The Heart Hooks – No. 15
11 thoughts on “The Heart Hooks – No. 15”
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Red flag
HG, considering I heard literally ALL of these heart hooks. I have a pretty hard time believing mine did not operate from a very cognitive level. This was clearly not instinctual and a very well practiced habit. To say he was operating out of “instinct” in my case can simply not be true.
Anyways, lesson learnt. None of this bullshit actually exists. Fantasies are just that.
empath007
I’m with you on this one. Mine mostly fits the UMRe criteria but there are many many things he’s said and done that seem very much calculated to me. Of course, it feels better for me to believe it’s instinctual (feels less personal). But you’re right, lesson learned and it doesn’t really matter anyway.
Ya, all the other ones were insane, demon spawns… (so, he said).
I never got this but i did get triangulation covertly. Once he called one of his exs “bubbley” and even admitted to her once in awhile dropping a hello email. I remember how awful i felt and i told him how i didnt want to hear about his exes ever again. The reality is this web of sources never go away theyre always there. Shes probably but one of many he draws from. They need that safety blanket to fall back on and “supplement” with.
Yep, got this one! ✅
Funny though, because in the way it was told to me, I was being made aware that there were others. He had to make me aware that other candidates existed but they “didn’t matter” since I was so far above them. Of course I didn’t make that connection in the moment, but I see the reasoning now 🙄
Hi joanne….lol this is exactly what my narc was doing covertly letting me know about “others”. Basically keep pleasing me bc i have other options. Its so obvious now! Its almost laughable how they pass it off as innocent but sending a direct message very passive aggressive behaviour.
CM
It is SO comical to look back on now. They make it into some unspoken contest for their love. Such a pathetic, immature joke 😂
Joanne
Your comment brought back a memory if something one of my ex narcissists said. I can’t go into full detail but I think you will still understand it. He was an instructor at a sport I was involved in ( so was I actually) some of the Mother’s would go out of there way to get his attention, but this one was so obvious and he was definitely getting into the attention. After everyone left he noticed my mood had changed, when I told him why, he said “ If you really love me, then you should fight for me.” My reply, (I did not know what he was ) was, “If you really love me, then I shouldn’t have to fight for you.” Obviously not the answer he was looking for! Hahaha 🙃
FM1T
Yes! I think they really want to see the claws come out. Whether you actively went at that mother or expressed jealousy or insecurity in her presence, they want to see it!
I failed this test too, because when I was being covertly triangulated, the only thing I focused on was him saying that I was the front runner, so it didn’t even occur to me to be jealous 🙄 I’m sure this would’ve had a different effect had our affair lasted longer and I made it into the devaluation stage.
Joanne
I believe I’m finally starting to realize that whatever we do, be it good, bad, or indifferent, we will provide some type of fuel. If we do not, then they will just go somewhere else to find it.