelve years of my wares.

I need to inform you that I found your Refridgerator’s phone number. After she and I had lunch a month ago, she slipped your phone away, and cracked your “Set as Secret” numbers, while you were Zannied Up and passed out. She almost duct taped you to the living room table. Luckily I talked her out of it.

We called your Washer, Dryer, Stove and finally your Can Opener. After lunch last week, we discussed your behavior, and you may have started noticing..one by one your Appliances mal-functioning.

Fear not, there are pictures.


The Toaster
Patricia J

P.S. Your Laundry is done. The ashes are in the fireplace.

18 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 51

  1. Asp Emp says:

    I loved it! Absolutely loved this letter! It’s fooking hilarious!

    And, the image…..laughing…..

    I used to take my faulty appliances to my garage and apply the sledge-hammer to them……laughing…..

  2. Oracle says:

    Beautiful! Bravo! I love this letter. Simple and to the point

  3. Caron says:

    This is a good letter. Really funny. Glad you are recovering so well. Gives me hope!

  4. Presque Vu says:

    This is a brilliant letter! Very clever!
    Well on the way to recovery I’d say 🙂

  5. empath007 says:

    Yes!!!!! Victims teaming up together!!!! More of this in life please! Just makes my day!

    1. Joanne says:

      I wish I could team up with the other appliances!

      1. empath007 says:

        Me too! But I don’t see it as useful in my case.

        1. Joanne says:

          Mine either. Except it would be the cherry on the sundae to have that final piece of validation that he is what he is.

    2. lisk says:

      I am very tempted to do this in real life. To reach out to his other victims. I know who they are. I know I could only reach out to the exes, though, no one current.

      My gosh would it be fun to crack the Secret Code to his phone!

  6. Audra denton says:

    Ah that’s so funny

  7. Kathleen says:

    LOL! Funny as hell! And I love the picture…

  8. KellyD says:

    Great letter! I know it’s serious but it did make me smile. Good for you. I hope you stay free. Everyone here inspires me.

  9. EC says:

    This letter by far is one of the best. I remember it from last year. I’m the blender and a friend I assisted in getting out from her narc said she is the crock pot. I can switch my speed fast (supernova). She waits the narc out…slow simmered crock pot.
    She’s taught me to sit back and wait for the narcs to come. Just sit…wait.

    The Seminoles in Florida did something similar to the British and US soldiers. Waited in the deep swamps for the enemy. Took them out one by one. None of these soldiers came out from the swamps. They just waited like snipers.
    To this day…the Seminoles have NEVER signed a peace treaty with the US or Britain.
    The both of us are part Muscogee Creek. So we’ve are learning the old school of the Native Americans. Just wait…let them come to us.
    There’s a law here…stand your ground. If I’m threatened in anyway…I have every right to make that narc or any attacker…graveyard dead. Justified in the eyes of our laws.
    So…come and get me bitches. Hahaha!!! I got something for them too.

    1. lisk says:

      LOL. I have been waiting…and he arrived. But I did not seize the power today. And I had the power of a medium-sized SUV.

      I kid you not—I was driving home from work and there was narcx about 10 feet away from me, walking across the street to eat at one our “our”old restaurants (which I avoid except when I know he’s out of town).

      Yes, he was walking right in front of my car…I had to slow down…and he saw me and I saw him and both of us pretended not to see each other. No greeting. No wave. Nothing.

      I had the power to run him right over. But I resisted. And resisting was quite easy. I rather enjoyed the control of my response…or lack thereof.

      I feel very narc-proof after that little episode.

      (Honestly, he looked miserable and like crap. Probably angry that others weren’t letting him cross the road. I almost…almost…feel sorry for him. He did not look like the happy loved-up person I have been imagining him to be.)

      1. EC says:

        Very good.

        These things will think it’s ok to pass by or get close. Dumb move. I got paperwork with details on them. Plus…a few secured people in my circle. Those things might kill me but not before I make one of their heads a canoe.
        No time for courtroom with that.

        The movie “Tombstone” with Wyatt Earp is a classic example for how to deal with creatures. Look up..”head a canoe” or “bitch slap” on vid clips about Tombstone.
        If I die standing my ground…so be it. Heaven awaits. At least one of these things will go down with me. I’m not playing with them. Nor do i hide either. I welcome death with open arms. I have heaven and the Almighty Father with Jesus to serve.

        So i wait.
        Nothing i do is premeditated either.

        Remember HG said…they’ll return.
        I’ll be waiting. Patiently. 😁

      2. empath007 says:

        Nice job! I always worry about my first run In with him. I just have this urge to jump into a lecture 🤣🤣 I cant help it… it’s who I am ! I won’t care
        One day. Once I don’t care. The power shifts back to me. Can’t wait for that!

  10. mai51 says:

    This letter is absolute gold….

    Zannied up…. I can so relate 🙂 🙂

  11. Joanne says:

    Amazing 📺🙌🏼

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