Our kind are like a virus. We attach to those where we know we can infect them. Those who might be immune to us are not selected. The risk is too great and therefore we seek out another host that is far easier to overrun and provides the ideal environment for us to flourish. Your kind are unable to defend yourselves against our viral methodology and it is far too late before you realise that not only has the infection taken a hold and spread, but you also lack the means by which to eradicate it. Yes, you may well be able to reduce its effect and fight back to some degree but just like a virus, we are never completely wiped out and instead we remain dormant, waiting to be activated once more and the nefarious effects of our presence begin to be felt once again. There are six ways in which we infest your life.
- We fill up your inboxes
The joy of technology once again serves our kind well. We are able to bombard your inboxes with our words which come so easy to us. Whether it is your text inbox, messaging applications on social media or e-mail inbox, all of these soon become full of us. The inbox becomes burgeoned with our words. The beautiful seductive messages, the declarations of love and desire, the sexual temptations, the downright filthy yet tempting, the romantic and delicate, so many letters and words which have winged their way across the airwaves to nestle in your inbox. They sit there ready to be opened by you, thousands of little gifts awaiting opening as you thrill and delight as you open each one. We dominate your phone with insults, threats and demands, blitzing you with our hatred during devaluation, the incessant ping and buzz generating a sense of fear and dread in you as another malicious missive lands. You wince as you see another insult and swiftly delete it and then when the loving text finally comes, the relief you experience is overwhelming. Even when have vanished you still scroll through those wonderful and uplifting messages that you cannot bring yourself to delete. You read those beautiful words, yearning for the sender to return and issue them again, carefully crafted passionate announcements, tender statements of intent and romantic overtures. You do not want to eradicate these memories and you allow them to remain in those inboxes. They eventually may not be as full as they once were, but their presence remains.
- We invade your relationships
It seems such a delightful way to be when we first arrive and we want to know everybody who is involved in your life. We go out of our way to be charming and accommodating to your friends, your family, your neighbours and colleagues. You are thrilled at their plaudits as we happily accompany you to dinner with friends, how wonderful to have such a delightful person on your arm at last. Family events become far more fun with us in attendance. Everybody loves us and you love us all the more for it. We touch each and every person who has some connection to you, making them delight in us. We push away those that do not dance to our tunes, like white blood cells eradicating the enemy, we sweep through your connections and remove those who stand in our way. Everyone else becomes a recruit to our cause as we bolster our coterie and our lieutenants. You will come to regret the access you gave us to everybody that you know.
- We sequestrate your resources
Yours is ours. A simple mantra and one we wholeheartedly subscribe to as we avail ourselves of all your resources. We become a fixture in your home, we eat your food, consume your drinks and spend your money. Your utilities become used by us, we camp on to your Wi-Fi and revel in taking anything that belongs to you for our use. You want to go out but you cannot as we have taken the car. You are looking forward to that delicious ham for a sandwich but we have eaten it. The issue of domestic theft does not concern us as like an invading army we march across your territory slashing and burning as we voraciously consume until when we depart, like a departing plague of locusts you are left with nothing.
- We pollute your emotions
Your emotions belong to us. They must always be for us to consume as our fuel. They must always be directed towards us. We establish a lien over them, our option is first to take hold of those emotions. At the outset we want your love, your praise, your passion and adoration. Nobody else is allowed to have these things. They must be poured over us. We commandeer them and ensure that we are the recipient of delight, joy, happiness and admiration. We take hold of your emotional construction and then we twist, stretch and warp your emotions so that you find all of the good feelings have been turned into darker emotions. We demand those too, not only have we polluted the way that you feel, we take hold and seize the anger, the fear and the upset which now pours from you. Our manipulations and machinations are designed to turn your joyful heart black with dread and anxiety. Our polluting madness sweeps across you, unchecked and unhindered.
- We infect your heart and soul
Steadily, gradually and insidiously we plant ourselves deep inside your heart. We coil our toxic tendrils around your soul as we leech from it, both taking and infecting it with our presence. Through the creation of ever presence we ensure that when we call your heart thumps with excitement and your stomach becomes filed with butterflies. Seeing us walk towards you, smile plastered across our faces causes delight to soar as your soul is uplifted by our presence. Those once feelings of elation become dark and blackened but the totality of the effect remains indisputable. We are with you all the time. You see us in different places even when we are not there, you hear our voice when certain phrases are said by others. Music, oh the music, how it returns you to those tender and intimate moments in an instant, tugging on your heart and coursing through your soul. The smells, the sensations and the sounds all combine to pulsate through your heart and soul, a permanent reminder of us. These reminders bring the tears, they bring the joy, they bring hope, they bring anxiety but they always remain.
- We tarnish your trust
The extent of our infection is such that even when you have might have sought to banish us, relegate us to the back of your mind and try to drive us from your life, we still linger, the effects of our tortuous torment of you still very much real and alive. Your ability to trust has become tainted. You dare not trust again for fear of lightning strike twice. You find yourself hypervigilant, second-guessing, assessing and scrutinising and through this heightened state of awareness we remain inside you. Each action or word of another, whether friend of someone potentially even more special awakens the memory of what we once said and did to you. The eradication of your trust has succumbed to the disease of our presence and thus this works to hinder and prevent your recovery.
46 thoughts on “Infected”
HG I wish internet was around when I met my Narc. I was wondering if that would have made a difference in getting involved with him. Forgive me but perhaps this is my ET.
What I mean when I internet WAS NOT around.
You are better off that there was no internet around back then.
True HG it was better in some ways,however I still ended up with a Narcissist regardless.
HG since I met the MMR he tried to schedule me. He’s been telling me how long to work, have breaks, and said to track it on an app. He asks me each day. Isn’t that effort for him? To monitor me. I have been working more.
He gets angry that my friend works for me and keeps saying she’s my “subordinate” (He knows I treat her wonderfully). I would never subject her to meeting him.
Maybe you should study up on this site and see how these analogies have helped so many people understand narcissism before venting such strong accusations.
Sounds like herpes.
self-love is immunity or as an antibiotic
I thought it was onanism.
Word of the day “onanism”. You made me look that up!
Care to use it in a sentence MB?? Haha just joshing you. I had to look it up too. O
Not this time Satan. Yet shall we rise. To anyone who is feeling down and despondent like your light is gone out. Turn on that light again and live. Blind them with that light. Create a new thing from the malevolence and use the hard lessons as motivation to focus on your passion and help others who may be oppressed. I was there. I saw all the signs and ignored them. Still recovering but I’m better and stronger than before. The hold is no longer there. I can look at that person and pity them because while I am full and have internal resources from which to refill, they will always be empty. What wretched way to live.
Don’t forget our minds. Our sanity, sense of reality, and internal compass becomes distorted. We adjust our gaze, close our eyes half way and change our realities to match yours in order to survive. But then it changes again. Always the funhouse mirrors and slanted floors and then when we try to look back into ourselves to gain a sense of our original self, our original truth, it isn’t there. But we do recover. We can. Just not the same as before.
Your analogy to a virus is despicable in its inaccuracy. Really? Why don’t you try studying up on infections and susceptibility therein before spewing your ignorance? Viruses are far far more elegant, discerning and clever than narcissists. Shame on you HG.
Doubtless those who have a virus spend their time marvelling at its elegance and how discerning it is to have chosen them. “Oh, how privileged am I to have been infected by this virus, I am so pleased by its elegance now that I have Ebola.”
Personally, I have never heard anyone describe a virus as ‘elegant’. Or ‘discerning and clever’ either for that matter. Go figure.
Me neither. Until now.
Ebola is a true pain in the butt. I’d rather have it than live with my ex again. I’m strong and healthy—it wouldn’t kill me.
I didn’t want to fall out of love with LLN. What if it overlapped with his next Hoover? I didn’t *want* to be immune!
It’s a actually a very good analogy and resonates with my experience. Sad to say.
Thank you J&L.
The only person spewing ignorance here is you.
HG’s analogy is helpful and you are insulting a person that provides life-changing and unrivalled insights and information to readers for FREE.
This is HG’s house, if you don’t like it, don’t visit.
PS. Hanna get some help, I don’t think being a troll would’ve been an ambition but let’s face it you’re there.
I guess you never had a cold sore.
I don’t think anyone would describe a cold sore as ‘elegant’. Not in this universe anyway 😂
Hanna. These are a group of narcs (pretending to be normal) who attack anyone for superiority.
Be aware of this. They will gang up on you. Don’t take HG or his articles or his quagmire fans seriously.
Hello Pamela, good of you to join us again, albeit it under (yet another) different name. I thought I would allow a handful of your comments through to demonstrate your behaviour once again, in particular, your repeated need to hoover, to assist the further understanding of my readers who are not narcissists and do not attack anybody for superiority (although your projection shines through in that regard). Neither do they gang up on anybody and of course those who claim to be ganged up on are merely doing so in order to blame shift because they are unable to see why they are repeatedly at fault and we all know why that is.
I believe Tony and Harvey are waiting for you with a lawsuit for you. Do run along. Cheerio!
Is it sign of a Mid-Ranger to change your name but lack the self-awareness to change your profile picture and way of phrasing as well, HG? Asking for a “friend”.
That act in itself does not denote a Mid Range Narcissist. If there are other factors which reach a determination that this individual is a narcissist, such behaviour would be more appropriate with a Lesser.
I noticed that also. I don’t know that it’s indicative of a MR but it is surely indicative of a dumbass.
Right there with you NA. Some people just never learn! HG you have your window open again I see.
Ha ha indeed purely for entertainment er I mean education
I like this kind of education HG. Thank you! Lol
Finally you agree with him. It took you long enough Pamela!
?!! What the—-?
HG, you don’t force anyone to read this site. You charge for consultations and products, but you don’t force anyone to buy them. Those who do seem more than satisfied: you don’t send a pile of empty affirmations (which is why if and when I get a better job, I’ll be adding your work to my library). In the meantime, I’ve referred people to your site both in person and in comments on web articles, as my small recompense for the perspective you’ve given me on more than one individual, from the move-the-goalpost teacher through my Jr. High School frenemy, who was so cool I couldn’t imagine why she’d be friends with a little dweeb like me–of course that WAS why–all the way to the guy who turned me into a human yo-yo for reasons that made no sense to me. He wasn’t getting money, he wasn’t getting sex–if I wasn’t attractive enough for him to do and dump, why would he want my admiration? Wouldn’t he be creeped out and want me to go away? Why was he constantly staring at me? Blah blah…
I’ve encountered more than one narc in my life, and I couldn’t care less if your motive is money, having an adoring fan base out here in the webiverse, freeing us from our narcs solely so you can have our fuel all to yourself, or some combination of the above. After years of gaslighting by Job’s Comforters who told us, “I’m sure she didn’t mean that, he seems like the most patient guy, why aren’t you friends with so-and-so anymore, I’ve tried to be reasonable but you don’t even put forth the slightest effort, you could if you WANTED to,” etc., it is a relief to hear the truth at last about how your kind operate.
Thank you Violetta.
Then why are either of you here?
Envy and the need to hoover, although of course they do not realise this.
Thank you for noticing this HG greatly appreciated once again!
Seagull fly by. Fuel via attention.
Just thought I’d throw in my two cents to say that “quagmire fans” makes no sense and is grammatically confusing.
Perhaps you meant to say ‘fandom’? ..or perhaps ‘readership of fans’? These two descriptions would make more sense.