Every Victim is Lying

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I must adopt the standpoint that every one of my victims is lying. There is no hope for me to be any different. You level accusations at me and I know you are lying because the comments make no sense to me. I gave you a fabulous and perfect love and you accepted that. You willingly entered into a union with me and with that you received my largesse and favour. You did not demur or hesitate. Instead, you embraced everything wonderful about what I gave you. Be it the expensive gifts, eloquent expressions of my love or the seemingly never-ending array of glamorous occasions to attend, you took them all. Do you have any idea how much energy I channelled into doing this for you? The repeated text messages, the “sudden appearances” which were in fact carefully crafted and organised, the many telephone calls that I made to you at all different times? All of that took a considerable effort on my part. Yet now, when I am tired and I lose my temper you accuse me of not caring. How can I not care? I am with you am I not? Have you forgotten everything that I ever did for you? It seems to me that you have. What was that vow you said with such enthusiasm, for better and for worse? You have had the better (in fact you received the best) and now it is time for some of the worse, yet you will not tolerate that will you? No, it is clear that you lied. You lied when we got married because now you are reneging on that vow. How do you think that makes me feel? Is it any surprise that I am angry with you when you question me since you have no standing to do so?

You accuse me of not listening. That is another lie. What is there for me to hear? You trot out the same old allegations which are unfounded. At times I cannot discern what you are actually saying because you are so hysterical. How on earth can I listen to you when you behave like that? It is downright unreasonable. You go off and complain about me to your friends and family. That is charming. You are denigrating me in their eyes and that is uncalled for. Yes, I may do it about you, but that is with some justification I might add. You also said you would forsake all others, yet how many times have I caught you flirting with other men from your workplace? What about those pictures of you and your friends with those men you met in a bar which were posted on Facebook. You thought I would not see them didn’t you? Yes, I keep a careful eye on what your friends’ post as they are not to be trusted, leading you astray when you promised that you would do not. Is it any wonder I feel compelled to spend time with other people when you treat me like this?

You accepted everything wonderful that I gave you and now when it is time to give back and add some balance to the equation you seek to escape your responsibilities by accusing me of all manner of misdemeanours and malevolent behaviour. Your hypocrisy sticks in my craw. I know your game, I have you in my eye. You are seeking to deflect attention from your own wrongdoing by telling lies about me. Ha! I have you worked out missy, I always have and you are not as smart as me. You deliberately misunderstand what I say. You imply and insinuate when I have made myself clear. I will not be beaten by your mendacity, no I will not. I will stand strong and ensure that I reflect back on to you the lies you have told. I must do this to avoid your desire to crush and destroy my fragile self with your perfidious ways. I never knew you could be so evil.

6 thoughts on “Every Victim is Lying

  1. KellyD says:

    Yes, yes this is true! He always called me a liar. I thought he just didn’t want to hear what I was saying. Also, he was the liar. I was the most truthful person he’d ever meet.

  2. Sisty says:

    Wow. Thanks for laying this out, HG. One of the things that helped me move on from my abuser was accepting the paradox that his laser-targeted abuse was not something he was 100% conscious of doing or 100% premedtiated. When I thought I was going a little crazy from his word salad, topic shifting, interrupting, yelling and screaming, I recorded him. After he said that “none of that was on my agenda” I replied spontaneously, “No, Bob, being shitty just comes naturally to you.”

    I think it does come naturally, meaning it’s impulsive and spoken/done when they are so flooded with injury and fear that they don’t fully realize or remember what they said/did.

    Real communication is impossible, because they really don’t believe they are what they are.

  3. kaydiva3 says:

    Omg yes! The man who stalked me used to discredit me all the time because I “accepted” his gifts which I never asked for. He also claimed I had been affectionate with him because I was polite to him.

  4. myriflemyponynme says:

    Wrong expectations on both ends, then…

  5. Cyn says:

    Your writing is great mental exercise when one is extricated from the situation!

  6. Cyn says:

    deliberately misunderstand…

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