The Cold Dead Stare


You should consider that you are rather fortunate to be given these glimpses into the workings of my mind. Ordinarily you are unable to peer into the dark mind of my kind and me.  As an empathic individual you do cultivate an ability to understand the way that other people are thinking and how they are feeling. It provides you with a degree of intuition and this is applicable to many of the people that you meet. You apply this ability for the purposes of doing good things and I understand why you do that. Notwithstanding this ability, however, it does not work with us. You are unable to establish what is going through our minds or what we might be thinking, no matter how desperate you are, to be able to do this. This is because we do not abide by the normal rules and conventions of everyone else. We do not travel on the well-worn path but instead we take those routes which are far from the beaten path. These routes are tangled, unmapped and dangerous and they are so designed to prevent others from following us down them. We do not want you to know what we are thinking.

This is because we have no desire to convey to you any advantage in seeking to escape our effects and make it harder for us to obtain fuel from you. We must cloak our minds and make them impervious to your attempts to read them. We must operate through secrecy and covert behaviours so that you never see us coming, so that you never know what will happen next and so that you have no opportunity to evade us. Not only do we shroud our minds in this manner through our rejection of logic and the adoption of behaviours which are outside those considered normal, we also ensure you cannot read us through our eyes.

Many people look to the eyes as a device for gauging what someone might be thinking or perhaps more accurately feeling. If we are explaining something to somebody and we see confusion in that person’s eyes we know we must adopt a clearer method in our explanation. If we are conveying some news and see a pained expression in those eyes we know (if it was you making the comment) to alter the manner in which it is expressed to make it less painful or to do or say something to offer support. Of course, when we see it, we merely increase the pain in order to extract a reaction from you.

This weakness of the eyes in allowing another person to gauge how someone is feeling and therefore ascertain what they are thinking is not something that we can countenance. This is vulnerability and we do not like vulnerabilities at all. We have enough to contend with, without allowing you to see what they are. Accordingly, in order to ensure that our mind is impervious to your inspection we will either adopt a cold, dead look in our eyes which renders them impenetrable or we will simply reflect back at you what you are feeling and mislead you. When we adopt that cold stare, it may be designed to induce a sense of dread in you but it has a primary purpose. This purpose is to create a shield so that you are unable to ascertain what we are thinking and thus our plotting mind is secure from external influence and can proceed in its scheming. Should we reflect back to you what you are showing to us, we are doing this to mislead you, but also again to prevent you from having any chance of understanding what is going on in our dark minds. Our minds are the core of our operations. Our minds control everything in order to achieve our aim of securing fuel and as such, this most precious of devices must not be compromised in any way by people like you and your meddling.

We must ensure that our minds are ring-fenced, cut-off and protected from your attempts to read us. Should you be able to do that then you will be taking away one of our advantages. We know what you are thinking and we know what you are going to do next because you are an empath and you not only wear your heart on your sleeve but you wear your mind there as well. Your eyes allow us straight into what you are thinking and feeling. Your mind may as well be transparent or broadcast its thoughts onto a flat screen for all to see. You are easy to work out and study, hence why we choose you. A similar fate must not befall us and this is why we ensure at all times that our minds are impervious to your penetration.

37 thoughts on “The Cold Dead Stare

  1. Lisa says:

    HG, I’m a little confused with this eye thing? I can now spot it most of the time although I think it’s easier to see in blue or green eyes than it is in brown, just my per perspective, I’m sure that’s not actually correct !! I thought this was just a physical thing that cannot be controlled , it’s just how the eyes are due to not being attached to emotion? Ted Bundy’s eyes are a good example although I know he’s an extreme example but nevertheless, I have seen this with a lot of famous people as well. Am I misunderstanding your post ? It seems your saying that the Narcissist or Pyscopath has some control of this dead eyed look ? I don’t see how they do control it ? It just is dead ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There is a difference between the dead behind the eyes and the use of the cold, dead stare.

      1. Lisa says:

        Oh ok I see what you mean , thank you. On another subject is anyone watching Gold Digger on TV ?

        1. BonnieLou says:

          Yes, it’s going to be good. Hope I dont get any triggers as Ben Barnes looks like my Nex😫

          1. Lisa says:

            Hi BonnieLou, I’ve downloaded all episodes , on episode 4 now !! It’s full of narcs isn’t it ?? Although a lot still needs to unfold , I’m counting at least 5 narcs so far ha ha . So strange how you see characters even in dramas , so differently now !!

  2. Gypsy Heart says:

    Intriguing conversation about HG! I have oftentimes had many of the same thoughts. We will only know what he wants us to know, but I get the feeling there is so much more there that we could never fathom from another perspective.

  3. alexissmith2016 says:

    I’m intrigued Bostongirll. What makes you think its the tip? What else do you think is below?

    From my perspective, whilst there is still much for me to learn, I have found HG to be incredibly candid. There is more to learn in terms of intricacies but I don’t see very much more deep beneath. Understanding the creature would be helpful.

    1. bostongirl13 says:

      Respectfully, HG is a far more complex man than most give him credit. There is a glacier in him and only SM and a select few will ever see pieces of that. His charm and candor serve him well indeed. I have always maintained that he was a perfect gentleman here.

      However, it is a fact not conjecture, that the inner workings of his mind on this blog are but glimpses. HG’s superior intellect far surpasses that of most people. This combined with his employment of tactics and strategy in his interpersonal relationships renders him extremely powerful and quite dangerous. It’s what he is not writing, that interests this reader.

      I completely disagree with you, HG is not a “creature”, he is a human being. Indeed there is always more to learn from him.

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        Thanks BG, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful at all, not to you or HG. I was genuinely interested in finding out what else you thought there might be – just trying to broaden my own understanding. I didn’t refer to HG as a creature, merely referring to his own admission of ‘the creature’ not that he is one. He is as you say highly intelligent and the most intelligent person I’ve ever interacted with. I’m sorry if you took offence but none was intended at all.

        1. bostongirl13 says:

          No offense taken. My apologies to you for misunderstanding your reference to “the creature.”

          As to what else I think there may be. There is the artifice and construct he created and puts forth to the world to seamlessly blend in. This blog he writes is a part of that superficial construct, part of the persona, barely scratching the surface of his potential. Behind that veneer, is what I would like to know more of.

          My interest lies in his hidden life of which he does NOT write. His private inner world includes his secret thoughts, fantasies, activities, and motivations…beyond fuel. In a very global way that, is the glacier to which I was referring.

          Hope this helps answer your question.

          1. lisk says:

            bg13, “glacier” and “creature” might be the same thing, in HG’s case anyway.

            While I do agree there may be more to him, I’m not sure it is so deep, as as2016 mentions above.

            Either way, HG presents a facade here and everywhere and says so. Some if it here might be narc-related, but it also has to do with his need to be and stay anonymous in order to get the word out about narcissism.

            It is why we only get “glimpses”—and sometimes poorly edited ones at that. (Frankly, I believe the many typos and the sometimes overwrought writing are deliberate, not meant to reflect his narcissism as much as to mask his real ability and vocation.)

          2. bostongirl13 says:

            HG is not the only one here who desires anonymity and privacy. I empathize with his needs. I agree with you that any typographical errors on the posts would appear as though they were written in a harried manner yet this doesn’t fit with HG’s perfectionism and meticulous attention to detail. You have astute observation skills and he is a most interesting man.

          3. alexissmith2016 says:

            Thanks for clarifying BG. I guess my strengths are to read, understand, learn and apply. Thinking beyond what I’m taught is not such a strength.

            ‘My interest lies in his hidden life of which he does NOT write. His private inner world includes his secret thoughts, fantasies, activities, and motivations…beyond fuel. In a very global way that, is the glacier to which I was referring.’
            Very interesting, I had not really thought so deeply, definitely one of my weaknesses and why I have been a victim repeatedly in the past is because I have always accepted things very much on face value.

            I hope we all find the answers to your questions eventually.

          4. bostongirl13 says:

            We all have weaknesses. At the end of my own victimization from my ex Narcissistic Sociopath, I was left with 3rd degree emotional burns over my entire body.

            We all have blind spots as well. I was like the frog in the pot of water not realizing he was slowly boiling me. I sat in horror when my ex shared with me his fantasy of procuring an 18 year-old girl to sexually rape and torture; beginning by pulling off her nipples with a pair of needle nose pliers. That, was part of his of his “glacier.“ A small part no one else heard.

            I wanted to believe that with enough love and the right therapy that he could somehow change and become normal. The problem was, that he didn’t want to be ”fixed.”

          5. NarcAngel says:

            Re: Hope that enough love and the right therapy could result in changing him to normal.

            Was this before he expressed physically mutilating someone, or did you still believe that was possible after he expressed it?

            It’s not a judgement. I ask because I am genuinely intrigued by the apparent limitlessness of hope in some, and I wonder if this is a constant state for them or if it is heightened specifically while ensnared.

          6. bostongirl13 says:

            Great question. I was indeed ensnared at the time he expressed his said fantasies.
            I was deeply in love with him. Because of my background in Psych I already had a good working Dx. Knowing at the intellectual level the poor prognostic outcome for him did little to deter me from holding out hope that change in him was possible. They say love is blind and perhaps it was.

            On the other hand, I knew at the theoretical level, there was an infinitesimal possibility of change, if he himself wanted to change. He wanted nothing of the sort. It was me who wanted him to experience the rapture and oblivion of love.

            Still, hope springs eternal. That someday, I might know such a rare person who will traverse into the void and rescue their authentic self. The capability certainly exists but the willingness also needs to be present.

            Hope this was helpful to you.

          7. NarcAngel says:


            I appreciate your honest response. Thank you.

          8. bostongirl13 says:

            You are most welcome.

          9. lisk says:


            Whoa! Now I really get what you mean by “glacier.”

          10. alexissmith2016 says:

            That sounds awful BG! He definitely sounds like someone with a sadistic streak. What an evil man!

            I didn’t get to know mine in that way thank goodness! Not all Ns are into sex e.g. victim and cerebral and derive their pleasure in other ways. That was my main saving grace, we never actually even got close to sex. As soon as he had my love secured he begun the devaluation. Don’t get me wrong, I would eventually have had sex with him. I’m not trying to pardon myself here, just grateful we never did. I digress slightly but he got sick pleasures in many other ways. One that springs to mind so seemingly innocent but actually atrocious given the meaning it would have to those involved. My closest friends in the group of friends where I knew him from were both muslim women. As part of their religion men whom they are not married to are not allowed to touch them not even a handshake. They both thought he was such a kind gentleman. There was the odd occasion where he would ‘accidentally’ touch them then profusely apologise but I saw the glint in his eyes as he did it. It was no accident. My friends reacted that they knew he would never do anything like that intentionally. How sadly naive we all were.

          11. bostongirl13 says:

            If there’s one thing I’ve come to know it’s that they, all have their proclivities and predilections and so do we.

          12. NA I was naive enough to believe that anybody could be helped. I’m no longer deluded. But I did truly believe that.

        2. lisk says:

          as2016, bg13’s use of “Respectfully” struck me as an act of general politeness embedded in her style of writing rather than an indirect accusation about your curiosity.

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Thanks Lisk, re-reading what I’d originally written there was a degree of ambiguity which I get so I just wanted to clarify things to remove any ambiguity. Thanks for pointing out though.

  4. Violetta says:

    From a Daily Mail story:

    Just a few weeks after the horrific murder of Sharon Tate, her sister Debra took her courage in her hands. Surrounded by armed guards, she found herself walking slowly down a prison corridor in the dead of night, before turning into a windowless room. And waiting. Moments later, his hands and feet in iron shackles, cult leader Charles Manson shuffled in.

    If Debra had hoped for some small crumb of understanding from this confrontation with her sister’s killer, she would leave not just disappointed but shaken. ‘I sat opposite him across this little plastic table and stared into his eyes, and you know what I saw? Absolutely nothing,’ she recalls today in a rare and utterly compelling interview.

    ‘There was no emotion in his eyes. They were dead. It reminded me of looking into a shark’s eyes. I go diving, so I know. You can’t tell if they are going to lunge at you and kill you.’

  5. Bostongirl13 says:

    Glimpses into your kind is what I’ve been seeking since I was old enough to know what the respective diagnostic term was, in high school.

    I applied to the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico, VA in 1992 in hopes to having access to people with similar traits to yourself.

    Learning about your kind has been a lifelong interest of mine. I know from my ex, that what you revealed here is but the tip of the ice-burg of the inner workings of your mind. I am very much interested in the glacier below.


    1. cogra002 says:

      Hey BG. I’m a Virginian and former military. Interesting about Quantico.

      1. bostongirl13 says:

        Cogra002, There is a specialized training base for the Marines 1/2 hour from Hoover bldg. A lot of firearm ranges there.

        1. cogra002 says:

          Boston girl, I’d love to come shooting with you on those ranges! Best of the best!!

  6. cogra002 says:

    I dont know about this one. I, and probably many empathe DID see into to life of deceit and perversion and fraud but kept shaking it off , couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be the same person, this cant be happening, how did I allow this, how do I get out of this, omg, omg omg.
    Then the Narc dumps a load of crap on us, doses us w Narc heroin gives us 5 mins of lovebombing, and we put it aside.
    Til the next time……

  7. Bibi says:

    HG, I just watched the HBO doc on Elizabeth Holmes and holy moly what a creepy set of eyes she has. What a horrible person. She also isn’t that smart–her ‘smarts’ include knowing how to manipulate and persuade. Anything involving her actual ‘skill’ she had no clue and was a total incompetent.

    Con Artist Fraud. Grand Bullshitter. Megalomaniac.

    That doc. is on YT, BTW in English with Spanish subs.

  8. Barbara says:

    Spleen time…narcs think they get away with everything (especially uppers) but be very sure there IS a reckoning coming… YOU will NOT escape.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Where is this reckoning? What does it look like?

      1. lisk says:

        The Narcocalypse

        Coming to a theater near you!

  9. NotMe! says:

    HG, I understand that most narcissists act instinctively and do not set out to hurt people in a calculated manner. But they do know that they lie and carry on intimate relationships with more than person at a time. Even if their motivations are instinctive, they know what they are doing is wrong or they wouldn’t lie about it?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Some narcissists know it is viewed as wrong from YOUR perspective, but of course it is justifiable on the part of the narcissist.
      2. Some narcissists do not cover up their infidelity, others will do, only because their narcissism causes them to do to ensure control and the constitution of the fuel matrix. It is not done for the reasons YOU think from YOUR perspective. The narcissist does not know that he is lying (where Lesser or Mid Range) owing to the blinding impact of narcissism.

      1. NotMe! says:

        Thank you HG, my head is ‘cabbaged’ by this

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