Why You Should Not Use Online Dating


Online dating and online apps are prolific, widely-used and highly profitable for those running them.

But there is a massive cost.

And you are the ones paying it.

Listen below to learn why. You can thank me later.

Listen to Why You Should Not Use Online Dating

95 thoughts on “Why You Should Not Use Online Dating

  1. Violetta says:

    Richard Robinson aka Garry Rodgers (aka God only knows what else) pretended to marry scores of women across the UK & walked off with their savings.

    He met many of them on “Plenty of Fish,” where he engaged in Acquisition of Traits, Mirroring, and Love-bombing. What made him seem less like a classic fortune-hunter was he didn’t go after wealthy women, preferring to scam a bunch of women of moderate income at the same time, then move on to the next batch.

    And those are just the known cases:

    DM headline:
    King Con who made a MILLION with promises of marriage: He’s hardly Adonis, but Richard Robinson didn’t just scam one woman out of her savings… police believe he did it to HUNDREDS of lonely hearts. So how did he get away with it?

    1. Kim e says:

      It has gotten to the point where I start reading an article, watching a movie or TV show and I need to stop reading or turn it off as I know the outcome and it triggers me.
      They are literally everywhere. Before HG I would have just thought “OH another asshat”. After HG “AH another narc”

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Thus comes enlightenment and it is powerful.

      2. Violetta says:

        Kim E:

        On the other hand, if you’re watching Lifetime, everybody knows the outcome. You know the horror movie rules in Scream: you can never have sex, you can never drink or do drugs, and never (ever, under any circumstances) say “I’ll be right back”? If you’re in a Lifetime movie, you never get married, have sex, accept a date, refuse a date, trust anyone, reject anyone. Basically any human interaction at all means that during the course of the movie, you will end up either dead or permanently traumatized.

        Unless you’re not the main character. Then you might have a happy social life, but not if the main character’s story arc is tracking down The One Who Did This To My Best Friend.

        1. Kim says:

          If I ever make reference to the fact that I am watching Lifetime or Hallmark please call the police as there is someone with a gun to my head🤡🤡🤡

          1. Violetta says:


            In grad sc5, I had a student who was having trouble finding a focus for his paper on TV programs. I suggested he compare some he liked to anything on Lifetime. The next time I saw him, he was raving about how much easier it was to write now that he could expand, one by one, on all the reasons Lifetime sucked.

  2. worldsugar125 says:

    Interesting. What about the free apps?

    1. Janet Baldocchi says:

      Free ? Nothing is free- you pay the price no matter what.

  3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dearest Kiki n Sweetest Perfection,
    Sorry my sweets, I did reply to both your comments ….
    I don’t know if it’s in moderation, however when I posted it, my screen appeared to freeze, then it disappeared, probably still floating in cyberspace
    My other comments have now come thru and that one hasn’t, just so you know I didn’t ignore you ….. briefly….
    That teacher was mean – check out the movie “Whiplash” about a drummer and his abusive instructor
    Mr Bubbles has suffered a few back issues from his many “lifts” and he does have amazing legs … haha
    My “so called” modelling (haha) … was just a photo or two, nothing to write home about (I’m a volunteer, I do things for free) ..Mr Bubbles did his professionally
    Now, one more time
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. Kiki says:

      You are sweet Bubbles thank you for the message


  4. Caroline R says:

    How do I make my IG account private, as you’ve done? My ‘followers’ list is awash with Ns!

  5. Kel says:

    Since the majority of narcissists are male, that means men have a greater chance of meeting empathic women and women have a greater chance of meeting narcissistic men. I’ve always met most of my boyfriends at work, and I’m pretty sure they were mostly narcissists. We think we’re just attracted to powerful, successful men, but really we’re targets. There are men I could see myself with who seem normal, who don’t have an image, but they’re usually already taken and married. I’ve thought about getting on Coffee and Bagels just to get into the dating scene again, even just for practice. I’ve met men at the grocery store, even had one give me a rose through my car window in the parking lot- I always regretted not seeing him again, it’s awkward. HG, how much do you ever notice normal unmarried men in real life and where are they?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      When you are an empath you are drawn to narcissists and they are drawn to you. Your ET remains high through repeated engagement and therefore you keep engaging with the narcissists. There are many non-narcissists out there but you fail to find them (because of the above). The key to doing so is to reduce your ET, keep it down, know the red flags and thereafter you will start to avoid the narcissist and lo and behold you will find lots of non-narcissists.

      1. Kel says:

        Thank you!

    2. Kiki says:

      What would I give to know this
      They are so rare they should be featured on David Attenborough’s programmes where it takes four years and a huge camera crew to catch a glimpse of an elusive creature on camera


      1. NarcAngel says:

        Attenborough! That was who WiserNow referred to in her funny comment and not Jim from Wild Kingdom. It’s in Ice Cold with Alex Jan 2019. No wonder I couldn’t find it.

        Thanks Kiki

        I hope FYC sees this.

  6. Caroline R says:

    HG, since opening an IG account recently, I’m now getting all these random followers, and messages, mostly from men, and some from supposed famous people who are obviously catfish.

    I don’t have a photo or any information about myself listed.
    I don’t know why they’d bother.

    I’ve left comments on some of the few people’s IG posts that I follow. None of the random people reference what I’ve written, which made me suspicious. One of them today was starting the love bombing right from the outset. When I ignore them, after a week they unfollow me.


    One of them sent pictures of a house-bound morbidly obese woman. I thought “victim-N!”. It was probably really some skinny guy typing away in his mum’s basement.

    Is it reasonable to assume from what you’ve written that these are Ns spreading their nets widely, and hoping for ‘catch of the day’?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Caroline R says:

        Thank you!

        1. Getting There says:

          Hello, Caroline.
          I recently opened an Instagram account also. I set it to private and have received interesting follow requests and interesting private messages.
          I will admit I allowed a few through. One was based on his looks alone (good looking and looked like good with the kids in the pictures). Fortunately his lies were so apparent and he was easy to show how he needed my attention on the right hand while trying to work his magic with the left. I am much more careful now. I hate having to be so watchful and constantly wonder if it would be less stressful if I made it a public account and didn’t pay attention to who wanted to follow. I’m glad you asked this question! Thank you!

          1. Caroline R says:

            Hi sweetie,
            Thank you for your reply.
            I’m interested to hear about your experience with IG.
            How did you activate the ‘private’ setting? I can’t figure it out.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Caroline R, look down to the right where you will find an icon that looks like a person profile. Click on it (which will take you to your profile), and at the top right there are three lines; click and you will see a list of functions, “settings” is at the bottom. You’ll be able to set your profile on private there.

          3. Caroline R says:

            Sweet P
            Thank you!
            That’s kind of you to help me.
            I’ll try it now.

          4. Caroline R says:

            Thank you again for your help.
            The bars of the shark barrier are in place.
            It’s amazing how many hungry predators are constantly on the hunt.

            And I didn’t even mention my supertraits…and broken heart…if I did, IG would go into meltdown…

          5. Getting There says:

            Thank you, SP!

            Caroline R., I have received private messages from specific “porn” type. I have asked others who have Instagram and they have never gotten those. Not sure why I am so lucky but I have learned to use block. I have had follow requests and messages from people pretending to be famous people I follow. There was that good looking “dad” who ended up not knowing one lie didn’t match with another.
            It is interesting when friends have had it for years and have had less happening. I wonder if it is because they have public accounts.

  7. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Our beautiful single (mother of four) neighbour popped over for a few drinks n nibbles just now and just happened to mention to us, she’s been on various dating apps
    She’s 60
    We could not believe what she was telling us
    These males would openly send dick pics to her, they would also randomly text her at 11.30 pm at night and say … “whatcha doing”? …. realising…. they just wanted sex
    The games these people are playing, we just couldn’t believe it
    My oh my, how dating has changed from our days … definitely for the worse
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. Kiki says:

      Hi Bubbles

      Yes it all that now dick pics masturbation videos

      Don’t ask me how I know let’s just say I was sent these

      One guy from the states even asked if I would cam for him like a web cam girl I’ll never forget that creep Of course he got a NO

      The dick pics are annoying and a turn off

      Then the guys with at least 10 others online

      The married ones

      The fat guy 25 years older thinking he is God’s gift to younger attractive females jeez I’ve seen them all

      Hence I’m still single 🙁 there are just no opportunities to meet someone normal in my real life they are all married

      1. Mercy says:

        Haha kiki I was out of the dating scene for a long time. First with my kids dad and then after him I didn’t date until the kids were older. Back on the dating scene it was a wtf moment. I never saw so much penis. The first one I got was a guy with a hard on next to a ruler. I’ll admit it was impressive. Another guy sent a pick with his dick next to a tall boy of Bud light. Some guy sent me a vid of himself, ah finishing. It was a train wreck I couldn’t help but watch. After getting over my morbid curiosity I learned when a guy was heading in that direction. I had no problems blocking them. After awhile it stopped being fun to talk to people. It was like a job. Dating should be exciting. Not exhausting.

      2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dear Kiki,
        Unfortunately what you’re describing is all too true from everything I’m hearing
        Even our daughter has told us of some hairy tales
        Why old fat men think they’re attractive is beyond me (that forever man ego) …. they’re clearly not
        Married men who play up, shouldn’t be married …. there goes the trust, once broken, never again
        The male brain appears to be the size of a pea these days with all their dumbing down with computer gaming and all they have left is sending dick pics, which is in total violation of any respect, in my book
        Even then, most men are only 2 sec wonders …… we wonder what the hell just happened … seriously, a vibrator would do a better job, last longer and they come in pretty colours …. haha
        What has happened to morals, manners n manhood ?
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. Kiki says:


          You can see how many men really have a warped sense of ego and entitlement

          I also think they are clueless
          Unlike men most women don’t get turned on by pics of genitalia
          These men really think we will swoon on the floor at the sight of their manhood haha

          Clueless men


  8. Survivor X says:

    Jesus god the comments on this one are ah-mazing.

  9. ava101 says:

    I know three couples I would consider happy, and I don’t think that anyone of the persons is narcissistic, 2 (a couple) are 100 % empaths, and they have all met through online dating.
    I have met all my worst narcs in real life.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Then they are very fortunate indeed. I know of far more people who have encountered narcissists through online dating than they would have done in real life.

  10. Joanne says:

    There’s a lot of merit to this, even apart from the dating apps. Social media in general is very much the same. I was definitely groomed online for a while before our in-person reunion and by that time I was so deeply invested that the meeting was just a formality to clinch the ensnarement.

  11. Kiki says:

    Has anyone ever looked at those Sugar Daddy dating sites Omg they are scary

    The whole thing is supposed to be mutually beneficial younger woman gets gifts ahem mentor ship in life skills whilst the man gets sex under the guise of companionship

    I don’t know is this twisted or is it not because it’s all on the table so to speak


    1. NarcAngel says:


      I don’t know. Are you asking because there is one sitting in your shopping cart waiting to be checked out?

      1. Kiki says:

        I don’t understand your comment Narc Angel

        1. NarcAngel says:

          I was teasing that you were looking at the site and may have succumbed to purchasing (in your basket waiting to check out as you would on Amazon) pending a decision on whether it was twisted or on the table. Apologies for the confusion.

          1. Kiki says:

            Oh that’s no worries at all 😊 bag myself a Sugar Daddy hahaa😊


    2. Mercy says:

      It depends on if you think prostitution is twisted Kiki. I know a woman that tried an arrangement like this. She gave her “companionship” then got dropped off on the side of the road and had to walk home.

      1. Kiki says:

        Yes I could imagine ,it is twisted not sure if it falls into the prostitution bracket though

        Maybe it does it is very disturbing I’m not condoning it at all just wanted to see what ye thought of it

        In real life you have a huge chance of meeting the hump n dumpers also they are everywhere not just online


        1. Mercy says:

          Kiki, I know you don’t condone it and you were just wondering people’s thoughts on these sites. The problem is that these are young women advertising themselves as sugar babies on sites that are infested with predators. Call it companionship but men are expecting sex in exchange for gifts or money (prostitution in a court of law). It’s an extremely dangerous situation. Hump and dumps, yes theres a chance of that everywhere but there’s a higher risk of hump and dumpster when advertising sex.

          1. Caroline R says:

            “Hump and dumpster”!
            I’m sure that’s the plotline of every ‘Law & Order: SVU’ episode ever made!

          2. Mercy says:

            Haha Caroline my daughter binge watched Law and order and is convinced she has enough education to be a detective. She is currently binging on Grays Anatomy and has switched professions. She’s a Doctor now!?

          3. Caroline-is-fine says:

            Caroline R (regarding your 13.07 comment below),


            How is that “Hahaha” funny? Mercy wasn’t being flippant about it — she was showing concern for women & alluding to the seriousness of it. Kiki & Mercy are having a thoughtful discussion about a serious issue for women.


            Yeah, I remember you, “Caroline R.”

          4. Mercy says:

            Caroline “it’s” fine! I wasn’t offended by her comment. I actually thought you made that comment haha. I vaguely remember another Caroline but can’t remember the details.

          5. Caroline R says:

            Your daughter’s adorable!

            I had to stop watching Law & Order after a couple of months. I like Mariska Hargitay, but I started to have nightmares of corpses, so realised I had to be careful with what I saw.
            That was years ago.
            I should have known it though, I always hated the wicked witch of the west in the Wizard of Oz.
            I couldn’t look at her.
            I’d get under the table and hide.

            Actually that whole movie made me feel awash with bleakness.
            I still don’t like it.

            Re: ‘sugar babies’ or any sort of ‘escort’ work, I just don’t know how anyone could do it. Gay or straight. You are far too vulnerable.
            No amount of money could be worth the stress.

            Nothing would induce me to put myself through that.
            Or to be handled by strangers.

            I’d rather work at McDonald’s, be poor, and keep my self-respect.

          6. Mercy says:

            Caroline R, have you ever seen the musical Wicked? It gave me a whole new outlook on the Wizard of Oz. I highly recommend it.

            As far as the sugar Daddy sites, I just see them as very dangerous. Women have to constantly be vigilant and protect against predators. We live in a world where women can’t even run on a trail without fear of being attacked. It’s sad but true. These sugar babies will apply sun screen to protect their skin from the sun but will get in a car with a strange man for money. It’s not if something bad happens, it’s when something bad happens.

          7. Caroline R says:

            I don’t understand why you have responded to me like this.
            From your words, it appears that you’ve mistaken me for someone else.

          8. nunya biz says:

            I think the whole site might apply as “portentious”.

    3. nunya biz says:

      Facade. “On the table” facade.

    4. Kiki: Those sites are Shopping Malls for Male Narcissists. They should be banned. Or major warning statements placed on them by law.

      1. Getting There says:

        A woman in Utah (I believe) was just murdered and she supposedly was on those sites and may have found her murderer on one. I know that can happen with any site but there seems to be a risk of a lack of balance of seeing the other as a person, instead of a transaction, on those sites.

  12. Lorelei says:

    Agree.. I’m glad I only have to go to the grocery to find narcissists! All these apps are tedious from the sounds of it.

  13. lisk says:

    I have my own reasons for never having used—and never planning on using—online dating.

    Too bad those reasons didn’t keep Narcx from targeting me in other ways.

  14. Desirée says:

    Speaking of dating, I need fashion advice, please help me. Can I combine nude suede high heels with a black bag or will that look like I tried and failed? What the hell do people do with light-coloured accesories? Should I just stick with the black monochrome and put on red lipstick to trick people into thinking I wear colour? That one pair of shoes is ruining my life.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Wrong blog, Desiree!

      1. Lorelei says:

        HG—I took my kids to youth group last night at my daughter’s new school. I sat in the lobby of this mega church which is really nice actually. It has a huge cafe/Panera sort of thing.. I was going through their offerings and saw the group for men recovering from addictions that need accountability. I’m sure I could find a lovely narcissist right there! No apps and no fees! I don’t have to pay a sign on bonus for my torture. I don’t have to take 3-5 selfies in various forms of poses.. So convenient.

      2. Twisted Heart says:


    2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dear Desiree,
      Wear whatever makes YOU feel good about YOURSELF
      I dress for ME…. I don’t care what other people think
      I know I look classy and that’s all that matters

      Of course it all depends on the occasion and who you’re trying to impress
      Red lipstick can attract the wrong type – beware
      To answer your question, I believe you can, I have, you don’t have be matchy matchy (check out Royal Kate)
      Good luck lovely one …either way you’ll look stunning
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      Ps The weasel noticed my dress style …. just saying !

      1. Desirée says:

        Bubbles! Aww that is so kind of you to say, you are the loveliest!
        And I guess you’re right, it doesn’t have to be a perfect colour match so long as its classy and elegant.
        I was thinking black dress and blazer but the nude heels would probably call for something a little lighter as well. Maybe a white dress then. I actually have a bordeaux handbag that might work well with the rest, I could match it with my nail colour. That’s a plan!
        My Ex’s focus on fashion was bordering on obsession and i found it really disrespectful how he would put people down who couldn’t afford to dress to his tastes, even though he never even developed a notable style of his own. Being decked out in brand names was all that mattered.
        Your comment about red lips attracting the wrong men would explain a lot, actually, though it’s probably not determinative.
        Do you think narcs can gain information from clothing about wether someone is an empath or not, or does it only serve to determine somatic trades and class trades?

        1. Kiki says:


          Nude shoes are lovely they make the leg look longer even with a black dress hence the reason we wear nude pointe shoes in ballet so not too cut of the leg at the ankle or foot


          1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Kiki,
            Mr Bubbles totally agrees with you .. hehe
            He did classical ballet and was a professional dancer (pas de deux) and a model back in his hey day
            I did a bit of modelling myself …. haha
            Thank you for the memories precious
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear Desiree,
          Go with your female instinct my lovely … no more overthinking
          When in doubt ….don’t ! Ditch the nude shoes
          Your EX was certainly very adamant in HIS tastes … sounds a bit short of a few pairs of underwear to me …haha

          I think Mr Tudor would be more suitable to enlighten you regarding “empathic” style clothing, seeing as he’s now in the industry .. haha
          I’m sure you’ll look amazing in your final decision 👗👠💄💅🏻
          Have a lovely time
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Desirée says:

            Bubbles, you are the sweetest! Are you a super empath by any chance? You certainly seem like it!
            My date is tomorrow evening, I have decided on those nude suede pumps, a white flowing dress and a burgundy clutch with matching nail polish and lips. I am test driving it today and went having wine with a friend! It feels great wearing it and as I stepped out of my house, a guy motioned to lay down on the street and yelled “Ayyy! I’ll just lie here and you can do whatever you want with me, babe!”, so I’m guessing I’ve made the right choice haha
            I met this guy through work, not online dating. But so far, all my narcs have managed to sniff me out in real life, whereas my online contacts have all been perfectly lovely people. I’m rigging the statistics! We’ll see how this goes and I will keep you updated, haha!

          2. Kiki says:

            Oh Bubbles a model and your hubby was a ballet dancer
            I adore male ballet dancers well to look at anyway 😊
            Their legs just beautiful stunning works of art really

            Glad you like nude shoes too
            I used to dance not now but still train as much as I can


          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Kiki, Bubbles, my pointes were black and ugly! We used those ones for rehearsing, then colored for performance. I did classical ballet for years, but left it before college.One of my most vivid memories was one time our teacher left for an audition and she brought a substitute who was really mean. She made us do a Demi-plié, got called by the director of the school, and screamed: hold it until I’m back! And she left us all there in the same position. Our legs were shaking when she came back.

        3. nunya biz says:

          For some reason I have always enjoyed the look of nude heels with a red dress when I’ve seen it on others, but I don’t know if that works the same with suede.

        4. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dearest Desiree,
          Your final choice sounds absolutely stunning
          I’m sure you look a vision of beauty
          Burgundy nails n lippy … (wow…. snap, my tootsies are painted burgundy n shellac nails )
          Best wishes on your date, gorgeous one … be mysterious and play a little hard to get …leaves them wanting … haha
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Presque Vu says:

            Your choice of outfit and burgundy lips and nails sounds Devine Desirée. He sounds like an absolute gentleman and I’m sure you looked utterly beautiful. Like Sweetest Perfection I’m a sucker for romance. All black next time, classic and classy. I hope your second date is as wonderful. It’s so nice to see positivity, confidence and enjoying dates.

        5. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear Desiree,
          Oops … I forgot ..
          I diagnosed myself and thought I was a magnet empath ….. however…(Ive just reread super empath and I can clearly see myself having many traits of a super empath) …. guess I’m a bitsa
          Either way
          I’m Narc bait … ooh ha ha
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Desirée says:

            Dear Bubbles, maybe you want to take an empath detector in regards to that? I know I found mine to be incredibly insightful. Last night went well, apart from a fruit fly that drowned herself in my glas of pinot noir about a minute upon receiving it, talk about fatal attraction. My date handled it like a gent. He made a funny remark, relieved me from this unwanted protein snack and we had a lovely dinner and a little stroll along the lake afterwards. My choice of dressing was complimented on upon arrival as well as later as we walked beside the lake. I like my sundresses to be cinched at the waist but quite flowy otherwise and he commented on how nice it looks as it flows in the wind. He strikes me as a really lovely, normal person, no red flags so far. We’ll see how it goes, but if he asks me out again, I’m going for all black next time!

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            To me, just the fact he didn’t quote the stupid line in Alanis Morrisette’s song when the fruit fly incident happened is already an asset. Everything sounds very romantic!!!! Sorry, I’m cheesy and all that but I love romance.

          3. Desirée says:

            Sweetest Perfection, I hadn’t thought about that. I will add this to my list of seemingly random red flags alongside with “The flacon of his fragrance is the shape of a giant gold bar” (live and learn). You’re not cheesy, it was very romantic and I had a great time. It’s too early to say but I’d certainly like to go out with him again.

          4. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dear Desiree,
            Fruit fly ??? Oh my … we have to report fruit fly to the govt and the area is quarantined…. how unfortunate
            Wasps, on the other hand, are always hanging around for food when we’re entertaining outside
            I’m delighted your date went so well, hopefully there’s a follow up, black sounds perfect …..it’s always a winner
            Maybe try a Bubbles next time, the long stemmed glasses 🥂are harder for the tiny winged critters to get into ..🐝.haha
            Happy dating gorgeous, glad it was such a success…he sounds lovely 👫
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          5. Desirée says:

            Bubbles, he messaged me earlier this day at noon! To be honest, I was getting almost nervous. He had texted me to make sure I had arrived home safely, but didn’t contact me after that. I guess I am too used to being reffered to as a soulmate and having them insist we have a special connection or some other form of lovebombing at this point, so that’s probably a good sign. He texted me earlier, thanked me for the date, wished me a good start in the week and asked me out for friday evening. So all black outfit it is! I will definitely be ordering some bubbles next weekend. We ordered only a glass of wine instead of a bottle because we wanted to try out different wines, so perhaps that fruit fly found it’s way into my glass from the fruit that gets cut up for cocktails at the bar? I don’t really know, but he certainly handled it well.
            Will keep you updated if you like. Since I always like to plan ahead, it’s LBD, black suede high heels with matching clutch, dainty gold jewelry and cherry red nails with matching lipstick next time. Also, if PSE is reading this, I’m keeping your advice close to my heart and it’s Philip B and Lys 41 yet again.
            I hope I’m not unconsciously using HGs technique of wearing the same fragance for one of his “targets” now. Maybe I’ll sponatenously switch to Creed.

          6. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Desiree,
            Thank you so much precious for your reply
            Your update is most helpful and encouraging for those who are perhaps somewhat hesitant, reserved and confused about venturing out “afternarc” and what is normal …… good comparisons
            Your young man sounds like a real gentleman and appears most respectful … he’s not overdoing it
            Your Creed comment made me laugh ….
            I do have a variety of perfumes I use , depending on how I feel, what I’m wearing at the time, where I’m going and with those I’m surrounded by
            You’re gonna knock his sox off wearing black …..I can hardly wait for Friday night …. haha
            Presque Vu’s comment is spot on
            Happy dating ” Devine Desiree ”
            You deserve it
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    3. lisk says:

      Get rid of the nude suede shoes.

      Nude shoes show that you are either indecisive or too poor to own more than two pairs of shoes —or both.

      1. Desirée says:

        Can you elaborate on that? I find this colour to be both beautiful and the best choice because it compliments my white dresses the best and white shoes would be tacky. They are also quite lovely, high-quality and go with a variety of outfits, so will make for a great staple, as soon as I can figure out what bag to pair them with. The bordeaux one will probably be a good choice, I will find out soon enough.

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dearest Desiree,
          What have you finally decided upon, my little fashionista
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            And more importantly: how was your date?

      2. Twisted Heart says:


    4. Joanne says:

      What color is your outfit? I love the look of nude shoes but I would definitely pair them with a beige bag. When’s your date?!

    5. Mercy says:

      Wear the shoes and fuck the critics. Don’t follow trends, be the trend setter. Confidence is the best wore accessory

    6. Sweetest Perfection says:

      I dare to disagree with Lisk. Nude pumps are very stylish depending on the heel and shape of the shoe. I personally prefer the 3 inches heel because it’s more comfortable and easier to use for work, the perfect size according to Blahnik. Desirée, the times when the accessories had to coordinate is so last century, like the silly tradition that you should always drink red wine with meat and white wine with fish. Nonsense. But I can tell you a man will not appreciate that color, which I use mostly for professional situations so I would use a different one. However, wear whatever makes you feel confident and beautiful because that’s what matters at the end of the day, and if your date happens to be a narc (we hope not) he will just want your fuel anyway. And yes to red lipstick, always. Especially with nude. I just found your question so off the topic and I had to answer hahaha.

    7. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

      Desiree: For your date, may I suggest that you wear your White dress, for reflecting, with the silk Red Flag Scarf, and make sure your shoes have heels that are high enough to step over lies, and wear a trench coat in case impromptu love-bombing catches you by surprise. And wear that nice perfume you have called, Always Resisting. And if it is a daytime date, wear your mirrored sunglasses, so that you can mirror your date back to himself as he mirrors you to yourself. And please carry your narc repellant emergency spray by Logical Thinking, made in Tudorville. And spray him Immediately and In Anger, if he calls you his Soulmate. Have fun!

      1. MB says:

        That was awesome PSE! I feel fortunate never to have been in the dating scene.

        1. Desirée says:

          MB, I just now read your part of never having been in the dating scene. How did you manage to do that? Because while I am currently enjoying myself, that is definietly something I would have prefered, all things considered!

          1. MB says:

            Desiree, it wasn’t by choice. I was chosen by my now husband at the age of 13. He decided I would be his and over time, he “grew” on me. We’ve been together now for 33 years having only separated once for a few months. I’ve never had any other formal romantic relationship. (No intercourse with anyone else, ever!)

            N literally appeared in the office next to mine one morning out of the blue. The moment I met him, I was spellbound. It never turned into a physical relationship, but was quite intimate for over six years as he ended up moving far away after the first year.

          2. Desirée says:

            MB, now THAT sounds incredibly romantic! I wish it could have been like that for me, although I likely would have just gotten picked by a narcissist in the making. We moved a lot when I was child, so I never really had the chance to establish connections that would have made something like this possible. On the bright side, I have always loved to travel as a result and never ever felt homesick. And I quite like the current situation I am in, so I guess things are going good, regardless!

          3. MB says:

            Desiree, I consider myself fortunate he wasn’t a narc. I would have been toast. I have three sisters and they were all ensnared by narcs. Two are still with them. Our relationship HAS played out kinda like a chick flick. The night he met me, he went home and told his mother I was the one and he was going to marry me. Five years later, he did and we’ve been together since. I really can’t complain except I wonder if I missed something by never experiencing other men. From the stories of some on the blog, I think I missed out on a whole lot of BAD experiences.

            Good news is, I can live vicariously through your dates! I get butterflies just thinking about it.

      2. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I’m digging that outfit, PSE.

      3. Caroline R says:

        Very clever PSE!

      4. Desirée says:

        PSE, I quite like that outfit as well! Fragrance-wise, I’ve followed your suggestion considering the deep-conditioning treatment, chose the one from Philip B and have gotten lots of compliments the past week! In terms of perfume, I thought about picking “Aventus for Her” by Creed, but changed my mind and went for “Lys 41” by Le Labo, because that one is my favourite of all time! I also wore it to my night out with my friend on friday, so it is likely still lingering on the dress. My date complimented it yesterday and I have spotted no red flags in regards to his personality so far, so we’ll see how it goes.

    8. Twisted Heart says:


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