A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 107
Dear Lesser,
It has not been confirmed that you are a Lesser but it is safe to say that anything you are compared to you will always be lesser than it.
I saw all the red flags as the night went on but I wanted so badly to believe you were a good guy and I mistakenly put my trust in you. That’s why I considered seeing you again but then you showed no sign of remorse or accountability when I questioned you the following week.
I realized then that is who you are as a person not just when you’re drinking. Someone who forces himself on women and spits on them.
I was more than generous with you that night but that wasn’t enough for you. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties not just you. I made it clear when I was pulling your hands off of my eyes that I DID NOT LIKE THAT but you just held on tighter.
I said “NO” numerous times when you kept trying to put it in my ass but you wouldn’t listen. And then you spit on me three times!!! Why?? To disrespect me? Shame on you! No human being deserves that. WHO RAISED YOU?
I understand how serious this allegation is and I would never report it unless I was 100% certain that you had crossed the line.
You and I both know that there was zero consent the second time and you forced my legs apart and held me down. Most guys err on the side of caution these days but not you. You did whatever you wanted to me and had no respect for my body and no regard for my safety.
Does that make you feel like a powerful man? You are not. You are a lost boy.
A real man cherishes the woman.
A real man protects the woman.
A real man owns up to his mistakes.
A real man controls his impulses and confronts his demons.
You have not done any of those things.
I hope it’s not too late for you because you have a long life ahead of you and if you continue on this path of destruction it will not end well for you my friend.
STOP using women as receptacles to dump your toxic waste into, otherwise you’re going to find yourself in jail on the receiving end of your own disgusting act.
29 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 107”
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I don’t how old this letter is, or if the person that wrote it is still on the blog reading? AC if you are still reading the blog I want you to know I’m sorry for what he did to you and also I want you to know that I understand. I didn’t report anything either, not the molestation as a child or the rapes as an adult. I believed it would only make matters worse and I also didn’t think anyone would believe me. I hope you have found a way to heal from the abuse that monster put you through. He deserved to be punished for what he did to you!
It was me FM1T😔
It happened a few months ago and I’ve been laying low. It definitely changes who you are as a person and I can’t imagine having gone through something like that as a child. I am so very sorry you went through that and had to carry that with you throughout your entire life. You are so brave and strong for enduring what you did and you never allowed it to tarnish your sweet heart. When I share my story with friends, so many can relate yet we never speak about it until someone else discloses. There’s so much shame around it. But it has helped me build even stronger bonds with some of my friends. People I have known for decades but had no idea that this was part of their history.
It never crossed my mind that no one would believe me. The details were just so disgusting and violent that I could never make something like that up. I don’t know if I would have had the courage to come forward if it wasn’t for this blog. I’m also so grateful for the Sexual Assault Centre and my doctor. They have my back and almost effortlessly they have connected me with all the right people.
My biggest challenge will be speaking up to the police. When I am scared and intimidated, I can’t speak. I go silent and freeze. I think of all the things I should have said or done after the fact.
Thank you sweet friend for your support. You are in my thoughts often💕
Oh Twisted no not you! I am so so very sorry this happened to you! You have absolutely no reason to feel any shame my sweet girl, he is the one that should feel shame! We know he won’t because he is a heartless bastard that is lower then whale shit!! Don’t think of the things you should have done and said, it is to late to change that now, think of the challenge that lays ahead. You can do this! We will all be right here to get you through it. Don’t go silent, this is your time for your voice to be heard, I can understand being afraid, but do not let that slimy bastard intimidate you! He cannot hurt you anymore. Do this for you and for the ones who did not have your strength to speak up when it happened to them! You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I will be right here sweetie if you need me! Twisted if you feel speaking to HG will help you in facing him or any of this, please don’t hesitate to do so! Money is not an issue, I promise you that! HG please help her if she wants you to. I will cover the consult fee. This absolutely broke my heart Twisted, I’m so sorry! 💞
Thank You❤️
I will consult with HG if the file is reopened. Right now it is still up in the air. I was afraid to go to the police at first because he knew where I lived but I hoped the police would protect me and so far they have not. The worst part is that it was a female officer and she was part of the blame and shame game. I’m not trying to ruin her career or his life, I just want people to wake the fuck up. My lawyer told me that they make this process hard because somebody’s liberty is at stake. It fucking well should be shouldn’t it?! He’s clearly dangerous and high risk.
If the police decide they can’t press charges then my lawyer said I have the option to sue him in civil court and I would have a good chance of winning because it doesn’t require proof beyond a reasonable doubt. I just can’t imagine getting up there and telling my story and the judge not being like “Why aren’t we arresting this guy?”.
What a bunch of bull shit! I say fuck her career and his life!! They don’t deserve to have them! You deserve your day in court! You have done nothing wrong! Just remember if you need HG and have trouble with the funds, I will help you. If that is the case, contact HG through email and he can contact me. There is no need to thank me, we are here for each other! 😘💞
There is Angel Assistance.
I know NA, this one touched me personally and I want to make sure the funds are there if she needs it.
FM1T
I understand. I just mentioned it as a reminder to everyone as it’s new.
I’m happy you mentioned it NA. I thought of it and then the concern was that there would not be enough funds available if she would need it. Everyone on here is important to me, but at times someone touched my heart in a very endearing way. Twisted is one of those people.
Hahaha FM1T I love it when you swear!
I’ll be able to handle the consult fee but thank you for your offer. It’s nothing compared to how much it would cost to retain a lawyer.
FM1T
Big hug to you, too. You are the sweetest.
Thank you Joanne. Here is one right back at you. 🤗
TH
I am so sorry this happened to you… It’s comforting to know you have a good legal team behind you. I cannot believe the police! Well, I suppose I can. Law enforcement is just full of narcs in itself 🙁 I wish you so much strength to fight this and to heal yourself as well. (((big hug))) I hope he goes down in flames!!!
Thanks Jo💕💕💕
Damn I’m sorry you had to go through that sounds horrific then when a guy like me gets a woman they have gone through that then they take all that shit out on me
This IS rape. Reporting a narc for rape seems it would be worse than enduring act itself. I’m imagining the response of a narc at being accused and the burden of proof being placed on the victim by authorities. His ability to charm and convince authorities with his lies, while details are gone over time and again. Reliving that awful experience. What a nightmare! I wonder how many women this piece of shit has treated that way and gotten by with it and continues to do so?
Hi MB,
It was rape. And it was reported and completely dismissed. However, some lawyers in my city have started offering free legal aid for sexual assault victims and I got the best lawyer in my corner. Their firm is notorious for holding the police accountable. We have now filed a complaint against the police and requested that it is reopened and investigated properly. The lawyer is a criminal defence lawyer and she said she has seen minor and major incidents of rape and what happened to me was major and she doesn’t understand how the police didn’t even bring him in for questioning. She said she has seen men be charged for doing a lot less than what he did to me. So I feel like I have the fight of my life ahead of me but I have an army behind me. If it does go any further, I will be consulting with HG to coach me through the legal process so that I can keep my emotional thinking in check. Standing up to the police will be the scariest thing I will ever do. They are so intimidating. I am also fully prepared to accept that it might not go anywhere but I need to take this as far as I possibly can.
For sure he has done it before and I’m almost certain the police know about it.
They said if it happens 3 or 4 more times then they will know there is a pattern there. WTF!!!
70% of sexual assaults are never reported so that means he would have to do it at least 10 more times in order for 3 people to come forward. And that’s being optimistic!
Wow. I hope you or your lawyer gets the opportunity to question publicly and matter of factly how the 3 or 4 more times to establish a pattern would hold up if it were one of their wives or children. I would love to see their face and hear the response to that.
NA, you’d make a good lawyer.
Twisted Heart
I hate the police. Thank God you have a competent attorney in your corner and there is Angel Assistance, if you need help. There is a strong possibility that he’s done this before so you are doing the right thing. It will be an uphill battle but we are all here for you if you need us.
Your situation reminds me of the book: Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer. I suspected that some of the detectives and the prosecutor were NPD. They displayed a stunning lack of empathy for rape victims like yourself.
The second rape is, sometimes, more traumatic than the initial one. This attitude is inexcusable and I am very sorry that you are going through this horrific experience.
Before I go any further,
HG am I compromising my case in any way by sharing these details on a public forum?
I would avoid using real names but beyond that there is no issue.
Ok thank you HG.
Thank you K. That means a lot to me. Oh god, I can’t imagine a prosecutor with NPD. What hope would you have then? The police are clearly desensitized, the officer’s cognitive empathy felt rehearsed and it seemed like they were protecting him. My lawyer said from hearing my story, he (the accused) definitely has a mental disorder so I think she knows exactly what we’re dealing with. I think I’m going to stop here for now. I only allow myself so much time per week to talk about this because it takes so much out of me.
I really appreciate your understanding and support❤️
You are welcome Twisted Heart
Setting a time limit is very smart and I am happy to read that your lawyer understands what you are both dealing with.
It’s all our parents do. Of course without sex. But also sometimes rapes their children, they sexually molest. Forbidden to eat us. Now. They decide how much to eat. What to put on your body. When to close your eyes and sleep. They were torturers. Now we just play the same. I don’t want a mother or a father. They are just these patterns of violence. Nothing more than that.
There is an exit. See this diagram. And start feeling the emotions that are there. Fury? Grow above them. Get away from them.
HG, I just have to ask this question. What is It with narcs and an obsession with (non-protected) butt sex? To humiliate, to avoid eye contact, to hurt?
See the book “Sex”.
My guess is control.