This Is No Contact
You achieve freedom by not entering onto our battlefield. It is OUR battlefield where we make (up) the rules and you think you know what they are, but they change and shift moment to moment.
Get off the battlefield. Go no contact by getting No Contact.
9 thoughts on “This Is No Contact”
HG, he choked my neck, covered my mouth at the same time and hurt me. Is he sadistic.
I need to do No Contact. I don’t know why I think of him.
Not on the evidence presented. If you wish to discuss this further Whitney, I recommend you arrange a consultation.
Thank you HG 💙😪 I can’t afford now
I wonder how you know he’s not sadistic when he hurts me. I believe you- for fuel and not sadism.
The other ones never hurt me.
I’m talking to my Geyser Magnet friend and I’m worse because she doesn’t understand narcissism
HG I could interact with the UMR Elite instead. Because I’m addicted to narcissists and the UMR Elite doesn’t hurt me. He treats me like a child he’s proud of
Dear HG, dear everyone;
This is my debut on the blog, I hope I shall be welcomed. I would like extend sincere gratitude to HG for the work that he does.
I’ve been in an off-again, on-again relationship with this person for 15 years, and now I see that he’s a textbook case: irresistible charm, huge social circle of admirers, grandiosity, womanizing, sense of entitlement, magnificent façade, completely in love with himself, silent treatments, ghosting/submarining/hoovering me over and over, no empathy whatsoever, little to no interest in my life, absolutely no accountability etc., etc. I thought it was a beautiful lifelong love story (with him telling me he loves me, there’s nobody like me who makes him feel like I do, how we are connected forever etc.) but also struggled to understand why his behavior hurts me and whether it is I who is to blame.
A couple of months ago I finally admitted to him that his chatting up other women online hurts my feelings and I don’t know how to go on – to which he replied furiously, blaming ME for making him angry and disengaging from me (on my birthday, no less). I didn’t get in touch afterwards but couldn’t bring myself to block him yet (even though I have already found your blog, HG; and FINALLY figured out who he was – a classical Narcissist). He regularly looked at my stories on Facebook and Instagram, and a couple of weeks ago posted about the car accident that left him slightly bruised – to which he got zero direct fuel from me (he expected me to get in touch and feel pity for him, I know). Last week around his birthday I noticed he has now blocked me on FB and IG – wouldn’t be the first time (and clearly a punishment, knowing I will look there around the time of his B-day and be very hurt; but he left FB messenger, WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn etc unblocked).
On top of all the useful and insightful information I got by that time from reading your blog and listening to your audio files, it was the last tiny push I needed to go No Contact and purge him completely. I now swiftly blocked him on my phone, Facebook Messenger, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, deleted all the photos, messages, videos, audios we shared (he never gave me a single gift, so that was an easy part). I am proud of myself and feel SO MUCH BETTER after having done so – thanks to you, thanks to the detailed description of correct GoSo & NC principles I learnt from you and all the insight into the mind of N. I should have done it years ago, but I honestly had no idea who I was dealing with. You helped me open my eyes and let go of something that was fake to begin with.
Welcome Dolores and thank you for your appreciative comments, I am pleased my work has proven so useful for you.
Welcome Dolores Haze
The education here is superlative and I hope you enjoy your stay.
I know I know – I need to go proper no contact. Doing this to myself. It’s only me I need to look after.
However much I try to avoid – he is popping up all over social media with new shiny websites advertising his wares, like he was never sacked from the last place, like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. Now has 5-6 outlets for his work. He’s conned them into providing space and advertising for him. How can he reinvent himself so easily and no one ask questions about why he was kicked out of the previous place? Smaller, less monitored, lower key venues. More room for him to get away with things.
Frustrated. I want to warn them and know I can’t.
How long will it last this time before it all crumbles?