I have a fascination for inanimate objects. Show me a beautiful watch with its intricate mechanism on display and I shall sit transfixed for a long time admiring the craftsmanship in this creation. I like to touch one of my favourite suits relishing the sensation of the cloth. I will hold it up pleased with the way it hangs and then of course admire how I wear it in the mirror. A sculpture, a painting, a car or a piece of jewellery. They all invite my admiration. They are items of beauty and superiority and as such firmly belong in my world. Moreover, they do exactly what I want. I love my dishwasher. It always works. I press the buttons and it obeys my commands, quietly churning away as it removes the residue from the expensive crockery. The glassware comes out shining, without streaks or marks. Each and every time. Objects are reliable. They perform as I require them to perform. I love nothing more than an appliance. It complies, it obeys and it delivers. I love possessions.
I love to possess you and make you an inanimate object. That is how I see you. You are an appliance which I expect to do as I demand.You are but an extension of me, placed here to carry out my demands and whims. I like to attach brand names to my ex-girlfriends. Becky was Zanussi – she was good at science, thus she was the appliance of science. Sarah was Nike since I had to tell her to Just Do It.(she called me Burger King – have it your way, I quite liked her).Another was Energizer as she kept going and going and going (but that’s another tale). I like to think I am Tag Heuer (Success. It’s a Mind Game).I objectify everybody and assess how they can be a good appliance to me. Once that is done I have to acquire the appliance. I have possession of you and you must act as I dictate. All my other possessions do, so why should you be any different?
6 thoughts on “Inanimate Compliance”
Things that have movements are not exactly inanimate. Hell, they’re not always that reliable, either.
My guess is you’ve discarded some inaccurate timepieces in your lifetime.
Just a little tale of someone seeing a woman “on her own”, and in his mind thinking he just can take her and everything she owns and earns ……. I had met a guy at a meetup who ignored me first on fb, then suddenly was all interested after weeks, strangely enough, but I was in the middle of moving. He came over to help (not much hard work to do) though I had only seen him once. I was exhausted and thought “why not”, I had done like 80% myself at that point. So, I found some of his ways a bit strange that evening, but made excuses no end, as always, … he just sat on my fresh laundry, touched and rearranged just anything, etc. He tried to kiss me at the end of the evening, I was literally pushed into the corner, and he tucked up his t-shirt (not too nice), and out of sheer curiosity I kissed him a little, but then threw him out, saying, I was tired, etc. It was horrible!! Hard to describe, but thinking about narcs, it hit me, what was wrong about him: I think he tried to mimic “passion” … *lol* … not nice at all. So off-putting.
Because stupid me had thought in theory that he _could_ be a good fit anyways, I was still so stupid, to invite him to my new place. It is 4 hrs away from where he works or lives (with his parents, at the weekends, haha), ….
He came much too early, without ever notifying me. He carried in like 3 huuge bags, — for 1 weekend max.
He started to bake bread within 10 min. here!! Rummaging through my cupboards, taking me stuff, like it was all his. (You see where this is going). He brought me food — after I had declined that offer the 1st time, but he kept offering, so I gave in and said, ok, he could bring some vegan food from a special place. Of course he brought then food with cheese in it!!
In short: absolutely nothing he said all evening made sense, he judged everything and knew just everything better, he bragged about how he was earning waay more than he needed now, when I asked how much — it wasn’t an impressive sum at all. Said he was going on Buddhist retreats, but couldn’t explain a single thing, what/how he was practising. (And that had been the reason I thought I should give it a try to get to know him.)
He went on and on about me being “alone”, about what the neighbours might think about that, how good it was, that he was there, he could introduce me to a friend of his, … ….
He just went into my office, he just took anything he felt like, he was constantly complaining, he left a very dirty bathroom, …. he tried to make me drink wine, ….Made a grimace when I made tea, and also when I put on a movie, when too exhausted from talking to him.
He came on to me all evening, from a late afternoon walk, till “bed time”, — I told him over and over “no”!!! and tried to put some space between us, and he still grabbed at me, tried to put his arm around me, attached himself to me, tried to kiss me.
I sat away from him in the armchair, and he came after me, sat on the side, tried again to put his arm around me, saying, I seemed to have my life in control, he liked my new house (at the beach), he wouldn’t mind moving in!!! And that we should try a relationship. !!
Jesus! I told him loud and clear “no”, and all …
I tried to retreat to my bed room rather early, to get rid of him, but he claimed he needed a photo of the passcode on the wireless router in there. So he took it, but then came close to “give me a good night kiss.”. I gave a very short, very dry one, to get rid of him, trying to push him out of the room then, and he turned around, came very disgustingly close at me, and tried again. I kind of yelled at him at that point but unfortunately was too polite and kind, to kick him out in the middle of the night after his long drive …. Told him to stay out of my office, and showed him the guestroom.
He said about his ex of course that she had mental problems, had tried to hurt herself …
His pictures on FB are like 13 years old, and he is extremely thin, said he had been anemic … Completely delusional however, how he looks now, with grey beard (yuck!) and all …. He is the exact same age as me, but looks like at least 10 yrs older. He also seems to have had loads of different jobs and started going for completely different degrees at college. Strangely claimed to have worked as an English teacher, but couldn’t speak comprehensible standard English for the life of him, I had to ask him to repeat everything all the time. The way he pronounced some things was in a very rural, uneducated way.
I succeeded at kicking him out the next morning, but was all strange and draining enough till he finally left, first reaction of his was to make tea and to rummage through my cupboards. I had written him a message, asking him to leave, and telling him I was staying in bed because not feeling way, I would sleep in – but he sent a message, and after I didn’t answer, of course spoke to me through my door, like I hadn’t made myself clear.
I hope and hope that he hadn’t gone through my stuff I had left in the guest room … that feeling of someone violating one’s privacy and knowing no boundaries AT ALL, is so horrible.
Red flag over red flag, but that “just deciding right away that I was his to take, and everything I own was there for him to take or use” — was really the strongest indicator.
When will you do Audio Books? I love to listen to you.
Thank you. They are in progress.
You really eat at Burger King? (I love their food but won’t allow myself to eat it!!)
I was a bad appliance today. I called out blame shifting and projection as it was happening today, after he picked a fight this morning. I’m getting the silent treatment now, thank God.
Reading this was helpful today to remember what I’m dealing with.
This is also, surely, because of a new supply (or reconstituting an old one).