Plagued – Malign Follow-Up Hoovers
Hurt and pain are integral in the narcissist dynamic. Whether your narcissist is male or female, an intimate partner, a family member, friend or colleague, there will at some juncture be the appearance of hurt. It is the primary source, usually an intimate partner, who carries the largest burden of this hurt, since it is they who spends the most time with our kind, is entwined in our manipulations and suffers the worst of the devaluation and discard. Whilst the incidence of hurtful behaviour cannot be denied in the devaluation, there may be some comprehension that it occurs because the Formal Relationship between narcissist and victim is continuing. Judged by the victim and a normal person’s standards, that hurt should not occur at all, but once one understands the nature of our behaviour, it is understandable, albeit not accepted, that it occurs during devaluation.
The hurt that is occasioned by the discard is like any that occurs when somebody has found their romantic and intimate relationship terminated. It is safe to say however that when the cessation occurs as a consequence of our discarding, the hurt is amplified by the cruel nature of the discard, the confusion that surrounds it and the contrast with the golden period that once shone so brilliantly. From pedestal to the thorny ground. Often in a matter of weeks.
The hurt is understandable and recognisable when it occurs in the context of the devaluation period and the consequent discard. Yet, what of the aftermath and the hereafter? The hurt invariably continues following the discard. I do not refer to those dark, lonely days as you attempt to piece together what happened. That howling wilderness where nothing makes sense and you are left to pick yourself up and tackle the daily agony of what has happened to you. The gnawing hurt of wanting us back, the bewildering mystery of why somebody who supposedly loved you could do such a thing to you, the stark realisation that we have moved on to someone else without so much as a backwards glance towards you. The misery of unanswered questions, the wretchedness of the emptiness that hangs around your day like a spectre and the shame as the drip, drip, drip of realisation causes you to ascertain you have been conned.
Harsh as those things are, they are the residue of your entanglement with us. The collateral effects of us taking from you. These are all difficult enough to comprehend and deal with, especially in an eroded and worn down state. But why do we return and pile hatred onto the pain, misery onto the woe and malice onto the hurt? Why do we engage in the Malign Follow-Up Hoover?
The Malign Hoover occurs when we revisit you, in many different ways, sometimes in person, sometimes through technology and sometimes through others with the intent of hurting your further. Why do we do this? Have we not made you suffer enough? Have we not had our fill of your begging, pleading, loving, attempts to make us happy? Why can we not just leave you be? You do not even have the less hurtful experience of benign follow-up hoovers where we seek positive fuel and to charm you back into the Formal Relationship. This is pure, unadulterated malice, directed at you time and time again.
Let us start by ascertaining which of our kind utilises this hoover? The answer is, all of our kind. The Lesser. The Mid-Range and the Greater all engage in the application of the Malign FUH. It may not happen with every victim, but it part of each school of narcissist’s arsenal.
When is it used? It occurs when the Formal Relationship has ended, thus when you have been discarded or if you have managed to escape.
How does it occur? As ever, since it is a hoover, it relies on the Hoover Trigger and the Hoover Execution Criteria being fulfilled but there are additional considerations and motivations which you ought to be aware of.
The Greater Narcissist. If you have been discarded, you can expect a Malign FUH reasonably soon post discard, because the energy levels and intrinsic malevolence of the Greater will facilitate this type of hoover more than the Mid-Range or the Lesser. The Greater has an enhanced desire to punish you for failing us (hence why you were devalued and discarded) but those treatments are not deemed enough. You failed. We see this as a criticism of us and therefore it is justifiable to punish you. The Malign FUH is also deployed because the fuel we gain from your negative emotional responses to being hurt, assists us in powering our ongoing seduction of your replacement. Thus, not only are you being punished for your perceived failures, you are being used to ensure that your replacement is embedded and seduced.
The Malign FUH allows us to triangulate you with the new replacement and it allows us to demonstrate to the façade that you are trouble and this is why we have to be harsh with you (we have been left with no choice but to do this – or so the façade is made to believe).
The Greater may switch to a Benign FUH at a later stage (usually when your replacement is being devalued) and some positive hoover fuel is required or even to tee you up to return to the position of primary source. It is the case however that following your discard you will face Malign FUHs and they will arise shortly after the discard has happened so long as the trigger and criteria occur.
Where you have escaped you will face the Initial Grand Hoover first of all in order to suck you back into the Formal Relationship. If this fails you will have a period of respite, many weeks, perhaps months, as we focus on the acquisition of a new primary source and remain away from you as a consequence of your resistance denoting that we are wasting our energy and you are an unattractive fuel prospect. Once our fuel levels have increased again and have done so for a while, then subject to the trigger and criteria the Malign FUHs will occur. As above this is to punish you, but the malice will be greater because you escaped us, the ultimate act of treachery. The new primary source will be in place, therefore there is no need to for the fuel that is generated to seduce this person (although it may be partially used to power the ongoing golden period). More likely, the fuel gathered from these Malign Hoovers is so potent and effective that we use the power generated to keep hammering you with more and more hoovers. This creates a dangerous situation because there will be a combining of a Malicious Obsession and a Fuel Obsession so you are lodged in the sixth sphere thus there are repeated triggers. The fuel has been obtained and thus the criteria is more readily going to be met.
If you have escaped your narcissist and you find that you are being subjected to repeated and sustained malign hoovers of this nature, you have been unfortunate enough to become lodged in the sixth sphere owing to one or probably both of these obsessions.
The Mid-Range and The Lesser Narcissists have far less interest in punishing you. They do occur and if so, they will be shortly after your discard and short and sharp in nature. These narcissists do not have the energy levels to embark on a sustained campaign of Malign Hoovers purely for punishment, they need to utilise the fuel to gain more fuel from their seduction. It can happen, but their concern is to focus on the new primary source and therefore their malign hoovers are designed to power their seduction of your replacement. Accordingly, if you have been discarded, the Mid-Range or Lesser will be focused on your replacement and if they deploy Malign FUHs this will be done to provide them with fuel to secure the seduction and embed this replacement. Once this is achieved, the Malign FUHs will tail off.
If you have escaped, you will also experience an Initial Grand Hoover from these types, but if it fails they will need to focus their efforts on securing a new primary source and gaining that fuel promptly. They will not have the energy or desire to maintain a malicious campaign against you as well. You are more likely to be left alone as they deal with their fuel shortage and then any follow-up hoovers which occur down the line are far more likely to be benign in nature, since the seduction and embedding has already taken place.
Accordingly, Malign FUHs are predominantly, albeit not exclusively, the preserve of the Greater Narcissist.
This is not complete however without some consideration of you, the recipient of these Malign FUHs. Dependent on what category of empathic individual you are, this will also impact on the nature and purpose of the hoovers.
Versus an Empath. This will be done to draw negative fuel and potentially to draw you back in to the Formal Relationship so the pain stops, but Benign FUHs are more likely to be used to achieve this latter aim with the empath.
Versus a Super Empath. This is done to draw fuel only. The Super Empath will not be drawn back into the relationship through Malign FUHs, but they will seek to resist the impact. They may well provide fuel from their responses of frustration, hurt and anger, but we are aware that there is no prospect of returning the Super Empath to the Formal Relationship. That can only be done through the Initial Grand Hoover or Benign FUHs.
Versus a Co-Dependent. Again, the Malign FUH will draw fuel but the Co-Dependent is, of all the empathic types, the one who is most likely to be pulled back in because of a Malign FUH as they see it as the only way to halt the agony that is being caused.
What do Malign FUHs appear like? There are hundreds of different ways they manifest. Here is a selection.
1. Posting your mobile number on a sex website so you receive repeated calls harassing you;
2. Shouting insults at you when we see you;
3. Putting a brick through your window;
4. Slashing the tyres on your car;
5. Following you and glaring at you;
6. Sending funeral wreaths to your home;
7. Sending vicious text messages and e-mails;
8. Having Lieutenants contact you to insult you;
9. Daubing insults in paint on your car or house;
10. Smearing dog mess on your windows;
11. Threatening to contact social services (or indeed contacting them) so you are investigated;
12. Hacking into your computers;
13. Leaving notes and messages containing threats and warnings;
14. Posting comments about you which are unpleasant on social media;
15. Uploading intimate footage of you onto porn sites;
16. Posting intimate pictures of you on the internet and/or to your family and friends;
17. Incurring financial liabilities on your behalf;
18. Setting fire to possessions you have left with us and dumping the charred remains on your drive and/or sending you footage;
19. Threatening to steal/harm your pets;
20. Repeatedly driving by your home or workplace.
21. Reporting you to the police and/or other authorities so you are arrested/investigated;
22. Seeking a restraining order against you on trumped up grounds.
How do you deal with the Malign FUH? Understand whether you are at risk of it happening by considering the points above. Stay out of the spheres of influence, make yourself a F.R.E.E. in the hope that the hoover execution criteria are not met (chief amongst which is reducing all potential contact as far as you can) and thereafter bracing yourself. If they keep happening, avoid giving fuel as best as you can and seek assistance from others to either build a buffer between you and us (thus making the criteria harder to fill for a hoover to take place) or escalate the matter to the relevant authorities on the basis of harassment and/or specific criminal behaviour.
Understand how it happens, why it happens and thus you can prepare yourself.
What has been the nature of the Malign Follow-Up Hoovers that you have experienced?
16 thoughts on “Plagued – Malign Follow-Up Hoovers”
HG—some of these examples seem characteristic of someone with little creativity such as dog mess etc.. Why would a high energy narcissist do something so gross? Like I can see the intimate footage or those types of things—but disgusting things? Really? I’d think it’s the arsenal of a lesser as they are less hygienic and not bright enough to provide a creative thrust. Yet, they don’t have the energy to really “go there?” This is a thought fuel thing right? Thought fuel is that powerful?
I’ve had #5 (albeit, from a great distance), #11 and #21.
Thank-you for this article HG; it is new, correct?
Also, my no contact was quite good, once I knew what real “no contact” was – and these types of hoovers happened when he had no other route to get to me. Would it be accurate to say that a combination of malign intent (due to the fact that I escaped), desperation to get negative fuel and being ‘ignored’, would result in such extreme behaviours?
For example, mine called the police for one missed phone call with his child (I was sicker than a dog and my phone was charging) and he also fabricated evidence and then showed child protection services so that they were obligated to investigate me.)
It’s just as if he was desperate to know that I was thinking of him – or talking about him to third parties – without any recognition of how such acts were a waste of these resources and the professional’s time – which, even the professionals recognized but were obligated to follow through.
What happens in situations when you escaped (via Restraining order) and the Greater Narcissist is incarcerated and unable to Hoover or obtain “good” supply? Do they just wait until they are released to Hoover? The Lieutenant’s have tried and failed thus far.
A Greater Narcissist incarcerated? What nonsense is this?!
Someone who is in prison still has access to a fuel matrix.
Was Epstein not a Gr?
There’s plenty narc games going on in prison. My daughter’s father spent some time in prison waiting his trial “back in the day”, and was eventually acquitted. It sounds to me like he actually enjoyed what went on in there, and wouldn’t mind if he went back. It appealed to his sadistic side. I think he fights tooth and nail to actually avoid a “criminal record” so it doesn’t affect his social status and getting fuel from Empaths in our world outside of prison.
Not a one!! IT is maybe a Mid Ranger so I want to hope he’s done with me!
If they have done these things… would they make it known? I suspect some of these but I don’t have any hard evidence about it.
Also, what if you use these techniques on the narc? I have been tempted to do #1 to him, not necessarily a sex site (although that would be enjoyable) but just put his number all over the place.
Is it worth doing or would that just cause a hoover trigger if he suspects it was me?
It was another great day in court today!
Spill the tea.
I am getting ready for trial for the custody of my daughter. At the beginning of our case, it was so bad. The narcissist and his attorney’s filings were just lies and top of lies. But they were so extreme, that the judge didn’t know what to think of it. She granted temporary orders in his favor. Their approach has been to bully me this while year. At our last hearing, the judge modified a lot of her last orders to give me more of the legal decision making, than the narcissist, and she wasn’t buying their theatrical anymore, and she said that she has had a problem with the narcissist being inconsistent with his parenting and claims against me.
However, one thing that could have ruined my case, a while back ago, I went out for drinks and lunch with a girlfriend. When I was driving home, some guy was riding my tail, so I pulled over to let him pass me. Instead he pulled over to have a confrontation with me. The police were called, and he was charged with some type of road rage charge, and I was charged with a DUI. Even though my kid were not with me, my daughter’s father’s attorney would have totally ran with that incident as an ongoing issue at our custody trial. I had a Case Management Conference about that charge yesterday, and my BAC was only a 0.01 above the legal limit. I have a really good attorney on the case who is going to file to drop the charge altogether.
Things are aligning together really well, and I jumped through all of the hoops I need to. I don’t think the narcissist is going to get his way for final orders. The evidence they now have for trial is just out of desperation.
Glad to hear that things are positive and falling into your favour moving forward.
Glad to hear it all went well.
Thank you. I’m holding on to the positive vibes, and moving forward.
After several pulls, triangulation was his next step – crying, wheezing, begging that after weeping (when he caught me in strength to cry in my clothes) again triangulation, where my anger was so great that I hit him in the face three times with all my strength and I ran away.
When he returned after a few months again (he was waiting for me in front of the house) I went for a walk with him and did the same as he did to me – I criticized the jacket, I noticed that the stool and he had not big muscles, he had a lot of gray hair. I looked him straight in the eye. I talked about my new friend and played our favorite song. I noticed how tiny he got. How did it affect him, how did he lose his confidence. I also said that I know that he was conditioned so much by his mother and that I am grateful to him now because he taught me to say no, putting myself first. And nobody taught me that before. And that I forgave him.
Now he sometimes leaves me presents outside the door, I won’t let him in. I let him fix the dryer once, but I suggested it myself and he won’t let me in again. And there won’t be more emails. And there is not. When I call the intercom, I pull out the plug.