A Very Popular Narcissist?
Taylor Swift. Having sold more than 50 million albums—including 32 million in the U.S.—and 150 million singles, Swift is one of the best-selling music artists of all time. As a songwriter, she has received awards from the Nashville Songwriters Association and the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and was included in Rolling Stone‘s 100 Greatest Songwriters of All Time in 2015. Her other accolades include 10 Grammy Awards, one Emmy, 23 Billboard Music Awards, six Guinness world records, and appearances in Time‘s 100 most influential people in the world (2010, 2015, 2019). She also ranked first in the Forbes Celebrity 100 (2016 and 2019), and was the youngest to be featured in the magazine’s listing of the 100 most powerful women.
Talented? Yes.
Popular? Undoubtedly.
Narcissist? Let’s find out.
My explanatory observations are in bold italics. As ever, for the hard of understanding, this is an analysis with regard to whether the individual is a narcissist or not. It is not a judgement about whether the person is “good” or “bad”, so if you are a fan of Ms Swift´s music and approach the discussion missing the point about it being an analysis I will just shake it off.
Childhood and Teenage Years
Taylor Alison Swift was born on the 13th of December 1989 in Reading, Pennsylvania. She tells two different stories in regards to how she got named. (This raises a suggestion of fluidity of self).
The first version claims that she was named after singer and songwriter James Taylor, the soft and gentle songwriter of “Fire and Rain” that her parents adored. The second version however, claims that her Mother wanted to give her an androgynous name with the expectation that Taylor would be working in business one day, so people should not be able to discern her gender from her business card. (Either version shows aspects of grandiosity).
Both of Taylor´s parents worked in finance. Thanks to Taylor´s Dad´s position at Merill Lynch, Taylor enjoyed a privileged upbringing in a wealthy household and was also a 4.0 student. (Potential gilded lifestyle which may have formed a lack of control environment). She grew up on a Christmas tree farm with a grape arbor and seven horses in eastern Pennsylvania, while Swift´s father commuted to work.
It was later said that in the school she went to, you were judged by the brand of handbag you brought to school. That is a pretty high bar for middle schoolers, indicating that the school harboured many children from an equally well-off family. Of course, Taylor had no trouble meeting the required standards in the handbag department and later on, her parents gifted her a champagne coloured Lexus convertible to drive to school with. (Again this supports a gilded lifestyle which in itself is not determinative but is an indicator of entitlement and the lack of control of environment).
These details are especially interesting, given that Taylor has for years now maintained the sob story that she was a complete outcast and bullied by the other students constantly. (Revision of history) (Blame shifting). She credits these traumatic memories as the cause for her “search for approval“ as she calls it and what caused the origin of her “Squad“, that will be referred to later. (The search for approval equates to a recognition of the need for “fuel” the lifeblood of a narcissist, whereby the emotional output of another individual, caused by the words and/or actions of the narcissist sustains the narcissist and allows the narcissist to recognise that control is being exerted over the relevant individual or individuals). The formation of a squad demonstrates the creation of an extensive fuel matrix (the body of individuals which a narcissist ensnares in order to provide the narcissist with fuel, character traits and residual benefits) and the creation of a Coterie.
Taylor´s image is that of the adorable underdog, one which she seeks to perpetuate at any given opportunity. (Facade management) In several interviews – most notably her documentary called “Journey to Fearless“ – she talked about these awful experiences and how she managed to prevail and succeed against all odds. (Grandiosity) A big part of this narrative was her assertion that she taught herself how to play the guitar, because her parents didn’t want her to pursue a career in music at first, and that she had to beg them for years to take her to Nashville. She says that a “computer repair guy“ came to their house to fix the computer and taught her a few chords on the guitar and she taught herself full time after that.
This “computer repair guy“, while he does repair computers for a living sometimes, is also a guitar teacher from Nashville named Ronnie Cremer, who taught Taylor the guitar for over 6 hours every week under the insistence of Taylor´s Mother. (Note the earlier story about teaching herself full time is a lie and evidences the concept of victimhood – “I taught myself against the odds” ” I had to beg my parents (because they would not let me do what I wanted)
He said Taylor´s Mother was tyrannical and would yell at him and verbally abuse him over the phone if he tried to do fewer hours with Taylor to focus on his own business. (On the basis that Mr Cremer´s evidence about Swift Senior is correct this raises the suggestion that there may well already have been another narcissist in the household which would account for a genetic predisposition towards narcissism and the relevant agent to create a lack of control environment for Taylor Swift by being controlling towards the young Ms Swift).
After coming out with his own story of events, Ronnie Cremer said that he did not feel good about letting people know how Taylor´s PR Team has repeatedly been lying about the story. He said he is never the type to begrudge somebody else success and understands why they didn’t want to tell people that “a 36 year old bald guy“ taught her how to play the guitar, because that would not sell as well. However, he not only taught her how to play the guitar, but also introduced her to a program that was useful for songwriting and recording and explained to her how to formulate a song, which was likely the start of her writing, as well. (Nobody would have been overly concerned about this being the truth in the formation of the artist and a non-narcissist would have no issue with it being publicised. This raises the suggestion that the manufacturing of the backstory may not have come from Ms Swift and instead she might be the victim herself of a music mogul narcissist. That must be kept in mind.)
In regards to Taylor´s family, Ronnie Cremer said that Taylor´s mother was the one to push her not only into starting to make country music, but was also acting like a full-blown stage mom right from the start.( This controlling influence from someone who is meant to provide a caring environment provides evidence of the formation of a lack of control environment which is integral to the creation of a narcissist, albeit, its presence does not automatically mean that someone will become a narcissist)
Ronnie said that he was also trying to help Taylor build a website during the time he taught her, but that her mom Andrea made that incredibly difficult. He stated that if he would not drop everything he was doing to help with whatever Taylor´s website needed, Andrea would “lose her mind“ and further described her as a bull in a china shop. Taylor´s mother Andrea and father Scott had a bad relationship as well, with Scott telling Ronnie “I got a wife that doesn’t love me. I’m trying to help my daughter out and do all the right things and my wife could care less.“. (Once again it appears that a narcissist was prevalent in the household already)
Ronnie Cremer also spoke of one particular incident that makes it clear that Andrea´s horrid behaviour extended to her daughter as well.
Taylor is the older of two children, her younger brother Austin was quite chubby as a kid, while Taylor was slender. One time, her brother Austin wanted food from the fast food restaurant Taco Bell and Taylor said that she would like some as well. Their mother, Andrea then brought home food from Taco Bell but only gave it to Austin and told Taylor that “nobody wants to see a fat pop star“. Apart from the horrible treatment of her daughter, the phrasing “pop star“ is interesting, since it not only contradicts itself with the assertions that her parents did not want her to become a musician, but more importantly, that they said she only ever liked country and pop songs as an “experiment“. (Presence of narcissist in formative years, revision of history, telling of lies.)
In a Rolling Stone interview from 2009, 19 year old Taylor promoted her album “Fearless“, the journalist alluded to Taylor´s need to control her environment and states “Swift likes to do everything the right way, and most of the time that means she likes to do everything herself.” (Rigidity of approach, application of control.)
Love and Relationships
To state that Swift has had many relationships which are high profile, is an understatement. She also uses her experiences and those of others in her music. There is nothing inherently narcissistic in using your experiences in music, art, literature, film or just talking about them, after all, they are your experiences, however, it is the manner in which Swift uses them that lights up many narcissistic indicators.
In a 2009 Rolling Stone interview, the journalist commented that
„The illogic of love is unsettling to Swift, who has a hard time understanding it with her supremely rational mind. Music, for her, is a way of expressing feelings that are largely repressed or absent.“
Swift, when talking about her music went on to explain that about half of her songs aren’t even about herself, but about her friends´ relationships. She further stated that she loved “watching and studying love“ which indicates a very distant viewpoint on this emotion and an inherently formulaic approach to songwriting, that is very unlike what one would expect of her bubbly persona and a teenage songwriter in general.
This is especially noticeable in a song called “15“, which she wrote about her best friend Abigail getting her heart broken by a boy. The song mentions Abigail by name several times and also includes slightly condescending lyrics such as “And when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you you’re gonna believe them” or “And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind.” have a strange undertone to them. She then proceeds to console her friend by telling her that she’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team. Using her friends experiences in this way demonstrates a sense of entitlement, poor boundary recognition and a lack of emotional empathy.
Here is a timeline of just some the relationships the 29 year-old Swift has been involved in
Joe Jonas (July 2008 to October 2008)
Lucas Till (March 2009 to April 2009)
Taylor Lautner (August 2009 to December 2009)
John Mayer (December 2009 to February 2010)
Cory Monteith (April 2010 to May 2010)
Jake Gyllenhall (October 2010 to January 2011)
Eddie Redmayne (October 2011 to January 2012)
Zac Effron (February 2012 to March 2012)
Conor Kennedy (July 2012 to October 2012)
Harry Styles (December 2012 to January 2013 with a rumoured fling in April 2012)
Calvin Harris (February 2013 to June 2016)
Tom Hiddleston (June 2016 to September 2016)
(Of those known relationships, there are twelve in an 8 year period. The high turnover of intimate, romantic relationships, the short duration of many and the close proximity between the end of one relationship and the commencement of another are all commensurate with the behaviour of a narcissist whereby repeated romantic narcissists form a major part of the narcissists fuel matrix. The idealisation of an individual and their ensnarement followed by devaluation and their eventual disengagement, is the hallmark of the narcissistic dynamic between narcissist and the Intimate Partner Primary Source (a boyfriend, fiancé or husband. This list is highly indicative just as a list, but what if Ms Swift is just “unlucky in love” and she keeps attracting narcissists (and there is no doubt there ARE some narcissists in that list) so let’s look at some of the relationships.
Joe Jonas
Swift claims Joe Jonas broke up with her over a 27 second phone call. (Victimhood)
Joe’s side of the story is this “For those who have expressed concern over the ’27 second’ phone call, I called to discuss feelings with the other person,” he writes. “Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk.” . (Jonas´call presented as Challenge Fuel to Swift. Her need for control meant that she asserted control by ending the telephone call and then in order to manage her facade and blame shift, she maintained that he broke up with her and did so in a 27 second phone call, suggesting he was blunt and callous.)
Swift did not stop there however.
Swift is well known for writing about her supposed heartbreak in her songs. This is not only a clever manipulation to engender sympathy and sell records, but it enables her to have The Last Word (The Last Word is a common narcissistic manipulation design to assert control by making a final statement against another individual.) Indeed, Swift has found herself lampooned about this, the parody YouTube site “Key of Awesome” noted this in their excellent take on “Shake it Off” with the lines
“if you break my heart you’ll end up in a shitty song”
Swift repeatedly uses her songs as a platform to assert control over past boyfriends. She does so without naming them but in a way which leaves little doubt as to who she is referring to (the narcissistic step of plausible deniability and creating Shifting Sands)
With regard to Joans, Swift dealt with this by writing a song about him called “Forever and Always“, and uploaded a video on the then popular Platform MySpace. In this video, she holds up a Joe Jonas doll and remarked
“See, this one even comes with a phone so it can break up with other dolls.“.
Swift did not stop there, but later proceeded to call him out on Ellen, stating that when she finds the perfect guy, she won’t even be able to remember the one who broke up with her over a 27-second phone call. She has apologised about this incident in her last appearance at the Ellen show earlier this year, (false contrition, facade management) but thoroughly enjoys the attention that came with this scandal at the time. (fuel)
Harry Styles
She went on to write a song called “Style”, about Harry Styles, who has refused to speak about this in public, despite having been given plenty of ammunition by Taylor. She opened the Grammys in 2013 with her song “We are never getting back together” and used the opportunity to put on a fake British accent for the line “I still love you”, mocking her ex in front of millions. (Exhibition of the need for control, Provocation and The Last Word).
John Mayer
The song “Dear John“ is about calling out John Mayer for allegedly playing with her when she was too young to understand what was happening
/don’t you think 19 is too young to be played by/ your dark twisted games when I loved you so?/
John Mayer described this song as “a humiliating experience“ in his Rolling Stone interview, quote:
“It made me feel terrible […] because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do.”
Taylor Swift did not consider it necessary to inform Mayer about this song either, noting she would be “dropping hints“ in her lyrics so everyone would know. She said that there was no need for her to go write E-mails about it. This only added to John Mayers shock:
Mayer now tells Rolling Stone that he learned about Swift’s feelings directly from her song. “I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call,” he says. “I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I’d already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you’ve ever been, someone kicked you even lower?” (Provocation, Lack of Emotional Empathy, Revision of History)
He went on to state that Taylor Swift abuses her talent in this manner:
Mayer also takes issue with “Dear John” as a musician. “I will say as a songwriter that I think it’s kind of cheap songwriting,” he says. “I know she’s the biggest thing in the world, and I’m not trying to sink anybody’s ship, but I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait till he gets a load of this!’ That’s bullshit.”
Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston
A further act of manipulation with regard to romantic manipulations with regards to her relationship was the love triangle with Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston, that preceded the creation of her latest album „Reputation“. Taylor Swift was in a relationship with Calvin Harris for 15 months total, but seamlessly moved to Tom Hiddleston in June 2016. (Triangulation)
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris were said to have split up amicably, but it was later confirmed that Taylor had met Tom Hiddleston even before the breakup. (Infidelity, triangulation, lack of emotional empathy, sense of entitlement).
The relationship between Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston was often referred to as a very public “whirlwind romance“, given that everything from the first time they met, to their dance at the 2016 Met Gala and some “paparazzi shots“ of them kissing on the stones of Rhode Island was out there for the world to see. (Sense of entitlement, love bombing through swift entanglement, the phrase “whirlwind romance” is a euphemism for the narcissistic manipulation of love bombing whereby a romantic victim is ensnared very quickly for the purposes of bringing the individual under the control of the narcissist)
One of the most notable incidents was when Tom Hiddleston was photographed with a white “I ♥ T.S.“ tank top at Taylor´s 4th of July party.
Two years later, in the video “Look What You Made Me Do” (Classic blame shifting comment of a narcissist) Swift reminded everyone of this noteworthy moment by having several gay people dance around her in high heels, wearing black “I ♥ T.S.“ tank tops and fawning over her. (Provocation, lack of emotional empathy, grandiosity).
However, Swift continues with her triangulation, since Harris does not escape either. In the same video. she lends an eerie nod to Harris by crawling out of a graveyard next to a headstone reading “Nils Sjoberg,” which was the pseudonym the singer used to conceal her identity on Harris and Rihanna’s hit track, “This is What You Came For”.
In a 2017 GQ Interview, Tom Hiddleston had previously explained what this tank top incident had actually been about:
“The truth is, it was the Fourth of July and a public holiday and we were playing a game and I slipped and hurt my back. And I wanted to protect the graze from the sun and said, ’Does anyone have a T-shirt?’ And one of her friends said, ’I’ve got this.’ ” The friend pulled out the “I ♥ T.S.” tank top that Taylor’s friends are contractually obligated to own. “And we all laughed about it. It was a joke.”
As for Tom Hiddleston, his PR-Team insists that he was the one to end the relationship with Taylor. She let her lyrics speak for her and wrote him the song “Getaway Car“ in which she describes him as a love-sick fool who never had a chance with her to begin with. (Lack of emotional empathy, haughtiness, grandiosity, The Last Word)
The lyrics include:
I struck a match and blew your mind/ but I didn’t mean it/ And you didn’t see it
She also confirms that she was the one to break up with him, as she ended the song with:
I’m in a getaway car / I left you in a motel bar / Put the money in the bag and I stole the keys / That was the last time you ever saw me
Of course if the contradiction is pointed out to her, she will adopt plausible deniability and state that the song is not about Hiddleston, except of course it clearly is.
When confronted about her recurring behaviour of calling out ex boyfriends in public in another Rolling Stones Article from 2012, Taylor Swift is quoted as follows:
“In every one of my relationships,” she says, “I’ve been good and fair. What happens after they take that for granted is not my problem. Chances are if they’re being written about in a way they don’t like, it’s because they hurt me really badly. Telling a story only works if you have characters in it. I don’t think it’s mean. I think it’s mean to hurt someone in a relationship.” (Victimhood, facade management, Provocation, lack of accountability)
The continuing need for control and manipulative behaviour has accordingly manifested through her using her platform as a major international artist to attack those she has deemed to have wronged her. The track record of short and frequent relationships, as stated above, tells it own story, but her need to then attack and in some cases humiliate the individuals she had a romantic relationship with demonstrates a lack of emotional empathy and a need for control. An empathic person would not behave in such a way.
Swift however goes even further. She adopts plausible deniability by not naming the individual outright but then demonstrates she knows exactly what she is doing and has neither guilt, conscience or genuine remorse about doing so. She rubs her victims´faces in it further. This is evidenced by the Saturday Night Live Monologue.
In her Saturday Night Live monologue, she came on the stage with her guitar and a song she wrote for this show especially, called “Monologue Song: La la la”. Swift then proceeded to happily strum her guitar and grin into the camera, singing
/I like to write songs about douchebags who cheat on me/but I’m not gonna say that/In my monologue/I like to write their names into songs so they’re ashamed to go out in public/ but I’m not gonna say that/ In my monologue/
Salt added to the wounds of her victims. (Exertion of control, lack of emotional empathy and provocation, haughtiness, grandiosity).
The Squad
Swift has her self proclaimed “Squad“, which consists of an army of beautiful models and actresses (and Lena Dunham) that regularly flank the singer on glamorous getaways and red carpet events. (Grandiosity and facade management).
Actress Hailee Steinfeld was part of the Squad“and once pointed out that they actually don’t spend as much time together as people think. (facade management) Actress Chloe Grace Moretz was invited to join Swift´s select Squad but turned it down. (issuing such an invitation shows a sense of entitlement) She later stated:
“They appropriate exclusivity. They’re cliques! […] I agree with having a good core group of friends, but the issue I have with squads is that it creates exclusivity […] I was never included in those things when I was a kid.“
Caught In A Lie (When Narcissists Collide)
On the 11th February 2016, Kanye West released his new track called “Famous”. Lyrics included the following:
“I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.”
Kanye claimed he sought Taylor’s approval before the release, claiming he had an hour long conversation with Taylor, that she thought the line was funny and gave her blessings.
Taylor´s people denied this immediately and claimed that Kanye had only asked for her to promote the song and release it on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a misogynistic message.
On the 15th of February 2016, Taylor Swift won album of the year at the Grammys. As they said her name, she reacted with a toned down version of the “surprise face” that people have often pointed out as coming across as insincere and strutted on the stage. In her speech, she then stated:
“As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, (Grandiosity, Self-Absorbed) I want to say to all the young women out there—there are going to be people along the way who are going to try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame, (Provocation) but if you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you’re going, you’ll look around and you will know that it was you and the people who love you who put you there. And that will be greatest feeling in the world.”
18th of July 2016, Kim Kardashian West uploaded three minutes of the phone conversation between Kanye and Taylor to Snapchat. It confirmed that Taylor had been made aware of the lyrics by Kanye and that Taylor approved of them, even throwing around words such as “respect” and “ friends” in regards to Kanye. She then promised to have people know that she was in on it at the Grammys if she was approached about it on the red carpet. (Future Faking) In the speech she had given on the 15th, she had done the complete opposite, further confirming that she had lied about everything she said to Kanye in that conversation, that she clearly saw this coming and wanted to use it to her advantage. Kim and Kanye´s fans then started to flood Taylor´s Social Media Accounts with snake emojis, a symbol she then blocked from her comments section, but later decided to make her own for her following Reputation album. She also wrote the song “This is why we can’t have nice things”, in which she depicted Kanye as a petulant child that ruined the good friendship they had for no particular reason.
This episode demonstrates Telling of Lies, Facade Management, Revision of History, Sense of Entitlement and Lack of Accountability and is a prime example of behaviour associated with a narcissist. It is somewhat ironic that the exposure of the lie occurred with an entanglement with two other narcissists, but they will have their turn under the Tudorscope.
Her announced album called “Lover” is setting a completely different tone for her new era, which seems to make people forget about Taylor´s past in that regard. In her debut single “ME!” she dropped hints and easter eggs to future reveals about the album, something she had been known to do and which was very well received by her fans. This time, there seem to be no hints to past “feuds”, “scandals” or any of the like, it’s all cotton candy coloured sweetness wrapped into the innocent self-loving message about how “you can’t spell awesome without “ME!” (Grandiosity)
Big Machine Label
On the 30th of June this year, it was made public that Scott Borchetta’s Big Machine Label Group had been sold to Scooter Braun’s Ithaca Holdings. Taylor was one of the first three artists to be signed to Big Machine Records when she was 15, but had decided to part ways with it for her new album “Lover”, leaving the rights of her past music in the hands of the label.
Scott Borchetta then proceeded to sell his label to Scooter Braun, who is known in the industry as “the man who made Justin Bieber”. Taylor hates Bieber and that means she hates Braun. (Objectification, Blurring of Boundaries Between Individuals)
Taylor turned to social media and alleged that Braun had been online-bullying her for years and that he was behind the previously described Kanye-Kim-Taylor debacle. (Revision of History, Telling of Lies) She claimed that Big Machine had offered her to gain back her rights if she re-signed with the label. Taylor also penned an open letter, claiming that Scott Braun had stripped her off her life´s work, and that this is beyond her worst nightmares. She wrote:
“ For years I asked, pleaded for a chance to own my work. Instead I was given an opportunity to sign back up to Big Machine Records and ‘earn’ one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in. I walked away because I knew once I signed that contract, Scott Borchetta would sell the label, thereby selling me and my future. I had to make the excruciating choice to leave behind my past. Music I wrote on my bedroom floor and videos I dreamed up and paid for from the money I earned playing in bars, then clubs, then arenas, then stadiums.
She further claimed that she learnt about the news of Scooter Braun buying her music “with the world” and that she was not informed of this beforehand. Taylor complains about not having had the opportunity to buy the rights herself and says that “her musical legacy” now lies in the hands of the man who tried to strip her off of it for years. As an example, she states the Kim and Kanye incident:
“Like when Kim Kardashian orchestrated an illegally recorded snippet of a phone call to be leaked and then Scooter got his two clients together to bully me online about it. (See photo) Or when his client, Kanye West, organized a revenge porn music video which strips my body naked.”
The alleged “revenge porn music video” did not just feature her. Wax bodies of several other public personas, including Anna Wintour and Donald Trump had been made for the video.
“This is my worst case scenario. This is what happens when you sign a deal at fifteen to someone for whom the term ‘loyalty’ is clearly just a contractual concept. And when that man says ‘Music has value’, he means its value is beholden to men who had no part in creating it.”
Taylor has been criticized for the faux-feminist angle she took here, given that she is one of the most powerful and influental people on the planet:
“When I left my masters in Scott’s hands, I made peace with the fact that eventually he would sell them. Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine the buyer would be Scooter. Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.”
Scott Borchetta has since made it clear that Taylor´s father is a shareholder and was represented by a lawyer during the shareholder’s call in which the deal was settled. He himself had also texted Taylor Swift at 9 p.m. that evening, informing her about the deal. It is highly unlikely that Taylor simply “woke up to the news” with the rest of the world under these circumstances. Borchetta further showed the new contract he had proposed to Swift, stating:
“As you will read, 100% of all Taylor Swift assets were to be transferred to her immediately upon signing the new agreement,” Borchetta countered alongside a photocopy of the proposed contract. “We were working together on a new type of deal for our new streaming world that was not necessarily tied to ‘albums’ but more of a length of time. Taylor had every chance in the world to own not just her master recordings, but every video, photograph, everything associated to her career. She chose to leave. As to her comments about ‘being in tears or close to it,’ anytime my new partner Scooter Braun’s name was brought up, I certainly never experienced that. Was I aware of some prior issues between Taylor and Justin Bieber? Yes. But there were also times where Taylor knew that I was close to Scooter and that Scooter was a very good source of information for upcoming album releases, tours, etc, and I’d reach out to him for information on our behalf, Scooter was never anything but positive about Taylor. He called me directly about [the] Manchester [benefit concert] to see if Taylor would participate (she declined). He called me directly to see if Taylor wanted to participate in the Parkland March (she declined). Scooter has always been and will continue to be a supporter and honest custodian for Taylor and her music. ”
In the aftermath of Taylors accusations, Scooter Braun’s wife Yael has accused Swift of public airing of laundry, saying she had no right to complain about bullying because “You were given the opportunity to own your masters, you passed. […] The world watched you for years now, picking up and dropping friends like wilted flowers.”
This episode with regard to Big Machine Label shows The Telling of Lies, Manipulation, Facade Management, Victimhood, Blame Shifting, The Revision of History, Digging Up The Past and is a substantial example of many narcissistic indicators.
Facade Management
Like many narcissists, Swift operates a facade which is used to ensnare, triangulate and control. Various instances of this facade management have been explained above and further examples include:-
- The Hollywood Reporter has credited her as “the Best People Person since Bill Clinton”. Quite the comparison to Bill Clinton there who is a narcissist himself.
- Rolling Stone remarks upon her polite manner: “If this is Swift’s game face, it must be tattooed on because it never drops.” The magazine also takes note of her “ease with glad-handing”,
- Swift is known for her friendly interactions with her fans She has delivered holiday gifts to fans by mail and in person, dubbed “Swiftmas” (Grandiosity by bastardising the name of Christmas to encompass her own name) She considers it her “responsibility” to be conscious of her influence on young fans, and has said they are “the longest and best relationship I have ever had”. (Grandiosity, facade management, objectification and triangulation through labelling her fans as giving her the longest and best relationship whilst of course she has always been let down by those in romantic relationships. This also exhibits her black and white thinking.)
- Often described by the media as “America’s Sweetheart”, Swift insists she does not “live by all these rigid, weird rules that make me feel all fenced in. I just like the way that I feel like, and that makes me feel very free”. (Sense of entitlement and lack of accountability).
Philanthropy
It would be remiss to exclude the various charitable activity that Swift has engaged in. This includes
- Swift’s philanthropic efforts have been recognised by the Do Something Awards and the Tennessee Disaster Services.
- She has also received The Big Help Award for her “dedication to helping others” and “inspiring others through action”, and the Ripple of Hope Award for her “dedication to advocacy at such a young age”
- In 2008, she donated $100,000 to the Red Cross to help the victims of the flood in Iowa that year.
- Swift has performed at charity relief events including Sydney’s Sound Relief concert
- She also recorded a song for the Hope for Haiti Now album.
- In response to the May 2010 Tennessee floods, Swift donated $500,000 during a telethon hosted by WSMV.
- In 2011, Swift used a dress rehearsal of her Speak Now tour as a benefit concert for victims of recent tornadoes in the United States, raising more than $750,000.
- In 2012, Swift supported Architecture for Humanity’s Restore the Shore MTV telethon in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.
- In 2016, she made a $1,000,000 donation to Louisiana flood relief efforts and donated to the Dolly Parton Fire Fund.
- In 2017, Swift made a donation to the Houston Food Bank after Hurricane Harvey struck the city.
- Swift is a supporter of the arts and donated $75,000 to Nashville’s Hendersonville High School in 2010 to help refurbish the school auditorium.
- In 2012, she pledged $4 million to fund the building of a new education center at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum in Nashville.
- In 2012 Swift partnered with textbook rental company Chegg to donate $60,000 to the music departments of six U.S. colleges.
- Swift also promotes children’s literacy. In 2009, she donated $250,000 to various schools around the country to improve education. Her other endeavors to promote literacy included donating 6,000 Scholastic books to the Reading Public Library in Pennsylvania 14,000 books to the Nashville Public Library in Tennessee 2,000 Scholastic books to the Reading Hospital Child Health Center’s early literacy program and 25,000 books to New York City schools in 2015.
- The same year, Swift donated all proceeds from the sale of the promotional single “Welcome to New York“, at the time $50,000, to the New York City Department of Education.
- In 2019, Swift sampled a song by the Toronto-based Regent Park School of Music in her album Lover, thus enabling the school to earn royalties from her album; she also made a personal donation.
In June 2019, Forbes estimated Swift’s net worth at $360 million.
There are many other acts of charity performed by her and nobody can deny that these are generous acts, however they must be viewed through the prism of what she is. These are not anonymous charitable acts (a la George Michael) but they are all done in the name of grandiosity, fuel gathering, facade management and triangulation. They are a symptom not of emotional empathy but of cognitive empathy. Swift´s cognitive function means that she has sufficient awareness (doubtless advised and assisted by a substantial team) to know that doing these things will bring her praise and admiration. (fuel) and form part of her facade, but they are not done out altruism. She can easily afford the donations and it is only done because she gets plenty from it. It is only fair to point out that she is hardly the first, nor will she be the last to donate and behave in such a way and clearly it is advantageous to her and others for her to do this, as opposed to not do this, but it is important to understand the context within which these acts are done. The variety of other indicators above demonstrate that this is not an individual who is governed by emotional empathy who performs these acts of charity out of the goodness of her heart, but does so because it suits the pursuit of The Prime Aims and thus it is only done because it benefits her. Most of the pop stars, actors and celebrities who do similar only do so out of cognitive empathy, so Swift is far from a sole offender in that regard.
All performers have narcissistic traits, but may not be narcissists. This is necessary by virtue of being driven, a performer and an artist. However, what many people do not realise is that a very large proportion of those who are performers and artists and who are famous and successful are narcissists, because their narcissism enables them to get to the top.
It is also the case that when someone achieves fame they will have their detractors and one must also be most careful to take that into account when dealing with differing narratives and accounts with regard to behaviour. However, the repeated nature of actions, the evidence that appears as a matter of record in print and recording and the patterns of behaviour bind together to provide the evidence which supports the appropriate outcome. A determination cannot be made on just one incident or a couple of comments, but repeated actions and comments which form a pattern of behaviour are determinative.
Accordingly, all of the necessary ingredients were there for the formation of a narcissist through the genetic predisposition to narcissism (mother) and the lack of control environment (gilded lifestyle and Grade B Syndrome “pushy mother”). The catalogue of behaviours and many, many other examples support that the sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy, lack of accountability for behaviours, haughtiness, grandiosity, manipulations and repeated aspects of the narcissistic dynamic demonstrate that Taylor Swift is A Very Popular Narcissist.
The clincher.
Watch the video to Blank Space.
Hiding in plain sight and laughing at all you victims.
(With thanks to DG for additional research)
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bookmarked!
HG, I listened to Emma Bunton the other day and it made me think, would three of the five spice girls be Ns?
I haven’t analysed them all but know two of them are.
Okay thanks HG. Guessing scary and ginger with a question mark over posh?
Dear Mr Tudor,
She’s now a late scratching in the Melbourne Cup
How timely
What an impressive overview, you certainly do your homework
Congratulations
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Indeed she was. Thank you.
I never liked T.S.. I never knew anything about her until I read this, thanks HG. To me she is just another pop star who will eventually fade away. The only song I like of hers is Bad Blood, this version https://youtu.be/0Gt-lgz0F9U. I originally thought this song was her singing about an ex boyfriend who may have been a N. Now we know she is the N so it’s her playing the victim. I read online some people think the song is about Katy Perry who T.S claims did her wrong in some way.
Perry and Swift has a feud – When Pop Star Narcissists Collide
Perry and Swift have made up. For now. The cycle continues.
Thank goodness they have, I can sleep at night now!
I wanted to keep you abreast of the current state of their cycle.
I’m obliged
When Pop Star Narcissists Collide
Is this an article? I can’t find it
No.
Is she a middle or an upper Greater?
Someone tell me. I need reference.
Also Michael Jackson pls middle or upper
I always thought uppers would be involved in politics and illuminati type
shit I don’t see Taylor Swift or Michael Jackson doing that so anyway
Taylor is a classic Middle Greater. Here’s HG’s video on that particular type of narcissist:
Yes I’ve listened to all his videos at least twice and the fuel matrix more times than I can count but I’m still having trouble with differentiation between
LG, MG & UG – probably bc I don’t know any. I assume Bill Clinton is UG(?) and Michael Jackson and TS middle except then we had Mary Louise in BLL and she threw me. I had always pictured MG having a famous career or just being a huge presence and she didn’t strike me as that.
I also STILL cannot tell between ML VICTIM and a LMR victim.
And I have no idea what the dumpster fire that is a LL looks like.
Anyone want to help I’m all ears ☺️
With regards to Greaters, their actual careers or “presence” are not determinative, don’t get hung up on it. A president isn’t necessarily an UG, a popstar isn’t necessarily a MG. It is the way they operate that makes the difference.
UG – a puppet master, feels powerful knowing that his plans come to pass and doesn’t care much if he will be directly credited for this or not. You will almost never find one in the wild. Not only are they beyond rare but also completely content with being “invisible”. You could think of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons as a caricatured version of this. He would be an Upper Greater Cerebral.
MG – have the “people touch” hence they are great with crowds and thirst for the limelight. They can often be the victim of an UG pulling the strings behind the scenes, dancing as their “puppet” in front of the people. Their ability to influence and manipulate crowds and seeming likable if it suits them makes them very good politicans, not necessarily just artists.
LG – easiest to spot because they barely maintain a facade. Their reputation precedes them but they don’t care and rely on their charm to gloss over their outbursts and get many people drawn to them regardless. They are prone to lashing out and have some similarities with the Upper Lesser, but unlike the UL, they have far better control over their fury and can make it seem like nothing happened in the blink of an eye. They’re the classic Wall Street Douche. The type of person that makes you think “God, he is a douchebag but hey, he get’s the job done like no other” and that’s what they’re riding on.
Excellent thank you
Would Patrick Bateman be an example of a LG?
And this is great info , how did you come to this understanding if i May ask? (Personal experience, HG’s work , it just clicked , etc?)
I really appreciate this. The fuel matrix gave me insight but despite listening to all HG’s work I’m having trouble grasping some of the schools . Any particular video I should re-watch ? Thx
Organise a consultation that’s what they’re there for.
Ted Bundy would’ve been a LG?
Here’s the thing- Greaters know what they’re doing – do they know what they ARE? Do they know they’re narcissistic sociopaths? Would they accept that label ?
What can I write? I’m a quick student and was taught well.
There was no specific moment that had me come to these conclusions. I came to the blog 4 months ago, read what HG provided and now use it to analyse peoples behaviours. I can answer your questions as best I can based on what I learned from HG but of course, the best way to get answers is for you to organise a consultation with him.
Do Greaters know what they are or do they only know what they do?
The self-awareness with regards to their actions is the defining factor. Whether or not they know that their actions are described as “narcissism” is not important and dependent on the individuals situation. They know that their actions are “bad”, but don’t care because it amuses them and will only regulate their behaviour for their benefit (their ability to even do this and to control their fury is a significant indicator for a Greater). Stars like Taylor most definitely know their label, she has been called a Narcissist for the longest time now.
Do they accept their label?
HG said in interviews that he was content to have a label to attach to his behavioural patterns once it was pointed out to him by a non-judgmental, psych studying Ex when he was in his 20s. I am certain this would be the case for all Greaters. They will always reject this label publicly, because admitting to it and having their victims know about it threatens their control over them. An appliance who knows about their Narcissism is considered a threat.
Is Ted Bundy a Lower Greater?
I don’t know anything about Ted Bundy. If he is a Greater, then the defining factor for a Lower Greater would be their barely concealed choleric nature (compared to MG and UG) and the relative lack of facade management. It helps to look into his childhood, youth and early adulthood to determine this, not only how he acted when he committed his crimes.
Most importantly, just because someone comes across as menacing, that does not make them a Greater per se. Greaters are capable of operating incredible facades to project whatever image suits them best. Think about Bumbling Boris Johnson, Theresa May and Barack Obama. Another example; HG kindly confirmed to me yesterday that Ralph Fiennes is a Narcissist, so now I am determining his school and cadre for my learning pleasure.
Now look at Ralph Fiennes’ interviews. That humble, almost shy demeanor, that sensitive look he gives most interviewers, the head held low. Does he not seem like the perfect English Gentleman? Narcissists are capable of taking on almost any form if it suits them. On the other hand, a lot of Lessers and Mid-Rangers will puff their chest and make themselves look like much more than they are.
If you have trouble determining, look for prominent people or people you know that you might suspect to be Narcissists and look into their childhood. Their “origin story” is often a solid indicator, as is the case with Taylor Swift and Ralph Fiennes.
Read the articles “To Control is to Cope” and “The Narcissist’s Reality Gap” and use that knowledge to analyse either someone you know very well in your private life or a prominent person of your choosing that has this information available on the internet. I prefer analysing “celebrities” because there is usually more independent evidence, whereas any narcissist I know is lying and I wont have the same kind of data available on them.
Greaters are the hardest to spot by far, start with Lessers and Mid-Rangers and work your way up. There is also an excellent article providing you with questions to ask the person you are analysing that helps you determine their school, but the title escapes me right now.
Finally, if you have a specific individual in mind that you would like to have clarity on, organise a consultation with HG. He will give you the definite answer you are searching for and is also able to give you a thorough explanation on why this is the case.
“Whether or not they know that their actions are described as “narcissism” is not important and dependent on the individuals situation. “
It’s the place I’m at in my own study , the level of self awareness of Greaters – is it defined individually or by school and how so. I’ll likely bring it up in a consult at some point if I can’t find my mental grasp of it
Thanks for your input 👍🏻Appreciate it
Quick student? Quick learner that is, guess that might refute my claim now haha
Oh no wait – TB had an impeccable facade and dabbled in politics . I’m guessing MG
I can’t believe you didn’t mention those horrific tooth veneers she has. (And can we please stop with the word “gifted?”)
Of course the veneers were the most important point to include!
Despite the lack of empathy and conscience, the ruthless use of her popularity and the way she treats her so-called ‘friends’ and partners, I still feel some compassion for Taylor.
I know, I’m a die-hard empath and she would probably squash me like an ant given half a chance, but considering her upbringing and the way she was used by her mother to be a famous ‘pop star’, I can’t help it. Her narcissism developed because her true self was lost in the pressure of being an entitled golden child who was manipulated into becoming a pop star. Her instincts now tell her that what she’s doing is what success and survival look like. The image is her ‘facade’.
Very interesting article HG. To me, there’s a lot of food for thought. Like some other commenters have said, I’ve never been that impressed by Taylor Swift as a ‘musician’. I think the real skill lies behind the creation and marketing of her image, which is a lot more noticeable than her mostly forgettable pop songs.
Considering her ‘romantic relationships’, your descriptions made me feel that Taylor was triangulating the men with her young, largely female, fans. Generally, the men were all famous ‘heart-throb’ celebrities with large female followings, and Taylor’s fast changes from one to another, her public breakup comments, her gossipy song lyrics, all made me think that she had an underlying agenda. That agenda was to create publicity and to generate interest and envy among those watching her. It wasn’t so much about romance or her private life, or her personal inclination to have a male partner. The men were merely props on the stage of “Taylor Swift”.
Even in the song Blank Space, who is she talking to when she says, “I love the players, and you love the game”? She could be talking to the men partners, or she could be talking to the people watching the video, i.e. her fans and audience in general.
The first paragraph of this article says that Taylor Swift has sold more than 50 million albums and was ranked first in the Celebrity 100 list in Forbes in recent years. That’s not bad for a girl who learned to write formulaic songs by using a software program. I don’t think she gives a flying fig about her celebrity boyfriends or the lasting quality of her music, but I think she does care a lot about the effects of her image and popularity.
WiserNow: I thought the same as what you said here: “Considering her ‘romantic relationships’, your descriptions made me feel that Taylor was triangulating the men with her young, largely female, fans. Generally, the men were all famous ‘heart-throb’ celebrities with large female followings, and Taylor’s fast changes from one to another, her public breakup comments, her gossipy song lyrics, all made me think that she had an underlying agenda. That agenda was to create publicity and to generate interest and envy among those watching her. It wasn’t so much about romance or her private life, or her personal inclination to have a male partner. The men were merely props on the stage of “Taylor Swift”.“ WiserNow, now, I am thinking, after HG Tudor`s assessment, that she really did think the relationships would work. At least some of them. And she really was living through a few Golden Periods with some of them, before the devaluations occurred. And still, her machine may have come up with with the tactics to titillate her fan base, as we both thought, although that triangulation idea you touched upon is really good, and I did not think that clearly about it all, but I see that triangulation as possibly true as well. Perhaps it were a combination of activity: Media strategy heartthrob dating, plus real targets, plus Golden Periods plus fan triangulation, plus devaluations all ridden by an attractive, young, wealthy, female, Narcississt, pop/country star which now adds up and equals a financially successful and infamous star that has a catalog of a mess of male and female `discards:` However, till death do they part on her end, at least. She`ll be back and back and back, Hoovering, one way or one song or another. So the boys and girls need to Watch out or Get out and Stay out of the path of Ms Swift, as swiftly as they can exit. Also, I am not sure, but I think that all Greaters are malignant, HG? Just think of all the malign true memoirs she could write now, or when she is older.
She’s also #1 on Instagram .
Imagine that kind of omnipotence/omnipresence hit lol
PrincessSuperEmpath,
The way you have described the “combination of activity” that includes triangulation with a mix of other things, including real targets and media strategy made me think more deeply about my initial thoughts. Yes, it could be all of the things you mention that are, or become, part of Taylor Swift’s “romantic relationships”.
It makes me think that narcissists live their lives like anyone else and in the case of young narcs who are dating the opposite sex, or who have many social friendships, etc, I don’t think they are so single-minded that they think exclusively about manipulating and triangulating others for the sole benefit being to boost or support their ‘career’. Perhaps in Taylor’s case, the way her relationships played out made it convenient for her to add her break-ups into her songs and to create media interest and to smear the ex-boyfriends all at the same time. And being a narc, she probably didn’t feel any remorse or guilt in doing that and making her exes media fodder in that way.
HG
I only knew of random incidences in the news about T.S. and thought (mostly because of the industry and the fact that she wrote songs about her many lovers) she could well be a narc, but I really enjoyed reading your thorough analysis and confirmation.
Thank you
Just listened to Blank Space like five times
I’d heard it on the radio but didn’t catch the lyrics
Damn it triggers the Mixture for me
That she knows what she is and whats she’s saying
I love it
“Kicked our the party
Cuz we both hate everybody
We’re the ones they wanna be like”
(Animal)
Anyhow my twitter peeps are gonna have a bird. 😆
Brilliant article yet again , thank you
KICKED OUT THE PARTY ^^
Arggggpfft .
Oh shit that’s Goulding isn’t it
Is she one?
Love her music. Idgaf it’s my jam
And now I love her even more . She’s straight up telling us in Blank Space , I love it!
HG, let’s create a scenario where you are free of obligation, emotional entanglement and low on fuel.
HG is low on fuel and here is Taylor, flirting with HG. She wants to bed you.
Given she is a narc, would you notice this right away? And if so, would you decline her offer of passion between the sheets?
Have you ever bedded another narc? I have to believe yes. I can’t believe that each one has been an empath. Certainly you must have taken to bed some somatic female but then realized early on she was not the one. You can’t always know right away or can you?
Tell me more.
Me low on fuel? What is this nonsense?!
1. Would I notice straight away? Yes, I have already identified what she is through the article.
2. She wants to bed me. Well, she is flesh and blood after all. Would I decline? It depends if I deemed bedding her in my interests.
3. Yes, I have. I knew what they were prior to bedding them. Narcissists provide fuel also.
Is John Mayer a narcissist?
https://youtu.be/tCXGJQYZ9JA
A favorite taylor swift song 🤗
What a great read and the info mind boggling! Ty for this HG! I always thought taylor swift as a narcissist just from appearances alone. She comes off a snob and manipulative but here in this info laid out is the proof.
Id also read there were rumors she was trying to seduce tim mcgraw and that his wife faith hill was very leary and insecure of his performing with her.
Also theres been a feud between katy perry and taylor for years.
The dynamic with her mother ive seen so many times with “dance moms” and “athletic moms” living out their prior dreams thru their children. I would bet anything taylors mum was at one time an aspiring musician or aspiring something and taylor is her golden child bc she is her extension to those dreams. The overweight son id be interested to know how he is treated by his mother. My guess is he is the forgotten child invisible in the background. He is in his sisters shadow.
Her writing exes into songs is smearing and very public smearing at that! Im sure many broke up with her. She seems overbearing and would become impossible to be with longterm.
I do like her music but her as a person no. She does not seem likeable or genuine.
Ahhh I read this article. HG your writing is tightening up, nice to see. If it goes viral maybe edit one more time, enough spelling mistakes. Although I love to witness an imperfect god. This article reminds me a bit of ‘Drake’ whose story is all, ‘me and my mom, grew up poor, just me and my mom’ failing to let in the fact that Larry Graham is his uncle. I love to see autobiographical art. Subjective reality lain bare. Now if we could find it with more and more folks not riddled with hidden agendas duping facades of ingenuous art
I feel I should comment on this article 100 times to show my appreciation for its publication!
Thank you MB
Wow I just watched the video. She did however show lesser behaviours with damaging property. Do Greaters also act that when they get jealous? Loved it thanks for writing an amazing article as usual.
All narcissists can damage property, it’s more usual with Lessers.
Mildly disappointed but can’t deny shes’s a narcissist. I remember when it was just her and a guitar on stage. A well planned facade of innocence and sweet. This picture of her is priceless. Thank you for the laugh! I shared this.
Thank you for doing so
Antonio Brown is a narc , too
As I mentioned, I had an oh shit moment when it came to the parts about her using ex flames for song motivations. One can’t be an artist without some narcissism. It just won’t happen. And I say this as one myself.
As example, the act of creating is an inward process that focuses on the self, (even if the topic is not you directly, you as the creator are still involved) and regardless of what you create, you have to have enough self love to believe that your work is worthy of someone’s time and attention.
If all one is is ‘other focused’, there will be no opportunity to create anything.
I have used my past experiences with the Mid Ranger and others in my own work. An artist can’t constantly be worrying if their work is going to hurt or offend so and so because unless you write mawkish greeting cards, if you have any bite or edge to your work, someone will be upset or offended.
I used to worry about how I might appear–will they think this or that about me? Will they think I am this way or that way, will I hurt someone’s feelings? I just can’t worry about that stuff.
Artists are generally very self-centered and have a high level of selfishness. They’re very competitive and resentful if they think you have more talent than they or more acclaim, etc. (Salieri in the film Amadeus is a good example.) I am sure there are some who don’t, but maybe they’re not showing it. It’s an ugly thing to admit. Artists can be self absorbed but also they can be empaths as well. It takes both narcissism and empathy in order to create, esp. anything of exceptional quality.
As example, one must have the narcissism to think writing a novel would be worth anyone’s time (clearly the writer believes (s)he has something to offer, lest there would be no creation) but also enough empathy to where one can construct the povs of multiple characters and see different perspectives.
There is a lot I could say on this topic. I have used the Mid Ranger’s examples of passive aggression in my work plenty of times. It did help me build character. But I never use things that are too personal or what someone tells me in confidence. Not just out of respect, but also I never find those matters interesting, but more so the nuances about that person. I have also written about my Lesser dad, and there are moments of sympathy I offer him, despite his crap. It’s still just artifice and not the truth.
It’s a complex issue that I could delve into more, but I’ll just end here.
But there is an Alanis Morrisette cover of ‘My Humps’ that I enjoy, as her voice evokes a pathos as she sings about this materialistic, vapid speaker. I find it a very sad song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJg4rwDkkBA
The Mid Ranger was obsessed with her and it took me a while to be able to listen to this again, but check this vid out after watching the Swift vid. Very different feeling I get from it.
Excellent on every aspect HG and a pleasure to read. I’ve been reading your writings for nearly 2.5 years now, I figured her out about 2 years ago. Even before I came across you, as a musician myself, I knew her music was bullshit. Every song is a formula. The same formula actually. Any 11 year old can follow this computer generated formula, insert the words, and wa laa. A hit pop tune. That’s why all her songs sound the same. No doubt Mom’s $ afforded the best marketing agent to get her out there. It’s obviously not talent.
Now.. what school and cadre? I’m guessing MMR.
Thanks for another great read! That was so much fun.
-Peaceful
You’re welcome
Peaceful, agree with regards to her music, a very formulaic approach to songwriting and repackaging the same 5 tracks for years now. I suppose such is the nature of pop music, but there used to be rumours that her father bought countless CDs of her first album to get things started and has them stored in a warehouse somewhere.
With regards to her school and cadre, she is a Middle Greater Elite.
She’s ok but John Mayer is such a player who cares if he was miffed..
Kind of missing the point
I didn’t miss the point. I just think they both can enjoy their wounds.
I watched some John M YT videos. Interviews. If he isn’t a narc, he missed a damn good opportunity! Plus, I feel drawn to him, so…red flag
I wouldn’t kick him out of bed MB.
He would kick you out! He’s a Narc*
*this has not been verified under Tudorscope. It is the opinion of MB.
As long as he doesn’t stop mid-way. I’ve had that happen. It was awful.
Although he’s not muscular enough but he would work in a pinch.
I don’t find him attractive. I don’t like his music or his voice. There was a running joke about how this average looking guy could land Jessica Simpson, Swift, Jennifer Anniston, and those are just a few I know about. Shit, I fucking hate celeb gossip and yet I know the names of 3 chicks he’s humped.
He is not attractive at all. I don’t think I could kiss him. Maybe with a lot of alcohol but for a guy that looks like him to get all those pretty girls you must tip a hat.
I didn’t mind her earlier songs but when she turned pop she was just too annoying. I find her to be a very talented boring/mediocre pop star like so many others. I don’t usually read anything about her especially not as long as this one was. However, I found it informative and educational. I reluctantly watched the video “Blank Space” and I remember that song being played on the radio and not until now I can say I realized she is definitely the frontman/woman for every narcissist out there. The line “and you like the game” she is wrong, we don’t like the game, she does and every narcissist like her.
Thank you H.G. another lesson learned.
You like the game: I think that she is blame shifting? I noticed that line in the song as well. Some call it trauma bonding, but until HG ever discusses trauma bonding, I am not making a decision about what that term really means, or if I am in agreement with it, but I know for a fact that many do not enjoy what she calls: the game.
‘Cause you know I love the players/ And you love the game
She is hinting that the men caught in her “Swift Entanglement” are volunteers since they enjoy all the benefits gained by being with her.
While this would also imply that they are implicit in their own demise, Taylors focus is on how bewitched they are by her and that they couldn’t possibly want anything else.
This is alluded to in the other lines such as
Love’s a game, / want to play?
There’s no blame shifting in this particular song. The blame shifting took place when she explained that the woman she writes about is a “character” purely based on the medias false portrayal of her.
I am reminded by HG Tudor`s article titled: Parasite. Here, HG is discussing blame shifting. What an article. Stunning. Here is an excerpt from HG Tudor`s article titled, Parasite: [ ` You fed off me and I am sick of it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my magnetism, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am magnanimous I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to annoy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my charm, my attractiveness, my easy manner with people and how they are drawn to me and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted some of that. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my impeccable reputation, my scintillating presence and my esteemed connections. I do not blame you for wanting to be associated with me, who would not? Who would not want such a slice of the action as me?`] I hope the link to Parasite posts:https://narcsite.com/2016/10/17/the-parasite/
Funny, narc 2 hated that song and always commented on it and how women loved to play “pussy games” with men.
These analysis of the most famous people are great and a little bit funny! May I suggest you to write the analysis of a politician very talked about in italy in this period, namely Matteo Salvini. I wonder if he is a narcissist, just like my italian bethrens who follow you
Excellent article, HG. I never really cared for Taylor, or her music, and now I know the reason.
Just watched her video, Blank Space, it seems she knows what she is.
Why do so many men succumb to her? It seems the writing is on the wall even before the relationship starts. Do they think they will fare better?
Thank you for presenting it in such a thorough manner.
You’re welcome. Why do they succumb to her? She’s a narcissist- we seduce. Again and again and again.
Dearest HG: I just looked at the Blank Space Video. It is startling! Thank you. Wow! I have recently wondered about why men are so enamoured by the Narcissist female. Great Lyrics. I think the video shows some of the inside story, especially with the females that have somatic traits: https://youtu.be/e-ORhEE9VVg
Princess—thanks for posting the video. It’s irrefutable that she is very talented. She is not in my iTunes library but she is quite excellent. She is really not beautiful per se but “works” what she has to provide a nice visual component to associate with her music.
HG I hope this is the start of a series of analyses of pop culture icons! Beyoncé?
We shall see
R Kelly!
Ooh, Cyn, I think that is a great idea…
HG – Amanda Palmer, please?
Pretty sure the Illuminati that Beyoncé belongs to could be classified as a N cult of sorts, so it would be interesting to have that included in the analysis.
FYC,
I was reading up on the Illuminati thing and somewhere it was mentioned that Justin Bieber was considered a member – and that’s when I lost all interest.
Hi WhoCares, I hope you and your son are doing great.
RE: Illuminati, many celebrities claim membership and likely have it. A deeper look into the Illuminati is far more sinister and intriguing. The Illuminati was created in 1776 by Adam Weishaupt, a German philosopher. Weishaupt adopted the name of “Brother Spartacus” within the order. The true purpose of the Illuminati is debated, but their motto is the latin version of “The end justifies the means.” The character of the society is described as “an elaborate network of spies and counter-spies.” Due to the broad and deep influence of the Masonic Order, Weishaupt infiltrated the Masons and brought other Illuminati into the order to act as spies. Members report to a superior, whom they do not know on up the food chain, so that any link in the chain, if uncovered, would not expose further secret members of the Illuminati. The symbol of the Illuminati is the all seeing eye. Some believe this is a Godly symbol, but there are others that note Weishaupt referenced the devil as a symbol of enlightenment. Some at the time viewed Weishaupt the Man-Devil. Others, such as Thomas Jefferson, a Mason, believed Weishaupt only desired enlightenment and empowerment of people. Given the expressed desires of Weishaupt, he more likely meant to seize power and influence through control. Dissent was not tolerated. Sound familiar? The Illuminati has been reorganized several times over the past 243 years. I have not read anything on their current objectives or how they operate, but what little is publicized seems similar to their founder’s designs and their motto and secrecy remains intact. It would be awesome to hear HG’s take on this secret order. I never googled it before today.
FYC,
RE: Illuminati – the whole thing is rather intriguing, and there does seem to be a sinister undercurrent. Thanks for all the information. It is just hard to take seriously in light of other organizations/cults that celebs have embraced in the past (Scientology, etc.). It seems like an attention grab for some celebrities. And, perhaps, historically, they attracted some interesting members but, as I joked earlier, re: Bieber – (if it’s even true) they must be lowering their standards!
WC, I understand your comment on permanency and disbelief. I would think only time will give you a believable sense of security in the knowledge that you can be fearlessly rooted as much as you choose, since you are in control at last. I wish you this free and safe mindset as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing about your new sense of joy and freedom form fear in the near future. Were you able to get the zero impact package from HG?
RE: Illuminati, I doubt Bieber is a working member since secrecy is mandated to be one (with dire consequences if breached). I agree with attention grab (and self-agrandizing behavior). The more I think about it, celebs are not likely true candidates for such secretive membership unless they are perceived to have influence within a group the Illuminati care to influence. But why would they want Bieber? Unless they think 13yr old girls rule the world? (And even those girls likely matured and moved on!)
FYC,
“But why would they want Bieber? Unless they think 13yr old girls rule the world?”
Haha!
“I look forward to hearing about your new sense of joy and freedom form fear in the near future. Were you able to get the zero impact package from HG?”
Thank-you: I do have the Zero Impact package – but I haven’t listened to it yet! Lately, I have found myself talking about my narc to a fellow empath (in RL) who’s situation is very similar to mine except I’m several steps ahead her along the path to freedom and healing. I can do so much more objectively now, and comparing narcs – plus making use of HG’s work – has been very helpful for her. For me, it’s still engagement though – plus, I’ve run into my narcissist twice since settling into my new place. Once, intentionally (on his part) and the second time was random – but both have made me wary and caused some adjustments on my part. So, some of these things I need to put behind me and, finally I need to finish my Narc Detector and then I will focus on Zero Impact. ☺️
WC it sounds like you have yourself on the right track. I’ll bet it has been very therapeutic to help your empath friend for both of you. I think healing is not always a direct path. There is the pre-processing and coming to terms with the necessity of the decision; there is the active GOSO and NC and all the real world changes that go with it (logistical and emotional); there is the post departure process of fortifying yourself and your life (hoovers and accidental crossed paths with N leutienents are challenging and frustrating during that time); and then there is the emotional processing that unfolds over time as you gain momentum and integrate all you have learned into your new and improved self. Come to think of it, it’s not far different from a grieving process, but more of a celebration as you become more and more free and F.R.E.E. I am very happy for you WC. Your future, and your son’s, is bright due to your brave choices and strength. Well done. You are a beautiful soul and deserve all good things.
FYC,
“I’ll bet it has been very therapeutic to help your empath friend for both of you.”
Yes. In addition, for me, she has been an unexpected source of support and friendship in a city where I don’t really have anyone and I tend to be very private and keep to myself. Also, I know that it’s been beneficial for her to be able to reach out to someone who grasps the dynamic and antics of the narc almost instantly. (As we all have experienced here on the blog.)
“I think healing is not always a direct path.”
Agreed. That reality has become so clear for me: that the healing process is not linear. It’s completely cyclical and you will revisit those emotions again and again…each time, especially with the application of HG’s work, it will be less overwhelming. (Just as in his Crossing the Emotional Sea articles.) And set backs happen in direct relation to having engagement with the narc – so I grasp how important and effective “no contact” is.
“Your future, and your son’s, is bright due to your brave choices and strength. Well done. You are a beautiful soul and deserve all good things.”
Thank-you for your kind words FYC – I do find that I have to, sometimes, remind myself that I am allowed to be happy. There are definitely moments of joy. And I am quietly, but happily, anticipating the months of October and November since, historically, Autumn (not Spring so much), has often been a time of renewal and new beginnings for me. It is also my favourite time of the year.
Thank-you for your continued support and well wishes, FYC💜.
WhoCares
Here’s to a joy filled Fall, future, and permanent bookcases. Thinking of you.
Thank-you NA 😃!
I hope to have a more complete report late autumn 😉.
Happy Fall to you!
“I do find that I have to, sometimes, remind myself that I am allowed to be happy. There are definitely moments of joy.”
WC, you are more than “allowed” to be happy, you are built for health and happiness. It is only when a pathogen invades that illness results, or dysfunction and abuse enters in and happiness is destroyed or denied. You are free of both right now! So freely embrace those moments of joy and find more daily, if possible. Also, your son will see you embracing joy and do the same.
I am so happy for you, WC. I love Autumn too, and I hope you make many special memories this season. Wishing you and your son every good experience in life <3
Thank-you FYC, reading your words made me have “happy tears” – as my son calls them.
All the best!
FYC,
Also, thank-you for your well wishes to me and my son…we’re still in the ‘consolidating our lives stage’ and “stability” comes with a sense of the surreal for me…having been in a state of insecurity and instability for so long, even the thought of intentionally obtaining bookcases and placing them in a designated location gives me a bit of anxiety because they are “solid”and “real” and represent a commitment to the here and now – how do you up and run with bookcases actually full of books? I know this sounds weird, to some, but it feels foreign to be putting down roots in this manner when I’ve uprooted my life more than once to free myself from entanglement and to improve my situation. I hope to soon feel like I’ve ‘arrived’ in my stability.
FYC – I hope you’re doing well and enjoying the almost-autumn where you are!
Your remark that many famous people are narcissists has got me thinking. Is Oprah a narcissist? Have you ever analysed her? I hope you say no, she’s not.
Wait and see.
The suspense is killing me!!!
I just saw a poll from December 2018 and Oprah was first on the list to go under the Tudorscope. I can’t seem to find it. Have you posted it yet?
Not yet
BLT—Oprah is not a narcissist. HG has said she is an empath as I read this maybe last month.
Loralei, thank you. I must have missed that article. I’m so glad to hear she’s an empath.
Hi BLT—someone asked in comments and he answered on that day!
Oprah is a pedophile demon……very satanic!!!
Uh no. She is not. Whatever
I’m interested to read “A Very” article where the Tudorscope has identified an Empath or a Normal.
MB
I agree, it would be really interesting to have a Tudorscope considering Empaths. They might be fewer in between and harder to identify when it comes to celebrities. And politics! Can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a narc.
Good idea!
Every magazine cover she is on it. All about fame and materialism. Not to mention her horrid Beavis and Butthead level bullshit Bookclub. Oprah’s favorite things! LOLZ!!!
You are dying of cancer but he is a new scarf!!!!
I hope he says yes, she is. Because she is. I just vomited.
I truly hope not. Although, that would be an impressive facade.
Dearest HG: I always had the feeling that her parents pimped her. The same way I have the feeling that the Kardashian mother pimps her children. And the Hilton parents. I never considered Taylor Swift as a loving person or a charitable person, if we were to believe the image that her machine sets up for her through various media, but I always saw her as a precocious brat, now adult, that society nourishes in its constant push for sexual fluidity, and young girls admired her tremendously for having all that sex with so many different men and yet was crowned with a halo by society while strumming her little guitar with that overly knowing little smile, with her parents` backing and support: Something that rarely would happen to young females in a small town, and most young women live in small towns, and not large cities. They would be called the tramp of the town and would be ostracized or forced to move away with that sexual reputation. So through living their lives through Taylor Swift, many young girls that are Swift fans, in their minds, were and are being promiscuous by proxy. Also, many famous men said they would not date Swift when they would hear she had a crush on them, because they did not want to end up being taken to task by her in one of her songs, or have their privacy exploited by her as is her wont, some of these men have said. Now, I do feel a little bad for her. The Narcissism would cause her to break her relationships and blameshift and facade manage and boundary break, etc. like there is no tomorrow. Narcissism is something that I knew nothing about until of late. So, I now see her more as a monetarily successful and infamous train wreck. I have a tad bit of empathy for her now. But, Narcissist, yes. And this is her time, where she still will be lifted up as a standard and promoted and generally applauded. The clincher for me is that she always has too thin eyebrows. Not good. HG, do you spoil me with all of these superb assessments.
I knew it! It always annoyed me that people loved her and thought she was a saint. I knew there was something off just from listening to her and watching her videos. Now I know why.
And now you’re enlightened spread the word.
I love this series HG. I’m always excited to see who you pick next. I think it would also be interesting to see analyses of public figures who are empaths, though there probably aren’t as many of those.
Extremely detailed analysis, HG, and very illuminating, especially since I knew little of her beyond her pop songs. What do you make of TS entering the political fray?
Unsurprising
Haha, indeed. But do you think she has designs on a future political career or just wants to extend her omnipotence?
Are they not the same thing?
“Are they not the same thing?”
HG, Good point!
Never liked her and now I know why (same for MM). Sometimes i think I have a narc radar except it gets blocked by emotional thinking when it comes to personal relationships.
Wait maybe she followed Ed. Hard to remember because I was also dealing with my narc’s irritation at the lack of attention to him, the inferiority of everyone’s musicianship to his, his annoyance with my dress being low cut and younger men noticing…. you name it.
Just watched the video. Holy Moly! Lovebombing and devaluation in under 4 mins.
Indeed
Funny, I was just wondering about her! Thank you HG for such a thorough work up of Ms. Swift. I saw her live a few years ago as a headliner of Rock In Rio in Las Vegas. She was followed by Ed Sheeran, whom I was there to see. Taylor was unimpressive to say the least, the costumes and production were well put together to hide the vocals; and I was annoyed that during a wardrobe change there was a 10-12 minute black and white video testimonial from members of her squad about how wonderful she was lol! The set by Ed of course was nothing but skill, talent, music. What a relief.
The Ginger One is one of yours.
Whew!
Supermarket flowers makes me lose it! Love Ed.
Is that because you can buy them?
Omg Ed is the best. I do buy myself flowers. As you shall see!
Ed used to bed the VS Models when he was opening Taylors Shows, then never called them back. They then went mad over being ghosted by “The Ginger One”. I’m glad hes an Empath, but I can smell the resentment.
Lorelei, you are so random!
It’s just me MB.
I am a music obsessor and his music really is phenomenal. There are so many songs that blow me away that didn’t become big hits but the lyrics and composition just hit me. Unfortunately they are also triggers. He’s amazing live too. I sing, lyrics hugely important, and I prefer acoustic. So a writer who sings and plays impeccably without a bunch of fluff is heaven. He also laughs at himself and I love that. Shirtsleeves makes me cry. It’s pretty simple.
I agree. Ed is #teamempath Ellie Goulding ate him for lunch according to the song lyrics the two of them traded back and forth. Ed is very talented. He opened for Taylor Swift on the ‘Red’ tour.
HG I think you just put her through the Narc Detector Consulation. Question is ? Is she s Narcissit? Yes from HG the expert himself.
I would rather snort a line of ants than listen to one note of Ed Sheeran’s music. He is the epitome of vanilla white boy blandness. I would rather gargle bleach and swallow than endure a single moment of that. He is horrid beyond belief. My cat needs me. I am going to end it here.
“Snort a line of ants!”
Lol! I love his music. Maybe I just need simple and bland to soothe my overwrought nervous system due to the nerve drama of my life the last 13 years.
Bibi, you’re hilarious! I admit, Ed isn’t easy on the eyes, but he is very talented. “Vanilla white boy blandness” isn’t an apt description. Maybe give the kid a chance. Come on, one video? The ants will thank me. Save the ants!
I enjoyed this analysis, HG. I will comment more later when I have more time to think it over, esp. b/c it is about an artist–a topic that interests me. I had a couple of ‘oh shit’ moments when I thought of my own actions.
I do admit to enjoying ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ and as a video I think it is hilarious.
I have to admit that it saddens me when someone with a rich childhood plays the victim.
Thank you Bibi.
Just had a thought. Her parents should have named her Croce after Jim Croce. Yuk Yuk. (The Jim Croce channel on Spotify is fucking awesome, BTW.)
You didn’t touch on this in the article, but what sealed the “diagnosis” to me was the flat effect in her live feeds.(There was sooo much to cover!) You could right a book on this chick.
Even as a Greater, she must not be aware of this or able to control it. Can you speak to this observation?
I have not listened to her live feeds, therefore I cannot make any comment upon them MB.
I know all narcissists struggle with showing the appropriate emotions, but as a Greater, it seems T.S. would be able to fake it more believably than she does. Or…maybe it’s just that my HGTU education that has made me take notice!
I’d like to know your thoughts regarding The Greater and the flat effect in general.
It is unusual to find a Greater with flat effect. It is difficult for me to comment further with regard to TS, MB, since, as stated, I have not listened to the material you have referred to.
Thank you HG. That’s what I wanted to know.
MB, I have seen some of her live feeds but I am uncertain as to what you are referring to. Can you elaborate on what you mean by “flat effect”?
Desireé, it is a somewhat monotone voice and her face not matching her words. Not the flat effect, but I also noticed that when she does try to show emotion, facial expressions are exaggerated, don’t seem genuine, and again, don’t match her words. I absolutely believe she is a Greater, so I’m surprised she isn’t better at it. This is on the live feed where she isn’t looking at a person. (Only the camera.) Maybe because there is nobody to mirror?
I just rewatched one of the live feeds and think that the “flat effect” is intentional and mostly comes from her trying to project a more intimate and vulnerable side of herself by lowering her voice and putting on a calmer attitude. It seems off because she has exceptionally dead eyes and it really comes out in streams where she is directly talking to “you” while not being able to mirror off of you so you’re not so easily fooled.
Whatever it is, it’s weird. Seeing this sealed the deal for me even before HGs article.
She’s also very young. Still honing her craft I’d imagine
That’s true WAFT. I didn’t consider that.
LOL!!! Its funny you are calling her a narc. This is something that alot of people have been calling her. You just dont know how long Ive been waiting for you to call her out.
Oh go on, tell me how long!?
😂😂😂
*jibe
HG,
A very thorough and insightful analysis! I actually did not know that much about Taylor Swift – so this was an interesting read.
About her use of victimhood – I believe you have indicated somewhere that TS is a greater.
And you have repeatedly told us that it is beneath Greaters to use victimhood in their manipulations. And when I pointed this out with regard to Michael Jackson, you said that it was his fans that used this claim of victim status on his behalf – and not a personal claim.
Taylor Swift seems to use the claim of victimhood a substantial amount – how does this jive with your assertion that she is a Greater narcissist?
Thank you and you make a valid point which I was anticipating.
The Greater will not use Pity Plays etc in a proximate setting, but may cultivate a persona for use on the grand scale (in keeping with the significant grandiosity of the Greater) which is based on victimhood. As I have explained before, WC, all narcissists have a victim mentality, it is how the victimhood is used that is different between schools. So, you would not see a Greater using a Pity Play in a one on one with say an intimate partner primary source, but it could (and again not by all Greaters) be used in a much wider sense on a grander stage as part of the “scene setting” as is the case in this article with the “My struggle to become a musician story” or “my record company fucked me over” to the world (and fans) at large.
Okay – so, overcoming difficult odds thing – I get that, it makes sense. Thank-you so much for explaining it.
This has been a running theme for me – victimhood and Greaters – ever since I first thought that my own narcissist was a greater (haha!) and you have deepened my understanding.
Dearest HG: Regarding Greaters and setting the stage for their public persona: I am reminded about how so many politicians, when running for office look, around their family tree to drag up a parent or grandparent or some other relative that had economic struggles in their lives to show that they can relate to the common person, when otherwise these same politicians are only concerned with and in contact with and enmeshed with those of the same social/economic status or higher, before they ran for office. On another note, HG, will you explain more in the fullness of time about Privilege and also controlled environment? I see some of the readers on here discussing controlled environment many times on this site, and I am not sure what the message is. The Canadian leader Trudeau is in the news right now because of photos showing that he wore blackface about three times when he was younger. First he said he could not remember one photo, and then another photo was presented as well. He said his privilege prevented him from understanding that his actions may be hurtful to some. The explanation he gave sort of worked for me, but I am not sure of the premise of the privilege argument that he is making. I never heard the privilege argument before today, and you mention it as well. I am not sure if I should be persuaded or not about a privilege argument. It is new to me. Thank you.
PSE, check out the article “To Control is to Cope”, it illustrates how this can constitute a lack of control environment.
HG—are you saying Taylor is self aware?
I am.
Wow—I wouldn’t peg a Taylor Swift in this way. Enlightenment always with you.
Can you say what the clues are that Taylor Swift has self awareness of her narcissism so we can see it too? Secondly, are all greaters self aware?
All Greaters are self aware. That is why they are Greaters.
Lorelei,
Isn’t it mindblowing? I think the Blank Space video says it all. She is throwing it out there for all to see: her victims and her adoring fans.
HG, you have spoken of when you became aware of what you are…when you were in university, I believe? And then you came to understand others of your kind. Did you instantly realize that not all of your kind have this self-insight or was it gradual?
Gradual.
Thank-you.
I watched the video—she’s working it. I don’t prefer my girls watch the overly sexual behavior to be honest and she appeals to the young ones.
No doubt. Not a good role model in more ways than one.
I read another article saying Blank Space is her coming out as a psychopath video .
😯
And now I’m wondering about some fictional characters. Lovelace in Clarissa (memorably played by Sean Bean)? Seems more interested in creating Clarissa’s emotional scenes than actually banging her. Valmont and Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons? Competing narcissists. You have to wonder how they ever hooked up in the first place, since neither will willingly spare any fuel for the other and they sneer at each other’s fuel-gathering exploits. What about dreary little clerk/kidnapper Fred Clegg in The Collector? Is he an extremely LLN who can’t understand why keeping Miranda in the basement won’t make her love him? Or is his initial romantic idealization of her something a real narcissist could never produce (though one might fake it)?
She’s a middle greater, HG?
Hg Michael Jackson’s “little boy lost “ facade was then completely calculated – and Neverland was intentionally designed to lull the parents to sleep and keep the kids in a dazed state? He knew precisely what he was doing- as does Ts?
Excellent and enjoyable article, HG. The craziest thing about the Blank Space video is it has 2.4 billion views yet I’m sure 99.9% were clueless about the narcissistic dynamic they were watching. Thank you for your analysis, HG. I even got some bonus “thought fuel” trying to imagine what would happen if Ms. Swift tried to write HG in her blank space.
Ha ha very good and you make a valid point.
SO GOOD! Wow, I never knew any of this background nor would I have considered her to be a narc because, quite frankly, I don’t think about Taylor Swift at all. I find her to be boring, annoying and her music to be pedestrian at best.
This really proves that taking people at face value can be quite dangerous. For all I ever knew about this girl, I’d just have assumed she was unlucky in love and an easy target for playboy type guys. Damn – eyes opened!
This needs to go viral!
Indeed it does, it is in your hands.
It’s funny that you say no judgment of narcissist being good or bad people because I don’t see them as either anymore now that I understand it a bit better
I have often questioned if my partner is a narcissist we have had a very unique relationship we met when I was 17 at 20 I fell pregnant and he left me had a relationship with another girl and had two kids to her we are always connected though friends and our daughter not that he was ever reliable he took no responsibility physical emotional or financial he would randomly come back to see her but I think it was mostly for sex with me and he would be gone again he had a huge drinking problem and would become very jealous and even violent he never hit me but was very aggressive I do know that he had previously hit one of his ex girlfriends but he was young.
12 years after we broke up I fell pregnant again to him this time a boy but it was different I was different I was so used to being on my own and the last thing I was expecting was that he would want to get married we have been together ever since it has been very trying at times because he is so self involved even the way he asked me to marry him was almost insulting he said he never wanted to do it because it means that he had to be faithful I even left him once it was after my transplant because I was not dependent anymore not on him my daughter looked after me but after my surgery I was able to live a normal life and he tried to make me feel insecure about being outside on my own got jealous of everyone and basically ignored me until I could not handle it anymore nearly 12 months so I left him I didn’t date anyone else I just needed space I couldn’t understand why he wanted me back After pushing me away for so long I told him I thought he is a narcissist and about you he recently got tested for narcissistic personality and scored very high I think he loves me in the only way he knows and he does try sometimes I question whether or not he just has more control than he used to or if he has changed and I am constantly looking for signs of lies
I don’t know if we will last but I definitely experienced worse than him
I attract narcissist like moths to a flame and sometimes it better the devil you know
Wow Mr Tudor , quite the detailed biography! She’s a monster to anyone who’s interacted with her. I wonder how much of it she learned from her mother though and how much was instinctual. Her mother sort of created her image , facade and behavior. Would be interesting to see how her chubby brother turned out. I remember her before she was really famous as performing at high school proms a lot and heavily advertising to do it , it just seemed odd. I never got into her bubblegum songs , but I do believe that Miley Cyrus is a narcissist but someone who is actually artistic and her music is much deeper.
Kel, Her brother has an IG account. austinkingsleyswift if you want to look him up
Stalker MB!!
Guilty as charged!
The Honesty of the Empath also MB.
“Stalker MB!!”
Hahahaha!
Omg MB, Austin is no chubby kid with any issues! He went to Ivey League colleges, he’s an actor and in a movie with Pierce Brosnan, and he’s close to T.S. and paid a beautiful tribute to her on her bday about how she always looked out for him. I’m confused, after I watched T.S. on CBS Morning show, I thought she was a good person even if she was a narcissist. Narcissists are so contradictory. I can’t figure out how they are both good and bad.
Kel—it’s a good observation because in our lives we experience at times only snippets of each person. Only certain people get the brunt of the abusive kick.
“she might be the victim herself of a music mogul narcissist”
this – with regards to TS as well as other celebrities – bears repeating indefinitely.
Upper Greaters. Shadowy creatures hold the reins and crack the whips and never make a sound.
I actually thought about this today since The Rolling Stone has published an interview with TS two days ago, the first one in seven years. It is pandering to her and somewhat lacking, but her answers and reactions still perfectly showcase her narcissism. She hasn’t changed one bit, how could she. An excellent article as always, HG.
Thank you Desiree.
I thoroughly enjoyed the article, HG. It was worth the wait! Can you explain a bit how a gilded lifestyle equates to a lack of control environment?
Glad you enjoyed it.
A gilded lifestyle means the child is given most things, if not everything on a plate, is told they are brilliant when they are not or they are excessively praised and can do no wrong. The child therefore has no control over their life because everything is done for him or her (even though it is “good”).
Thank you for expanding, HG. I need to do a remedial read of https://narcsite.com/?s=To+control
Golden Child
HG
In conversation this week, I heard myself say the words “…pull at your heart strings…”
I was immediately reminded of the process of being ensnared and hoovered by Ns, and what an old but apt saying that is in the English language.
This is how society described Narcissism before we had NPD as a term, and narcsite.
The hooks and strings are initially attached to the Empath’s heart by the “my terrible childhood” story told by the N at the first meeting or on the first date.
Then those strings are pulled at subsequent intervals for a big emotional response.
The phrase is an idiom in use from at least the late 15th century, that a person is being manipulated for a specific and heightened emotional response.
The N instinctively looks for the victim who is “a soft touch”, who “wears their heart on their sleeve”.
The N-magnet of previous generations.
Normal individuals will soon pick out the Ns in any given group of people, and warn others:
“stay out of it… he’s only saying it to get a rise out of you…”
Or “he’s baiting you. Don’t respond”
Or “ignore him. He’ll soon get bored, and go and find someone else to annoy”
This article has reminded me of it.
The hard of understanding… 😂😆🤣
HG
Thank you for this thorough presentation on Taylor Swift, about whom I really knew not much at all. I only knew and liked her ‘Shake It Off’ song.
I didn’t know what to believe about the situation with her master recordings, Justin Bieber, and her statement of events.
You’ve spent a lot of time putting it together for us.
I just watched the video ‘Blank Space’ at your direction, and….
I’m astonished!
“Hiding in plain sight”
Exactly so!
There’s the whole familiar N-abuse cycle before our eyes!
“Laughing at all her victims”…. that’s clear too.
All of her ex-IPPS must surely cringe when they see it.
Why is this not more widely discussed?
I really am astonished.
It’s domestic violence, even if it has a glamorous veneer because it involves money and lots of nice residual benefits.
How nice of her to do a video of your article, to give us another piece of ‘show and tell’ to introduce others to your work.
Most considerate of her.
Thank you again.
You’re welcome Caroline
I think Taylor Swift is a good example of how a Narcissist could be successful with their careers, and social status, but be stunted emotionally and mentally.
It is a good video and quite entertaining, but THE best thing about that video was Sean O’Pry. Yum!
Can you imagine a male artist doing the same ?
I’ll be looking out for it now .
Michael Jackson meant the “Bad” lyrics in a totally different way than “cool” lol
I’d like to see a write up on MJ primarily due the contrast of never really having a primary source in the more traditional sense. It seems he chose (his?) children and bizarre entanglements here and there. I’m lost on his level of unusual.
😘