The Constant Farmer
Farmers are hard workers. The share similarities with our kind. We plough a singular furrow through life, unwavering and determined. Their lives are full yet they never really have time or opportunity to connect fully with other people because they have so many demands. They till the field and broadcast the seed, tending to the various crops as they watch and wait allowing the barley or corn, the potatoes or beet to grow to the optimum position before moving quickly to harvest them whilst the sun shines and they can garner the very best from their endeavours. Once a particular harvest has been safely gathered in, they once would burn the stubble and what had been built up was now cut down and razed to the ground so that it returned to the earth. Animals need to be fed, mucked out, treated for disease and tended to when they give birth to new offspring. Buildings must be maintained, fences repaired, the weather watched and produce sold. Cows have to be milked, sheep shorn and pigs sold to bring home the bacon. Lambing time is a repeated battle to ensure the lambs are safely delivered with the farmer rising through the night to assist a particular ewe who may be struggling with her birth. Having helped bring forth the lamb, from the ewe being tupped, to giving birth, the lamb is then sent for slaughter. Again, that which he has built must be destroyed. It is a repeated and endless cycle, much like that which we adopt.
It is the tenth day of a silent treatment. I have removed all contact with you and left you concerned, anxious and bewildered. It is the fourth silent treatment in as many months and each one becomes longer than the one before. You have yet to work and understand what this signifies and fortunately for me you are engaged in trying to work out what is wrong and trying still to contact me. Your repeated messages and telephone calls all provide me with the negative fuel as I envisage you sat there, worried and unsettled as you tap in another text message pleading with me to get in contact with you. I picture you lying awake at night, repeatedly glancing at your ‘phone in the hope that it will light up with a response from me. You wonder what I am doing during this absence and because of who you are, your thoughts are based on concern. Have I fallen ill or something worse? Have I suffered some bad news and become depressed? Have I become a recluse? Your enquiries of my friends have proven fruitless but then they would since my coterie and Lieutenants have all been briefed that you have been horrible to me and therefore they should not respond in any helpful fashion. You hit a brick wall of resistance which puzzles you all the more. The rolled-eyes as a lieutenant shakes his head and hurries away from you as you halt your approach with confusion gripping you. You wonder whether I am locked away somewhere, engulfed in grief. In fact, I am busy hoovering your predecessor who I had just subjected to a lengthy silent period. My time away from you is not spent playing video games, watching cable television or sleeping. Not at all. Just like the farmer, I am busy tending to my crops. I am contacting all my various secondary sources of fuel, giving them a blast of golden sunshine so that their attraction to me does not wane. A few drinks with one set of inner circle friends, some flirtatious text messages with some remotes strangers and drinks with an outer circle friend who is a serious candidate for promotion to an intimate partner if I should tire completely of you and your predecessor. I am sowing the seeds, repairing the fences, milking the cows and shearing the sheep. So much to do. I am also applying my endeavours to the hoover on your predecessor and this is occupying my time as I apologise to her for my period of silence. I explain that I needed to be alone, to assess where my life was leading me and I am sorry I disappeared without saying anything but it just descended on me. I realised I had to change but I wanted to make sure that this was a real, deep-seated desire, not some butterfly like passing fancy and that was why I was gone for so long. I have trotted out the speech before and it is invariably successful and I see no reason why it will not be now. This will result in your silent treatment continuing beyond the tenth day as I take your predecessor back into the fold. I will hopefully be spending the night with her tonight as she has already agreed to dinner, although I will be taking her somewhere you will not find us. I do not want you knowing about her, not yet anyway. I need to safely gather this harvest in before I can boast about how many bushels I have collected. Once she has been hoovered back in I will announce our reconciliation. You will probably learn about it when you look again at my Facebook page for signs of activity. I know you are doing this activity every day, that is why I have not blocked you but there is nothing being posted, so the silence continues. It won’t for much longer and you will learn about her and I being together again, which will of course prompt a large dose of negative fuel from you once you learn of this.
Of course at some point it will be necessary to sow the seeds of seduction with you once again. You are on the cusp of having the flame applied to what remains of your relationship as I erase you, just as fire did to those cropped crops in the past. I will too busy showing off my prize animal, grooming it and feeding it, so it grows strong and plump, the envy of all those who are observing. How does he do it? What is his secret? How does he always manage to find such a prize specimen and make it his? The awards and accolades will pile up, testimony to the excellent stock that I have acquired until it is such time to lead her to the slaughter and cast her to one side, just as I have been nurturing the growth of your crop once again, watering you and allowing hot, golden sunshine to play on you once again.
This is how it is. You may think this silence is one where I am just away from you either ill, isolated or in contemplation. I am not. I am busy with your predecessor, just like the farmer who always has something to attend to. The days roll by, the seasons come and go, but both the farmer and I have work to attend to as we grow and harvest. We are so similar. We both have crops and flocks. We both grow, nurture and develop. We both slaughter. We both harvest. We are the constant farmers.
14 thoughts on “The Constant Farmer”
Yes, you are both ‘constant farmers’. And you both have a faint smell of horseshit about you as well.
You mean roses.
No HG, I don’t.
Ah, you are mistaken then, WN.
…and by the way, I mean no offence to real farmers at all. Farmers are industrious and hardworking and provide great things for us all.
Farmers are great! Even those of us who occasionally smell like horseshit. (I love the smell of horses and goats).
I agree njfilly. I think farmers are great too and I have a lot of respect for what they do. My comment about horseshit was inconsiderate to farmers and I apologise.
On behalf of all farmers; we do not take offense to that. 🙂
Thank you njfilly, that is very generous of you and I appreciate your kind comment.
On further thought, although HG has made a thought-provoking analogy between narcissists and farmers, I don’t think narcissists are like farmers at all. In fact, I think they are fundamentally very different.
Farmers who actually ‘do’ the farming are hardworking and diligent – they are not entitled or too proud to get their own hands dirty and to learn from their own mistakes when necessary. Farmers have a purpose that is outside of their personal need to get fuel or control. Farmers appreciate the needs of the environment, animals and plants, while also appreciating that the same environment, animals and plants will put food on the table and enable society to have produce.
While it’s a good analogy in some ways, the comparison between narcissists and farmers is also very unfair to farmers in some respects.
Thank you for that thoughtful analogy and your respectful supportive comments about farmers. It was very interesting to read; and of course, I agree. But I am somewhat biased when it comes to farmers. It is very hard work and the rewards are great-although not financially. With some exceptions to that with very large farms and some horse farms.
I have a good analogy to narcissists. Two weeks ago I was in an accident going 70 MPH on the highway. My car was hit and rolled onto it’s side and slid down the highway before landing on it’s roof. The accident was not my fault (of course-but really it wasn’t) and there was chaos everywhere. Many state troopers and firemen (which I enjoyed-I love men in uniform), traffic backed up for miles and another accident occurring due to mine. The witnesses where horrified. I was upside down, unbuckled my seat belt and crawled out the broken driver side window completely unhurt. I literally could have left the scene and walked home; although the police would not allow me to. I thought about the chaotic scene all around me and how I was the least affected by it-just like a narcissist.
My friends say I am ‘bad ass’ and they are correct. I’m hard to kill, despite having received some serious injuries on multiple occasions! I hope you have a great day!
You’re welcome and wow, that must have been a frightening experience to have your car drive off the highway, roll and then land on it’s roof! You ARE bad ass! It’s a good thing you could just walk away without being harmed.
Yes, that’s what narcissists actually enjoy – creating drama and chaos and then standing back to delight in what ‘they’ have created. They are a joke, when you think about it. They target a person who is naturally more sensitive or honest or vulnerable and then they feel proud of themselves and superior at being able to manipulate that person’s emotions. Yeah, they’re *so* powerful lol
I hope you have a great day too 😊
Do you ever have to replenish or exchange the people in your coterie or your Lieutenants? How is it they never become aware of the repeated patterns of your relationships? They never question your version of events? Or do they just not care?
I read somewhere that psychopaths have to relocate once they become known to the people around them which is inevitable. Do you agree?
Farmers are very hard workers.
1. Occasionally there is a changing of the guard.
2. If you read Smeared this will help you understand more about the mentality of The Coterie and Lieutenants.
3. Not necessarily.
4. Yes they are.
This is exactly as I envision the silent treatment, behind the scenes . It is also the perfect escape time. I know I’ve been swimming strongly for land again. I’m further to reaching shore this time.
Hoovers will go ignored. Time to flip this one upside down.
The trashy girl hes been spinning up…that’s where he needs to stay.
He never has deserved me to begin with.
Back to swimming, feeling strong….