The Golden Rules of Freedom – No. 2

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It is only over when you die or we die. Death is the only release from our grip.

I repeatedly explain this. I am not advocating that you kill yourself, but rather, I am reinforcing to you, that owing to the Narcissistic Perspective we regard you as our property. You belong to us and that ownership lasts until either you die or we die.

I know some people regard such a comment as grandiosity on my part, “Oh HG,” they say “That’s just you wanting to sound powerful.”

No, it isn’t. True, it is a manifestation of power, but it is a fact and if you fail to abide by this golden rule then you will not achieve and maintain your freedom from our kind.

If you think such a comment is just a manifestation of grandiosity and that your entanglement with the narcissist is over and will never be resurrected, then you are falling prey to your emotional thinking. You will lower your guard, you will engage with us again and you will be ensnared in some form. I have seen it happen repeatedly with my victims. Further, I have lost track of the number of times honest readers have stated

“You were right HG. He came back.”

Of course he or she did. We always will,  if the opportunity arises because you are our property, our appliance and we have invested in you. We want to capitalise on that investment time and time again.

You may state with conviction that this was the ‘final discard’ (such a phrase makes me roll my eyes) because there is no such thing. Those that declare that it was the final discard,  invariably state it from one of two perspectives – firstly, that they have done something so terrible to the narcissist that he or she would never dare to darken their doorstep again or secondly it is said because they want the twisted confirmation that it isn’t the “final discard” and the narcissist will return because the addicted victim wants the narcissist to return again.

Such conviction is dangerous. It breeds complacency. It makes you vulnerable. I will not deny that there are certain acts which are committed against that result in massive wounding. These acts invariably lead to your disengagement and our kind may well skulk away tail between legs and not be seen or heard of for some time. But it is only a temporary state of affairs.

There is always a risk we will return. It may be a very low risk or a very high risk, but the risk remains and a lot of the time, owing to naivety and ineffective (supposed) no contact regimes the risk is higher than you realise. Owing to the innate addiction you have to our kind and your inherent susceptibility to the fraudulent effects of emotional thinking, the risk is higher than you realise.

By understanding that it is never over until you die or we die ensures you avoid the complacency which results in ensnarement. I do not mean you have to live your life thereafter always looking over your shoulder, but ensuring that you do not adopt the mantle of arrogance that we are gone for good. By maintaining the mindset that there is always a risk, you will create a Logic Defence so that you, over time and with the adoption of additional techniques I can detail to you, automatically maintain your vigilance so that it does not feel like a burden.

Every one of my romantic victims has been hoovered by me. I do not draw them back into the Formal Relationship as I have a nomadic approach, but they have all been hoovered. One was hoovered after a 12 year gap.

Do not regard this golden rule as one of inducing fear and despair, but instead apply it so that you maintain your awareness and your guard is now lowered. By understanding and applying this rule, you are far less likely to commit the elementary errors that those disregarding this rule will do.

Our mindset says it is never over until death comes. Our need for fuel and other elements of the Prime Aims means that it is never over until death comes. Our ability to return in so many different ways means that it is never over until death comes.

By combining this golden rule with my material however you can ensure that it may as well be over because your education and application of your education means the risk of our return has been reduced and maintained at a very low level indeed.

Disregard this golden rule and your risk increases.

57 thoughts on “The Golden Rules of Freedom – No. 2

  1. Hope says:

    What if you have children and aren’t able to completely shut them out?

      1. Hope says:

        This is if you have already divorced? Sorry new here and just starting to see if this fits my case I guess..Been married for 15 years and the marriage therapist says narcissistic tendency. Been in counseling for 8 years and still affairs and the like. Thanks for the link!

        1. HG Tudor says:


  2. candacemarie1212 says:

    HG you are so right. My ex N has come back several times. After each time I thought, he won’t come back now, but he did. Now he is blocked everywhere.

  3. Dolores Haze says:

    “We are connected forever” he used to say and I used to think wow, that’s so romantic. Knowing what I know now (kudos HG), this phrase seems a spooky threat.

  4. Pati says:

    HG, so every single IPPS that you have ever had still belong to you .Even though you have a current one ?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Pati says:

        Thats a lot of appliances. Does it wound you knowing that some have actually moved on and are happy without you in their lives ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Have they moved on? Are they happy?

          1. Pati says:

            Yes have they moved on and are they happy?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No, because they belong to me.

          3. Pati says:

            Oh I forgot ,you are looking at it from your perspective . Fair Enough . Thank you

          4. HG Tudor says:


          5. Cloudy says:


            Would that be having ownership with them?

          6. kel says:

            You have likely answered your old girlfriends questions anonymously on this blog, you’ve probably told them to goso. They might have traded their addiction to you for you online without even knowing it. Although I can’t see how they wouldn’t recognize something about you, in your gravatar, your lifestyle, or your voice, but there’s no way an old girlfriend or co-worker couldn’t have googled narcissism and found this blog.

          7. HG Tudor says:

            None of them have appeared here.

          8. kel says:

            Your typos in your reply regarding old girlfriends not being on this blog:
            “None have them have have appeared here” seems to me to be an endeavor to answer honestly while deflecting with a positive-negative response or it’s a Freudian slip -nervous typo stutter. I’ve always been suspicious of narcissists because they answer things like lawyers with loopholes. Now I’m wondering if you’ve disguised your voice by lowering it when you record things. Anyway it doesn’t matter, but knowing the things you’ve done to old girlfriends, whosever girlfriends they are, have probably been googling same as we did.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            No. It is my voice. Of course I have a broadcast voice and a conversational voice.

            The typo has been corrected. That was all it was, I was trying to type whilst moving up and down and side to side!

          10. kel says:

            Narc’s! Cheerio and Jolly Good then

          11. Pati says:

            You forgot HG approves lol!

          12. kel says:

            “That amused me” Pati, Lol!

          13. Pati says:

            Awww thank you Kel!

          14. Lorelei says:

            They haven’t found you because you are just sitting on your pond with your dog and family! The dog is named Hitch.

          15. kel says:

            Why were you moving up and down and side to side when you were trying to type and made a typo? Were you on a carnival ride? On a Jeep riding through a safari? On an exercise machine? On a small airplane?

          16. HG Tudor says:

            I was wrestling an alligator. On a rollercoaster.

          17. kel says:

            Haha, Our hero! You never know where those things will turn up!

          18. NarcAngel says:

            On an empath demonstrating snake hips…

          19. HG Tudor says:

            Stop snooping!

        2. Violetta says:

          While wielding Jolly Hockey Sticks.

  5. Mary Robinson says:

    HG Angel assistance fund email came back undelivered. Why would that happen?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Presumably because you sent it to the wrong address

      1. MB says:

        Some rock solid logic there!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          That’s what I always dispense.

          1. MB says:

            Indeed you do.

    2. HG Tudor says:

      I’ve checked as you forwarded to me at the correct email address, your first email which shows you sent it to the wrong address. You omitted the “1” from “1909” hence it bounced back.

      1. Mary Robinson says:

        THANK YOU

  6. Empath16 says:

    I feel like this mainly applies to the IPPS, does this also apply to the IPSS or does this also depend on the narcissist? I feel like they are not as invested in the IPSS than they are in their IPPS.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It applies to all appliances in the fuel matrix.

  7. LK says:

    Our addiction runs through our veins secretly pumping your name over and over. Your truth that we will never be free wraps around us like a blanket of warmth and fear. Stuck between the comfort of safety that leads to our spiritual death or the insanity that is life trying to break the spell of bonding that tightens the harder we pull away. A dance with the devil that never seems to end….

    1. lisk says:

      It doesn’t need to be “insanity,” as HG explains over and over and over again.

      1. LK says:

        Yes, definitely trying to break it with Knowledge.

  8. Karen Harvey says:

    HG, is there such a thing as a negative hoover? If you’ve gone no contact but receive sparodic abusive emails, are these hoover attempts to get a reaction from you? Thanks. Karen

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Those are malign follow-up hoovers.

      1. Karen H says:

        HG, now that makes perfect sense as to what they are considering their content. I’ve been forwarding them to his solicitor along with a response that is directed to them and not him. In future should ld I just ignore them totally now that I know what they are?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          If they have some evidential value for ongoing court proceedings, store them for future use. There is no point in sending them to his solicitor nor commenting on them, this will be conveyed to him and will provide fuel and doubtless be Challenge Fuel risking further hoovers.

  9. Pingback: The Golden Rules of Freedom – No. 2 ⋆ NarcTopia
  10. Patricia S.A. says:

    Not true. If I got morbidly obese the narc wouldn’t continue to hoover.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Wrong. He would if there is a Hoover Trigger and the Hoover Execution Criteria are met. He may hoover by texting “Stand back from the donuts Fatty Arbuckle “

      1. Lorelei says:

        “Fatty Arbuckle!” I haven’t heard that in forever. It’s all about a reaction.

      2. Kim e says:

        Shit HG. I hope the rice trick really works as I just spit my Earl Grey all over my phone 😂😂😂😂😂😂🍩

        1. Violetta says:

          What is the rice trick?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Placing a phone which has been dropped in water into a Tupperware box of rice and then placing it in a warm place. Draws out the moisture.

          2. Violetta says:

            Thanks, will try. Does it work on laptops? I don’t drop them in water, but I’ve sprayed what I’m drinking on a laugh or sneeze.

          3. HG Tudor says:


          4. Kim e says:

            The rice trick should be done as soon as the moisture gets into the phone/tablet/laptop. And cross your fingers because I have heard of it working and other times not. I thank goodness have never had to try it. (knocking on wood)

  11. misstasia says:

    Song by Nichole Sherzinger called “Run” the lyrics ar perfect.

    Here’s some advice for the next one
    Don’t let him lead you to the dark
    Don’t tell him all your secrets
    He’ll leave you with a broken heart
    He’ll try and tell you that he wants you
    Just to keep you on the line
    And right when you’re about to move on
    He pulls you back in every time

    Here’s advice for the next one
    Here’s advice for the next one

    Darling, I know that you’re just like me
    You give your love up way too fast
    But once it’s gone, it’s gone forever
    And there’s no coming back from that
    He’s got this perfect way about him
    He’ll make you think that you come first
    But you’ll get lost in the challenge
    Of trying not to get hurt

    Here’s advice for the next one
    Here’s advice for the next one

    Don’t even search for that four-letter word
    You’ll never get it out
    You try, and try, and try
    But he’ll just shut you down
    Don’t wanna say I told you so
    So please go now

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