Technology is a boon to our kind. It enables us to reach more people than ever before for the purpose of a quick squirt of fuel or as part of the orchestrated campaign to seduce our next victim who will be our primary source. The prevalence of social media platforms, blogs, chatrooms and the like provides us with a ready audience for us to declare our brilliance. Whether it is a pithy tweet, a photograph of our latest cycling adventure on Facebook, the culinary achievement that has been shared on Instagram, there are so many ways to herald our magnificence. We do not need to be near to these people. The reach is millions and therefore when we receive a praiseworthy comment, a like or love indication from the relevant button then that sudden dose of fuel comes our way. It is an almost instant hit. Fire something out across the electronic ether and in a matter of moments a reliable dose of fuel will come winging its way back. What a wonderful and simple method.
Even better is the use of our computers to search out targets, vet their online information to ascertain whether they would be suitable for our purposes and then to mine for information which can be used in the seduction of our targets. It is all there. The computer us used to find the information which forms the bedrock of our campaigns and it is also the instrument of our campaigns. So many repeated ways to bombard somebody with our supposed love. Our incessant application and monitoring. The ways in which we can keep in touch with different prospective victims as we assess who will be best. The way we can develop your replacement as we feel that your positive fuel is waning and your devaluation is just around the corner. The way we can triangulate you with a piece of machinery as our eyes remain locked on the screen as we engage in our online flirtations and gathering of fuel. The computer is truly our friend but it is also very useful for you to understand what you are dealing with.
Our use of the computer is a telling indicator of who you are dealing with. Whether it is a tablet, laptop, PC or mobile ‘phone (after all you are really carrying a small computer in your bag or pocket these days) you can expect to find similar secretive and furtive behaviour from our kind when it comes to the use of the computer to further our machinations. The computer is the nerve centre of our operations and as such it is something which we will guard. Accordingly, you should be aware of activity and behaviour such as: –
- Closing the computer down when you are nearby;
- Switching screens when you are nearby;
- Refusing to let you use the device;
- If you are able to use the device, we will not allow you to know the password and instead will enter it for you;
- If you are able to use the device, we will hover over you whilst you do so;
- If you are able to use the device you will find that the e-mail account is either locked or is empty, the search history is clear, there is no predictive search element in the search bar which may give away previous and frequent searches and documents are locked down.
- If you are given unfettered access to a computing device then it is highly likely that we use a different device for our dark works which you do not know about, otherwise there is no way that we will allow you to use such a device so freely. In this instance you need to have identified other red flags to indicate it is more than likely that you are engaging with a narcissist to raise the prospect of us using two computers. If there are no other red flags your unfettered access to the computer will purely be as a consequence of the use having nothing to hide and he or she will not use a secret device.
You would do well to consider the computing habits of the person that you are with and especially so if you have suspicions that you are dealing with one of our kind. Understand that the computer (in its various forms) forms the platform for so much of what we do. Gathering new victims and seducing them, organising and executing your devaluation, orchestrating the smear campaign against you. You should know that the computer is a tool which is used against you and you can utilise it as a barometer of our attitude towards you which will then in turn allow you to understand what you can expect to happen.
So much of what we do occurs through the electronic medium because that allows us full reign to portraying what we wish to portray to the world at large. It allows significant access, it provides a platform for heralding our achievements and it is not an exaggeration to state that it forms the engine room of our activities.
We will never allow you access to our computers but if there is a shared device then you should look out for two things. The first is that after we have used it, our e-mail inbox, browsing history and messaging will be cleaner than a contagious diseases research lab. This situation will persist for some time. The second is that when there is something to read in that inbox, from that browsing history and those messages you ought to know that we wanted you to see it because your devaluation has begun and this is the electronic bait that has been set to provoke you. Bear in mind, this is just what we are prepared for you to see for the purposes of gathering fuel. What is really going on our devices that we will not allow you access to (and the ones you do not even know about) is far, far worse.
37 thoughts on “Suspect Computing”
Ha haha… closing computer down when nearby… ya, so familiar. Classic. Ha haha.
I truly don’t understand that. When people say “I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings” I think: They obviously have no issue hurting yours by their slight so why are you concerned about theirs? You will not become them. You are merely showing them the result of their own actions and demonstrating your boundaries. There is no conflict. Note that I didn’t say fuck off (although I have in some cases) but invited them to review their behaviour if there is to be future interaction. Do you consider it rude to respect yourself?
NA, I suppose my boundaries are fuzzy. I’d rather have them traipsed upon and carry on than cause a fuss. It is more comfortable for me to turn the other cheek than to stand up. I’ll forgive their transgression, but they may not be as kind to me if I “show my ass”. It’s important to me to be accepted and considered “nice”. I don’t ever want to burn a bridge with somebody. I can’t bear to have somebody mad at me or heaven forbid their feelings hurt by my words or deeds. I know it may sound weak, but it truly takes a lot of strength sometimes. Make no mistake though. I will stand up for myself if a situation warrants.
It wasn’t a judgement of weakness in you, I have just never understood it, but I note a difference in our interpretation and language. For instance, in your previous comment you used the word conflict where I saw none, and here you use “cause a fuss” and I don’t see that in the example. It is similar to when people perceive confrontation or judgement when I see conversation. Differing levels of emotion (in general – not just in a specific situation) appear to cause us to interpret words and actions differently (depending on the source). You want to be considered accepted and nice where that is less important to me as long as there is fairness. Thank you as always for explaining your view.
NA, I didn’t think you were judging me and I certainly am not judging you. You’re my hero!
My sister is similar to you. She is forever telling me to stand up for myself. She also doesn’t see conflict where I do. We grew up in the same house, not sure how we can be so different. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass what people think of her.
I think it goes back to me wanting to be accepted and a deep-seated belief that I’m unlovable. The last thing I would ever want to do is give somebody a reason not to love me. When you look at it from this perspective, it tends to make more sense.
MB: And yet there are ways you can honor your boundaries without conflict (from within or without) and feel good while doing so. I am glad you had this convo with NA. It helped me understand your perspective for our future chat.
This is where my CoD comes into play. Always wanting to be liked and wanting to fit in, actually just feeling that sense of belonging. Wanting to be important to someone, and always being a chameleon saying and doing the things they wanted to see and hear. I was oblivious to all of this until just recently and I began to realize that I cared to much about what others thought of me and not enough of me caring about me. I have to keep there feelings and mine separate and keep my ET to a low. I agree with you, it is very tough to do. But one step at a time, one day at a time.
The cell phones drive me completely crazy, especially if I’m trying to get waited on and the person is on there phone, that I will not tolerate and I always say something to them about. 🙃
Hi NA. Have you done the empath test? What did you get, may I ask?
But of course! Haha.
Thanks for the response NA! I had thought SE or ME. 👌
Perhaps FYC is a ME then? Either one of you was my guess…. 😉😁
Technology is neutral, however the use of technology amplifies the inherent traits of the user. Taking an emergency call, acting quickly and returning to conversation is understandable. Using technology to promote ego, facilitate facade, triangulate, manipulate, impose present silent treatments and otherwise abuse people present or online speaks volumes about the person using the technology, not the technology itself.
The intent of technology development was to enhance the ability of the user to be more productive and efficient. Little thought (if any) was given to exactly how personality traits would influence technology use. Some researchers estimate social media has increased narcissistic behavior by up to 30%; I think that figure may be conservative. Children are now raised on a system of obtaining likes and views. They are far less comfortable with verbal, interpersonal communication (this affects development of empathetic skills as well) and prefer text and social media.
I have always enjoyed technology for many reasons, but value real life, not a cyber-driven life that precludes genuine connection and authentic interaction. Future technology development will continue to deliver amazing capabilities, but will also continue to reflect the people who control its use.
FYC: It is incredibly addicting for an alarming number of people that have easy access. And it can weaponize people in so many ways even against themselves. And destroy families and relationships and lives. Will the good hallmarks outweigh the bad? At the end of the day, I say, yes. However, individually, most of us, increasingly, generation by generation, and decade by decade, will have to fight more and more to balance ourselves against its highly addictive and damaging aspects, as well.
Hi PSE, technology and devices were are not designed to be addicting and would not be so independent of the programs they run and the interactions/services they enable/deliver.
On the other hand, service providers and app developers do make a concerted effort to entice users to engage in more use as this drives greater sales.
Being a huge advocate of personal responsibility, I would suggest that adults are responsible for their online activity choices and for their children. People need to be aware and apply common sense and use discretion. That said, there are many side effects of technology use that cause harm at any age that are not well known or publicized. Even if they were, people love all things tech and would likely dismiss concern until affected.
Unfortunately, many young people, whose brains are still developing, and have not yet acquired strong cognitive abilities nor mastered self regulation, are at an increased risk of developing detrimental effects from prolonged use. Sadly, these young people are targeted heavily by app developers and advertisers. Some laws (in the US) have been passed in support of responsible use for underage users, but not enough.
On another note, I think it’s interesting that at a time when we have the most opportunity to connect, both in person and online, our actual authentic connection is probably at an all time low. Technology has a strong, direct correlation to this decline. Still, used effectively, technology can and does enhance our lives and relationships. It’s complicated 😉
FYC: Of course I agree with you logically, but, as you know, addiction appeals to our ever so sometimes sneaky and devious emotional and Narcissistic side: where our logic and reason and knowledge and our emotions and predisposition and instinct and personality and actions, all collide. That age old battle field in play, now more than ever before, with so much knowledge both good and bad, so easily available. I have a land line phone service, and refused to get a cell phone service, until last year, when the Narcissist told me to get one. Everyone I knew was in disbelief that I did not have one, when they found out, and told me I was overly stubborn, and should have one. I agreed, but did not act. But, of course when the Narcissistic found out, and I saw the horror on his face, real horror, that I did not have and never had a cell phone, he then told me, after he caught his breath and composure, PSE, you need to get a cell phone! I did. lol. When he was showing me how to use it, he stuck his number in it, as a test he said. hahaha. Now, I understand why he was so shocked I did not have one, because it is a major weapon in their cache and for their machinations, and vital part of their command center power base that must be in touch with each and everyone of their fuel sources. lol. I am still paying for the smart phone service and I have no regrets. But, I also still pay for my trusty landline phone as well, as a fail safe against living life depending on the battery charge status of this cell gadget. And some people are surprised that I still pay for a landline phone service now, as well as the cell phone service. I can not win! 🙂
PSE, I vaguely remember what it was like to have a landline, lol.
I am an early adopter of technology, but I use it for genuine connection and to manage/simplify all things in my world. Ns use technology to serve their own (and very different) purposes, as they do with all things in life. I’m certain Ns did so with landlines, letters, messengers, carrier pigeons and smoke signals, or any other possible method of communication at the ready as well.
PSE, you are sweet and your tech innocence is as well. I can see why your N pounced on the opportunity to use such qualities for his selfish needs. While I hope you always remain your sweet self, I also hope you become more empowered, discerning and weaponized so you never fear addiction or manipulation. You are at the wheel. You make the choices. You seize the power.
I am grateful my own blind spot with regard to N behaviors has been exposed by the glaring light of truth HG’s works and insights deliver. N thoughts and behaviors are so contrary to empathic thoughts and behaviors it boggles the mind. Since reading and interacting with this awesome group of people, my skills have improved immensely. I am ever grateful. I have leveled up 😉
I have always thought that either technology was developed by Team Narc to expand their matrices and we just happened to benefit collaterally, or they are the luckiest pricks in the world lol.
But seriously now, I do agree with your point about the traits of the user. I also think we are training our brains to focus for shorter and shorter periods of……oh look! HG posted a new pic on IG and I got 15 likes on my ” I exorcised with HG and my ex got a pulled taint” t-shirt.
I’m sorry…you were saying?
Just a sec, NA, I need to finish watching, listening, reading, playing, chatting, shopping, paying, googling, …wait…ah there, now, what was that? Hang on, this freaking site is so slow (took a whole half of a second!), finally! Okay what now? *ding* Wait gotta grab that text, *ring*, Hello? Damn spam calls. So sorry NA, What’s that? No, I have no idea what you are talking about. My attention span is just…wait one sec…just got an important voicemail, hang on gotta get this… Okay…NA? Hey! NA where did you go?
Lol, NA. Technology companies would not disappoint you in the numbers of narcs present. But in fairness, neither would other business segments.
FYC. Yes. We have leveled up. To the point to Always be Resisting. I do need to level up more with technology. I had a grudge from years ago, because when I wanted a cell phone, I wanted a Blackberry, but I would have to pay ATand T for the service. There was no other choice for a service provider at that time. And I hate how ATand T bills people, and they were even called up before Congress and questioned and chastised over their mysterious customer billing practices and complaints. So, I just never bothered, since the double bind was my only option at that time, and I did not bother further until the Narcissist put a halt to the stalemate last year. Personality wise, regarding technology, I just want someone to tell me what all to buy, with all items being compatible with each other, and to then come over to my apartment and hook everything all up for me, while I sip tea. And that has of yet to happen. lol. Anyway, I was raised in a small town, so fortunately I have some culturally ingrained behavior that is nicely Narc Repellant and works as Poison Pills: I move slowly when meeting people. I feel nervous if rushed. I am leery of gifts. I am a little bit shy. Because in a small town everyone is into everyone else’s business, so a mistake can be devastating especially for females. But, I was ensnared by His Somatic Highness in NYC for 2 reasons: 1. The workplace is not alarming. The Narc does not have to lovebomb, and inadvertently frighten you, so he has your attention over time by sheer proximity. And 2. Charm. Where I am from, growing up, many men are charming. It is a normal male characteristic. But, in NYC, not so much. The men are mostly too arrogant, or blustery, or bully-ish, or apathetic or overly misogynistic or broken. Nothing too alluring for my personality. So after such a dearth of being around charm for so long, the Narcissist was different, not just to me, but also to many other women as well. Even men liked him. So I just have to be on a charm defensive in this town in particular, and that will be quite easy. Because, there is so little of it. I have heard that Irish men are known for their charm on the other side of the pond. Although not Irish, I think, If HG Tudor ever came to stay in this city, he would crash it. What a mess it would be. He is quite charming, and there is so little of that here. I feel pretty good that I am free from this dynamic now, with a little vigilance. But, I will always be resisting, FYC. Disengagement is just too much work and too difficult and too disruptive and too painful for me to live like this and go through all of this again. And I am getting off easy in comparison to many, it appears. This time.
Very charming , if you please.
Incomparably charming, if you please.
PSE, I’m happy to hear you are resisting–well done!
The reason Blackberry was not widely available to you is because its peak popularity was in the 90s. Loyalist may have stuck with it, but almost any other wireless mfg offers a superior device with more features, power and ease of use (save learning a new OS). Besides, your thumbs deserve a break 😉
If you want easy tech, move over to Apple products. They were designed so a child could easily engage and be productive without needing to ‘learn technology’. Please know I am not comparing you to a child, I am just saying it’s easy. All Apple products are compatible (if a bit more expensive) and offer greater protection against hacking. You may need a technician if you want a complete home integration of IoT, but if you just want a phone, WiFI and maybe Internet (Apple) TV, I am confident you can easily do this install yourself while sipping your tea.
FYC. I loved everything about what I knew about Blackberry and especially its high level encryption. Also, the logic of its usage was praised. I also liked that it had a qwerty keyboard, and when I handled the Blackberry Torch, in the store, when it came out, it was love. But I have an extreme hatred of ATandT, and had managed to remove my landline from them, and I was not going back to those thieves every month, so that I could have a Blackberry. Other companies were jealous of Blackberry and wanted some of its proprietary encryption, but Blackberry would not budge. They became a target. They lost money, with bad sales and press, and they were smeared, and public potential customers were spooked. and I believe Blackberry took their proprietary encryption into the government sector where a lot of their fans and customers were anyway, and largely left the public sector. And I did not need too many extra features, but reliability and good encryption and especially the logic that it used and the pull out qwerty keyboard. For example, some phones, whatever I did, when I tested them, was not intuitively correct. I hated that. The Blackberry, when I tested it, worked according to my logic of usage. And the stellar encryption aspect appealed to me. I do have an IPhone now. Regarding all the other technology, I want someone to set everything up for me, with everything being compatible, while I sip my tea. Other than that, I will suffer on.
FYC. My laptop is Apple as well. I like Apple. But, once upon a time, when I did want a cell phone, of my own volition, It was Blackberry. And since I could not have it, I shut down until the Narcissist pushed me last year, and I have this Iphone. But, I have not love for it. It just is. And we do not think the same, me and this phone, the way I and the Blackberry that I tested were in rapport. And that Blackberry qwerty pullout keyboard was amazing. And it still had a touchscreen, as well.
MB: I am feeling a bit sentimental now. HG`s 15 million zillion hits, Kiki is still fighting, I have a fun Series to Watch for a change-the Big Little Lies, smart people on here that are going to be smarter and smarter, someone that understands about dear Blackberry-so that their creators did not live their life in vain…it is too much!!! I have to go the gym now, and work with some iron for a little while. For real!!! Have a good weekend. 🙂 bye.
Yes the Apple iPhone is so easy to use ,I’m getting rid of my Android monster ,it drives me nuts.Overly complex .
I am a bit of an innocent with tech also .
I am only now getting my first iPhone.No choice have to have it foe work .
I struggled along with a crappy thing for as long as I could .
I think once we use these things wisely ,be careful with your identity ,
Keep pics online to a minimum and be leery of anything that sounds to good .I personally avoid Facebook etc .
I’m quite private and so many people air their dirty laundry to the world for everyone to see.
Twitter is good though but be careful I never go by my real name due to my profession ,one stupid tweet and I could land in trouble.
Tech is the future though ,we have to embrace it and move with it .
I do agree so many small children are stuck on phones all day it’s highly addictive also .
Kiki: I have practically nothing on this phone. Even a long time ago, that is why I wanted the Blackberry: High level encryption. Who knows. Maybe one day, I will see if I can still get one. But there is a lot of hostility from the other companies against Blackberry. I do not even know if I can purchase one, in the private sector any longer, or even if the company is around at all any longer. What a shame. Sometimes the `monopoly` does not bring to us the best product, beyond a lot of bells and whistles that most people do not use, but what is important is often, less than. It is so funny, Kiki. Sometimes I am on the elevator or somewhere and I am the only person not staring at a phone. My posture is still good. So there is that! 🙂
PSE, for what it’s worth, I’m team Blackberry too. I had several and loved them. Especially the BB Messenger. The only thing I loved more was the Nextel! They had their heyday and we moved on to more advanced technology leaving them behind. Those were the days my friend. We thought they’d never end.
True article. Nex did so many of these things. Red flags everywhere.
It would be so refreshing to date someone who has no phone, no social media, nor is interested in it.
Chris Evans for eg gave up his mobile phone in January and said it’s the best thing he’s ever done! I’m tempted myself!
There is nothing worse than someone glued to their phone – friends/lovers etc. It’s rude and one of my pet peeves. I’d rather live in the real world than the cyber world. But I believe I am now a minority 🙁
Red flag is someone never off their phone. Constant messaging – uugghh get away from me.
Presque Vu, I agree. Can’t stand being in the presence of someone who’s constantly looking into their phone, whether it be texting, playing games or “liking” crap on Instagram and the like. In the presence of the narc it’s just another form of silent treatment and dismissal.
It is also triangulation.
Oh yes, definitely that, too. Not sure which I hate more.
Sometimes old school is best (to a point). I’ll chalk it up to my narc traits that I could not care less what anyone else feels the world needs to see about their (usually fake) life on Facebook (and more and more on Instagram). In fact I take it as a sign of neediness and competition which disgusts me. Red flag of narcissism or addiction. I have no issue if someone is active on their phone in my presence to end the interaction by saying: It’s obvious you’re busy, so let’s get together another time when you are not distracted. Then I leave. If they are not embarrassed but get upset – there’s your answer. I have had people tell me it’s just multi-tasking or that it’s normal now and I reply that it is neither – that it’s simply rude.
It is rude! Half the time I have no idea where my phone is and I leave it home when I run errands.
I agree with all that, NarcAngel. I’m old school and also not rude. If I’m in the presence of someone I prefer to focus on them. But I know the difference between those who are just checking their email or texts and those who do it purposely to slight.
NA, you’re such a badass. I can’t say things like that. I can’t handle conflict and I dont want to hurt people’s feeling. I keep my thoughts on the inside. Not that I don’t think them!