Dr O Versus The Shieldmaiden


One advocated the concept of Being ProSocial for an ulterior motive.

One benefits from the adoption of Being ProSocial.

But what happens when both want the same thing?

Learn more


228 thoughts on “Dr O Versus The Shieldmaiden

  1. Kate says:

    Who does your mother think she is – the Queen of England??

    1. HG Tudor says:


      Every other country too, even where there’s no monarchy.

  2. njfilly says:

    I have another perspective to add to this.

    Perhaps this entire HG Tudor franchise is a continuation of the MK Ultra mind control experiments as the CIA, governments and the medical establishment continue to study mind control, as well as trauma bonding, psychic ability, how cults are formed, voyeurism; and things of that nature.

    There really is no man behind the pseudonym of HG Tudor. It is a cooperative effort between those institutions. They make money off the books and their information will infiltrate and eventually dominate in all areas related to narcissists and narcissistic abuse. The voice of HG Tudor is actually that of Dr. E, and the instagram photos of Shield Maiden are actually Dr. O.

    The subjects of the experiment are the blog readers as they analyze our comments and interactions with Mr. HG Tudor as well as how we will handle the devaluation and possible abuse of one or both of these women; how we will react and what, if anything, we will do or say about it.

    The Empath Detectors and Narc Detectors, as well as the other consultations are actually information gathering techniques. Of course we don’t know what information they are gathering, and why, and what the ultimate purpose will be. It is their agenda.

    1. Kim e says:

      If you truly believe that, you need to pass the joint so we can all be on the same level.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Kim e, hahaha! Well, with regards to HG and Narc Land, nothing’s impossible! I’m not surprised at anything anymore.

      2. njfilly says:

        You’re probably right. Governments don’t conduct experiments on people. That’s crazy talk. Get your own joint, I have mine.

      3. njfilly says:

        Actually, I don’t really believe what I wrote. I was being sarcastic. But I also don’t believe everything I read on this site is real. I don’t know what to believe. I do believe we are being lied to, manipulated, and fooled in life in many areas that we are unaware of. I still will not share my joint with you.

  3. santaann1964 says:

    Truth is no one knows who Mr.H is. This could be a real awakening truth about who we really are! Like the twilight zone. Whom ever he is could be an illusion of what we are seeking, just like a novel. Like a catfish story on tv. Interesting, don’t you think?

    1. lisk says:

      It has bee a real awakening truth about myself from the start!

  4. Anm says:

    It is getting so hard to stay caught up on comments. So many followers here now. I cant keep up. Kind of bittersweet I guess.

  5. Kate says:


    What is ProSocial?

    And what happens on the 4th? Are you going to jump out of my screen??!

    The models’ outfits – very interesting… The doctor looks like she may be about to film a porno..

    I want the Shield Maiden outfit. I’m gonna need it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Wait and see.

      1. Twisted Heart says:

        Eeeeeekkkkk!!! So much to catch up on but I have to study.
        On a side note, how do we access the search menu on our mobiles? I can’t see it anymore. I want to send a friend the link to Coparenting with a Narcissist. She really needs your help!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Here it is


          The search menu can be found by scrolling down after the articles, after blog stats and there it is.

          1. Twisted Heart says:

            Awesome! Thanks!

        2. FoolMe1Time says:

          Twisted where have you been Sweetie? I’m happy you decided to drop him in for a quick visit! 😘💞

          1. Twisted Heart says:

            Hi FM1T💕💕💕
            I’m in school so I’m trying to be more disciplined and focus on my studies. I hope you are well sweet friend. You are all in my thoughts daily😘

          2. FoolMe1Time says:

            I am well sweetie. I’m happy to hear about you and school. Take care of yourself, and stop in more often. 😘😘💞

          3. Twisted Heart says:

            And I should visit more often, my narc ex is on my mind A LOT lately!!! 😬 I got to keep that ET in check!

          4. FoolMe1Time says:

            Better check in then!!

    2. lisk says:

      “ProSocial” is what any narc is when they are seeking/getting positive fuel.

      My guess is HG’s doctor(s) is/are attempting to help him sustain positive fuel retrieval in order to minimize the instinctive/deliberate/antisocial manipulations he implements to obtain negative fuel.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Not quite, Lisk.

        Obtaining positive fuel uses benign methods. Obtaining negative uses malign. The concept of prosocial is seeking to slow the desire to respond with malice and instead (where possible) do not respond at all or use a benign response instead. The act of gaining positive fuel sits within and is part of the prosocial concept but it is not THE concept.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          When you seek to slow the desire to respond with malice or not at all, does that apply just to that person in just that moment? Meaning does it still have to be released perhaps on another in the fuel matrix? Or are you practicing a completely different way to quell or at least control that desire internally?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            It is with regard to that individual in that instant.

          2. FYC says:

            HG, I would appreciate your insights on the following 5 questions:

            I assume malice presents in two forms, 1) ignited fury resolved by regaining control through malice (either immediate or delayed), and 2) malice used purely for potent fuel generation (unprovoked by fury).
            Is this correct?

            With regard to NA’s question, I immediately recalled your example of fury ignited by the Matrinarc, but resultant malice poured out on several uninvolved people in the incident.
            Was this not displaced malice for the M in the moment, carried out toward others as a release of that fury and also to rebalance your sense of control?
            Did this event happen prior to your stated prosocial change?

            Does your prosocial new dynamic include the desire to eliminate the desire to act on any form of malice regardless of provocation?

            In times when you might feel a desire for malice, could it not be delayed and redirected upon, say, the unsavory types you keep us safe from in your other profession?

            Thanks in advance for your reply.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            1. Yes.
            2. Yes.
            3. Yes.
            4. That is its stated intent.
            5. This sometimes happens.

          4. FYC says:

            Thank you for the clarification, HG, it was helpful for me in understanding your new dynamic.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome FYC.

          6. lisk says:

            So your overall tendency to manipulate is then not addressed in the ProSocial dynamic?

            How is triangulation mitigated within this dynamic? (Because it seems like it’s not been dealt with.)

          7. HG Tudor says:

            It cannot. The desire for control is hardwired into what I am. It is the manifestation of this need for control that is addressed.

          8. lisk says:

            Got it. Thank you for clarifying, HG.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            Jolly good.

        2. empath007 says:

          Very interesting. I look forward to reading about it.

        3. lisk says:

          I am saying the same thing.

          You need fuel one way or the other.

          The point is to keep it ProSocial and not antisocial.

      2. WhoCares says:

        lisk, NA, FYC & HG,
        I enjoyed the discussion on the prosocial concept.

  6. Nina says:

    Ahhhh, HG!! Let me guess, they both want you?

  7. njfilly says:

    I guess the golden period is over.

    1. jessrnny says:

      That’s what I was thinking but it could also just be a test for the Shieldmaiden. Tests occur during the Golden Period. I’m sorry but I’ve always thought that Dr. O seriously gets off thinking about HG. Who doesn’t? I’ve been on
      Instagram only to see this play out and HG is a genius in this case. I can’t think of a better way to create a spinal column of insecurity for both females. They won’t say it…he knows that. They have to much pride. I’m glad I’m on this side of the pond.

      1. lisk says:

        Me, too!

        Love the “spinal column of insecurity” phrase.

  8. lisk says:

    But what happens when both want the same thing?

    They want to see you married? Are you getting married on Friday?

  9. mai51 says:

    Interesting use of tense. One is past and one is present….. hmmmmmm 🤔

  10. santaann1964 says:

    Does the doctor really look like that? Come on, if she does, it’s a set up. Lol

    1. Anm says:

      We all know SM is really the Greater/Machiavellian here.

      1. lisk says:

        Do we? I do not know that!

  11. santaann1964 says:

    I mean you can’t make this shit up! Crazy.

    1. lisk says:

      Well, we can’t…but HG and his kind sure can!

  12. santaann1964 says:

    Mr. H you should have a party and fly us all to you! We would have a blast 250 Empaths and 1 Narcissist. So exciting

  13. kel2day says:

    HG, do the good doctors read this blog?

  14. Mercy says:

    Poor Dr O is being condemned before the article has been read.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Wow. I can’t believe the froth HG’s trailer has whipped up. It has been an eye opener to the level of overthinking and projection that can occur. The only evidence I see so far is only that there will be an article on Oct 4th involving HG’s view of two women he interacts with.

      1. Mercy says:

        NarcAngel, right? So much to learn here.

  15. Claire says:

    Wow, did I read correctly some readers hate Dr O? What is the reason for the hatred? Have these reader being treated by Dr O or the least did they have the chance to meet her IRL?
    Or they just project their deluded jealousy over Dr O?
    I am going to have a glimpse on the upcoming article or listed to the audio because I am curious if the doctor has breached the professional code of conduct or not .
    It would be worthy ( although I realise it won’t happen) to hear her side of the story.
    H.G. has mentioned that SM had more qualifications than Dr O . If this statement is related to their professional accomplishments and level of education and if SM is not a MD, then it doesn’t make any sense.

    1. Chihuahuamum says:

      Hi claire….my dislike of Dr. O is from what ive read about her in the past. She strikes me as unprofessional. Of course whats been written is from HGs perspective and maybe its skewed. Any psychologist that allows themselves to be seduced and influenced by their client needs to go get therapy and step away bc theyre not helping their client.
      I dont know Dr. O so maybe my dislike is unfair but from what ive read i dont like what seems to be going on.

      1. Claire says:

        I couldn’t agree more Chi that every psychologist or psychiatrist who is making efforts to seduce their patients need a therapy themselves and must have their licences revoked.
        Yes we are human , some but patients could be very physically attractive, etc but the boundaries patient – doctor must not be crossed.

        But what about if H.G. tried to seduce Dr O?
        Or they might had hooked up or had ONS purely in the name of science- H.G. to show the doctor what a narc seduction means on a physical level, in vivo and Dr O to make some clinical notes after the practical seminar is over .

        Or they might have had a high tea together discussing Brexit .

        Or H.G. is tying the knot in Friday and Dr O is invited as a matron/ made of honour.

        Who knows really .

        1. Chihuahuamum says:

          Hi claire
          Theres so many scenerios. Ive even thought what if Dr. O is just a made up character. I dont care if they exist or not and am grateful for what ive learned.
          Hypothetically if Dr. O is a real psychologist or not she should not participate in seducing or being seduced. You cant help who you are attracted to but as a psychologist when it crosses the line and youre flirting back that is a red flag that you are no longer focusing on helping your patient.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            She is real.

        2. Joanne says:

          “Or they might have had a high tea together discussing Brexit” — LOL!
          Everyone is feisty this week.

      2. lisk says:

        I agree, too, Chi.

        She should have dumped him at the first session, like any of us who saw the first signs/red flags.

  16. WiserNow says:

    You poor thing HG! You have two apparently attractive, intelligent women who both want the same thing… you.

    ..and, of course, you are blameless in this little ‘menage a trois’…😏

    But *will* you actually be proSocial? Or is it the fuel that will ultimately win? The mind boggles.

    I am going to suspend all judgement and just look forward to October 4th 😊

  17. kel2day says:

    On January 21st this year I asked you if Shield Maiden was Dr O. I asked if Dr O volunteered to be the test subject in the experiment of you having a relationship with someone who knows you’re a narcissist. It got a Tudor nod of approval. It must have crossed Dr O’s mind too, or perhaps you subliminally suggested it to her and made her do things she wouldn’t normally do.

  18. Lorelei says:

    HG—you say repeatedly, “Why would you want to be with a narcissistic psychopath?”
    Heck no never again. If this woman and this upcoming story is as is eluded to she simply needs a special brand of help. I want authenticity going forward, although the stories you tell are great fun.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The power of emotional thinking is immense.

      1. Lorelei says:

        Yes I know but there are many non-narcissists that offer a tremendous value—that has a much better ring to it especially in your case! You being of higher energy and a more calculated sort… That seems like a no brained to stay very secondary.

      2. Lorelei says:

        Speaking of emotional thinking.. Is it really possible to get to where I can consistently turn it off like a light? Its a useless feature in my life!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You don’t turn it off, it remains at a de minimis Level through Zero Impact

          1. Lorelei says:

            Can I just morph into a narcissist?!

          2. HG Tudor says:


          3. Lorelei says:

            Cold therapy maybe? Dip me in ice and I pop out a narcissist.

      3. lisk says:

        And so is The Power of Love, a la Jennifer Rush.

      4. WiserNow says:

        Amen to that HG.

  19. FoolMe1Time says:

    We all can speculate Joanne, the only thing we know for sure is that we will have to wait until October 4th to find out for sure.

  20. Abw Flying says:

    What do you see on the piece of paper Dr O is holding?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Final Draft of The Creature.

      1. Abw Flying says:

        This! I knew that looked familiar.

    2. ceyceyc says:

      it looks like an “a” . a is for anarchy.
      fire in the hole !

  21. Joanne says:

    Did I miss some major triangulation? Has Dr O become an intimate appliance? I am so confused!

    1. WiserNow says:

      The apparent flirtation going on with Dr O does sound like a recent thing, but I think I remember a while back (around two years ago I think) that HG mentioned that he had ‘designs’ on Dr O when he was discussing the doctors in one of his posts. Please don’t ask me exactly which post because I can’t remember. I just recall that he made a comment about it.

      I think he has had her in his sights for a while, although he hasn’t written about it much.

      1. Joanne says:

        Thank you, WN. I do vaguely recall there being some passive mention on his interest in her. I guess we will have to wait and see what it all means later this week… Hope you’re not future faking us HG 😬

        1. HG Tudor says:

          What have I told you about hope?

          1. WiserNow says:

            Yes, the interest in Dr O was mentioned in passing. I suspect that the article coming up on Friday is going to blow apart any emotional thinking stirred up by the ‘Stargazing with the Shieldmaiden’ post. I have a feeling that all that talk about being pro-social and wondering whether or not to be honest was one massive future fake.

            Yes, hope is ’emotional thinking’ on steroids. Thank you for helping me to see just how ridiculously idealistic my thinking can be.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No future faking here.

          3. Joanne says:

            True. I will rephrase, “you’d better not be future faking us, HG.”

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Now now Joanne, don’t go all “Lesser” on me.

          5. Joanne says:

            My pet name can now be “Lee” 😂

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha, very good.

    2. K says:

      HG’s opinion regarding the Good Drs has changed since the blog started. One for the better and one for the worse and one of his Doctors is a Lieutenant of one of the narcissists who abused him.

      The mystery deepens.

  22. Stella SHELF Unmaskers says:

    Maybe I’m a bit slow-witted, but I cannot understand who is the Shieldmaiden? Is she someone who is romantically involved with you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      My IPPS.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        There you go! So I was not that confused in the end! I’m gonna have to draw a family tree from now on to follow up, HG.

      2. Stella SHELF Unmaskers says:

        Poor SM…!!! 😀 😀 😀

  23. E. B. says:

    This is so exciting! The title is Dr O vs The SM and your article starts with “One advocated… One benefits…”
    Did Dr O advocate the concept of you being ProSocial *for an ulterior motive*??

  24. FoolMe1Time says:

    Do you know what HG? I’m going for both of them wanting what is best for you, and the people that care about you. Final answer! Lol

  25. Abw Flying says:

    No assumptions. No judgment.
    Waiting patiently to read the story from your perspective.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Atta girl. Me too.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I second Joanne and NA.

        1. FoolMe1Time says:

          Oh SP! Is your nose growing pinochio? Lol

  26. empath007 says:

    I figured there was a reason you did not answer my questions in the other thread (or post it)… Looks like I shall see on Friday haha. This place is starting to take up a lot of my time haha! I feel like I need to get a life already.. but I do enjoy juicy gossip for the purposes of learning!

  27. Truh says:

    Dear sweet baby Jesus.

    If it will help you, HG.

  28. Mercy says:

    This sounds like it’s going to be good. Can’t wait!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Sounds like, Mercy? It will be good, better than good.

      1. Mercy says:

        Of course HG. I have no doubts.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      It had better be as I’m putting aside time from alphabetizing my soup cans for it now that I see people are anticipating something big.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        Anticipation at times with HG turns out just as bad as assuming NA. Lol. Soup cans alphabetized NA! Please tell me it isn’t so?! 🤦🏼‍♀️

      2. Mercy says:

        NarcAngel, is it weird that I had a smidge of jealousy think about your perfectly organized cupboards? I need a life. Thank HG for new reading material!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

  29. Lorelei says:

    If she dresses that way around clients she does need a therapist! Naughty naughty. Shame on her!

    1. Supernova DE says:

      Lorelei I love your avatar!

      1. Lorelei says:

        Thank you! It’s my favorite that I’ve used here.

        1. Violetta says:

          How do you pick one? Mine just showed up. Cranky looking monster.

          1. Lorelei says:

            You need a word press account and use the app —you can then access your photo library on your phone.

  30. Chihuahuamum says:

    Boooo Dr. O!!! Dr. O needs her oen therapist!

    1. santaann1964 says:


  31. MB says:

    I feel sick already! It’s like a car wreck. You don’t want to look, but you can’t help it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You need to look in order to learn MB.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I need to work in order to live. I used to have a life before this blog!

        1. empath007 says:

          HAHAHAHAHA ! OMG I feel that way EVERDAY Sweetest…. like what the fuck has happened to me???

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I have a break now, what’s going on? Haha.

          2. empath007 says:

            Haha! And we don’t even know each other ! my friends make fun of me… but there I go making excuses for myself , just like I did with the narc 🤔 hmmm… addiction may be one of issues 🤣

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            And boredom!

          4. empath007 says:

            Boredom… yes… as awful as the narc was he sure kept things interesting….. also just an FYI for some of you I have an image in my mind of what you look like … not in a creepy way but in a reading a book and imagining characters kind of way. Haha.

            Does anyone else do that ? HG do you have ideas about certain readers?

          5. HG Tudor says:

            I know what many actually look like.

          6. empath007 says:

            Oh that’s right. The pictures.

          7. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Empath007, I think that’s natural. I have an image of the people I interact most with here, others I know what they look like from their avatar picture or their IG. What image do you have of me? Just for curiosity. Although looks are deceiving, look at my narc: yummy outside, rotten inside.

          8. empath007 says:

            You have described yourself… if I remember correctly you are of Latino or Spanish decent? And beautiful !

          9. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I didn’t! All I said was that I am blonde and vain, and I can speak a few languages -some better than others-. I don’t look anything like JLo, although I would kill to look like her when I turn 50! Damn she is amazing.

          10. Joanne says:

            But do you ever find yourself saying, “my friend from ‘the blog’ said….” LOL!

          11. empath007 says:

            Haha. No not really, I don’t talk about it too much. I have one friend I tell things too on occasion. But he makes fun of me 🤣 which I get… id do the same thing to him haha.

          12. santaann1964 says:

            The friends don’t understand, at least my don’t

        2. Joanne says:

          This is the funniest (and most accurate) thing I’ve read all day!

          1. ceyceyc says:

            “But do you ever find yourself saying, “my friend from ‘the blog’ said….” LOL!”

            heeeyy. that’s me. every time i say something , they ask ” what does that guy say? (they mean HG)” or “what do other people say?” because i often talk about this blog. all my best friends know, some of them read most of articles.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            HG approves.

    2. FoolMe1Time says:

      Actually for some reason MB, I feel worse then sick! I’m thinking I won’t rush into assuming how horrible this is going to be, I’ll wait for the article.

      1. MB says:

        Hopefully, it isn’t what we think FM1T!

        1. FoolMe1Time says:

          I’m not sure what you’re thinking MB? I let my ET out when I first read the article. I’m just going to wait and read it on Friday! HG has away about the way he teaches, that is quite different then anyone else, I’m learning to wait for the evidence and not assume. Lol

        2. Mercy says:

          MB and FM1T, is it harder to read about HGs current relationship than it is to read about his past relationships?

          1. FoolMe1Time says:

            Honestly Mercy I have know idea if any of these relationships were and are real? It’s HG! As much as I’d like to believe everything is going to come up smelling like roses, I have my doubts, he’s a narcissist. It doesn’t matter how intelligent, charming, or how many people ( including myself ) he has helped, at the end of the day he is probably the most dangerous narcissist in the world.
            HG made SM real to a lot of people when he brought her on the scene in January on Instagram, so I would say it would be harder to hear about a devaluation or disengagement concerning her, more then the relationships of the past. But again it’s HG, he is a story teller, for me now after learning from him for all of these years, I will wait for proof and evidence even after the article he posts on the 4th.

          2. Mercy says:

            FM1T, I believe they are real but you’re right, he’s a great story teller. He is the one that drives home perspective so I always read remembering that the story is being told from a narcissist perspective.

          3. Joanne says:

            Is it harder for you?

            I commented the other day that I have a really hard time reading about SM. There are so many positive, happy comments about this relationship where all I feel is trepidation and guilt. I’m honestly clueless about what is happening with Dr O, but if it’s what I think it is (a triangle forming) then it seems my fears would be confirmed…. 🙁

          4. Mercy says:

            Joanne, no it’s not harder for me. SM is more real to me because HG has made her real with the pics on IG and talk of his relationship. I can detach from my personal feelings though in order to learn. I do find it strange that Dr O is being made a villain by some readers. I’m also finding the reactions and different levels of sensitivity on this subject interesting.

          5. Lorelei says:

            Wouldn’t it be fun to put together a lovely bag of goods for HG to shower her with Mercy! He can’t assemble girly gifts like we can. Impossible. She would not know what to think with the products I can pick out!

          6. HG Tudor says:

            I am intrigued.

          7. Lorelei says:

            Do you doubt my ability to package up the very nicest feminine treats? Really? I’m as informed as it comes. I wouldn’t expect you to know these sorts of things.

          8. HG Tudor says:

            Not in the slightest, I know you are well-versed in quality and you have a formidable shopping portfolio of experience. I may let you handle my Christmas Giving this year.

          9. Lorelei says:

            We will explore. I’ve started my holiday shopping. It’s delicious fun.

          10. HG Tudor says:


          11. FoolMe1Time says:

            All of a sudden I have the feeling I have been so very very wrong, and have backed the wrong horse!!

          12. Lorelei says:

            I’m still in the check out Foolme.

          13. FoolMe1Time says:


          14. Mercy says:

            Lorelei, I’m sensing we share a common love of shopping. I’ve seen some of HGs gifts to the SM. They are quite impressive.

          15. Lorelei says:

            Sometimes the appreciation lasts longer in a bag of frilly things as you know. It’s more thoughtful and more personal than a purse or jewelry.

          16. Joanne says:

            That all sounds very logical, Mercy. Well done. I feel emotionally affected by the SM relationship because it is current, and we can see and read about it real time. So there’s a strange sense of guilt in me, in knowing what the ugly outcome could be, while this woman is probably head over heels in love right now. Putting myself in her position, floating on cloud 9. Meanwhile, there is an entire community of people secretly following the trajectory of her relationship, knowing what she’s entangled with, and how it can all go down. Insta was giving me even greater unease as it seemed that followers had a really over-romanticized view of the whole thing, hyping it in some way… I had to stop looking.
            You have the right idea by detaching your personal feelings in order to learn. It doesn’t affect me the same when I read about the previous relationships. I think it’s awful to hear about what some of those appliances endured, but since it is in the past, I can shake my head and move along.

          17. Mercy says:

            Joanne, I get what you mean by having a sense of guilt. Just remember it’s not your burden. You cannot change what is going to happen. We don’t have to accept it, encourage it or make excuses for it. We can simply observe and learn.

            I’m with you on IG. I don’t mind the pics but the comments are too much. I peak once in a while but not often. Actually since I’m NC again I’m rarely on social media anymore and I’m considering deleting my accounts. I only stay so I can see what my girls are posting.

          18. Mercy says:

            Joanne, I forgot to ask how things are going with you. It’s been awhile since we’ve talked. Last I knew he contacted you and you had a brief back and forth.

          19. Joanne says:

            Thanks for asking, Mercy 🙂 Things are pretty good. Nothing new from him since that last hoover a couple months back. I’m practicing “fake NC” now, as in – he is blocked everywhere from seeing or contacting me, but I do take frequent peeks at his public social media. It usually happens when I’m bored/have too much downtime at work. I don’t feel anything when I look except a feeling of “smh” and eyeroll over how fake he is and how fake our whole brief “romance” was. Our year “narciversary” was last week – one year from the time it all started. Facebook was kind enough to send me a memory of the picture that started it all. It’s crazy to think that this all remains such a frontal thought in my mind but as we’ve discussed before, it becomes more and more about the how and why versus him personally. It’s pretty amazing how the awareness I’ve gained from being here has changed the way I look at all my relationships, and people in general. I also think that while I have done my healing, this experience will stick with me forever so there is always something to learn.

            How are you doing? I see from the other comment that you are NC again – good girl! Any more hoovers since that one from earlier this summer? It sounds like you’re firmly footed in logic now which is great. And did I read someplace that you’re dating?

          20. Mercy says:

            Joanne, I tried dating for like 5 minutes. Nope not ready. It makes me think too much. It’s not an enjoyable experience. Some day hopefully. I had a hoover not too long ago. The IPPS was involved and she reached out for help. Of course this led to interaction with him. It was a horrible week for me. He hurt her, ended up in the hospital and he was arrested. I’ve learned how very dangerous he is and for the first time I realize that I should be scared. She needs to get out bit she’s just learning what he is and is in denial. I can’t do anything for her so I’m NC with both.

            I feel nothing for him. It’s as you said, the whys and how’s if the situation is what haunts me. I’m glad you’re so long well. This experience may stick with us forever but we’ve grown from it.

          21. NarcAngel says:

            Glad to hear you are still no contact with both. I had wondered. Keep busy cleaning those drawers and cupboards! I purged my undergarments cupboard today. I pray the bag doesn’t explode when it hits the garbage truck. There would be a lot of traumatized neighbours and sanitation workers punching their cocks on the job.

          22. Mercy says:

            NarcAngel, hahaha this reminded me of your friend at the store with the balloons and news crew. I can see it now, your undergarments explode, shut down traffic, workers arrested and it’s all over the news. I’m actually going to start building my pantry this weekend. It’s going to be my masterpiece. I’ve been planning it for a year and I think I’ve got it perfected.

            Yes I took your advice and went NC with her too. It was too much. It’s very strange, when I’m in the situation, the emotions are so out of control that I can’t reason with myself that I need to get out. When I started reading HG again and the readers comments I regained some clarity and was able to shut it down. The crazy part is there is no sadness or sense of loss. It really is an addiction to the extreme emotions.

          23. NarcAngel says:

            It’s completely unreasonable how excited I am at the prospect of your new pantry. I’m eyeing up mine now.

          24. Mercy says:

            NarcAngel, I think you’re the only person in the world that can appreciate these kinds of things like I do haha. My kid’s and friends just don’t get it.

          25. Joanne says:

            WOW! I didn’t know he was violent, and certainly not to that degree! That is terrifying. I sometimes consider the things the narc said to me (about his ex) and I try and apply them to myself/us. It is a wakeup call in terms of what people with no empathy are capable of. I’m sorry they pulled you into their mess. I’m glad you had the good sense to remove yourself from it. Completely not your problem AT ALL.

            Definitely take your time with dating. Someday, when you’re ready, it will be a pleasant experience. Until then, you just keep getting strong and building the love for YOU <3

          26. Mercy says:

            Joanne, I didn’t know either. I did what I could for her and referred her to HG. Any more and he would have turned his rage on me. She’s still under his influence so I know anything I do or say will be told to him to gain his favor. I won’t be their scapegoat. Thanks for listening. It’s good to be amongst people who understood again

          27. Joanne says:

            You gave her the best resource available, the map to freedom, and now it’s up to her to find her way out. It was more than enough for you to have done that.

          28. Desirée says:

            I am 100% on board with putting together a goodie bag! Let’s join forces, I have so many ideas. HG should set up a PR adress so we can send stuff. And isn’t the SM an Aquarius? Her birthday is not too far away either, then.

          29. HG Tudor says:

            I know from previous observations you have made, Desiree, that you have good taste.

          30. FoolMe1Time says:

            Great Job Desirée and Lorelei, I cant ever remember a time that Mr. Tudor has ever considered letting someone shop for him! You two will be the first to get some type of address out of him, even if it is only a PR box. Great job ladies!!

          31. Desirée says:

            Thank you for the acknowledgement, HG. I do have good taste, I chose you as my advisor, after all.

          32. HG Tudor says:

            HG approves.

          33. Lorelei says:

            Desirée—we cannot join forces as we are anonymous beings, but we can advise he get his mother a Walmart gift card!

          34. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Haha that’s funny, Lorelei.

          35. FoolMe1Time says:

            Very good Lorelei!! Hahaha

          36. Lorelei says:

            Each time I go I want to hang myself.

          37. FoolMe1Time says:

            Hahaha I know that feeling.

    3. Supernova DE says:

      I feel the same….but I’ll read it the second he posts it. I don’t even usually check here on the weekend…now I will. You got me HG!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        I own you.

        1. empath007 says:

          You know HG I’m going to have to give it to you.. it is clear by my apparent addiction to this site… You own us… Isn’t that just like a narcissist? haha.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Isn’t that strange?!

          2. empath007 says:

            haha! but as for MY narcissist… he doesn’t own shit (expect for maybe his own)… I upgraded to Knowing The Narcissist… therefore he doesn’t stand a chance anymore haha.

        2. Supernova DE says:

          “HG Tudor says:
          September 30, 2019 at 19:49
          I own you.”

          You do.

          Also this sounds like foreplay to me. #narcbait

          1. Supernova DE says:

            More accurately #nowonderimnarcbait

    4. NarcAngel says:

      Huh? Where do you get that it’s going to be bad? My only thought was: New reading on Friday.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        I made myself go that way NA. Sometimes my emotional thinking still tries to sneak in, but after rereading the post and thinking about it, well! It won’t be bad for me, however it might be bad for one of the ladies involved, but that’s not my problem.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Or it could be good. Practice not having any preconceived notions or what-if scenarios. Geez, I thought I was the dark one haha.

          1. FoolMe1Time says:

            I’m trying NA truly I am. Btw, you are the dark one! Hahaha! Duck NA! Virtual hug coming your way! Hahaha 🤗

          2. Lorelei says:

            Are you really organizing cabinets NA? I’m lucky to remember to change my underwear this past few weeks!

          3. NarcAngel says:

            I’m fairly organized. I just had a home inspection and the Inspector told me it was hard to find something wrong. He did find a tiny fried mouse behind the electrical panel. When he asked me to sign off I said (with a straight face): give me a minute as I am mourning the loss of my pet. He stared at me and I said: I didn’t know I had one but still. THEN he laughed.

          4. Lorelei says:


          5. lisk says:


            Very difficult to “practice not having any preconceived notions or what-if scenarios,” when it comes to HG/His Kind and the behaviors and patterns he has described and taught herein.

          6. NarcAngel says:

            Lisk (or anyone else)
            Serious question: Why do you think that is?

            I don’t understand causing oneself anxiety where there may be none. There’s enough to deal with generally so that indicates an addiction to chaos to me. I read that there would be an article Oct 4 and thought: oh good, new reading. No expectation, no scenarios. I sometimes experience going over (in a very brief and general way) what I think might happen to stay one step ahead in a situation where I am directly involved, but that does not extend to things like this where I am not. I have been accused of overthinking by narcissists but I know that is just provocation. This however, seems to me to be because we have no personal stake in it. I said that to FM1T because I thought it might help to recognize and lessen self-induced anxiety so that things can be more experienced in the moment. It was not meant to be glib.

          7. K says:

            I am very pragmatic; I wait for evidence and make inferences, however, sometimes I like to have fun and make guesses.

          8. Mercy says:

            Hi K! So do you have any guesses? I was hoping you’d join in the discussion Friday. I miss your input! I have a few but I think I’ll wait until Friday…

          9. K says:

            Hello Mercy
            Ha ha ha…I haven’t got any guesses re: this article and I am looking forward to joining in on Friday morning for the discussion with you and the others. See you then!

          10. Mercy says:

            Looking forward to it K

  32. Sweetest Perfection says:

    So, enlighten me here. If SM is your current IPPS and now there’s competition from that doctor that should lose her license, does she become a candidate IPSS and SM can be put down to the level of IPSS? Will you/have you been intimate with both? Will Dr O end up on your site when she is devalued, which she will be? This is truly Game of Thrones.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You will have to read and find out.

      1. Truth says:

        Did something inappropriate happen to you, HG? -_-

        1. HG Tudor says:


          1. Desirée says:

            And here I thought the area had been cleaned of seagulls weeks ago.
            As for the text: “One advocated, one benefits” would indicate that there is no conflict between them, why the “Versus” when there’s no fight…oh well, I never liked O anyway.
            We want her head on a spike!

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha.

          3. Lorelei says:

            Wrong spot to reply but oh well this thread is getting long. You responded re, the nature of a pro-social approach that a portion of the intent is to slow down a malign/negative fuel seeking response. You are certainly able to come up with this concept independently so what is the point of seeing anyone to assist?

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I did not come up with it independently

          5. Lorelei says:

            Let me save you the time. I could have told you to do this. Want to consult with me? Jesus HG.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            No, you could not/

          7. Lorelei says:

            Yes—that I could have come up with.

          8. santaann1964 says:

            When you tell us! I never forgot that article where you said you will tell us one day.

    2. Truth says:

      One can only hope. *shaking my head*

    3. gabbanzobean says:

      Wait a minute….y’all think he is sexing the therapist? Okay now I am going to tune in for this.

    4. Desirée says:

      SP, an IPPS does not get downgraded to an IPSS, even if disengaged from, they then remain former IPPS. I assume this is about HGs decision to act in a more Pro Social manner, not that there is something going on romantically with him and O. But don’t get me wrong, HG.
      I have no doubts O is lying lonely in her bed at night, waiting for her day to come.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I knew that, agh! Why am I confusing terms? I think the sentence “Dr. O versus SM” messed up with my head. I guess I’m gonna have to “wait and see” as HG said.

      2. kel2day says:

        HG was enticed by Dr O from the beginning. Probably all a narcissist needs is to just make that person want them. Nothing has to happen, she just has to believe it will.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Was enticed? Ha ha.

          1. kel2day says:

            Yes enticed, aroused, attracted. You wanted to talk to Dr O about your sex life, not Dr E, and Dr E said this wasn’t about them, it’s about you. And when I asked you if Dr O was SM, I said ‘if so, clever way to accomplish your goal’ referring to your earlier desires. You wanted to seduce her, and you succeeded.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Re-read your original comment. You got it the wrong way around, I don’t think you have realised.

          3. kel2day says:

            Oh, I see

          4. Lorelei says:

            HG—this can’t be real. A real Dr. O would see the post and recognize it as sensationalism. Yet, the story is fun. Maybe on Friday she can do a Sharon Stone and part her legs in that short skirt.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Not the case, Lorelei.

        2. Desirée says:

          It seemed to me HG was picking up on O’s obsession with him, not the other way around. O’s obsession with HG is not of a primarily sexual nature, although that is part of it. I believe that above all else, she would get a kick out of getting him to perform health so she can say she “tamed the beast”.

          1. lisk says:

            Nah, O’s enthralled and wants some of that beast.

            He had her at Dr. First Middle Surname.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha.

    5. FYC says:

      Doubtful. Dr. O would be a downgrade. I will not be presumptuous and comment before Friday, but I have my thoughts on the cryptic words above. I look forward to the post to see what unfolds.

  33. WhoCares says:

    MB – more waiting!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is good for you, builds character.

    2. MB says:

      This one I can wait for. Conflict isn’t my thing. I’d be just fine never knowing.

      1. WhoCares says:

        It is an interesting way to proceed with introducing us to the SM… And a form of triangulation.
        I’m not sure I like the flavour of competition myself.

        1. MB says:

          I’m glad I’m not the only one. I hope she isn’t still treating him.

          I can’t blame her for being attracted. The man is a force of nature and if he set out to seduce her (as I suspect he did from his writing) she wouldn’t stand a chance. I can blame her however for continuing to treat him whilst having the conflict of interest.

      2. Kathleen says:

        Agree MB. Not that interesting. I don’t know what proSocial is but it sounds tiring and manipulative.

  34. Sweetest Perfection says:

    And the thing is you, I presume.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A thing of beauty.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        A RING!? Jesus, I chose the wrong sequel.

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