Dr O Vs The Shieldmaiden – Part Two

DR O Vs THE SHIELDMAIDEN PART TWO

The Shieldmaiden is my Intimate Partner Primary Source. Dr O is one of the good doctors involved in my therapy. Dr O is jealous of The Shield Maiden. In order to understand the root of this jealousy, we need to go back in time…..

It was in the first few months of my engagement with the good doctors and it was a cold, sharp day in London. When I had risen, a fog shrouded the streets, chilly, damp and clinging to the city like a desperate Mid Range Narcissist issuing a Preventative Hoover. By the time I was making my way through the streets towards my early appointment with Dr O, the fog has dissipated and the morning sun was making its presence felt. The air remained cold, bringing out the array of gloves, scarves and hats turning all those around me into slabs of grey, dark brown and black. There was little colour, just stern faces staring out from beneath a knitted hat or an unsmiling mouth edging above a scarf wrapped about the neck.

I swapped the stern faces of the pedestrians on the cold street, for the solitary stern expression of Dr O as she sat reviewing her Book Of HG, before her.

“A long list,” she remarked.

At her request, I had detailed my various relationships, of an intimate nature and those who stained the status of primary source. The exalted, the idealised, the list of those who I selected to sit at my left hand. It had taken a little time to go through the list as I named each individual, stating their first names only, watching the pen of Dr O as she made a note of each individual, listed in order from the very first, Sarah, through to current, Jane. I waited until she had written each name down, each member of the Asylum of the Grotesque taken from their alcove in that chamber and brought to temporary life here in the consulting room of Dr O. Once a name had been committed to the paper of her book, I moved on to the next name, methodical, measured memories.

“I like to pack a lot in,” I replied by way of response to her observation.

Dr O continued to regard the list. She was assessing the list of names, the V, the K, the H, the As (a few of those) , the Es (couple of those as well) and the Ss, quite a number of Ss, though that did of course make sense. She was impressed by my prodigious endeavours, her comment of it being a long list bore testament to that.

“You remembered each of their names, in order and without correction or hesitation,” she remarked.

“Correct.”

“Do you regularly recite the list in order to ensure that you can recall it correctly?” she asked. Her tone suggested curiosity as opposed to judgement.

“No.”

She nodded, her lower lip emerging slightly. I noticed that her lip gloss was a little brighter day, moving more towards scarlet. Of course, she wanted me to notice. The scarlet harlot, well, accurately she would be the second scarlet harlot, Becky was the first Not Rebecca, not Becca, certainly not Becci, but Becky. At least she was Becky in the first six months and then for the final two months she became Rebecca, Becca and most often Becci.

“Do you think often about these individuals then, in order to recall them so accurately?” asked Dr O.

I knew she would be fascinated by this list of the IPPSs, who could fail to be. An array of exhibits from the asylum, traitors all of them. Nearly all.

“No. I put them from my mind,” I answered.

“Why is that?” she asked, “does.the list mean….” but Dr O halted herself. This was how I knew that Dr O was struggling to maintain that air of clear, clinical composure. She could not help but want to suggest the answer to me. Her air of superiority bubbling to the surface. She wanted to impress me and wanted to demonstrate that she was beginning to understand me and thus she would start to suggest an explanation for my behaviour, my views or an answer. So far, she had managed to rein herself in, halting her provision of the suggested answer as she fought to maintain an open-mind and not to lead me. Not that she could ever lead me. That is what I do. Question was, would I lead her up the garden path or lead her to enlightenment?

“Does the list mean?” I ventured. Let her be swiftly reminded of her failing, a little provocation so she knows who is control here.

“Sorry,” Ah there it was. Control.

“Sorry,” she said, “why do you put them from your mind?”

“They are irrelevant.”

“Why?”

“Because they do not matter.”

“Why do they not matter?” she asked.

“They are not important.”

“Why do you say they are not important?” Dr O pressed.

I knew she would keep going. I found her challenge amusing. I wanted to continue this little dance. Becky liked to dance. Becci wasn’t allowed to dance.

“They have no significance to me.” I responded.

“But they did once?” she said quickly.

I paused and looked at Dr O. She looked back at me. She was sat about a metre from me, not far at all. I could smell her fragrance. Clean Classic, I was certain of it. Had to be Clean Classic, most likely Simply Clean, I could discern the bergamot. An unpretentious day scent for her and very much in keeping with her hygienic and clean appearance. Hardly the most expensive of scents, but that did not matter. It fitted with the image and no doubt she had carefully considered that. She selected a linear scent so she would smell just as clean by the end of the day as she did now. Of course, she knew to dab and never rub. Y made the mistake of rubbing. Clown.

I considered commenting on her scent but that was too obvious. She would see that as deflection and I was better than that. I decided I would answer her question but I would not give her what she wanted. I wanted to ascertain just how engaged she was. Not in terms of her dedication to unravelling the mysteries of HG, Lord no, she was hooked on that, that was easy. No, instead, I wanted her to be engaged beyond the professional. Ensnaring her professionally was the simplest of tasks and hardly the mark of one such as I to stop there. No, I wanted, needed? No, wanted her to engage with me. To want me. Not what she thought I was, but what she learned I am.

“They had some significance, that has to be right, ” I replied, “after all, I would not have chosen them would I?”

“Would you not have done so?”

“No. I would not have done so,” I answered slowly.

“So, they were all significant. To begin with.”

“To begin with.”

“And now they are irrelevant?” she returned to the question.

“Yes, they are irrelevant.”

“Why are they irrelevant?” Round and round we go. Easy.

I was about to continue the merry-go-round but then Dr O jumped in. No respecter of boundaries is Dr O, as shall be demonstrated.

“Or perhaps you do not know?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. I saw in her eyes that she felt that she had landed a blow by believing that I would react to her challenging my omniscient nature. Nice try Dr O.

“I know.” But I am not adding anything more. You need to ask. Signal to me that control remains with me.

I fall silent. She remains silent. She looks at me. I stare back and offer nothing but the emptiness. Let her look upon oblivion. For a moment.

It works and she glances down at the list with a slight shift in her seat, before she looks back up.

“How do you know they are irrelevant?” she asks. Thank you, control remains mine so now she can have an answer.

“They are of no use to me, therefore they become irrelevant. Prior to that they were of use to me, therefore they had relevance,” I explain. Dr O makes a note.

“I see,” she comments, “and it is you that determines that they are irrelevant, they do not make that decision?” she asks.

“Correct.”

“So you deemed them irrelevant because they become of no use to you.”

I nod. Her questioning has picked up pace now, she feels like she is getting somewhere and it is affecting her pacing.

“So once they become irrelevant you cast them to one side?”

“Disengage from them.” I correct her.

“Disengage them then,” she adjusts her terminology.

“That is right,” I confirm. I wonder if she will seek clarification about this. I expect her to, she is interested.

“Always?” she asks. Excellent, she has not disappointed. Unlike those in the asylum, on the list.

“Not always.”

“Not always?” she repeats my comment. She is buying herself time to think of her next question. Schoolgirl. I will hep her out. It is a good day, I had refused an invitation of Matrinarc earlier so I can afford some largesse for the good Dr O.

“Nearly always I deem them irrelevant and disengage from them, but very occasionally, very occasionally, they might make themselves irrelevant without me disengaging from them.”

“By leaving you?” she asks. Well done Dr O. Bitch.

“Yes.”

“How many left you?”

“Tried to leave or actually left?”

“Actually left?”

“Actually left and returned?” I queried.

“No, actually left and never returned.”

“Three,” I say immediately.

Dr O nods as if she knew this already. She did not. She makes another note.

“So, the The Three That Got Away ?”

“You could describe them that way, yes.”

“Are they relevant?” she asks. I can feel my irritation rising now as the memory of those three traitors flares inside my mind. Time to stamp it out.

“No, they are not.”

“Why is that? Surely they remain relevant because they escaped you?” she presses.

“Their escape and failure to return makes them irrelevant.” I say clearly.

“You deem them irrelevant?”

” I do so because they are.”

Dr O pauses and makes another note.

“Do you ever think about them?” she asks.

We are not going there.

“No, save when someone or something has to remind me of them, otherwise, no, they do not invade my consciousness.”

“How easy is it to keep them from your mind?” she asks.

“Very simple. I am about the here and now, not the past, certainly not the past. I am much more interested in the present since that is where we are and that is what we can deal with. Don’t you agree?”

Dr O ignores my question. I stifle a smile because I know she will now want to embrace the present.

“And,” she hesitates for effect as she looks down the list, pretending that she does not know who the current girlfriend actually is, such a giveaway. She is interested. Excellent, “the present is….Jane?”

“No.”

“No?” More buying of time.

“Well, she is around, she is alive and breathing, she is the current girlfriend, but I do not regard her as the immediate present.”

“You do not? Since when has she not been your present?”

“Since I began talking to you,” I reply. Dr O simply nods. There is no dismissive response, no rejection of the suggestion but instead acceptance and that acceptance is underlined by the fact she writes down what I have just said to her. It was then, back then, those years ago, with Jane in devaluation, that the commencement of the interest of Dr O was first established. The seeds of envy were broadcast in that consulting room, that cold, cold November day and they fell on fertile ground. Clean, fertile ground.

I knew then, that something would grow and grow it did.

(To learn more about the Three That Got Away use the link and gain inside knowledge about some of the missing denizens of the Asylum of the Grotesque.)

231 thoughts on “Dr O Vs The Shieldmaiden – Part Two

  1. Foreigner74 says:

    “A fog shrouded the streets, chilly, damp and clinging to the city like a desperate Mid Range Narcissist issuing a Preventative Hoover”. I can’t stop laughing! Great!

  2. Desirée says:

    Putting on fragrance and rubbing it in is definitely a mortal sin. Y deserved what was coming.
    A fascinating read, both this and the bonus material.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Glad you enjoyed it Desiree.

  3. emc2gion says:

    Thankyou for sharing HG. The three that got away, tragic, well written. Dots joined, including seeing patterns of behaviour similar in my own journey as similar to these women. I could say more but won’t risk spoiling for others.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Emc2gion. Precisely, there is more to it than just the recall of the events in themselves.

  4. Witch says:

    So I read the 3 that got away and KMFT
    I hope you get robbed HG, just for the inconvenience

  5. Esther says:

    Ah you are so cool 😎❤️ HG! So intriguing haha i am buying the book! 🙂

  6. Jen says:

    Any way to get donations for “The three that got away”? I am someone who got away physically but not mentally. Thats the tricky part. Its forever in your head.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      I would think any donations would be better spent towards a consultation for self (need) rather than a curiosity for others (want). Especially when there is a waiting list. Just me?

      1. Jaya says:

        NarcAngel, my eyebrows went up through my hairline at your comment, then I laughed. Shows how we all interpret things through our own filters.
        I read Jen’s comment as seeking answers, much as I was.
        I was desperate to read The Three to learn how escape looks from the narc point of view, from real life examples (need) to apply to my own situation. Three got away – from HG! – it can be done! My heart rejoiced and I had hope for myself. What made HG leave them alone?? I purchased before I knew the stories included Karen’s departure (want). I’ve wanted to know what happened to her for such a long time. Sadder than I imagined.
        Jen, the stories will not give you any more insight into how evict the narc from your headspace unfortunately. They simply (?!) emphasise what HG has taught us – Get Out Stay Out, Once you know you go; NO CONTACT.
        Congratulations on the physical separation and best wishes for reaching No Impact. That’s my destination too.

      2. NarcAngel says:

        I should clarify as I see that could be read differently than I intended.

        I meant donations used towards a consultation for someone’s specific situation such as leaving a violent domestic situation, dealing with children, needing help navigation through divorce court, assistance with dealing with narcissists in the workplace so that you do not lose your job, etc, (this is what I saw as need) as opposed to satisfying a curiosity about what happened to HG’s previous girlfriends (which I saw as want or an interest, and something that might be investigated a little further along). I did not mean that I would spend the money on myself rather than donate.

        The funds are limited and there is a waiting list. HG has a protocol in place and of course people are free to donate as they please. Opinions will differ I suppose on what is ranked need or want. Or perhaps it doesn’t matter to most. I just wondered.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are correct NA. An application for AAF Assistance to access that particular material, fascinating and instructive as it is, would rank behind applications for other services.

          1. NarcAngel says:

            HG

            “You are correct NA. An application for AAF Assistance to access that particular material, fascinating and instructive as it is, would rank behind applications for other services.”

            I believed that to be the case, but thank you for confirming it to remove any doubts one might have regarding the protocol.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Pleasure.

    2. mommypino says:

      Hi Jen, HG’s book Exorcism: Purging the Narcissist from Heart and Soul will be more appropriate for you than “The Three that Got Away.” It is available on Amazon.

  7. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    Question: NOT regarding this article or any other articles, but about something that has been bothering me for months, and I may as well inquire here: Relationships fail everyday. Even without either partner being a Narcissist. HG seems to be in a prison to me… Where, I feel that some readers are saying: if his relationship fails, it would not have failed, if he were not a Narcissist. Do I have this right? If so, what is the reason that relationships do fail that do not have narcissists involved? I am not sure if the situation that HG is being placed in is called a double bind or not, but I do feel something is very odd about how he is judged versus how everyone else is judged regarding whether or not their relationships fail or succeed. When his relationship is succeeding, many want his partner still to be taken away from him, and when they think it is failing, it is only because it his fault they suggest, as if women are never at fault to make a relationship fail with him, or something like that is suggested. Is he saying this as well overtly or latently? Do I have this right? I am NOT speaking of any articles that he is written, but it is something that is on my mind. Am I right about this, or do I have it all wrong? And is this how HG sees it as well? That the women that he selects are perfect, and any non narcissist would have a permanent relationship with them? That it is always his fault, if a relationship does not work out. And is this possibly true? And that his relationships never have any of other factors that bring about failure in non narcissist relationships? That there in never a possibility of overlap, that some of his relationship could have failed even if he were not a Narcissist? And is it possible to know this either way? Whose fault is it when a relationship without Narcissists does not work out? How do we always know the difference for him? Then what? I am confused. Please help me out. Anyone. I am just trying to understand. Thank you. My GOSO is fortunately for me in full effect. My question has nothing to do with my situation, nor any desire to go back to `Narcville.` Just in case somewhat thinks that.

  8. njfilly says:

    I just read The 3 That Got Away. I’m speechless.

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Good, huh?

      1. njfilly says:

        Beyond good!

    2. WhoCares says:

      njfilly,

      That was my response too. I’m thankful and sad to have read a bit of their stories, but mostly speechless.

      1. njfilly says:

        Yes, very sad.

  9. mollyb5 says:

    I guess I need to buy this ?

  10. mollyb5 says:

    HG. I have a hard time thinking you would ever go to a therapist that’s young , or even younger than you . I think those pics you have used to depict the two woman are not that close to reality. The SM is blonde and fairly young on IG but a therapist who would be knowledgeable of Narcism , or even knowing how to treat one is rare.

    I have noticed that many therapist in my area are now putting on their qualifications and specializations that they also specialize in Narcism. It’s a selling point now !

    I would never have a “kid” just out of college a few years relate to people who have lived more life with more life experiences ? HG ? Would you ? This of course, would depend on their methods and referrals. I’m not saying young ones aren’t good …some may actually “now” be more understanding of Narcism .

    1. njfilly says:

      I had the same thought that both doctors treating him must be older, experienced, and have some seniority.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        That’s ageism. Seniority is not equal to knowledge and expertise. I’m not addressing you in particular, njfilly, just posted it here to follow the thread. In my field, many older people have given up and get accommodated and lose interest in being innovative and inquisitive. In my previous job, I shared an office with an older lady who had an inferior rank to mine, but because she was significantly older, everyone treated her with more respect and authority than they did to me and that bothered me. I guess that’s something that time will straighten up, but it’s not fair.

        1. njfilly says:

          SweetP: Good point. What is your field? I believe most people in authority positions must have experience; but then they could reach the point of decline and lack innovation. I agree it’s unfair that a position should be based upon age alone rather than expertise.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Exactly, and I also think it’s very unfair to assume Dr. O is the apprentice/intern of any of the other two doctors because she’s younger and a female. It could be true but it could be totally wrong. I prefer not to say what I do for a living but much of it has to do with dealing with misogynistic old dudes that would question your knowledge for those two reasons I just mentioned.

          2. njfilly says:

            Fair enough. Personally, I didn’t think Dr. O was an intern or apprentice, which is part of what I meant in my original comment. I assumed she would have some greater experience or seniority. Also I agree with the original comment that it might be difficult to have a very young therapist with little life experience counsel somebody older on such a complex issue. But then again, I know nothing about these professions. Also, I only know of one other doctor; Dr. E. Thank you for your response.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Njfilly, thanks for your answer too. That idea of having more experience because of age… I don’t know really. When it comes to the subject of narcissism, if you don’t know what you are dealing with, you can be a professional for many years and still not be close to understanding. I just found out about narcs last year, after being targeted by one. All my previous experience with relationships didn’t help me at all. Actually, many young doctors are more reliable because they use new approaches. If you think about it, Dr. O would be the best one to call for narcissistic abuse since she is better prepared than any older doc who has not read HG’s books!

          4. njfilly says:

            Generally speaking, experience comes with the length of time in any profession. The variety of the experiences you have within that profession during a longer period of time add to your knowledge and understanding of it.

            I agree with you that concerning the subject of narcissism, it appears as a specialty subject that requires it’s own knowledge base. I only just found out about it earlier this year. I am in the process of taking a narc detector as I am certain my father is one. Next I will take one concerning my mother as I believe she is one as well. I believe, for me, my previous relationship experience did actually help me when I had my narc relationship as I already had some boundaries in place I was comfortable with that helped; although I did allow him to push those boundaries beyond what I should have, until I finally escaped.

            Young doctors may be more reliable on this subject not only because of new approaches, as you suggested, but also it appears to be gaining notoriety lately (although perhaps not as much as it should be) and young doctors might be more interested in what appears in the main stream.

            As for Dr. O being the best one to call for narcissistic abuse; has she read Mr. Tudor’s books? I don’t think she understood them. She is better prepared? I don’t think I agree with that. Not yet anyway. Although she might be eventually, as soon as she experiences it first hand. But I think she may be unavailable as she is possibly about to be ensnared! Personally, I might try Dr. E myself.

          5. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Njfilly, I was joking about her being the best prepared doctor, I said that only because she has read HG’s books. I wouldn’t try Dr O of Dr E, I don’t need any doctor for this.

          6. njfilly says:

            Very funny!

    2. FYC says:

      If I were to guess, I would think Dr. E is older. The tone of his retold conversations is a bit condescending and dismissive. I would guess Dr. O is closer in age or possible younger. The tone of her retold conversations is more tentative and hesitant. I had wondered if Dr. O is Dr. E’s protege or perhaps a newer person to the practice. Since HG did not seek out therapy, but is accommodating a leveraged demand, and since the good doctors were chosen for him (I recall one being a lieutenant), I would imagine HG would ‘go along’ but would ultimately maneuver the situation to his advantage/satisfaction.

      1. FYC says:

        To clarify, I remember HG somewhere on the blog saying one of the good doctors is a Matrinarc lieutenant. HG, please correct me if I am wrong and apologies apply in that case. I searched but could not find the quote.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          FYC, yes, I was the surprising blonde (younger than the other colleagues) that happened to know her shit, as in Legally Blonde hahaha! Don’t worry, I understood your comment. It’s true being younger she could be a starting doctor but maybe she’s just super brilliant, that’s all. But I don’t think you have any sexist or biased mentality at all from all I have read from you until now, I just wanted to share my point of view.

          1. Pati says:

            SP, perhaps she moved her way into this position if you know what I mean

          2. FYC says:

            Thanks, SP, I am always glad when you share your POV😘 Not sure I agree with the brilliant part regarding Dr. O. I have not seen evidence of that yet. I have known many people with PhDs and it does not guarantee brilliance. Brilliance lies within the individual and not their degree. I guess we will know more soon about Dr. O. It will be interesting to see where this goes.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            “I have known many people with PhDs and it does not guarantee brilliance.” Ahhh, ahhh!!! Enough said.

      2. Sweetest Perfection says:

        FYC, I agree on your last sentence, but he would do that with anyone, be it a younger person or Hugh -Hefner old.

        1. FYC says:

          Hi SP, Haha, no doubt true, but I doubt anyone *that* old is practicing–Hugh Hefner=dead!
          As to your comment on discrimination, I agree. Many have preconceived notions about age and gender (and like you, I have dealt with both). Some people will use any excuse to dismiss others to assuage their egos. Kind of reminds me of HG’s dwarf/giant metaphor. I would say intelligence and knowledge is age irrelevant, and in business, it can be an advantage to be underestimated. I am sure you surprise those who dare discount you. My earlier comment was only referring to communication style.

      3. Pati says:

        FYC, I am assuming the Tudor family must have done their research for picking this doctor. She must be good at what she does,perhaps a little to good who knows . I do see that she asked a lot of questions regarding his girlfriends and would like to know more about HG, because she is interested and jeaulous, at the same time,but she is doing i it nto a sneaky way to make it look like its professional. This is my opinion but j coild be wrong.

        1. FYC says:

          Hi Pati, Given what HG has shared with us thus far, I doubt researching the best doctor was a goal for HG’s Matrinarc. Given her drive/need for control, she would likely choose doctors that, to her perception, deliver a good measure of control and provide her an advantage (she presumes). I would guess the Matrinarc wanted HG to go to therapy solely out of her desire for control and to facilitate her facade management.

          1. Pati says:

            Maybe your right ,but I still think she would pick the best since shes paying for it. Who’s knows let’s wait and see what goes on with Dr. O and what she has up her sleeve we need to dead some action lol

          2. FYC says:

            I’m sure pedigree is not at issue. I just think her definition of “best” is very different from an empaths, and her motivation is driven by her narcissism.

          3. Pati says:

            Yes FYC
            When Narcissist collide, this is going to interesting. I think they fuelling each other .
            I hope its get intense.

      4. FYC: In addition, And from what I understand, as a Matrinarc, she would also think that she is a good person doing a very good thing, as well. Because Mid Rangers often feel that they are good people with good motives for their children, and are largely unaware of themselves and their Narcissism in the familial dynamic. So likewise, when she is vetting a good doctor for her son, she would fail to understand that she is largely looking for someone malleable to strengthening her own facade, and coping and control mechanisms regarding him. I am glad that he is able to squeeze some good out of it all for himself, it seems, despite the overall reality of the situation.

        1. FYC says:

          PSE, I would guess from what HG has shared to date, that his Matrinarc is an upper midrange N. Not entirely deluded–more aware, but still operating from instinct. In the retold interactions of Matrinarc, she seems to put on a facade of charm and ‘goodness’ for others when it serves her (facade management), but not for the family unless as a manipulation or to defend her interests (since HG would be viewed as an extension of herself). I may be jaded though, and not objective (since I have a midrange N parent). I have not seen evidence yet of Matrinarc trying to give HG the best care, only evidence that she believes she knows best and would select the best pedigree for appearances to support her own facade and aims. Of course, I could be wrong.

          1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

            FYC: Yes. That is why I said, largely, Largely Unaware, but, yes you are right. There is a spectrum, of course. And the Schools and Cadres are definitely a weak point with me, and I know this. Thank you for your reply, FYC.

          2. FYC says:

            No worries PSE. I appreciate the conversation.

  11. Lori says:

    I’m no expert but it would appear to me by this article that there will be no different outcome with this relationship with Shieldmaiden because the same patterns are already occurring. You were so hopeful at the beginning that this would work because you had some level of awareness ? Was that the “This time it will work” aspect of the cycle ? Are you still hopeful it will work out ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      We shall have to see. I don’t rely on hope. It is working.

      1. Gab says:

        Haha, people will kill me but I have to say, I am already a bit bored with all that sweetness in your relationship and I can’t want for the devaluation. Well I don’t want her to get hurt but jeez everyone loves a little bit of drama from time to time!!!

        1. WhoCares says:

          Gab,

          “Well I don’t want her to get hurt but jeez everyone loves a little bit of drama from time to time!!!”

          Therein lies part of the problem. Solid relationships aren’t supposed to be dramatic. I had enough “drama” with my narc to last a lifetime and have never been so thankful to be drama-free.

          HG – I’m glad it’s working; for the SM’s sake and yours.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            You are correct.

            Normal, healthy relationships (from the majority perspective) are not a form of entertainment. However, so many of you have been conned into thinking that they should be.

          2. njfilly says:

            I agree with you. I hope it works for them, particularly for Shield Maiden’s sake as she is the one who will be hurt. Very deeply I assume.

            I like excitement and intensity in my life too, but I can satisfy that need outside of my relationships. Although nobody wants their relationship to be boring they do not appear to be bored. Anyway, how can Mr. HG Tudor be boring?

      2. Lori says:

        Ok this is an honest question how can it be working you are already triangulating which would suggest that the cycle is beginning again. Do I have that wrong ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You have that wrong.

        2. Lori says:

          How so? Man HG I’m rooting for you and your progress but as an outsider looking on, it appears the pathology is taking over again. When you first started posting it seemed like you wouldn’t even entertain the thought of triangulation her with someone as you were just smitten. I really do hope I’m wrong. I want to believe that whole you may never be 100 percent cured, you are cured enough to have an s maintain somewhat of a normal relationship. I sure am hoping so for you.

          The empath in me is always hopeful that there is a cure at least for some of you

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Where is the triangulation? You are not analysing the situation correctly.

            I am triangulating The Shieldmaiden towards Dr O.
            I am not triangulating Dr O towards The Shieldmaiden.

            See the difference?

          2. Pati says:

            Boy I do. Let’s see the outcome with this one

  12. Kiki says:

    Hi HG
    A wonderful piece of work
    I haven’t been on the blog in awhile due to work pressure but also a feeling of being free.
    I really really think I am cured of the narc.
    It is a brilliant feeling and would never have happened if I hadn’t been here , my turning point was when I came here.

    I see manipulation now very clearly it becomes glaringly obvious to me.
    I’m stronger , smarter and my emotional energy is only provided to those who care for me .

    I want to thank you HG you are amazing

    Kiki

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you and you are welcome.

      1. Kiki says:

        Thank you HG I will never forget where I learned this ,I recommend you to those who are ready and open minded minded
        I wish I could advocate your work on a greater scale because you are the ONLY answer that eventually gives us peace

        Love you and respect you ( no I’m not an obsessive crazy fan lol) xxxx Kiki

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you, Kiki.

          1. Michele Renn says:

            ( ) <——- what lies between

  13. Pati says:

    If you people can you need to READ this . It was absolutely mind blowing and ……I cant say just read .

  14. Chihuahuamum says:

    I recieved the 3 who got away and enjoyed it altho sad. A bit confused over the first ones escape.
    Karen well i wont comment to spoil but very sad.
    The second one i hope is doing well and happier.
    I found the rain very symbolic in many ways. Sadly it wont wash the stains on the soul that can only be done one way. The conscience is always there but buried very deep in narcissists.

  15. Gypsy Heart says:

    The three that got away WAS MINDBLOWING. It was like warching the ending to a movie or series and being completely unsettled by the end and not being able to sleep. I made the mistake of waiting to read this after id taken my shower and got ready for bed. Had to occupy my mind with something else before I could sleep! OH HG!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for reading, it is powerful work and answers many questions readers have.

    2. Pati says:

      Thank you for sharing a part of your life with The Three That Got Away .I wont say too much about it . But I will.say you are an awesome writer and deep down inside you are a very interesting man ,and there is something unique,and different about you .

    3. MB says:

      Gypsy, I know what you mean. I’m sorry you were affected that way too. I’m better today. It took some doing, but it’s securely stuffed now.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        MB,
        It was still with me this morning. I was so affected by the first one that I had to put it down for awhile and then go back to it. I finally got through it but man oh man that was a tough read!

  16. Claire says:

    “a fog shrouded the streets, chilly, damp and clinging to the city like a desperate Mid Range Narcissist issuing a Preventative Hoover“ I really love that paragraph😂! Glad I was not the only one who noticed the unsmiling and unfriendly faces in the majority of the population during my visit in London, it was in January. My ex Narc perfectly blended in the background, by the way.

    I really wonder why some women are so keen to pursue a relationship with a man who have slept with hundred of women ( nothing personal, HG, no matter if your number is higher or lower) . To prove themselves how unique they are , how breathtaking their bedroom skills are, to achieve what? Money and status are not equal to happiness nor to a great sex. Neither the handsome, gorgeous physique is equal to nirvana in the bedroom( or whatever location one prefer for copulating) .
    You cannot tame a tiger – my favourite book as a child was one for the big cats – lions, tigers, panthers, etc. The authors of the book were scientist and they wrote that the tiger was the only wild cat that cannot be tamed in the same manner like the other big cats . That’s because the tiger was the only big cat that his feral nature would prevail years after proper training without any abuse .
    Same analogy with a man with a long list of ex girlfriends, ex flings, ex friends with benefits , etc.
    A huge red / black flag and my personal big turn off.
    You cannot expect a healthy relationship with such an individual . And healthy not only on emotional level but also in physical and spiritual level.

    And the same conception but in very , very different way we can find in the Christianity – the disapproval of fornication.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Some are narcissists ensnared by another, others succumb to the allure of the narcissist owing to their addiction and the force of emotional thinking.

      1. Claire says:

        Many thanks for the clarification, HG.
        I was in my early 20’s when I was seduced by a popular man with long list of exes. The naive and emotionally thinking younger version of me wanted to be the One for him. A lot of passion and drama, out of the blue proposal. I rejected because I did realise that maybe after an year or two he would continue to entertain himself with new ladies as he did during his both previous marriages,Kinda one of yours. I remembered our turbulent long relationship when I was reading your article for the Ageing Narcissist, in particular, the Somatic one, although he was still in excellent shape back then in his late 40’s .

      2. lisk says:

        And some narcs do a good job of hiding their “popularity.”

        When I first met my Narcx, I was under the impression that he was rather dorky or nerdy and unlucky in love. He whined to me about how he had a losing streak after his divorce, when all the women he dated dumped him after two months. “No, no,” I told myself. “I will show him that I am loving and loyal and will stand by him.”

        Maybe I felt drawn to him in the same way someone chooses the runt from the litter as their pet.

        I didn’t realize until eight years later the extent of his fuel network.

        I’m sure I could have realized sooner—but my Emotional Thinking just would not let go of my original impression that he was a dorky good guy who just needed some loyal lovin’.

        Ugh.

        1. Chihuahuamum says:

          Hi lisk
          My narcs the same way but not as much from a pity play but moreso from a shy quiet angle. He said he has always been a shy sort and not as confidant with women. I think there is some truth to that but not entirely. He has mastered the art of being low profile to attract women but catering to their needs mainly married women. He never wants pity and actually gets turned off if you show him pity. Its like youre rubbing salt in wounds hed rather forget about. Rather he plays the card that he doesnt like to be in the spotlight and is a quiet guy. Online he is not quiet and boasts about provoking certain people who dont agree with him in regard to politics.

        2. Lisk: Your comment here:
          [ And some narcs do a good job of hiding their “popularity.”] Lisk, you are so right. I misjudged or misunderstood or whatever, the extensive popularity of the Narcississt that I became enamored with, until much later on. I had absolutely no idea that the guy has thousands of acquaintances to pull from, in just NYC alone, and this is no exaggeration. I was posting on Facebook until my No Contact and GOSO regimes, and I started becoming popular just for appearing in a few photos with him here and there, I figured out at some point. I was knighted by him, so to speak, without initially understanding why I had so many friend requests from both men and women all of a sudden, when 99 percent of my small number of FB contacts were always women, because of my mostly female type of interests that I would post about. Some men were thinking that if I were good enough to be in his photos, I must be vetted in some manner: Hahahaha. I never friended those guys, though. So true. So smart of some of them to hide their popularity from certain women. I had a Japanese Somatic gym instructor for one day, post GOSO, when the Japanese Somatic guy substituted for a gym class that I take, and I recognized that same sort of thing of hidden popularity, and I felt so embarrassed of the mistake I made previously. I saw it that time, at least. I am learning. I never even once allowed the Japanese male Somatic instructor to catch my eye. While I know now that he was searching all around for fuel in the class. I never saw him more than that one time, but at least I can spot some Red Flags now. Red Flags, people. Red Flags.

          1. lisk says:

            Red flags, indeed!

            And I can safely say that I would rather be wrong about a Red Flag and miss out on a potentially good guy than ignore a Red Flag and be with a narc ever again.

            PSE, did your ability to control the eye contact with Japanese male Somatic instructor make you feel empowered, not necessarily over him, but within yourself?

            I’ve been doing similar things with regard to male attention and it feels so good to have the ability to shut them down so quickly, especially when I am SURE I would have been flattered and desirous of that same attention in the past. I am actually enjoying staying out of trouble!

          2. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

            Lisk: I did not feel empowered, because I am still getting used to all of this. The Japanese Somatic was interesting to me. He is an outlier in the fitness world. And he was tall, and looked somewhat muscular (I think that genetically he has a classically slim looking build customary for his race, but he was surprisingly and impressively way stronger than he appeared), and he was super strong. Also, he played good music and was barking those commands out in a very thick (almost overly thick???) Japanese accent as if he were in an ancient Japanese War Lord movie. And he was singing some of the verses as he walked around us in the class in that accent. Singing to the Black Eyed Peas and Michael Jackson, etc. (In short, he worked his advantages of being an outlier male in a class of majority females – while still managing to carry himself in a `self unaware` sort of way. But, I know better now. He knew exactly how he was coming off. ) And he kept looking at me and even stood right in front of me for a while, but I did not fold. I pleasantly did not give any fuel whatsoever. He even helped me when I dropped a small weight (darn!) from the bar, and I was the only person he helped with anything during the entire class. I told HG`s reader, MB, about this incident on an older post somewhere, when I returned home. When the class was over, many females rushed and surrounded him to ask him about himself. lol. I too wanted to go over there and take a closer look myself, but I sadly and quietly walked away and put away all my equipment back to the appropriate area in the class and I left. I could feel that he was surprised that I did not join the throng of curious females, and I could see with my peripheral vision that he watched me leave, as he continued talking to the throng of interested and lively females. All the men in the class did not give him a second look, lol, and they all walked away when the class ended. I felt sad, but glad that I Did the right thing. And I did feel happier, Lisk, after I made it home. I have to practice doing the right thing from this point on until it feels natural more. But, it does not feel good as of yet. I had to starve my disappointed and curious Emotional Thinking. I guess I could compare my feeling to the way a person on a diet is told to put down immediately, without taking one bite of, that piece of delicious, homemade, hot apple pie ala mode, for their own benefit. So, it is not fun. But it is right. HG says we are naturally attracted to Narcissists, and they to us, and that situation that day showed me a sample of what HG is telling us: That particular gym class is a bit overly full of hostile personalities, so I am sure the Somatic guy could intuit that I was one of the empathic sort. Even the female somatic who teaches the class regularly has told me many times now, after class, that she loves the energy that I bring to that (hostile) class. I just lightly smile at her when she says this to me. Nothing more. I am not embracing Narcissists so easily like I once did, neither male nor female, now that I know. I am somewhat new to that class, because I had to change gyms because of my No Contact, regime. Anyway, so, it is nothing for us to become over overconfident about, when we resist. Because we will be tested over and over. I do not think it is fun, as of yet, anyway. Always Resisting, Lisk.

  17. WokeAF says:

    And that’s about when I’d have dyed my hair, sold my shit & moved to Portugal

  18. Elizabeth Tramo says:

    I just purchased this but how do I get it?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It will be sent to you through the wonders of the internet Elizabeth.

      1. SMH says:

        lol I was wondering the same thing. I never use PayPal and my cc has an address different from the one where I actually live. So it gets sent to email? And you cannot see who purchases it, HG? I mean I guess I don’t really care if you know who I am – I know YOU don’t care – but I’d like to continue to just be good old SMH anyway.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It is sent to the email used on Paypal, unless you specify elsewhere beforehand. Any information conveyed through the payment system is treated with the usual high standard of confidentiality.

  19. Pati says:

    No boundaries with Dr O , you certainly gained the control back from.her questions.

  20. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Wow. Wow. Wow. And wow! I’m giving you three woes for the shocking info we just got about your relationships, and an extra one for another piece of info I personally found extremely interesting. I won’t do any spoilers, so, people: go read it!!!! Totally worth it.

    1. MommyPino says:

      Sweetest Perfection I am just out of words. Thank you so much! I was not expecting it. You’re so amazingly sweet! Thank you so very much!! I love you SP!!!!

      I can’t wait to read it but I’m also scared of what might be there about Karen. I will read it tonight when it’s more quiet and the kids are already sleeping. Thank you Sweetest P!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I love you too, MP. Do you have a new puppy? That little face is adorable. I hope you enjoy it, don’t read it before going to bed or you will be mortified the whole night! Ok I said enough 😘

        1. MommyPino says:

          Thank you so much SP! I will pay it forward to the AA fund next week. I am really touched by your kindness. I’m really sure that I will enjoy it. I expect nothing less from HG. I have downloaded it and will read it later when I have less distractions. I was surprised to see one person in the list of escapees because she’s a Co-D but I am glad that she’s one of the three who got away.

          Yes we have a sweet little pup. She’s just so amazingly sweet and doesn’t bark and so amazingly easy with everything. She’s nine weeks old cockapoo and we got her from a rescue shelter. I have no idea how that shelter got these cockapoo puppies because they are usually quite expensive. But I’m so thankful that we have her in our family now and will be a part of our lives for many years.

          I hope that you have a wonderful weekend! 😘❤️

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Aww Mommypino, she’s so nice! Sometimes I miss having a dog I can hold in my arms instead of the 80 pond Godzilla we have, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world, he’s funny and mischievous and he makes us laugh. I miss having a puppy, though.

        2. MommyPino says:

          Hi SP,

          I just got done reading it. I’m really sad. I don’t really know what else I can say without spoiling it for others. It’s not what I was expecting. I have a lot of thoughts but I’ll just wait when HG opens the discussions for these three women. Thank you again SP. I’m glad that I got to read it sooner than later. 😘

          1. Lorelei says:

            Your puppy is adorable.

          2. MommyPino says:

            Thank you Lorelei! 😘

  21. Stella SHELF Unmaskers says:

    It seems very strange that a professional figure as dr O would have such thoughts about you despite her knowledge of how you treated your former appliances. How can you explain this, HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Emotional thinking.

      1. jessrnny says:

        Yes. It betrays us when your kind is around. Masks itself.

      2. Witch says:

        That and probably a sense of superiority, as in, she feels she has something more to offer than the other chicks. She needs to chill, It’s no joke being brought down to size by a narc

        1. HG Tudor says:

          The sense of superiority is through the narcissistic trait of pride which is hijacked by the ET

        2. jessrnny says:

          Well said. I’m glad people are recognizing this. She’ll take her lumps.

          1. lisk says:

            I certainly took mine.

      3. WokeAF says:

        So Dr O has ET

        Do narcissists have ET?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes, but it is different to that of empaths.

      4. SMH says:

        So Dr O is an empath, HG? I was wrong! Sob, sob. I so wanted her to be a narc.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You will have to wait and read.

          1. Pati says:

            She wants HG

  22. njfilly says:

    Dear Mr. HG Tudor,

    Excellent article. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I can’t wait for part three. I love the contrast between your blunt style of communication and your descriptive writing. (I may be repeating myself. I can’t remember).

    I do have a few questions, please, if you would answer:(I apologize but I ask many questions).

    1) What do you mean by “the V, the K, the H, the As…”? Is this in reference to their names or some other classification you have for them? Why would it make sense that there were many S’s?
    2) I don’t understand the references to the nicknames for Rebecca. Is this in an article somewhere?
    3) Have women ever physically fought over you? Just curious.

    I look forward to your response.
    Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

      1. Their names. Re Ss, you will have to wait and read.
      2. Have a think about that, NJFilly.
      3. Not to my knowledge, although they have fought over me in other ways.

      1. njfilly says:

        You are so mysterious, I love it! I would like to see Shield Maiden and Dr. O duke it out over you.-just kidding.

    2. SMH says:

      Njfilly, To my mind, HG’s names for Rebecca got more and more derogatory as she was devalued. Kind of like MM referring to Harry as “H” – a ‘pet’ name but one that infantilizes him, especially as she called him that it in public.

      1. SMH: Plus, we really do not know what the H really stands for to her privately, even though we are supposed to think logically that the H stands for Harry. She may be having a private joke with herself before the public, sort of hidden in plain sight.

        1. SMH says:

          Good point, PSE. Maybe it stands for Hairless (hair loss) or something like that.

      2. njfilly says:

        SMH: Thank you for your thoughts. I had considered that but I don’t see how those nicknames are derogatory, do you? I don’t follow the royals so I can’t comment on that.

        1. SMH says:

          njfilly, It’s the context: “At least she was Becky in the first six months and then for the final two months she became Rebecca, Becca and most often Becci.” These name changes (Becci?) follow the path of HG’s disengagement. MM referred to Harry as ‘H’ in public.

          1. njfilly says:

            Ok. Thanks for your response.

  23. Chihuahuamum says:

    Bought and looking forward to meeting these 3 escapees

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Time to buckle up, C-Mum!

      1. Pati says:

        I feel like I got off a roller coaster, still dizzy and lightheaded from the experience .

  24. jessrnny says:

    Wow. I just read the three that got away. Holy shit. Wasn’t expecting that. Very good read. I have so many questions.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Mind blowing isn’t it?

      1. jessrnny says:

        I see why you are always telling us not to ET. A good lesson in paying attention to your triggers. I’m in my feels regardless. Well done.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Exactly, I know what I am talking about, Jessrnny.

    2. FoolMe1Time says:

      Jess wasn’t it mind blowing?! Holy shit is right! I believe I have more questions now then I have had in the last four years.

      1. Pati says:

        FM1T, same here, it was great learning about his experiences in depth. Holy macaroni I cant believe it . I have learned a lot. HG is very talented .

  25. Liza says:

    May be Dr.O’s ET makes her believe that, since she knows what ignites your fury, and the different devaluation trigers, coupled with her knowlege as a mental health proffetional, it is possible for her and you de stay in a perpetual golden periode.

  26. Chihuahuamum says:

    I would say the 3 that got away were the most relevant of all bc they shattered ego and control. They were the unconquered. If theyd been conquered then theyd become irrelevant. The ego wants most what it cant have!
    Ive had to reel my judgements of Dr. O back in bc the story is from your perspective HG and it may be altered. You say Dr. O is envious and interested in you beyond patient doctor but how do we know this to be the true perception? Your ego would have you believe every person can be conquered but that isnt true. There will be some women that will see thru the grandiosity and be turned off or scared away by it. Maybe Dr. O is actually trying to figure you out or has and is doing her job? Her wearing short skirts and perfume to entice you is your perception. Npd is a fantasy life in many respects. The ego will lie to you and make you believe what it wants you to believe just as the compartmentalization of the 3 and the realization you were rejected has protected the ego.
    Im holding off my judgement of Dr. O. At first i disliked her a lot but i need to take a step back and realise this is from a narcissists perception. She may not be envious at all but then again maybe theres truth to it.

    Going to read about the 3 who chose to leave…

  27. FoolMe1Time says:

    HG,
    Thank you for allowing me the privilege of reading The Three That Got Away. You are an amazing and gifted writer! This is definitely worth purchasing! 💞

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you FM1T. Secrets galore in that material.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        Omg HG! I was so surprised at how much information you revealed in that material. I have read it twice already, and each time I have to read it through a waterfall of tears!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed FM1T, I have told readers they will get to know everything and this is foreshadowing much of what is to come. The Karen Questioners have to read it, it is a necessity.

          1. FoolMe1Time says:

            You caught me so far off guard on this one HG! I would never in a million years have expected to see what was in that material today. There is information in here that will clear a lot of questions up that people have been asking since the start of the blog! I have never read any other work of yours that is more revealing then this piece. I hope everyone has the opportunity to purchase it.

          2. Lorelei says:

            Lordy I wasn’t really that invested until seeing your comments Foolme. I’ll have to read it on my next flight. I’m more excited about red accessories in my overly green (wrong paint faux pas) bathroom! Which do I do first? Visit Amazon for red ceramics or paypal!?

          3. FoolMe1Time says:

            PayPal!

          4. Lorelei says:

            Foolme—I am browsing a few people I slept with on LinkedIn. I feel like they are all narcissists. At least they have jobs! Can’t sleep with a person if they aren’t on LinkedIn—it’s criteria.

          5. FoolMe1Time says:

            You shouldn’t be looking up any one anywhere! The chances of them being narcissists are great, if they are past bedroom interests, but then you already know that don’t you Lorelei?

          6. Lorelei says:

            We looked because the one was really lovely and we were talking about something related to local government which he is involved in. I KNOW.

          7. FoolMe1Time says:

            If you know don’t do it. It doesn’t matter how lovely he is! 🤦🏼‍♀️

          8. Lorelei says:

            I’m not—it was an oral sex story OK. With his wife—where I sucked at it. We were giggling over how the Cosmo article fixed my skills. We talked about all sorts of things. My friend knows the technique so she read the same article!

          9. FoolMe1Time says:

            I’m happy you got that all sorted out.

          10. Lorelei says:

            We laughed over comparing oral
            sex to flowers for probably 10 minutes. I feel like a potty mouth.

          11. HG Tudor says:

            Outrageous!

          12. Lorelei says:

            It’s outrageous yes but it was a real article written in a reputable publication and we discussed it. Intellectually of course.

          13. FYC says:

            “The Karen Questioners have to read it, it is a necessity.”

            Absolutely, HG. I NEVER expected that to be the story. So very sad. I found all three accounts very interesting. My heart goes out to those in your past who truly sought to love you, and to you as well, for not experiencing shared love and forever seeking fuel. Very enlightening. Thank you for sharing.

          14. HG Tudor says:

            You’re welcome

          15. Jaya says:

            Absolutely other Karen Questioners need to read this. I’ve often wondered what became of her and how she came to escape you. I imagined various scenarios but could never have guessed the actual case. Truth is stranger than fiction.. Everything really is extreme in your life isn’t it HG? I could never have guessed the other 2 escapes either.
            Thank you for so many answers and providing mesmerising snapshots of your life. I’m so glad I purchased this, even if it left me dazed and reeling reading it.
            You’ve provided a lot of detail which could identify you HG. Are you ‘coming out’ soon??
            Thank you for this!

          16. lisk says:

            Jaya—I got the same impression: that one day there might be a big reveal.

            I won’t describe the nature of it here, because it would involve discussion of some of the details in the purchased piece.

          17. MommyPino says:

            I’m one of the Karen Questioners. I will most definitely get this but maybe not until Monday because I have to drive to Walmart to put cash on my PayPal and we will lose power tomorrow. I’m really excited!

          18. Chihuahuamum says:

            Hi mommypino…hope you dont lose power for too long.

          19. WokeAF says:

            MP I live on a little island in the Pacific (BC) abd we lost power for TEN DAYS last year over Xmas. Got a wood stove door the first couple were fine (nothing unusual ) but TEN?! It followed a crazy windstorm – trees down on 95% of our roads ( taking the powerlines with them)

            I shipped the kid off to his sister’s in the city (off island) and hunkered down w my dog in a little bachelorette in town a friend let me use for days 3-10. Best Xmas I’ve had in ages as all bets were off for presents, dinner etc and I got to be kid free/ slept in on Xmas day even. Was quite the adventure.

            I’ve missed why you’re losing power?

            HG I’ve paid the invoice – just about drooling in anticipation here

          20. MommyPino says:

            Hi Chihuahua mum, thank you! I hope so too.

            Hi WAF,
            OMG ten days!? That’s insane! But I’m glad it turned out to be a great experience for you. Sometimes a drastic change in our routines can be like a mental and emotional vacation and it could be fun as well if we have an open mind to it like you did.

            I’m not really that well informed but from what I have been hearing from different people, PG&E was being sued for the fires 🔥 here in Cali because they weren’t maintaining their power lines and facilities very well. Instead they give out a lot of dividends to their shareholders. So now strong winds knock down their electric lines and cause wild fires. 3-4 years ago our neighbor, a ranch that is less than half a mile from our house had a PG&E line that was knocked down by the wind and it burned so many houses in different counties. It was a miracle for us that the wind was blowing on the other direction so the fire didn’t go to our property. I have a friend who lost her house. Some people died. So many people got evacuated but we got to stay home. We also lost our power for a week. It was weird how the sky was so beautiful and orange and red and pink colors while all of the catastrophe was happening. So now PG&E turns the power off whenever they predict that there will be strong winds to prevent fire because they are getting bankrupt from all of the lawsuits.

          21. MommyPino: I was thinking that you may have been in Cali. when you mentioned no power, but I did not know if you had disclosed your locality, and I did not want to mention that, and I was hoping that I was wrong, but I was not wrong, so I hope all stays well with your family. I was watching some of the wildfire press conferences on youtube yesterday. The ones with the professional sign language person. I know that in NYC, that when the media bring on the profesional sign language people during a press conference, something very very bad is usually happening. What a situation. And the official explanations over there sure have a lot of logical holes in them.

          22. MommyPino says:

            Thank you PSE. You’re right, there’s a lot of holes in the explanations. I hope that they come up with solutions. We just went on a train ride in Sacramento. They didn’t lose power because they have SMUD instead of PG&E even though the winds here are pretty strong here in Sac too. We will get gas while we’re here because gas stations are also closed where we live.

          23. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Mommypino, I’m thinking about you. Is everything OK?

          24. MommyPino: Yes. Get that Gas. And for those with electric cars, they were having huge problems. Although Tesla, at least, was bringing and setting up large charging stations spread throughout the areas for their own clients to charge up. Other companies, not so much. It is so unbelievable. Huzzah for Tesla, though. Be careful out there. I heard Sonoma wine country took a big hit. Those people better have fire insurance. I will follow the news.

      2. Pati says:

        That you for letting us in your secrets you have defintely confided in us in one way or another . More than you will realise

    2. Alexissmith2016 says:

      Aggghhh noooooo! I have to wait before purchasing these! Don’t tease I may go into anaphylactic shock

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        Alexis no! Why do you have to wait? I’m telling you this is a must read!

      2. FoolMe1Time says:

        HG can I purchase and have you send it to Alexis?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          If you wish

          1. FoolMe1Time says:

            You know my situation right now HG. Alexis has been on here a long time and she needs to read this!! Besides what you charged for this piece was not what this piece was worth! I feel like I took advantage of you! I want to pay it forward HG. Invoice me please.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Done

          3. FoolMe1Time says:

            Sent

          4. FoolMe1Time says:

            I hope my reply went through? If not then yes HG I wish to do that please. Invoice me please.

  28. MB says:

    I have my theory. Of course it remains to be seen but I’ll throw it out there for funsies if HG wants to post it.

    Dr O becomes HGs DLS during the time that Kim is in devaluation. Nobody could know they were carrying on like rabbits. Can you imagine Matrinarc’s reaction to learning THAT news? Anyway, after HGs disengagement from Kim and he’s using IPSS’s and DLSs (her) to fill the fuel gap, she thinks the path is cleared to be crowned the new IPPS. (No doubt HG is encouraging these thoughts with future faking.) Of course this could never be allowed to happen. The Shieldmaiden was crowned instead. The GP commenced and Dr. O (and all other intimate shelf appliances) were shelved due to HGs GP chastity. Dr O naturally became jealous as all get out. Who could blame her?

    1. FoolMe1Time says:

      Very good MB! I don’t think HG ever allows it to get that far. I believe he gains far more by perhaps dangling that carrot in front of the Drs. face.

  29. MB says:

    I’ve just finished reading the bonus material ‘The Three That Got Away’. Let’s just say it will be satisfying to any truth seekers that haven’t ordered it yet.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Very much the case MB. You were first out of the gate to purchase it too.

      1. MB says:

        I told you, I can make a Tudor purchase in 3.9 seconds! I might have beat my own personal record this time. Beautiful writing HG. I’m truly moved.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you MB.

  30. SMH says:

    HG, Minor matter but it is ‘rein herself in,’ not ‘reign herself in.’ Otherwise, this is fascinating. I don’t know how I missed the first part, but I did. Read it now, though not all the related links. I think Dr O is a mid-range narc. Your description of the perfume convinced me, as did the questions she asked, which she already knew the answers to. She is trying to get fuel from you and you are withholding it, or holding it just out of reach + you have SM’s fuel. She is envious rather than jealous per se. Well, now I am writing myself into knots so I guess I will have to wait…(with bated rather than baited breath).

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The curse of autocorrect. Thanks.

    2. lisk says:

      SMH—

      Interesting about withholding fuel from a fellow narc. You just made me realize that my Narcx had that exact dynamic with a former colleague of his, a colleague who he was triangulating me with.

      Whether or not it’s true in HG’s situation with Dr. O, I thank you helping me realize this about my past. Very clarifying.

      1. SMH says:

        Lisk, You’re welcome. Glad it helped. My thinking was that since HG is a Greater, if Dr O is a mid-ranger then HG knows what she is and how to manipulate her, whereas the same cannot be said for Dr O. I was a bit stumped about the fuel issue in Dr O’s case, unless she also wants SM’s fuel? But I thought that was too convoluted. We’ll have to wait to see how the triangulation plays out. It’s like a murder mystery!

  31. mollyb5 says:

    Hg, Do you want Dr O to be jealous Of SM ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Read and find out.

    2. Pati says:

      Great article, I need to purchase the three that got away
      I have learned something though . Dont rub your perfume just dab .

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Yes you do Pati and it’s all education here.

        1. Pati says:

          I will thank you

        2. Pati says:

          I just made payment

  32. FYC says:

    I have a feeling you will put Dr. “N”O in her place, HG, but for now, I look forward to learning from the story as it unfolds.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

    2. lisk says:

      Who *doesn’t* he put in their place?!

  33. Barbara-Ann says:

    Hmmmm. ..I would trust that both HG and TGDr would both be too professional to “muddy the waters” beyond the odd frisson…

  34. E&L says:

    HG, Do you speak the words “I love you” to the Shieldmaiden?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You will have to wait and read E&L.

  35. Kim e says:

    HG.
    I was surprised about the comment of when Jane was in devaluation.Correct me if I am wrong, I am sure you will, but arent you still in the golden period with her?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Read the article again, you have made a glaring error, Kim.

    2. Gab says:

      HG, would you like Dr O to read your blog? Would you like to play with her head this way, triangulate her and so on? Is she in devaluation now?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        You will have to wait and read.

  36. Lorelei says:

    HG—do you view former girlfriends with labels such as dumbest, smartest, prettiest, least attractive of all, etc. Or, are you views on them more robust or hearty?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      My views depend on what level of control is necessary.

      1. Lorelei says:

        Ah I see—they may fluctuate into who is prettier, less so, smarter, less so.. It has a plasticity of sorts.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Correct.

          1. Lorelei says:

            My opinions never really fluctuate on my former “people”—-is this truly present in rewind and fast forward for you to the extent of re-writing history? It’s seem like there should be a time one is set in concrete. But no? Is this the same essentially for all narcissists?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            It is. You are painted white or black and all engagements with you and about you are affected by that thinking.

          3. Lorelei says:

            I look better in black. My skin is too pale for white clothing. Maybe I should stay painted black.

          4. Desirée says:

            Lorelei
            Sicne we’re on the topic, your skin is not too pale for pure white, it’s just warm-toned. Opt for ivory instead and find yourself a warm, lovely Empath with a sunny demeanor.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Jesus, what is this, Colour Me Beautiful?

          6. Lorelei says:

            I think I’m neutral for my Tarte foundation? Can I post a make up application video here HG?

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Let me think about that.

            No.

          8. Pati says:

            Come on ,we cant take the focus off HG now can we ?

          9. Lorelei says:

            Why can’t I post a make up application video? Not me! A random YouTube. My children watch them all the time. I’m schooling them, guiding, steering, molding the next generation. One of the girls had scotch tape on her face playing around—I was so proud. (It’s a technique I’d never have time to care about, but..)

          10. HG Tudor says:

            Because this is a blog about narcissism not make-up, not clothes, not the colour olive.

          11. Lorelei says:

            You asked what shade—therefore it is your fault! Olive is so boring!

  37. Jess says:

    Is it Dr. O who has been commenting on this blog for years? Early on I remember a female Dr.being pretty verbose. If I’m correct then there are extensive comments by her on the earlier posted articles on the blog. If I’m wrong then apologies.
    If not then it’s pretty good reading.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      Jess
      Do you mean Dr HQ?

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        That’s the only Dr. I could think of also NA. She could growl with the best of them but was actually just a kitten.

      2. jessrnny says:

        Thank you!! Yes.

  38. Witch says:

    Does the three that got away contain useful details about their escape plans for others who wish to escape?

    1. lisk says:

      It contains pertinent details about *why* others should escape and GOSO ASAP.

      1. Witch says:

        I know I’ve now read it, and personally I didn’t appreciate paying for it. I didn’t learn more than what I already knew from reading the free blog entries, it just made me mad. I’m certainly looking forward to Matrinarc when that is released.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Of course you learned more than what you already knew.Without going into detail, you learned more about me, the three victims and various aspects of the narcissistic dynamic. I suspect your initial standpoint caused the problem.

          1. Witch says:

            Well… after reading fuel, I already knew what you were capable of. (Fuel is a must read and no contact)
            The victims – why you chose them? For their empathetic traits I already knew. The dangers of ET, I already knew (I don’t always personally apply the knowledge but I know because we discuss it extensively)
            It probably would have had a greater impact on me if it was one of the first of your work I read, but I’ve read quite a bit already, so not so much.
            I know most people loved it and I’m the minority, but that’s my opinion.

          2. lisk says:

            Sounds logical to me.

  39. Chihuahuamum says:

    Lol you teaser HG …looks like i have to get my gift card out again 🤣😂😆😁
    Going to go read part 2! 👍

  40. jessrnny says:

    As an empath who’s escaped all of her narcissists I’ve been dying to hear about the three that got away. I’m not surprised at all by HG ability to charm and manufacture jealousy between any two women. Especially not if those were his stems on IG. Both should know you don’t care about either one of them past your entertainment. They must love a challenge. They are just getting their fix too. It’s all good.

    This link worked correctly for PayPal. Thank you. Last time when we get to PayPal the purchase info is missing. Still haven’t read that article.

    1. Witch says:

      The women on the IG account, irk the hell out of me.
      “Oh my god HG you really spoil her with your gifts hehe” 🤡
      I’m sure the gifts will mean a lot after he rapes her anally or…
      Fucks her bestfriend or
      Makes her miss her mums birthday by pretending to be sick

      1. Lorelei says:

        I like to think this story of a “Dr. O” as “her character” being an almost exemplar of NOT being grandiose or naive enough to think pulling real out a narcissist is possible—real in terms of “true” affection or regard. That’s my view. Seducing a person seeking fuel with no reciprocal ambition is a useless waste of time. I’ve lost enough time.

      2. Joanne says:

        Yikes!
        I do agree with you Witch, on the insta comments. I had to stop looking.

        1. Witch says:

          The ig account upset me, I trolled it a little bit, then hg went private.
          It become more and more disturbing.
          If I found out my partner was putting up photos relating to me on his little narc blog, I would be so livid!
          I know hg doesn’t care, but it’s creepy and I don’t see how it’s helping his followers in any way.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Little?
            I’m giving them what they want, a glimpse into my world.

          2. Joanne says:

            Witch
            Yes, I felt a similar way. Almost in that we (the followers) are in on some secret, knowing what the disastrous potential outcome could be, while this woman is presumably on cloud 9, head over heels in love. That part gives me a great amount of unease. The delusional comments from some of the followers is also disturbing to me. Of course I wish HG well in his (not so new anymore) dynamic, and appreciate his work and the insight it has given me, but the “real time” view into his personal life is something in which I don’t feel comfortable participating.

  41. mbc0389 says:

    What made you seek counseling and or realize there was a problem?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Please see the About section.

  42. FoolMe1Time says:

    HG is Dr. O a narcissist?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You will have to read and work that out.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        I knew you would say that. Lol. Of course I will continue reading and looking for evidence, but right now I’m going with she is. Would you invoice me please for The Three that got Away when you have time? Thank you HG.

        1. FoolMe1Time says:

          Thank you HG. You should have received payment.

  43. MB says:

    Very powerful are your powers of seduction HG! To snag a Dr of freaking psychology treating you for psychopathy.

    You’ve got me under your control too. I bought the extra article. You’re good. Real good.

  44. Sweetest Perfection says:

    “Honey, how foggy is out there?”
    “Quite foggy, like a desperate Mid Range Narcissist issuing a Preventative Hoover.”

    Hahaha! Love the simile! Can’t wait to get the info about the three escapees.

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