The Mockery of Mimicry
I love to copy. I have to copy. It is all I have known for as long as I can remember. It is my natural setting to mimic those around me. I have to fit in, I have to belong and the most effective way for me to achieve this is to replicate everything that I come into contact with. If I interact with an esteemed academic I will listen to his or her achievements and then pass those off as my own as I peel away their glittering accolades and apply them to myself. Should I spend time with an exceptional sporting individual then their record-breaking endeavours will be purloined for my benefit and sported as my own in furtherance of my own belief in my exceptional ability. Author? Yes I have written books too. Model? Yes I do some modelling from time to time. Chef? You should try my signature dish, it is heavenly. Everyone I have dealings with presents me with an opportunity to copy an element of their personality. character or personae so that I may then present it as my own and in so doing I shine brighter and become an even more attractive prospect to those whose lives I effortlessly infiltrate.
This skill at mimicry enables me to ghost in and out of people’s lives. I know the social norms which are applicable and through careful examination and application I am able to pass as one just like you. I am a facsimile of a decent, personable and engaging individual and this allows me access to my targets without raising any alarms. My veneer of respectability has been fashioned from all those that I engage with, gathering patches, fragments, shards and pieces until they are hewn together and I drape it about me allowing me to come and go as I please.
It is however with you that I exhibit the astonishing mimicry of which I am a master. Once I have selected you as my target I have learned much about you already. With what will eventually be recognised as alarming ease, I replicate a fondness for all those things which you like and a distaste for all those things that you dislike. Think back and you will readily recall how I love horse-riding just as you did, that I enjoyed swimming in open water just like you and my passion for the works of Geoffrey Chaucer matched yours. Those interests which were close to you became interests that were close to me. Your appreciation of an excellent bottle of Chateau Margaux was matched by my ability to remember the applicable tasting notes and recite them to you as if it was my own appreciation. I would mimic the way you sat, copying your body language because I know, from extensive practice that this paves the way to bonding with you. I would mimic your speech patterns to form a sub-conscious link between us. I liked blue because you liked blue. I found listening to soul music an offence to my ears but I maintained a false enjoyment of it since you liked it so much. I actually enjoy choosing from the Crustacea bar but your dislike of seafood meant that I too turned lobster and oysters away. How often did you remark aloud, to me or to your friends,
“We have so much in common.”
“We like so many of the same things it is wonderful.”
“We share so many interests, I love it.”
“We are so well matched. On every level. We really are soulmates.”
Of course we are. I made it so because I wanted to be everything you wanted. I took your long list of likes and dislikes, your catalogue of loves and hates and your grimoire of hopes and fears and I copied each and every page. I am a walking photocopier and I copied everything you wanted in order to ensure that my seduction of you was successful, encompassing and absolute.
Yet, my astonishing powers of mimicry did not end there. Goodness me no, there was more yet to come. In a particularly unpleasant twist to this malevolent skill of mine I would mimic your responses to my devaluation of you but this time it would not be a complete facsimile, I would make a slight change to my copying so that you would be undermined even further.
When you stood there crying with frustration and I drank deep of the delicious fuel you provided me, I would raise my hands to my eyes and draw pretend tears on my cheeks and make a sobbing noise to humiliate you further. Here I was letting you know that I copied everything that went before yet now I copy again but not with the perfection I once exhibited. I allow the sting of sarcasm and the malicious mockery to infiltrate my copying of your behaviour so that your hurt and bewilderment was increased. You would shout at me and I would shout back using the exact words before standing and laughing at you as you burned with frustration, unable to find any response. You might stamp your feet in exasperation and I would do the same but with a leer of disdain writ large across my face.
There were times when you would scream. A terrified scream as my vicious manipulations would take their toll and as you tried to curl into a ball and hope you might just disappear and escape this nightmare, I would lean in close to you and mimic your scream into your ear, creating this fabricated falsetto of distress in order to further your own. Every reaction to my devaluation of you had the potential to be met by a mimicked reply from me in order to further your misery and demonstrate I did not treat your responses with any sincerity or concern.
I am the master of mimicry, the king of copying and the duke of duplication. I am a walking and talking photocopier machine. I put the rank in Rank Xerox.
19 thoughts on “The Mockery of Mimicry”
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Sir,
If you write, you read. Do you ever relate to a character in a novel or a writer ? Have you ever had a “wow moment” when reading and told yourself “that resonates with my soul/ I could have written those words”? Or, is it only an imitation of life to you along with all your factual xeroxing?
I do not have those wow moments. I am the wow moment.
Wow HG!
Why can’t I get rid of the idea that you are The Wizard Of Oz?
MRMPNM, The Wizard scared the crap out of me as a kid! Truly terrifying. HG does have similarities to him now that you mention it!
You are the wow moment? Good heavens.
I understand. And sorry if my comment looked anything personal at all. It was not about you HG.
But more general reasoning regarding victims (e g real victims speaking out on MeToo)
I find a lot of comfort when you write that narcissists steal and copy.
You see, that fact can give victims of abuse hope. Victims who feel guilty about reporting a successful celebrity or an important doctor to the police or to the newspapers.
“Reporting him for raping me/bullying me is not a problem. People who do things like this have probably stolen their work/ideas from someone else anyway. I’m not ruining the career of a truly hardworking person.”
But, as you say, there are narcs who do not plagiarise, so I need to think about this further.
Your concerns about reporting matters and being faced with the “but he is important etc” is a valid one.
A narcissist can be truly hard-working and we abuse routinely.
A non-narcissist can be truly hard-working and does not abuse routinely.
It´s the abuse which is relevant, not the fact someone is hard-working. Do you see how your ET impacts on your empathic traits of guilt, compassion and decency to make you uncertain about reporting somebody for abusing you.
It’s very interesting the point you make about being hard working HG. Everything I’d read prior to your work indicated that Ns are all parasitic and not hardworking. That’s not to say they are not parasitic but I looked out for people who always shed their load onto someone else, were promoted quickly without good reason etc I feel incredibly naive that I failed to see the Ns who did actually work very hard. You have taught me it is not the case. It was very important to understand that Ns can fall into any of those categories. It had me confused for a very long time.
There are plenty of lazy narcissists also, plenty of shirkers, plenty of credit-stealers, cheats and so forth amongst our kind. They will not pull their weight, fail to turn up, do a shoddy job, do not give a toss, give the wrong advice, cannot be bothered to finish something, pretend they were not asked to do something and so on.
There are also narcissists who train every day and for long periods in sporting fields, who burn the midnight oil trying to find a cure for disease, who graft away to build that house, who toil ceaselessly to preserve a household which belongs on the cover of Interiors, who are slavishly devoted to painting that perfect picture or creating that spine-tingling symphony and of course the one who is furiously dedicated to the provision of the best information about narcissism on the planet.
Oh and it was the latter I had no clue about. And that kept me fooled until you altered my thinking on this. I’m really pleased for other readers that you have emphasised that point.
“and of course the one who is furiously dedicated to the provision of the best information about narcissism on the planet.” this is the ULTRA of them all. When you say those magic words, “mirror mirror on the wall” there won’t be any snow white in that reflection!
Ha ha.
alexsmith2016,
One of the things I thought about narcissists, prior to HG, was the opposite of what you had originally thought on the work ethic. I had thought all narcissists worked hard. My two are dedicated to their work. They put a lot of time and effort in their work; one of the characteristics which attracted me. I had no idea, until HG, that narcissists wouldn’t all be like that. Watching “Criminal Minds,” I should have known better. I can’t imagine having the narcissistic behavior to deal with as well as them not working hard at their jobs.
**Arnold Schwarzenegger! He freaking nails the value of hard work. Just because he’s a narcissist does not take away from his message. This is a great message and he’s not a brilliant man but he’s a dedicated one:
https://youtu.be/eWJVvNptHZ4
HG—many of the mid-rangers I work with are clinically awesome even when there’s been tension at work when the stakes are high. There are times my work is so critical we have to nail it and we have to do it right. Personality disorder doesn’t equate to an “all bad” person. It’s interesting stuff! There are several mid-range clinicians I’d request to care for my kids over a few empaths.
Lorelei,
Thank you for sharing that video of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I never thought too much about what he has accomplished until listening to comedian Bill Burr. Arnold has really accomplished a lot and it took hard work and dedication for him to be able to do all he has done.
I agree with you regarding some of the narcissists out there. There are a few I prefer working with over those I suspect are empaths or normals. There are definitely narcissists as physicians I would prefer for my son over other ones I know who aren’t narcissists. I recognize that, as a non- intimate tertiary or secondary source, I can appreciate the finer qualities that come with their hard work.
“I love to copy. I have to copy. It is all I have known for as long as I can remember”
I’ve pondered this a lot.
Many times victims of covert bullying and sexual harrassment from a narcissist bully, have been told to keep quiet because:
“He is such a talented successful moneymagnet boss who has created many jobs”
“He has invented very groundbreaking important medicines. Must you ruin it all?”
“He has composed such great music for the benefit of mankind. Are you sure he hurt you?”
HG can this be true? Isn’t all their genious stuff stolen and plagiarised from someone else?
Many narcissists steal work from other people, pass it off as their own or modify it. The ones who do so with regard to my work are usually Mid Range Narcissists (I can think of two who were not and they made a genuine mistake born from a misunderstanding and they soon put the matter right without hesitation or bullshit excuses) but usually they are. I always deal with those who infringe copyright and breach the terms of consultations, the integrity of my work and thus the assistance it provides to you depends on it, CB.