I Second That Emotion
The emotional spectrum afforded to my kind is limited. The bulk of the positive emotions that you experience have either been stripped away or moulded into one all-pervasive sensation and that is of power. Whereas you might experience joy, elation, happiness and delight, we feel power. That surging sensation which courses through us as a consequence of the receipt of fuel, be it positive or negative. Secure a promotion? I feel powerful. My football team wins? I feel powerful. I seduce a new victim? I feel powerful. I experience amusement, indeed, I have an excellent sense of humour but if I make you laugh through my sense of humour I feel a sense of power once again.
I do not feel sadness. I have, for the sake of gathering fuel, sat through numerous films which are described as tear-jerkers and entertained myself as I have alternated between watching the film and the reaction of the person, invariably an intimate partner, as their expression alters to one of compassion, sympathy and then the tears to begin to flow. I have watched the same film yet I feel nothing. I recognise that the scenes played out by the relevant actors are ones which would be labelled as moving, sad and upsetting, but I feel nothing. When I shift my gaze to the sobbing intimate partner besides me, I begin to feel something. I feel contempt for the weakness exhibited by becoming upset. Not only the fact that these tears flow at all but because they have been generated by acting. How readily people fall prey to what is acting, but I am thankful for that, because if they did not, my existence would be far more difficult. I experience a degree of amusement, because someone is moved by something which is not even real. At least when the tears fall because a pet has been run over in the street, or because a relative has exhaled their last breath on this earth, there is a genuine event which causes grief. Yet, it is always in others. You could flash a montage of images, snippets of footage which encapsulate what people would regard as tear-inducing responses, be they grief or joy and I would remain unmoved. It means nothing to me. The capacity to feel sadness, grief, woe and misery have been removed. I knew them once. I can vaguely remember, or at least I think I can remember, being sad. I do not know what the feeling is but I recall the image from the depths of my memory.
I do not know guilt. Remorse is a stranger to me. I feel no regret nor penitence. Compassion has never been available to me. As for empathy, I do not feel that either. I am, because of my heightened abilities and intelligence, able to understand how people must feel. I have spent many years watching and observing the way that people react to certain situations. I understand when happiness is expressed, I know when regret should be exhibited, I recognise when sadness should make an appearance but I do not feel any of them. If I see you in pain, I know I should demonstrate a concerned expression for you and ask how you are. That is the accepted societal expectation. During my seduction of you, I will indeed adopt that mask of concern and compassion in order to con you into thinking that I am a caring and warm person. I can don the mask which places my facial expression in the correct places. I am able to adopt the appropriate tone of voice and place my hands on you in the gentle manner which is associated with expressing concern for somebody yet despite all these learned expressions, words and gestures I feel no concern for you. I do not feel sorry for you, I do not share your pain, I am not worried about you. I know however that if I am to bind you to me and to extract fuel from you, through your expression of thanks and your gratitude for my apparent care of you, I am obligated to place the mask of compassion on. Of course, as such time as your devaluation commences, I see no need for the pretence and indeed my lack of compassion provides its own reward as your pain is increased by my dismissive attitude, refusal to help and contemptuous sneer.
The Lesser of our kind often do not even know what mask should be adopted and during the seduction stage rather than clumsily grope for an appropriate mask, they will prefer to vacate themselves from the situation, conjuring up some excuse as to why they cannot stay and help. The Mid-Range and the Greater of our kind understand that certain responses are preferred by you and therefore the masks will be brought forth and worn, but only in order to achieve what we want. If the situation dictates that our interests are better served without donning a mask, then that is what will happen.
People often make the mistake of assuming that we are totally devoid of emotion. That is wrong. Yes, there are many emotions, as I have explained above, which we do not possess, but we are not empty of all emotion. I know only too well the emotions of hate, malice, frustration, annoyance, irritation, shame, envy, fury and jealousy. Why am I afforded these emotions and not others? In my discussions with the good doctors and my own consideration of these matters it is evident that in my evolution to what I am, it is necessary for me to have these emotions because they are the catalyst for causing me to behave in the way that I do so I will drive forward, that I will be brilliant, charming and seductive, that I will be outrageous, grandiose, belligerent and destructive, because ultimately all of those things must exist in order to compel me to gather the precious fuel.
If I did not become jealous of those in my social circle praising a friend, I would not feel compelled to draw the spotlight of attention on to me by upstaging that person, telling a glorious anecdote or causing a scene. If I was not jealous I would not take those steps and thus I would be denied fuel.
If I was not envious of my neighbour’s new sports car, I would not be driven to throw battery acid over it during the night and then watch from the window his horrified reaction on seeing the damage the next day. Again, I would gain no fuel.
If I felt no hatred towards you for failing me, I would feel no need to keep doling out the various prejudicial and abusive manipulations. Thus you would not be hurt, upset or frightened and I would gain no fuel.
If I felt no malice towards the world and its treatment of me, I would not be compelled to seduce people to provide me with that shield from the world and its outrageous injustices.
It is these negative emotions, the Dark Motivators, which cause me to always be driving forward. The absence of The Hindrances – remorse, guilt, empathy, regret etc. – means that I am not stopped or slowed in my ever onward march. I am not distracted from the sole and necessary task of gathering fuel.
This approach does not mean that my life is less fuel. I am still able to appreciate much that is beautiful, engaging, fascinating and scintillating in this world. I can appreciate the grandeur of centuries old architecture. I can appreciate the magnificence of a musical composition. I can appreciate the athletic prowess of a sprinter to win a gold medal at the Olympics. I can appreciate the taste of excellent cuisine. I can do this because of my higher function above others of my kind who have little or no interest in such spectacular elements of the world. Whereas you will enjoy the piece of music in that moment, I am using the experience of that piece of music to further my aims.
- I may tell you how brilliant a song is because I know that you will be pleased with me for telling you this and thus you will smile, appreciate me and give me fuel;
- I may use the experience of having heard the philharmonic orchestra play Scheherazade in order to boast about it to other people and draw fuel from their admiring and/or jealous responses;
- I may use the experience of knowing all of Depeche Mode’s music to be appealing to a target because she likes that music too, or just to demonstrate that I have a detailed interest in a particular band so that I am of greater interest to her;
- I may use the experience of having heard a particular song in concert to trump your tale about having heard a different one played in order to assert my superiority over you and draw a reaction from you and others.
You experience certain emotions when engaging in certain experiences. I experience a sense of power in that moment or if I do not, I store the experience to use it feel powerful when it is allied with something else, usually an appliance.
My kind mimic emotions because we are unable to feel so many of them. Thus we will second the emotions that we have seen you exhibit and make it seem as if we feel them. I know many of your emotions; I do not feel them. We second your emotions because we are reliant on your emotions to exist. It is something of a paradox that we have never cultivated certain emotions and/or we have been stripped of them in order to make us lean, effective and efficient, yet we also must receive those emotions from you in order to sustain us. We do not want to see your joy directed towards us for something we have said and done because we will then feel joy, but rather for the power that is unleashed as a consequence of your joy providing us with positive fuel. I am filled with hatred, jealousy, envy, fury and malice but that does not mean there is no room to accept your hatred towards me, indeed I welcome it. As a consequence of my manipulation of you, I want you to stand there screaming your hatred at me until your voice is hoarse and your eyes stand out from your face. The fuel I gain from such an intense expression of negative emotion is immense. Once again I appropriate your emotion and use it for my own purposes. Whether I take it in order to allow me to mimic and copy it, to make me appear more acceptable to other people or whether I seize your emotion as fuel in order to power me and allow my existence to continue, I will always find a use for your emotional output. I put to good use your emotions. I am the ultimate recycler.
127 thoughts on “I Second That Emotion”
HG, thank you for sharing this thread. There are some very good comments here. Sometimes, it is good to be ‘re-affirmed’ by reading such comments when there may be moments / periods of self-doubt. Damn, you’re really good, HG. (thank you :-)).
Thank you, Harry.
HG, are you able to cry if it suits your purposes?
I can squeeze out a tear. Just.
HG, I would love to be a fly on the wall to see your performance as you squeeze out a tear. With my MR half sister, what she lacked in tears she made up with facial expressions, gestures and her voice. It was irritating and sometimes I catch myself rolling my eyes. But you, I’m 💯 sure that it is Oscar worthy.
I’ve told this story before…
Stepnarc tried at his mother’s funeral to cry. He balled up his fists and kept squeezing his eyes together but instead of creating a tear he just looked like a baby loading a diaper. I was across the gravesite from him and laughed (silently) at him. He saw me and became enraged and THAT was as close to looking like he was upset at his mother’s death as he could get lol. I think everyone was there to make sure she was really dead. She was vicious and no one misses her.
Lol NA I love that story. He was a Lesser too just like my mom so I could just imagine how funny his facial contortions were. He should thank you for helping him getting more on point with his facial expression! 😂😂
He probably has a cut onion hidden out of sight to sniff from time to time as need be MP. Lol
Ha ha, stop looking through my kitchen window FM1T!
Hahaha! I just couldn’t resist HG. 🙃
😂😂. Thanks for revealing HG’s secret!
No problem MP. I’m the baby of the family and we’re notorious for being tattle tales. Hahaha 🙃
Haha mine would always be in water works. He thought it impressed me. He was obsessed with looking like the most caring man on earth lol
empath007, sounds like your narc was a natural actor!
If a genie gives you three wishes:
1. Eliminate NPD
2. Clean up all the damage caused by narcissists
3. Remove emotional thinking
If a leprechaun gives you one wish:
If you’re a billionaire now because you just won the lottery:
Hire scientists and researchers to find a way to eliminate NPD
That’s what happiness is, that’s peace.
HG, narc said he loved babies. Was he capable of that? Also, I witnessed him giving his old clothing to a homeless guy. Would a narc do that? It was a glimpse of something good, but I couldn’t feel 100% that it was genuine, yet I couldn’t realize the motive.
Yes to gain fuel and exert control, facade management.
Ok, thank you HG. I just assumed a narc couldn’t be bothered with babies and homeless people, but I see there’s always that facade to maintain and fuel to had.
If “bothering with them” provides us with a benefit and it is easy to obtain, we will do so. It will never be done out of emotional empathy with no return because we have no emotional empathy. There must be something in it for us and even then many narcissists would not, as you rightly identify, even bother.
HG, this reminds me of a time when someone bought a sandwich to give to a person who was homeless. At that time, I had assumed it was generosity. She gained fuel from that person, and also from me, when I said “That is a really nice thing to do”. It was what she did to me some time after that, that I found very hurtful / damaging – all the ‘clues’ were obvious yet ‘hidden’. I felt nauseous for a moment here. It was about a year in total but her ‘facade’ dropped a number of times and it became almost a daily ‘occurrence’. Again, as you say, HG, it’s the behaviours.
Is this article new?
I quite enjoyed it.
In regards to why do people get moved by acting… every man I’ve dated makes fun of me for this (In fact the normal more then the narc lol, the narc would fake tears right along side me 🤣)
But I think there are a few reasons for this. And the reasons don’t have anything to do with being weak and gullible (from my perspective)
First off acting is an art form. People have been telling stories and acting out tales of
Humanity for centuries. The whole point is to convey emotion and to represent a period in time just the same
Way visual arts and music would throughout history. People have been moved by this art form for quite some time.
Also. And probably more importantly. It’s a major money making industry. How do people make money?? They connect to your emotions… just the same way a car company or clothing company will appeal to people’s sense of superiority. Movie makers will try and capture an audience in hopes to make a lot money.
When people cry in film it is their empathy/sympathy/happiness kicking in. The person can relate to the character and their experience, the person can connect with the character etc. Also… crying is a cathartic emotion. It provides release. Sometimes it may not even be about the characters but the need to cry and let our emotion about whatever has been troubling someone can rise to the surface when getting lost in the film.
I don’t think weakness is the correct way to look at it. There isn’t anything weak with being able to connect to your own emotions and relate to characters.
Hi empath007, I agree with you, it is definitely not a weakness to be able to connect emotionally strongly enough for a person to have a physical reaction of crying. When I was a child I have hated about myself that I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I felt that is was a manifestation of weakness or losing. This thinking was caused by being made fun of or mocked while crying by the person who made me cry. I also hated it when I was in the classroom and I couldn’t stop myself from crying even though we have to resume with the lesson and classmates were looking at me puzzled or worried. I never wanted to look weak and I felt that crying makes people think that I am and I hated it. But you know what, I wouldn’t have gotten my US citizenship and meet my dad if I wasn’t such a cry baby. Lawyers told me and my dad that I will not get the US citizenship because I was already 26 when I started processing it and it should have been done before I was 18. My strength and tenacity gave me the drive to prove them all wrong and not give up on seeing my dad so I researched laws and compiled and organized all of my evidence and that process was not for the faint of heart. I have been denied and rejected several times at the Embassy only to figure out what I lacked and then try again. That last day I was so sure that I had everything and that my case was bullet proof with all of the evidence that I brought with me but at the interview the interviewer didn’t even look at my evidence and didn’t even look at my face and just told me that I am denied. I have felt so amazingly powerless and I had to sit at the waiting area because I had to cry. And cry I did, the Geyser way. I was trying to make myself stop crying and compose myself so that I wouldn’t attract too much attention and so that I can finally leave and ride the bus without red eyes and nose. But every time I wipe my tears new ones would come out just like that. A lady asked me what was wrong and I told her a little bit but not much since telling her about it was making me cry even more so I was trying to make her lose interest and just leave me. She was there to renew her passport, she is a Filipina who is already a US citizen. Her number was called by the same guy who interviewed me and didn’t even look at me in the face. His demeanor towards her was more polite and friendly because she was a citizen. I was surprised to see though that she looked angry at him and she was pointing at me and which made him look at me while I was trying to stop myself from crying. She looked like she was upbraiding him. After she was done she left but gave me one last look like she was wishing me well as she was leaving. Miraculously the guy who interviewed me called me in the microphone to come back to his window. He finally looked at me and all of my documents and apologized to me and praised me for organizing all of that evidence. He said that there is so much fraud so they don’t even waste time anymore and so he apologized to me. I couldn’t believe that what I though was my weakest characteristic would be my life changer.
I have read your other posts and I just want to say that I am sorry that you are having these feelings about the horrible revelation that you learned about a family member and all of the evil things going on. I don’t have a perfect answer. I just want to say that it is heartbreaking and a lot of times we feel powerless and we know that in 99% of those evil things going on in this world there is nothing that we can do to help or change or fix it. I think that what we shouldn’t allow it to do is to affect us negatively where it would impact our lives and let the sadness affect the things that we can do. We have to remember to feel grateful for the things that we can do such as giving our kids the healthiest and kindest upbringing that we can so that when they grow up someday they will impact so many other people that we will never even know in a positive way. Somebody raised that lady who helped me in the Embassy. Somebody made it possible for her to be a US citizen and to have the confidence that she had to stand up for me when I was powerless. She could not help fix 99% of all of the injustices in this world but she fixed mine. Before I left my home country in my last visit I asked left money for my cousin to give to our other cousin whom I heard was only eating rice and salt for dinners because he’s impoverished. I had an email from the cousin who gave the money to him telling me that our cousin was so shocked and touched that I still remember him even though I probably only met him less than ten times in my life and I’m already in the US. I was thinking how can I forget him? Those few times that I saw him he was always super nice to me and one time my mom and I were struggling financially in the city and we saw him accidentally. He was working at a construction site there and he got paid each day. He gave us money which helped us buy several meals. He gave it without hesitation and with the biggest smile. And so now that I was in the position to help him of course I wouldn’t hesitate at all. And if allowed myself to believe those lawyers who said that I would never get my US citizenship, I would probably not have been in the position to help him back.
And also I believe that no two individuals are ever exactly the same. My mom was a Lesser Narcissist and she would never condone child sexual molestation. She was overly protective of me so that I would never experience it. She would always cuss at rapists on the news with extreme hatred and pray for those child rapists to get tortured. The disorder makes them not feel empathy and their entitlement skews their ability to see that they are not always fair or right but it doesn’t alter their ability to understand what is right from wrong. They do share similarities owing to how their disorder works but they are still unique individuals who make unique choices and have unique backgrounds. 💕
Hi MP. Thanks for sharing your story. I always love hearing people’s life experinces and what shaped them into the person they are. I’m often full of questions for people because I genuinely find other people’s lives so interesting. So thank you for sharing that. Also for offering your perspective on my current situation.
In terms of all narcs being different… I understand that not all are murderers, pedophiles etc. I do beleive given their nature, should the correct external stressors be put on them..: that they are all capable of committing such acts. Whether they do or not in their lifetime is dependant on the individual. Even empaths given external stressors can act in hurrendous ways. The Narcissist’s is even more prone due to thier obsession with power and control. That’s my opinion…
In terms of condoning behaviours such as the extremes listed above I think most “don’t” purely based on the fact that we operate within a society who’s perspective is widely that those things are wrong (HG and I had a debate about this as well… I believe the majority prespective regarding these topics is objectively correct and not subjectively – once again – my opionin) the Narcissist’s (majority not knowing they are what they are) will naturally agree with these prespectives because they are trying to do the normal thing (which is what drives them to get married etc) so although of course many narcissits won’t particpate in this activity the fact that they lack emotional empathy makes it so that they don’t actuallu really “care”… they will only pretend to to either a) fit in with the majority. Or b) facade management.
I know they are all not exactly the same. I know they won’t all participate in such behaviours…
But I think their motive not too… and the fact that they are naturual born abusers… makes the risk and potential a hell of a lot higher.
Never say never. That is a mistake.
They are always capable of any abusive controlling act given the the opportunity is there.
Hi empath007, thank you for your response. I just want to let you know that beyond some weird glitch your reply is not appearing on my browser. I got an email notification of it but the message was truncates so I could read the whole thing. I will try a different device but I just want to let you know that I am not ignoring your reply. 💕
All good! I am probably going to make an attempt to be off the site more… I find it’s taking a lot of my time. So if I am slower to respond… that is why 🙂
I am the same empath007. I just got stimulated by your posts so I couldn’t resist sending a comment. I thought that you raised a lot of interesting thoughts. But I’m also not going to be here as often as I used to. I have gotten much busier lately. Thank you for the discussion. 😊
Hi empath007, it finally showed up, thank you. I actually agree in a major extent with your opinions and they are very reasonable. And I understand the never say never although it is a contradiction in itself which makes me think that there are instances when we can say never. But it’s probably just the overthinking trait of mine lol. It’s just that I knew my matrinarc so well that I can really bet my life that she could never sexually abuse a child when she was still alive. I can say the same thing with my MR half sister. But I am aware that some narcissists prey on children. There were some events in the news that I will never forget due to the heinous nature of the crimes even though I have never met those people and I used to think that only drugs will drive people to commit such acts. Now I am fully aware that some people really don’t have any conscience and it is a disturbing and horrible reality. When it comes to sexual attraction and even power play, preferences also come in as a factor. I believe that a lot of narcissists, no matter how they emotionally or even physically abuse children, would think that a sexual act against a child is disgusting and appalling because they do not have the disorder of being attracted to children or pedophilia. My mom’s narcissism was clustered with paranoia and it was hell living with her but she wasn’t a pedophile so even when my male cousins lived with her as children for vacations etc., there were stories of her picking on them or making them do bad stuff like damaging a neighbor’s property etc. But there are never any stories of any sexual molestation done to them. Narcissism can get clustered or symbiotic with pedophilia or other disorders such a necrophilia etc. in some people but not all. Both my mom and half sister would be horrified at the thought of anyone disrespecting a dead person and would be disgusted with the thought of germs and other contamination’s from touching or getting near a dead body. So in a major way, disorders are not all the same. But I totally respect your opinion and perspective and we can totally agree to disagree but I actually agree with a lot of what you said. 💕. I want to like your comments but my browser is not letting me like comments. I can like comments if they appear in my WordPress by pressing the star button but it is rare that comments show up in my WordPress.
Also I want to add something that I remembered regarding negativity from Mr. Rogers that I love. He said that when he was young and he was so sad and scare about the news with the bad stuff happening, his mom told him to focus on the ‘helpers’. So he started focusing on the rescuers. She told him that whenever something bad is happening there will always be someone helping. So he focused on looking for the helpers and he started to feel good. I love that anecdote about him.
I have a hard time liking comments too in WordPress.
I understand what you mean about your mom And obviously you knew her and I didn’t. But she had other tactics she preferred.
I think never say never is a good philosophy.
For example I’ve never done drugs in my life …: but who’s to say I don’t get in an accident and then get addicited to pain killers? We are all susceptible to change due to external stressors.
And Narcissist’s are
Worse. Because they have no empathy, conscience or guilt which means they will use any means necessary to control.
I have been slightly negative lately… just on the blog too much… but I also stand by those statements because they are reality.
I love Mr. Rogers! Did you see
His documentary?! It was great 🙂 and that is one of my favourite quotes too 🙂
The convo MP! Hope you’re having a good day.
Haha no I haven’t seen his documentary but I will look for it. I actually didn’t grow up with him because his show wasn’t aired in my home country. But I learned about him when I had kids and I absolutely love the guy. My kids love him too. I’m so glad that the world got to know him.
Thank you as well and I hope that you also have a great day and weekend! 💕
Is anyone else just feeling down and negative lately? … all this narc talk is starting to get to me.
Not to mention I just found out someone I know had been sexually abusing his children for years… 😞
I don’t want to be Niave and let people walk all over me… but I also don’t want to live in this state of negativity much longer. It feels unnatural…. because I know for how much darkness there is in the world there is some light too.
How are some of you managing this balance between understanding there are bad people , but not being weary of everyone and finding the goodness in others still?
Any advice would be helpful.
We are all here for you.
You are sitting with some uncomfortable feelings now as a result of your newly acquired education around narcissism. This is entirely understandable and normal. Please don’t be too hard on yourself, it takes time to move through the natural stages of learning and understanding toward acceptance. You are integrating your new-found knowledge of narcissism into your norms and understanding of humanity. This is no easy task.
Right now it seems you may be testing your learning as your emotional thinking tries to convince you that your awareness of narcissism is a threat to your hope and optimism for the future. Your logical thinking would tell you that this knowledge will help you make informed choices within your relationships. In HG’s words, you are “crossing the emotional sea”. This is good news as you are making progress.
How do I manage the balance between acknowledging the evils that exist and not become consumed by this?
1. When I read HG’s work I do so from the perspective of standing on a balcony looking upon the narratives objectively. I do not involve myself nor attempt to take responsibility for his choices or behaviours. I focus on the value of having the educational opportunities provided and his generosity in doing so.
2. In everyday life I choose to believe that regardless of their personality profile all people are doing the best they can with the skills, resources and relationships available to them. It is easier for me to maintain this belief when I have strong boundaries e.g., if their best is destructive to my health and well-being I need to distance myself from them.
3. Narcissists, their abusive behaviours and manipulations existed in the world long before my awareness of this. My awareness will in the long-term have a very positive impact on my personal safety and relationships.
4. There is dark and light in all situations and each day we must show up knowing our strengths and vulnerabilities, accept what we cannot change and do the best that we can with the knowledge and skills we have. I value optimism and so I won’t change that value regardless of what I learn about others. I can live in a world with all types of people, stay true to my values and feel a sense of peace in all of this. For me, the key is strong values, self respect and personal boundaries – these are my forcefield and I will not compromise them. I stay in my lane way and therefore lessen the impact of others on me.
It sounds like there is a lot going on for you right now – I am pleased you reached out. I hope this information is helpful but I respect it is different for each of us. Take care – thinking of you.
Thank you for taking the time to write that. All good advice I need to keep in mind.
Excellent thoughts Sarah!
Hey Empath007 sister, it is OK to feel blue with all this narcs talks:)! When I discovered this blog I was crying ( and still cry) after reading the articles. This happens because we are going through our catharsis, our minds finally are changing – we are finally able to evaluate the damage from being ensnared with Narcs ( partners, parents, siblings, friends). But going again through this ocean of emotions make us stronger – not overnight, not even noticeable at the begging , but slowly, with baby steps. Don’t be afraid of your emotions but don’t be their slave. If the pain makes you cry – cry for a while then wipe your tears and remember that tomorrow will be a better day:)! The healing takes longer sometimes, give yourself enough time to heal.
GOSO from the Narc but remember that the goodness could be found everywhere else. It could be as little as a smile from a child or being kind to a stranger in the shop or in the bus.
During my own entanglements my work kept me sane because it required a lot of human interaction. I am not a saint but I simply couldn’t bring my sad feelings and bad mood to my workmates or treat them poorly.
If you have time , try some volunteering work – in an animal shelter or within the local community. Nothing is more rewarding that putting a smile on someone’s face.
And for your own wellbeing – “ don’t be moody, shake your booty”:) – а pleasant walk in the park, a dance or a gym class , even a guilt free shopping will lift your mood instantly.
The sun always shines after the storm.
Thank you 😊 I appreciate you taking the time to write that
I’m not hypervigilant or looking for clues in my interactions. There has always been good and bad, and I go about my business as I always have, but I pay attention and trust my intuition when there is a red flag instead of passing it off as something else. If the flags continue to accumulate or I get a sense that the person is only taking from me or bringing negativity then I don’t feel bad about cutting them out (and of course they are not all narcissists). I come first. That is not selfish but self respecting.
Thanks NA. That’s such a straightforward approach. And such a wise approach too. Boundary setting is one of my biggest issues (no surprise) so I’m definitely doing some self
Work with it.
Empath007, it is a disturbing revelation to learn that there are truly evil people in the world. I’ve learned that the way to no longer be victimized by these people is to know what they are and accept it. Ever seen the movie “Creep”? It’s on Netflix. There’s a powerful scene where the killer says to the victim, “your greatest mistake was that you thought I was good”. In other words, we are vulnerable to these people because we don’t believe what they are.
I’m sorry to hear what you learned about that person you know, or thought you knew. That is so horrible and disturbing. Are the kids safe now? If not you should call the child abuse hotline in your area to report it. You can do this anonymously.
I agree there is still more good in the world than evil. I’m sure you are an example of this through your love and concern for others. Any kind thing you do can bring more goodness into the world.
I love your philosophy NA! You’re like a big sister, experience wise. You’ve mastered logical thinking.
Thanks kel2day. Must be all that time I save not hugging haha. But seriously – if we learn to trust ourselves and listen to our logic, we do not have to second guess, avoid, or spend the rest of our lives alone or jaded. Enjoy life and let your light shine. Just when we do encounter red flags, we need to honour our logic/intuition and walk away. Time in my life may have been taken from me, but I’m in charge now. I decide how I want to live.
Comments like this NA are why I respect and appreciate you so very much!! Now do you really believe if there were a Xmas party at Tudor mansion, we would let you get away without hugs?! Use your logical thinking Big Sis, in a mansion full of empaths that simply adore and idolize you, that shit just ain’t happening!!! Hahaha
“Time in my life may have been taken from me, but I’m in charge now. I decide how I want to live.”
That hits the spot for me NA. Lovely and wise words. Thank you. ❤️
The negativity can get to you and it can get really, really bad.
Your statement about knowing someone who sexually abused his children is heartbreaking and MM’s letter was also heartbreaking. Child abuse is an unthinkable atrocity.
There is a lot of darkness out there. Feel your emotions; let them all out.
1. Find someone safe to talk to about what is going on.
2. If you can, go out to the movies, theater or for tea/coffee with friends.
3. Netflix or a good book can help sometimes.
4. A walk in the woods/beach may help.
5. Museums can work wonders and take you away.
It’s not easy but once you remove yourself from the negativity you can look at it from a different angle and see the light*.
*All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr was a good book but don’t read it if you are feeling down.
If you like to read, check out White by Bret Easton Elis.
I hope this helps.
Thank you K for acknowledging my statement about the family member and being able to piece it together with my upset about the letter. Very intuitive!
I love reading! And will take your suggestion as the only subject I seem to read lately is on narcissim 😳 seems I need to add more variety haha.
My pleasure empath007
Sadness can be compounded by several events in a row and then you feel like you are stuck in Molasses Swamp (Candy Land).
Camino Island (not sad) by John Grisham wasn’t bad and Where The Crawdad Sings by Delia Owens was great but sad. Jaws is a fabulous summer read and Peter Benchley is a great writer.
Funny K! I was talking about Jaws the other day!
The movie is great! And I enjoyed the book, as well.
Yes. I remember reading the book. It was my Dad’s Dad. I remember furtively reading it….
When I was chit chatting the other day with OH, he mentioned how cool it would be to have an open air screening whilst people are in a swimming pool. Then get scuba divers to swim in it.
He always was a dark bastard
PB’s books are great; I read Jaws, The Island and Beast.
Never mind PB´s books, read and review mine!
Ha ha ha…ok, I’m on it. Sex : How The Narcissist Views Sex and the Role It Plays In Your Entanglement is in the queue.
Just to curry favor, I did reread Escape and I will make sure I reviewed it.
Beast was really good. If I remember correctly, hagfish eat humans from the inside out. horrific.
Then I shall further look into that author, lovely one!
K. One of my favorite movies of all time: Jaws! Especially regarding how the town did not want the news about the shark danger to disrupt the finances of the area.
Well, what’s Jaws without a little gas lighting! Shark? What shark? There’s no sharks here; you are going crazy!
What? are you off your meds again?
K. Does the movie do justice to the book?
I think the movie is better: the Jaws theme, the teeth, the blood, the terror. I just picked up the book from the library to reread so I will be able to update my opinion but the movie is a classic.
Thanks K for the book suggestions.. I have noticed you nail some good titles on occasion and I like to read when I quiet my mind.
My pleasure Lorelei
The Boys on The Boat was very good. Hugh Laurie’s (House) dad was on Great Britain’s team during the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania by Erik Larson is another good read.
How bizarre! Fry & Laurie crossed my feed today on FB! Genius they were! How are you my lovely?
K: Thanks for the book review on verses the movie on Jaws. K, I forgot about Carly Simon: I found her song, Coming Around Again, one of the most romantic ever. Yet, when I look over the lyrics, right now, I am amazed that I find the song so romantic. Wow! But the song, the way she sings it, the angst and honesty, that I feel from her voice really touches me: “Coming Around Again”
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
But so bewildering
I know nothing stays the same
But if you’re willing to play the game
It’s coming around again
So don’t mind if I fall apart
There’s more room in a broken heart
You pay the grocer
You fix the toaster
You kiss the host Good-bye
Then you break a window
Burn the Souffle
Scream a lullaby
I know nothing stays the same
But if you’re willing to play the game
It’s coming around again
So don’t mind if I fall apart
There’s more room in a broken heart
And I believe in love
But what else can I do
I’m so in love with you
I know nothing stays the same
But if you’re willing to play the game
It will be coming around again
[repeat and fade]
My pleasure PrincessSuperEmpath
Ha ha ha…I love that song! it’s the way she sings it that makes it great. You’re So Vain is another good one.
I’m in agreement with K. The movie is better. Rare. Spielberg’s’ usage of contra-zoom was groundbreaking. I have alot to say about him. All complimentary. Poltergeist was above and beyond as was Schindlers’ List.
Unfortunately, most Directors do not understand how to shoot in B&W. Its a lost art. He does. It’s all about how you use colour as contrast and saturation. Lighting becomes incredibly important. He also understands depth of field which of course is the inverse of contra-zoom. These are key tricks which are sadly becoming rarer in our digital world.
Hitchcock, OMG Hitch, love him. Even when he had just gone over the edge himself, his last film, ‘Frenzy’ was a masterpiece. How one man could understand malice, terror and suspense like that was frankly peerless.
Spielberg was 26 when he directed Jaws. I loved Poltergeist, E.T. Indiana Jones and Jurassic Park. When I was a kid, I loved Hitchcock films: Psycho, The Birds and Rear Window.
Wow K, 26? Then how old was he when he directed Duel? (Magnificent!)
My favourite Hitch film has to be Vertigo though Psycho was the first film that truly bent my 13 year old brain. Frenzy as I’ve said. Dial M for Murder. Notorious. Strangers on the Train. Rebecca! Oh my God Rebecca! (I think to my successor I am the first Lady DeWinter. Du Maurier was a terrific writer).
Birds was bloody good too. He was just quite simply an Auteur par excellence. I 9nce went on the Granda studios tour. I dat in his haunted chair. This might explain a few things.
Shall we go Fleming-wise? Now he was a dark fucker. My fave is Live and Let Die. I adore Casino Royale.
Today I was explaining about tells to a lady. That bloody film taught me.
PN taught me how to play poker. He warned me never to play against him. Taught be all about the bluff. Not playing the bottom hand straight up. The rest I learned myself.
SS started directing at age 21 and Duel came out in Nov. 1971 so he was either 21-22. He was very young when he started his career. I forgot about Dial M for Murder and I loved James Bond films. My father took me and my twin to see For Your Eyes Only. Some of the old films are fantastic.
Fuel, er I mean Duel is excellent
Ha ha ha…fuel, I thought the same thing. It’s on my To Watch List.
I just Googled Duel and this one is a thriller. I love suspense!
Ha ha! Just seen this!
Fucking hell. That’s young. Duel is a masterpiece. I remember asking PN why did the petrol lady have snakes? I can’t remember his exact words but something like it was a motif. Which it clearly was.
You’re going to get me singing bond theme tunes. What’s your favourite?
Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney followed by Nobody Does It Better by Carly Simon.
Hey K. Seems like a few of us really rate LALD!
Songs for Goldfinger and The man with the golden gun are also amazing.
I also adore Goldeneye too.
Ok, I finished reading Jaws and the book is good, however, I think the movie is better.
Renarde: Vertigo was great. Gaslighting was involved? I think Rebecca was the first movie I saw where the beautiful woman turned out to have been the bad woman. Live and Let die is one of my favorite songs:
`When you were young and your heart was an open book
You used to say live and let live
(you know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But if this ever changing world in which we’re living
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die`
Gaslighting? Just a bit! Lovely lovely concept though!
Best song God did outside of The Beatles
Renarde: You sold me on Hitchcock’s movie: Frenzy, and you stirred my curiosity. I have no idea why I never heard of it. I keep hearing about the same ones, but not ever, Frenzy. I am watching it now….the accent on the leading man seems a bit posh, though. Circumstantial evidence is really a problem against him, so far…I am enjoying the movie…I would say, so many things could not go wrong so quickly, but, unfortunately I have experienced the adage:` When it rains, it pours.` Also, Hitchcock`s actresses are usually very pretty, but they are quite average in this film, and the writing is a bit coarse? I guess I never saw his last works, such as this film. I guess Hitchcock is a bit more jaded at this point in his career?…….ok….enough for my break…now, back to youtube and Hitchcock’s film: Frenzy. If anyone has not seen it, here is a copy if Frenzy on youtube. It starts around six minutes in. the youtuber in the black gothish cosutme narrates a bit, here and there within a few breaks, but not enough to ruin the movie: https://youtu.be/UxEuFA-9bkU
You’re right PSE, it’s different in tone. At that point he was up against far more explicit films. The guy in the suit went on to play the detective Van der Valk on TV. That was huge at the time. Frenzy is based on the real.life killings of Neville Heath – the Ladykiller. Even Hitch could show the depravity of the crimes that Heath committed. They where incredibly depraved – brutal SM killings of two women. Hed almost got caught before he killed but sadly the woman never pressed charges.
You must be referring to Anna Massey. A very good and famous character actress. No idea why he went down that route.
Still, Frenzy I think is a good film. Do you catch the neat camera trick btw?
What did you think about the ending PSE?
Renarde: I do not know about the neat camera trick. Was there only one? I can not believe they showed nudity. I bet that film was edited on TV and the likes. I bet we see more scenes and hear the writing that could not be shown at the time. I thought that leading man was sort of sexy. Maybe Hitchcock was sort of in love with him? He was almost too good for that role. I heard that Hitchcock often had crushes on his leading ladies, anyway. That guy was more attractive than the women according to my taste. The villain was terrific. So helpful to everyone. lol. Vertigo and Notorious are the smooth types of film that I think of with Hitchcock. I was unaware of Frenzy. It was interesting how the marriage agency and the police all talked about psychopathy and about a sexual predator. Renarde, do you know of any of Hitchcock’s later films like Frenzy that you found interesting?
PSE Dontt worry, it had to be pointed out to me too.
It’s the point where the villain strangled the red head, Anna Masssey. We have broken the third wall. We are now complicit as the external observer in the crime. (Breaking the fourth wall is when the actor addresses the audience directly. When done well, it’s a very powerful emotional experience).
Anyway, the trick. So simple. The camera pulls back from the murder site in the room. Right out, through the landing, down the stairs. And then to the front door.
This is when Hitch has to switch. From the indour studio to the outside lot.
It’s a great Great trick. He cannot pull it completely off because he needs to manually splice the film.
It still works because its perception.
Renarde: I just looked up Van der Walk: Not that actor! The other one. The one with the mustache: I thought the one with the mustache who worked in the bar, was too posh for the role. The one with the mustache. I could have been more specific. My bad.
Renarde: You should direct a film, if you have not done so. You see to have `the eye` for that sort of work.
Aww thank you PSE! I must confess, my own knowledge comes from being a photographer. Now some might say pornographer (entirely correctly too). Back in the day, I used to love developing my own photographs. Just B&W though. Colour is hard and frankly not worth the effort in my view.
Such a shame it’s now a dying art. It’s very rewarding.
Ha ha! You’ve made me think though. If I was a Director, what would be my genre? Kubrick was a fucking genious. I admire him. Hitch, Spielberg and to some extent Tarantino. Abraham is also very very good. Lucas has a very good eye for the visual (THX 1138 and Star Wars) but was shocking at interpersonal interactions so he’s excluded.
Ridley Scott is a also a genious as is Danny Boyle (his opening ceremony for the London Olympics was sublime).
Rodger Michel is a very talented theatre and film director and his interest in females (this is do to his own fractured mother relationship, wonder if hes guessed it yet?) strikes him out as unusual in an age where the more mature female as topic is largely ignored by Hollywood. It’s a pity that recently, he’s directed a few box officable films where the subject matter was beneath him, really. He probably did it for the money and he knows that’s not good.
I’d also put in Chaplin and the Lumiere brothers.
So my genre would be suspense, the weird, murder to an extent and of course the macabre but not conventional horror/gore stuff.
As for rom coms? I simply dont have the stomach for them. This strikes me as very very amusing being an Empath and all! But now argghh….my favourite book and film is Gone with the Wind. Ostensibly it is a love story but it’s more than that. I guess a melodrama but I think it goes deeper.
And even in the choice of Directors. George Cukor was fired because he and Vivian Leigh were clashing madly over the interpretation of Scarlett. Leigh wanted her to be played with some empathy. Cukor wanted to have Scarlett played as the ‘bitch she was’. Note that specific term of ‘bitch’. That’s narcspeak. I’ll come back to Cukor.
So he left and was replaced by Victor Fleming who directed the majority of the film. He understood Leigh. But Clark Gable did not understand Fleming. Gable wanted ‘a mans director’. Supremely ironic really as Gable had got to the top on the back of the ‘casting couch’. Guess he really did need to be told how to act ’empathy’. Not shown it.
I do think Fleming deserves a special mention as he went on to direct ‘The Wizard of Oz’. A film REDOLENT with narc concepts and ideas.
As to Cukor? He went on to direct the ultimate Narcsite film, Gaslight. (BTW, I had to Google both Fleming and Cukor. I was surprised to hear he had directed that film).
Who’s your favourite Director, PSE and why?
Renarde. I have favorite movies: So, I would guess those would include my favorite type of Directors at times? My favorite movie and book is: The Day of the Jackal, the 1973 version (the book was banned for a while because of its details on creating and obtaining false I.D. and its elaboration on the philosophy of how to create effective disguises). I think the lead actor, the assassin, would be an elite mid range narcissist somatic cadre and was great casting. Goodfellas (I loved the directing on this movie, definitely). The Godfather (very Narcish). The War of the Roses, with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner (When Narcs collide?). Groundhog day (about evolving) and Baby Boom (getting Sam Shepard all to oneself, and getting a baby without having to give birth to it, and getting your own business as a female, a trifecta!) and Multiplicity (cloning to get all the things you need to do, done). Fail Safe (both versions regarding faulty technology leading to nuclear attacks and sacrificed cities). Executive Action (the killing of JFK…a banned movie for a few years, and I believe this exciting and detailed movie shows what really happened by `whom` and why and how–most Americans have not seen this movie). Almost any costume period movie with gorgeous clothing. Any espionage/spy movie. Black Sunday (I love sports so the attack on a sports stadium was exciting in a bad way). Renarde, I guess I know little about directors. But, I do not like dark colored murky movies. Mostly clear and bright with good lighting. Expensive and well made movies. I want to see more Hitchcock. I would love to work my way through all the best classic movies over time. I once lived near a classic movie theatre owned by a private family in NYC, and unfortunately it had to shut down. That place showed a variety of movies and classic movies and foreign movies, and had meet the director and meet the producer events and it had a little cafe and coffee shop. A very quaint and special place. So sad it was forced out of business. Regarding photography. Do you think good photography can be taken on the IPhone? And, if so, how does one obtain great copies of the photos that one takes on a cellphone to put in a physical handheld album. I have been thinking of trying photography since the cellphone camera is always with me now.
PSE. Has anyone ever observed that you write like HG? Dont bother yourself unnecessarily about this. If you were to observe my written word, you would think that I was aping my father. (I was.
His handrwriting in Copperplate is far more beautiful than mine).
But to movies.
If you are suggesting PSE is me, you are wrong. If you are merely observing that PSE writes like me, interesting although I do not see it myself.
I was making an observation on the latter, HG.
I used to imitate my father too. Especially in my handwriting.
Noted, thank you for the clarification.
I will say that he had extraordinarily beautiful copperplate. No one (except for some antiquated public schools I guess) teach it anymore.
PSE I think a good photograph can be taken with anything. I’ve had SLRs since I was 10.
Problem with phone is the fixed lens which means you have no control over apeture or shutter speed. That is problematic. HGs IG photos are really good.
I think the only advice I would suggest is ensure that both front and back cameras have the best resolution you can afford.
Now you have piqued my interest with Executive Action. The film JFK is amazing too. Cant think of the director now.
Thank you, they are taken with an iPhone.
Oh? I’m on a S8 plus. I love it. I did tried an iPhone, 3 it was but I couldnt get on with it and have stuck to Android ever since.
There is a lot to be said though about how carefully Apple have locked down their proprietary software.
I was somewhat surprised by the quality of the pictures that appear because cameras on phones are notoriously pants, although Shieldmaiden´s father has a very good camera on his phone as he took some pipe sharp crikey vision pictures out in the wilderness recently. A proper camera remains the best option.
I think so to but the problem remains how you understand optics.
This used to be a subject I adored but at Xmas, my exH gifted me a picture of my two children. A lovely gesture one might say.
But the picture was all wrong. I’d hung it on the wall and shortly after that I tumbled to what bothered me about the picture.
My ex is an excellent photographer and like me, he knows his optics. The picture of my two children is all wrong. I find it distressing to talk about actually so I beg your pardon that I don’t discuss the mechanics of it. My children are not machines to be manipulated buy my ex.
Oh my silly ex. I should NEVER have been left alone in the living room. It took me precisely 0.2 seconds to discover the twin.
Then I understood the game he was playing. I now have a copy of that second picture on my own phone.
I was probably left alone for maybe 30s. All the time I needed.
Interesting observation on SMs fathers’ camera. Do you know what phone he has?
Renarde, PSE doesn’t write like HG at all. I find her to be quite expressive and her writing style and way of structuring her writings conveys this and is very different from HGs. Perhaps you get that impression from PSE because she is in agreement with HG a lot of the time and does refer to his terminology when explaining things? NarcAngel has been “accused” of being HG for what seemed to be similar reasons, mixed with her extensive knowledge on the subject and giving very good advice herself when she deems it helpful for the other reader. That’s just my idea of why you might perceive it as such.
Renarde: I wonder if reading so much of HG Tudor`s work is latently influencing my thoughts, which may influence my writing somewhat, and of course thereby be an enhancer of my writing style as a residual benefit? PSE approves! Although English is my native language and essentially my only language, I have always felt clumsy speaking and writing it, Renarde. As if somehow it were not the natural language for me, for the way I would love to communicate and to express myself and to emote. I feel as if I were stumbling about, so to speak, speaking and writing the English language. I am sure HG was surprised when you said that!!! You never know what he has thought about my writing to himself secretly and then he hears someone say that my writing reminded them of his. Ha ha. Truth is stranger than fiction, they say. And sometimes Truth is also ironic and funny. Regarding your father: Anyway, these are rough times: I think beautiful handwriting script is no longer taught to most children in the U.S. I am sure your father`s handwriting is elegant and beautiful.
You are a honey and a sweetheart. I’ve just caught Desiress comment which was very well intentioned.
I’m so glad you’ve taken it in the spirit that it was intended. I genuinely mean no malice x
Keep on asking those Qs as I do. All the time. How will we ever learn anything otherwise? I dont promise I know any answers at all. I perceive I may know some but again, that’s simply my interpretation and I frequently get it wrong. I hope I have the humility and grace to apoligise when I do.
You’re smashing BTW x
Renarde: The movie, Executive Action, is so good. Starring Burt Lancaster. I am not sure why that movie was banned for a while. JFK is more stylish, while Executive Action is a bit dirtier and shows all the deliberate psychological manipulation of Oswald and all the people that have to be involved and what the planning and research is like for an operation of that sophisticated nature to both assassinate a sitting president and then to largely get away with it unpunished and `undiscovered`. When I saw Executive Action the first time, I was actually looking for a different movie, that I believe had executive in the title, and Executive Action came up. I asked myself, what is this movie? And when I read the description, I wondered why I had never heard of it. So, I was interested and I watched it and found it to be very well done and alarming. In short, I saw Executive Action by accident. I never heard of that particular JFK movie before. After I watched Executive Action, I wanted to know more about the movie and googled it, and then I found out it had been banned for a while. So, JFK is the definitive movie to most people, but I think Executive Action is much more realistic and plausible about how the assassination went down, from planning to execution and why JFK was killed. It was an Executive Action.
PSE Then I will now definitely try to find it.
BTW an incredibly strange thing happened last night (which might be behind my comment. Again. Apologies)
I went to the local shop. Was stood waiting to be served.
The man in front of me was buying cat food. Apropos of fuck all he turned to me and stated the following.
He was a film director (!) On his way out of the UK to Dublin. He was taking the lead actor from Peaky Blinders there as there was a major film role he needed to, I think, be casted for.
He needed to feed his cats whilst he was away which he had forgotten about.
There are many problems with this.
1 – Dont give a flying fuck who you are. Why are you telling me this?
2 – You SERIOUSULY expect that a film director would tell a random what they are up too?
3 – Physical observation . You’re running the ‘Ross Kemp Lite’ program.
4 – You get into your black BMW replete with the obligatory low profiles.
You are a dealer who is escorting talent. So you are also into protection as well.
Jesus. Fucking semi-epsilonic moron.
AND he ignored my advice that fresh cat food should just be for a treat. Buy dry. Tit.
Anyway, considering how we’ve had a lovely discussion about film making, I thought you’d appreciate this.
Still. Fucking weird
Desiree: Yes, my writing is stilted a bit, I feel. However, my professors told me I have a poetic touch, as well. I do not see that, the poetic touch, but I guess they have seen enough writing, over their decades, to know. I know I dangle my modifiers a lot, and other things, and I naturally by personality lean towards writing colloquially, stylewise, instead of formally. But, I feel complimented by what Renarde sees in my writing, in particular that my writing in any way reminds her of HG`s writing. I am quite/very pleased. Huzzah!
Ahh excellent PSE. X
Renarde: Here is a trailer clip (around 3 minutes) from the JFK assassination movie from Youtube for the movie titled: Executive Action:https://youtu.be/KxSHi6B8qEQ
Renarde: Here is a link for the movie Executive Action that I found on DailyMotion. I hope it works for you: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3uhs0j
Thank you PSE. So kind!
I am so sorry for your awful discovery! That information is a lot to process, especially when in the midst of becoming more aware and understanding of the evil narc dynamic. I agree it can really make the world seem like a dark and threatening place. I personally was never a super trusting or naive person. I feel I’ve always had some element of skepticism about me. But going through this process, learning what it’s all about, has really opened my eyes to the evil all around. I guess I manage by keeping my circle very small and by truly appreciating the good that I see in others, even in the slightest gestures. And I try to put good out there as well. Nature always helps me to refresh. Exercise too. Sometimes I need to take a break from reading the blog as well, simply because I become too focused on the narc. I am an avid reader and have begun getting back to novels again versus narc content or narc related memoirs. Sometimes it can be a difficult balance, but just being mindful can really help. Big hug <3
Awwwww sweetheart….. how dreadful for you to find out something so horrific about someone you know ….. the enormous comprehension of it all would be so difficult to digest
We empaths would be grieving for his innocent little darlings …that bastard has just written on their slate of who’ll they become and who to trust ..forever 😢
I try to manage any negativity by controlling what I watch and read for a start
If I cannot change things I have no control over, I move on
Reading Mr Tudor’s work was extremely difficult for me for a long time ….. it still can be …. however my mind set has changed to him providing educational information
Im always extremely busy and therefore I only really have one n a bit days to “myself” completely, so, I spend it by doing lot of “calming” things, listening to relaxing music, reading, pampering myself with manicures n facials, having a cuppa in the garden, walks and I luv anything that makes me laugh
We also go to the theatre and movies
I still see the good in people, however, my alertness button is now highly activated and my overthinking is extremely low
Finding that perfect balance is essential along with staying in the present and not the past
I may “reflect” on the past here, but I certainly don’t live there anymore
I hope this helps a little precious one and sending you my warmest thoughts n wishes
Take care precious
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you bubbles I appreciate these words a lot you are very sweet 🙂
Never forget my lovely one ……
The positive always outweighs the negative
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Madam Bubbles: I was reading on another post last night, and it seems that the Weasel is completely out of the picture in your life? I was under the impression that he still was around. If you were able to extricate your life from his life completely, how did you do it? How long was he entangled with your family? How long did it take before you realized that the dynamic with him was bad? Was bad blood created when you separated from him? How long was the process? Did you know some of the same people together? Does he live closeby? Was your reputation involved? Whatever you are comfortable to post, I want to know, please. I ask you so many questions, Bubbles, because your dynamic is of the non-physical intimacy type, such as my case. Thank you.
PSE. I think that Bubbles’ name needs to be prefixes with ‘Madame’ at all times.
How are you Madame Bubbles? X
I’m very flattered that you should ask my sweet … I didn’t really think my story was that interesting to anyone
1) The Weasel is definitely out of the picture…the only time we would see him is on Veterans Day because he and Mr Bubbles are in the same march (his group is directly behind Mr Bubbles and we go to the same drinking hole after the march, last year we didn’t see him at either (which was a first)
2) The weasel supposedly had PTSD …. so he played mind games. He’d give me snippets here n there and I’d have to put the puzzle pieces together …one became an outright lie which I challenged, he denied it, however I remembered it like an elephant … that was it for me ! I have zero tolerance for liars !
I tried to severe ties over the course of the friendship over 6 times …. he always came back pleeing he’d do something drastic if we weren’t his friends anymore
3) We were friends for over 4 years …. we knew most of his family n kids and I was close friends with his ex partner. We were all social together
4) I knew when I first met him something was “off” ….however I just couldn’t place it, I naturally gave him the benefit of the doubt …as one does
5) Was bad blood created when it ended ? Well let’s just say, we longer associate with anyone from his side
His ex partner n new hubby shop where I shop and we still say “hi” and a quick chat then that’s it
I have no idea if I was smeared or not … I don’t care !
6) He lives 10 mins from us and his ex lives around the corner
7) He tried to love bomb me in the beginning and I immediately put a stop to it ! His daughter was dating our son ..see how entangled it all was ? Even after the kids broke up we all still remained friends …even the kids, I know right !!!
Anyway, he had a heart attack and I helped him thru the rough patches by helping to clean n cook
He started to get stroppy again, so I challenged him! (I had his text as well for proof)
I planned and executed his final demise …. he wanted space to collect his thoughts, (I think he was trying to discard me) so I gave it to him permanently before he had the chance
It was perfect !
I’m more than happy to answer further questions sweet heart …I hope this has been of help
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Dear Madam Bubbles. I am practically speechless over how intertwined your entanglement was with the weasel. Even intergenerational. Proximity and everything else. OUCH!!! Thank you for telling me. It all sounds like a rising dangerous crescendo that you stopped before something extremely disastrous occurred. Whew.
Hi Empath yes I can relate .Sometimes I feel like I’m paranoid or picking up to much information from people’s behavIour it is exhausting sometimes.
I look at others and it’s all in one ear out the other and they go on their merry way.
I am stuck analysing and delving into everything instead of not giving a shit .
I recognise the behaviour now but it is easy to let it consume you like a prey animal always looking out for the hunter.
The work here is really valuable but try not to overthink it .Its hard I know .
Maybe do something fun or emotionally rewarding .I love a hug or a warm bath.
Think positive thoughts .
There are lots of triggers here and when you are feeling fragile it can stir you up big time.
Much love Kiki❤️
Thank you Kiki!
Hey Kiki. I to feel the same way. Its almost as if ‘society’ has done kind of selective amnesia. I do try to test this.
So, a pist on my FB came up a few days ago. A Court had removed all access to a mans’ children. No other details as to why have been published, so far as I can see. He took his life. He lived for the weekends when he saw his daughter.
I posted my story. Exactly the same but obviously, I lived.
I frequently attract attention on social media. I get it all the time. So how many acknowledgements did I get?
Nothing. Nadia. Zilch. Not even a like. That’s very very unusual for me but tbh, expected.
I have tried this experiment before. I was at one time a very popular poster on Fetlife. I had ‘friends’ who were named as Fetlife royalty. One in particular I used to batter with privately.
I’d frequently get masses of likes and loads of comments (but not on the scale as my female writer friend).
So it was extremely intriguing that when I switched from writing about sex/kink to historical paedophilia and murder in the Royal Family that I didn’t even get ONE comment, let alone a like.
But this topic was abuse in the 1890s!
My ego could’ve been dented except I knew I am a competent writer. It was just the subject matter.
That day really made me think.
A competent writer? Fucking spellcheck.
I have learned from my ex master to hide all emotion! It is sad really, because emotions are life and passion! I love my passion! He hated my passion and often used it against me. I will heal that too eventually!!!
All knowing of Narc knowledge. I was with a mid ranger and he could be compassionate to me at times but could do it easier when holding my hand or physical touch. What was he really doing?
Now during devaluation, he doesnt even try to look concerned or care. I say F him lol. He’ll get his. I’m sure he is enjoying being blocked on Fb and doesn’t know I’ve changed my #.
Controlling you and gaining fuel.