The Cleanliness of Dr O

 

THE CLEANLINESS OF DR O

Dr O.

We have known one another for several years now.

Longer than some of my intimate relationships with ladies. Now, there is an achievement for her.

Dr O.

Not her real name of course but the name I have given her since it is something that can be said quickly or typed swiftly and lends itself to such use in a variety of entertaining ways.

Her real name? Well, her full name was provided to me when recommended by Dr M. When I first met Dr O, I ascertained that the name that had been provided to me was anglicised since her looks and the ever so slightly discernible accent she have told me that she was not born on this sceptred isle.

I was right.

I found out that her name is Slavic and in fact her first name is most mirth-inducing and what it actually means neatly explains why she embarked upon being held to the whims of the misleading and false mistress. That fact has always made me smile. Her middle name finds considerable favour with me, given its meaning. Her surname is imperious and I do like that.

Once I gained this prime piece of intelligence it was ever so satisfying to sit down in one of my sessions with her, fix her with my unwavering stare and then ask how Dr First Middle Surname was.

Her eyes widened and she averted her gaze. I did not need her to do that to confirm that this was her name. The material which “had come my way” readily confirmed her real identity. What interested me was why she had chosen not to use this evocative name of her roots and instead opt for one which was admittedly elegant but a clear attempt to distance herself from where she had come.

“So, you know my name,” she said with an edge of defiance as she titled her head, her ponytail, shiny as always, after no doubt having been washed, conditioned and subjected to some expensive oil treatment or such like, dipping downwards. The gesture showed me her throat which was bare. No necklace or pendant, her crisp blouse open, her vulnerable throat exposed to me, just for an instant, but it had, way back then, increased my need to sink my teeth into it. Was this need literal or figurative?

“Yes, I know your name,” I responded to the always clean, always well-turned out Dr O. Her cleanliness has always been inviting to me. The Shieldmaiden is uber clean and I do not doubt she would vanquish Dr O when it comes to a comparison of how they go about their daily lives with regard to achieving and maintaining that level of cleanliness, purity, free of dirt, disease, stench and infection, yet both are champions of the hygienic.

Dr O has an enticing scent about her. I am certain she never wears fragrance as in an eau de toilette and definitely not the heavier eau de parfum. No, her scent arises from whatever she uses to wash with. On numerous occasions I have deflected from her questions as I sit and consider how she goes about her morning routine before she arrives at her consulting rooms. Doubtless she goes to her en suite (most be an en suite bathroom and a large one at that) straight from her bed (after all there was nobody initially there to keep her in it) and seamlessly into her beauty and hygiene routine. I would picture the spotless white tiled bathroom, with every glass, chrome and ceramic surface free of any kind of contaminant. Dr O discarding her night wear (blue and white gingham cotton pyjamas in winter and camisole and shorts silk and white for summer) before twisting the tap and allowing the fierce jets of water from her shower erupt and reach the optimum temperature before she enters the waterfall.

I remember how pleased I was when The Shieldmaiden told me that after a prolonged period away from her home, she would always run the shower with the bathroom door closed for fifteen minutes (and close and cover her mouth as she set this in motion) to ensure that any bacteria that would cause Legionnaire´s Disease would be removed. She did as I did and told me this without any hint or suggestion that this was also my routine. I also remember that when she told me this, I had wondered the same about Dr O and whether she utilised such an approach with regard to her shower. Given her high standards of cleanliness and overall aversion to contamination, I formed the conclusion that she is indeed a follower of this precaution.

Accordingly, I would envisage Dr O attending to herself in her shower and I would ponder the relevant products which she might use. As she would question me and I listened in our session and as I answered, my triple-tracking mind also reflected on that image of her ensconced in the rising steam and jetting water, liberally and fastidiously applying the relevant body wash to her skin.

Yes, Dr O. Very much a clean doctor.

Looks clean.

Smells clean.

Dresses clean.

She moves in a clean way.  A certain serenity and grace to her movements. Not awkward, not spasmodic, but flowing. A clean, unpolluted river.

Thus, whilst in our early interactions I found that gentle cotton-scent one of which I approved, that the fresh fragrance which draped behind her as she occasionally moved about the room at the beginning and end of our sessions was one of which I endorsed and the absence of anything being out of place on her, no smudges, no marks, no creases, no stains were all matters which gained my ratification I always wanted to know.

Where lay the filth?

 

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133 Comments

  1. Normal Guy: “nice ass”
    Psychopath Guy: “I like me a clean dr” after he has mentally evaluated her bathing routine.

    No wonder I always get with the psychopaths

    1. Well at least we are spared the details of HG’s picturing and describing Dr O’s brand , style and colour of underwear . I struggle to understand the visualisation of her pyjamas . Why , oh why cotton white blue gingham (:? She might be not that old to wear such a boring nightwear, seriously.

        1. We don’t have the same retailer stores in Australia so I cannot understand your reply, HG . Cotton, linen and silk are the best choices for nightwear. I only found the white blue gingham pattern uninspiring contrary to the white silk set ( classy) regardless the price tag.

    2. Haha, Ann so true! I never thought about the cleanliness being a narc thing now I know so many have this in common. The ex N was this way also. Neat, clean, nothing ever out of order. I’m the same way (not on his level though) so I guess I understand the attraction. My kid’s dad was a slob so I guess it’s not every narc.

      1. My son’s father, who is a Middle Midranger has “Clinical OCD”, and very obsessed with cleanliness. The other Narcissist I have been with were very meticulous about cleanliness where people would notice (clothes, car, office, etc) and slobs at home.
        My comment was in regards with how typical men are biologically shallow with their attraction to women. Psychopaths/Sociopaths are more predatory, and are more detailed to why they choose their victims. Usually though, these traits/strengths about the victims are what the Psychopaths complains about when they discard their victims, so it’s never a compliment.

  2. I had the funniest image in my head awhile ago that made me laugh but what if Dr. O has a bed full of dogs at home 😄

  3. HG thanks for the tip about closing the shower doors and letting the water run for 15 minutes to kill bacteria . I always let the hot water run and the open the shower door to air out. Anyways it sounds that Dr. O has great hygiene and sounds attractive, but I think that it should be standard for Everyone ,especially when in the same room with people. I really like the way you described it through your writing detailed and Intriguing. I love your work !

  4. This cleanliness topic ive come across with a loved one and stems from trauma and is a form of ocd. Basically ptsd and anxiety. I cant speak for you HG but for my loved one that is the case. They were obsessed with cleanliness to the point they were afraid to touch surfaces in public areas. Washing hands continually. Fear of getting sick and obsessing over it. They would only use their own bathroom.
    HG i do wonder if this cleanliness of women stems from being violated sexually by a woman at a young age? Sexual assualt makes a victim feel dirty i know bc im one as well. You want pureness bc that means less threatening and you can feel attraction for them. Of course part of it can be a somatic thing where you just appreciate physical perfection but i suspect it goes deeper than that and is psychological.
    As far as Dr. O im reassessing my opinion of her bc A. Im reading about her only and have never met her and B. What ive read could be an altered perception of the reality of the situation.
    If what im reading is accurate she is not being professional. I suspect shes a dirty empath and is more concerned with herself than the therapy of her client smh

  5. Hlw hg tudor you are brilliant I always read all of your blogs since all of your blogs are brilliant. My narcissist had been blocked me one week ago and I was calling him constantly he told me why I’m calling him like that and he also said that it is fine if I’m always blocked on all of his social media whenever he wish he will call me. And then he blocked me. After that I’ve pleaded, begged texted him constantly 2 days. But he didn’t respond but I found he is checking on imo account my last seen and visited my profile. After 2 days I didn’t texted any messages. But I found since I’m blocked till now but he is visiting my chat conversation checking my last seen and visiting my profile. I think he is a greater narcissist according to your article. I’ve not blocked him yet but I desperately want to know was it a hoover?

    1. Thank you Raisa.

      Yes it was a Hoover. I doubt he is a Greater Narcissist. Use the Narc Detector Consultation to know for certain and you need to consult with me to impose a proper no contact regime.

        1. It is unlikely and the appropriate approach is to utilise my expertise and the provision of evidence through the Narc Detector Consultation.

          1. But I’m really curious to know he hoovered me 4 days ago but if I responded now to his hoover what can he do now with me?

  6. Very excellent article. I look forward to reading more about these two women and your pursuit of them.

  7. This article is quite triggering for me.

    Perhaps because of early conversation with the narc. Things I haven’t thought about in a while.

    Not sure I’m going to be able to handle this whole SM vs Dr. O thing…

    1. Empath I was having some very triggering thoughts myself! I don’t know how many times today I have bypassed the comments on this thread. I just keep telling my self they are ghosts and feelings from the past and that is where they must stay! If you need to stay away from this one, well then do it. If you want to be involved, remember, you have HG and all of us standing all around you sweetie. 🥰

      1. Thank you Fool Me. I appreciate you very much. I will hopefully be making the decision that’s best for me ❤️

    2. Empath 007 this is all too much to deal with for me as well. It’s all new to me. The day I was waiting to receive the news if my husband is a narc or not from HG. I remember when I got a notification that there is the email I wanted to throw up. I listened to HGs voice and his voice put me at ease. He confirmed it. My world is upside down ! I am trying maybe not hard enough. I need to educate myself and read more about this disorder through HGs work so I can strengthen my knowledge . I just keeping asking myself why ? Hugs

      1. Pati, now that you know do you feel relieved? All of the chaos up to this point finally has a name. All of your insecurities that your husband has made you feel is not because of you, it’s because you’re married to a narcissist. It’s a long road but every day gets better. Just keep reading and learning and posting. We are all here for you.

        1. Mercy ,I do feel a sense of relief yes that I do know,but I am shattered in pieces .I was looking at my wedding photos,baby pictures of my kids,vacations and I am torn. I thought I was going crazy with my insecurities . I know I will never be good enough for him . I just cant face the fact that these human beings pretend to love,pretend to care I thought he loved me How can someone go through life this way ? How can a human being treat people this way? Thank you and I am here for everyone too including HG

          1. Pati, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I think we’ve all experienced that crushed feeling at some point. It’s devastating! Do you still live with him?

          2. Pati, I hope you consult with HG some more. I know getting out probably seems impossible right now. Just keep educating yourself and you will gain the strength to do what’s right for you. Take care

      2. That’s heavy Pati. That’s such a large chunck is your life and with the person you share it with. I’m sorry for your loss (of who you thought your husband was) must be devastating.

        1. Empath 007 yes it is extremely devastating! 23 years of marriage was a lie or should I say is still a lie. I still cant face it ! He is the father of my children and he treats them well. He has never ever yelled at them or hit them. He hugs and kisses them and tells them he loves them . Is that a lie too? 😑thank you empath007 your sweet.

          1. You know… we each have our own experinces of people… abusers are not abusive to everyone and that can be such a difficult thing to grasp. It only makes you more confused because I’m sure over the years you have used the excuse that he is a good father… so therefore he can not be an abuser… it also must be painful to think “why me?” “Why am I the subject of his abuse?”

            I can’t answer those questions for you but i can only say your experiences are real and valid.

            It is OK to let your children have a good image of thier father. And it is also OK that you know a different side to him and are hurt and confused by all of that. You have the right to your own experience even if it differs from your kids.

            You matter. Your feelings matter.

            And I hope you can come to the conclusions you are looking for and heal.

          2. Thank you empath007. I am trying to heal. I just wanted to say I think you are very intelligent with your answers to this Blog. You and FYC have been more than nice to me .FM1T also warned me about the Narcissist on this blog Brutal Truth (Pamela) so I really appreciate all the Empaths here. We need to stick together!

  8. HG although I’m not going to share my daily showering routine with you, I will keep that private. I have noticed with the involvement I have had with narcissists over the years, cleanliness, and worrying about germs is something they have all had in common, from my father making sure the water I washed the dishes in was so hot I could barely stand putting my hands in it. In fact there were times when it was so hot I had to hold back tears ( something I was not allowed do ) for fear of him seeing them. To my ex narc having the shower water so hot, that the first time he pulled me in the shower with him, I screamed it was so hot! Have you found that in dealing with different narcissists over the years this is a trait they all seem to have? If so do you have any idea why? Is it because they believe themselves to be dirty and are trying to wash the dirt from within them away? I hope I have explained this so that you understand what I am asking.

          1. Thank you HG I understand the paranoia, I will have to think about the triangulation. Not because I’m dumb, but because I’m sure it has probably been something I have just always seen as normal behavior before finding you.

      1. I worked for a germophobe N. Using hand sanitizer in front of you after shaking your hand has the added bonus of making you feel dirty and less than. What a prick!

        1. Ah, but that is on you. If he wants to use a hand sanitiser because that suits him, let him. If you know you are clean and you are hands are washed, you know that, he does not. Leave him to his hygiene and be confident in your own.

          1. Ugh, you’re correct. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent! He was still a prick though. I used to make jokes with my coworkers about sneaking in his office and licking his phone when I had a cold! Not very empathic of me, eh?

        2. I think it is incredibly rude MB! I often shake people’s hands at work, but it’s an expectation that I wash before leaving the room. I think about it though—I’m very aware of the timing due to not making it appear too sudden. He lacked the thoughtfulness of waiting in my opinion.

          1. I can understand the hand washing in a healthcare situation. He’s a narcissist. He has no thoughtfulness for others!

            HG is correct though. Him being a germophobe doesn’t make me dirty.

            Well…I am dirty, but that’s another matter!

          2. You aren’t dirty, your nails and toes are too nice. Now —I’m walking into the dungeon of germs. Wish me luck. I really want to take it easy today and play on here.

          3. Thank you Lorelei. Good luck in the dungeon of germs. If we see you pop in, we will know it’s an easy day!

          4. It’s easy enough—I’ve been walking laps trying to get 10 miles in today. In circles.

    1. Mine showered hot, too. His skin suffered for it but that did not change his compulsion . . . his compulsion to control his environment, to keep certain things off or out.

    2. Mine was a germophobe as well…. and then yet…. had the messiest apartment. It was gross (to me) he would actually clean it all up for me at first to “impress” me. More like… mirror me… anyways… triggering thoughts. A germophobe though he was in other ways.

          1. Yuck. Why does the handyman have to raise so many suspicions? He’s really handy. Like magic.

          2. I like his brand of illusion. He’s done thousands of dollars of repairs for less than a blow job.

  9. Pingback: The Cleanliness of Dr O ⋆ NarcTopia
  10. Legionnaires’s pneumonia is less common by far than the propensity one may have to suffer from many other ailments. Is the plumbing in your dungeons infested? I don’t understand the almost Howard Hughes level concern.

    1. No, but it is a potential risk when you go away travelling as much as I do (and The Shieldmaiden does). There is no point running the risk with this simple precaution as one is too important to be laid low.

      1. Smart HG ,since you travel so.much I dont mean to pry and I do apologize if I did, but I travel a lot and my doctor recommended the twinrix vaccine for hepatitis A And B just a suggestion.

      2. Dear Mr Tudor,
        But do you wear “flip flops” in the shower, wipe the basin, glasswear, coffee cups n toilet seat
        Hotels are riddled with filth, particularly the bedspread/ duna 😱
        Then there’s the tv remote, phone n menu 😱
        I used to work in the industry!
        People are disgusting with their hygiene,(men rarely wash their hands after a pee) that’s why I absolutely HATE shaking hands with strangers
        I try to go the supermarket at quiet times, people cough, sneeze n splutter everywhere
        Very rarely do I use public loos
        No wonder so many get sick and diseases have made a comeback
        Don’t get me started on hospitals 😷
        I shower twice a day, after your excellent clean article, I think I need another one
        The filth lays in ones dirty mind …..you naughty boy 🤣
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      3. HG, I see that the topic of cleanliness has been hit. I have in my mind a very precise description of what you look like, what you do, so on… the HG of my mind. hahaha. I would love to know if you are somatic? Is that something you would be willing to answer for me. Just so I can add that to my puzzle that is you :)

    2. It is a major pet peeve of mine when the shower is run for any length of time prior to stepping into it. I would also think the humidity caused by doing so would increase the airborne presence of LD?!

      1. I am more worried about the amount of wasted water. 15 minutes letting water run is a luxury.

          1. In the debated instance, true, but in the wider sense, I disagree, you are here and thus you know plenty.

    3. Spot on Lorelei!
      I am an avid germaphobe as well, I never leave the house without antibacterial wipes and hand sanitizer, I am that person who will wipe their seat and surrounding as far as they board when I travel, the hotel room and bathroom .
      But trying to live in a sterile environment actually does more harm than good to your immune system.
      You cannot built a resistance in a sterile environment.

          1. Just be glad you don’t have a job like the common people such as myself where you have to wash before and after peeing! It’s so tedious! I actually notice when someone is clean and not dirty! It’s like a treat!

  11. Love this post, it makes me feel deeply understood. I just came home from a trip today and went straight to the bathroom, ready for my lengthy shower, complete with body peeling and hair mask. Afterwards I finished off with ice cold water, closing my pores and reviving my spirits. Yesterday, I did the same thing after a very long sunday walk and was met with confusion, given that we intended to go out later anyways. There’s no such thing as too much cleanliness in my mind and I like to think about other peoples morning routines as well. No doubt Dr. O’s also includes peelings of several kind although I do enjoy eau de parfum as the cherry on top.
    I remember you stating that Dr. E stood for “Earnest”, but I can’t find a similar descripition for Dr. O. Will we have to wait and see? I certainly find it telling that she chose to anglicise her name, a mortal sin in my book and a sign of either insecurity or insincerity.

    1. Desiree, my doctor also anglicized his name. He has one of these long European names that most Americans find impossible to pronounce. He changed it for reasons of practicality and a closer bond with his patients, although many of us call him Dr. A for simplicity. So, in his case, I don’t think it was for the two reasons you mentioned above but I have seen many people feeling that way and changing their names accordingly. I’m the opposite, I like to torture Americans with my name haha.

    2. God I took a shower as soon as I got home from the cess-pool of filth I work in! My clothes come off in the garage and go in a bag. I love my work but it’s filthy.

    3. I am afraid your finding is incorrect, Desiree. Not many native English speakers can pronounce correctly my Slavic names; sometimes is funny, sometimes is irritating.
      I didn’t anglicise my names but it saves me time when I buy a take away coffee to tell the staff a random English name rather to explain how to spell correctly mine , let alone to pronounce it .
      For the same reasons many Asian people in Australia had anglicised their fist names .

      Nothing to do with the self esteem or being sincere . In fact, I have heard in number of occasions Asian fellow being asked “ What’s your English name ? “ and the comments like this , after introducing themselves:
      “ Umm, what was , sorry I can’t pronounce it .
      Cheers

      1. Claire,
        my observation was based on how HG described her and her reaction to him knowing her real name, not that this is the case with absolutely everbody.

        1. No worries Desiree🙂 we don’t know Dr O anyway, I have seen many migrants who are ashamed of their roots and many others who are proud.

    4. Desirée—I use two to thee different soaps depending on the body part (face vs. feet etc) and my mood! Sometimes I end up leaving stubbles though and one time I embarrassed my girls because I had on no sleeves and they felt there was a shadow of stubble visible from my underarm. I had to keep my arm down and was really self conscious. They also don’t want to be seen with me unless I’m put together, yoga pants embarrass them. I enjoy yoga pants and Target t-shirts and I’m under increased pressure not to humiliate them.

      1. Lorelei
        Using different soaps for body and face is a good idea. I like to double cleanse my face. Start with an oil cleanser on dry skin, then rinse and repeat with a foaming cleanser and an oscillating brush.
        As for the yoga pants, don’t your girls know that the LBP (little black pant) is a classic fashion staple for casual wear? That’s what Audrey Hepburn said. Pair it with heeled boots, a flowy tunic and one of those navy ponchos they currently sell at Walmart. If they still don’t understand, yell something like “Navy is the new neutral!” and keep on struttin’.

        1. Walmart poncho? Attach a link. I have some new Tory Burch boots I love—hilarious how I have a new oscillating brush too but haven’t used it! Skin is oily but I found a nice powder that is working. Someone on here suggested a nice retinol serum I got off amazon and I think it may be helping my face. I love Caress soap.

          1. Desirée—I hate Walmart more than I hate my ex husband. Yet, I needed 10lb weights, furnace filters, and a rotisserie chicken the other day! Well, who has all items within 5 min?! I’m there twice a week at times, and then not for a few months. We have Target but they don’t have the same robust inventory. I’ll check out the link. I am not above buying anything from anywhere. By the way—I’m getting really cute Tory earrings off eBay (new) for nothing and Chanel earrings (vintage) are plentiful on eBay. Everyone notices. Try Lorac lip products too—-I got some of their gloss and five girls at work asked what I had on and have since acquired the products. It’s not like I walked in holding the gloss—it was just so good it stood out enough for people to ask. It’s spreading like a virus now because of course all their friends are buying it. I need a kick back from Lorac! Their eyeshadow isn’t good though—I prefer Tarte.

          2. What do you think this is Knowing the Personal Shopper? Desist. Get thee to WalMart and deal with a clean up in aisle 15!

          3. Haha—listen this is the deal. I need a rotisserie chicken and work out gear. I can’t order my fresh chicken on Amazon. It’s a no brainer. I’m not against them. I bought a lovely hose reel for $85! It’s this—the bathrooms aren’t fit to piss on the floor. Dirty. The employees are always half helpful always stating whether or not they are “on the clock.” Depending on the Walmart there may or may not be diapers on the parking lot ground. It’s like scooter derby in the aisles. It’s sucks and I know you’ve been there Mr. Elite.

          4. Whole Foods is better but it’s decent when traveling to Florida, although I’m not a Florida fan overall. It’s ok, but I’ve been quite a few times and it’s luster is worn down.

          5. Lorelei
            I have no experience with ponchos but I think it is supposed to have a roomy fit so you can wear additional clothing underneath. Otherwise I’d recommend ordering XS and checking the length. As for the Retinol, the best treatment on the market by far is from a brand called Dr. Dennis Gross, but it is also the most expensive. Other than that, the brand called “The Ordinary” makes excellent and quite effective Skincare that is very reasonably priced.

          6. I’ll look it up. Is it a higher grade? Why is it better? I need Botox on my forehead. I always think of Martha Stewart in her post prison poncho her cell mate friend made. Her attempt to look “humble” and “one of the gang.” She’s such a narc.

          7. Ok I just have to say, for rotisserie chicken: BJ’s is cooked right there where you can see it, it’s hot, plump, and you can’t beat the price.

            HG, how do you know about Publix? It’s a Florida store.

          8. Let me think? I shopped there when I was living in Florida for a few months. Every time I went there I got asked to record people’s voicemail greeting.

          9. I had no idea you ever lived in Florida. I’m guessing they loved your accent and voice? I’ve got to love you for recording voicemail greetings for strangers at a grocery store!

          10. Well, you know now. Yes they did and everybody was very friendly and when I spoke they would express delight at my stentorian voice and ask me to record their voicemail greeting. Being the generous man I am, I of course obliged. After I got their number.

          11. Press 0 and someone will be with you shortly.
            Thank you for holding press 1 for this and 2 for that. Lol!!!-

          12. But wasn’t the POTUS commenter a political Truther of some sort? Lorelei and I are just having a lovely Tea Party.

          13. I’m not a huge political commenter anyway—I tend to view that different people have different views for different reasons and aligning heavily with one school of thought lends to narrow minded idiocy. Have you seen to pro Trump or pro (former) Obama die hards on FB (for instance)? Oh my gosh. Not as intellectual as they think. Amusing though.

          14. I was joking it reminded me of potus because it strayed off the topic of narcissism. But if shopping is therapy, I can see how it ties in. I think if you want to stir up a narcissists passion for shopping though, it’ll have to be about the quality of the threads at Neiman Marcus or Lord & Taylor, and how much you shelled out for it, not saved, lol.

      1. But I was just trying to answer the question that HG makes at the bottom line, after going in detail over all the details of Dr. O’s pristine habits: “Where lay the filth?”

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