Trapped : The Car



We need to control everything around us. This must be done so we can gain fuel. This must be done because our natural paranoia causes us to need to exert our will on those around us, before they can do so to us and undoubtedly with catastrophic consequences. Only by exerting control can we be sure and satisfied that the order of things will be as we require it to be. We hate to be subject to the control of others. That reminds us of matters which are best left alone.

This need and desire for control causes us to adjust our manipulations so that we can engineer situations where we can achieve total control. Total control arises when we have you trapped.

This concept of trapping you works on several levels. The widest level is within the confines of the Narcissistic Relationship. This is why we regard your entanglement with us as being permanent. We chose you and now you belong to us. You have no say in this of course, why would you when you are not of our calibre? The idea of trapping you continues in terms of the Formal Relationship. This is why we move swiftly to proclaim you as our boyfriend, fiancee, partner, wife and so forth.

The application of this labelling is more than just a convenient way of referring to you. We trap you during seduction with the illusion that we create. We trap you during devaluation through the application of our machinations to ensure that you remain stuck and confused. We place traps all around you so they snap close and hold you tight. We get you pregnant, we isolate you from your friends, we make you give up your job so you become financially dependent on us (although we will naturally complain about you leeching off us later on), we stop you seeing your family, we smear people to you and you to them so you are cut adrift from your support networks. On and on it goes the placing and laying of these traps at varying levels so you remain trapped.

This trapping continues within the various stages of the narcissistic cycle. Most often this manifests when we are devaluing you. In keeping with the need to have total control, we want to engineer situations where you are under our control, unable to escape us and thus we can exact our machinations against you and extract what we want from you. To do this, we create Situational Traps and there are many of them which I shall detail to you over the course of various articles, but we shall begin with a Situational Trap which is a favourite of ours; the car.

We will naturally be at the wheel after all the car is ours (whether it might be in your name is irrelevant) and so we have to be the one driving. We choose where we are going, the speed at which we go, the controls of the car are under our charge. You are sat besides us, seatbelt on, buckled in to your seat as the world flashes by. You cannot escape us. You cannot jump from the car. You might unclip your seatbelt and climb into the back of the vehicle, if you are nimble enough, although we will stop you from trying to do that. You are in the hotseat, right next to us and we know it.

You may we well cuffed to a chair in some dingy basement, with a single bright light shining in your face for the interrogation and treatment will be of a similar nature. The journey may have begun pleasantly enough but if this is a trip which is taking place during the devaluation period, all it takes is for your to blunder in to criticising us and then our fury ignites and the nastiness commences.

With you trapped we know that we have you all to ourselves. There is nowhere for you to go. With a Mid-Ranger or a Greater, you will be lured into the vehicle purely for the purposes of us being to rely on the Situational Trap. The behaviour which has offended us may have taken place earlier, in some instances days earlier and with plotting mind firing away, we avail ourselves of the opportunity to coerce you to go on a journey with us. It will undoubtedly be under some false pretence; a picnic, a drive to the coast, a trip to the shopping mall. Once you are in, the seat belt is on and the central locking clicks, then you are our prisoner.

The smile we wore fades in an instant and the fury which we have kept under control is now allowed to the surface. This enables us to draw fuel form your reactions, your pleading, your questioning, your puzzled expression, the fright in your eyes and such like. We may well have placed your bag in the boot which contains your ‘phone so you cannot call anybody. If you try to reach for your ‘phone, it will be snatched from you and thrown to one side, quite possibly from the moving vehicle as we ensure that you are isolated and trapped.

You cannot go anywhere. There is nobody to ask for help. You cannot move out of this confined space. Thus we have placed you in this Situation Trap which is allowing us to exert complete and utter control over you, enabling us to do as we please, for howsoever long we choose and accordingly, such total control is very much an outcome that we aim for.

When we have you to ourselves in this manner, so begins the unpleasant treatment which is all designed to ensure you remain subjected to our power and for you to give us fuel. There are many different ways we exert this when we have you trapped in the passenger seat besides us and these are some of those ways:-

  1. Driving at an excessive speed and/or recklessly;
  2. Slamming the breaks on causing you to jolt forward, then accelerating, then braking hard again, catapulting you back and forth;
  3. Braking hard when you are about to take a drink so it spills;
  4. Turning up the music extremely loud;
  5. Cross-examining you relentlessly about something you have done or not done;
  6. Administering a silent treatment;
  7. Telling you at the outset of the journey that we are going somewhere and then driving in a different direction or past the destination and refusing to explain where we are going;
  8. Assaulting you physically as we drive;
  9. Driving at night in an unlit area and switching the lights on and off;
  10. Swerving violently over the road, overtaking at dangerous places;
  11. Repeatedly insulting you;
  12. Shouting at you;
  13. Poking you as we question you.
  14. Driving into the middle of nowhere in silence, save for a baleful glare that we keep giving you;
  15. Threatening to drive us both off a cliff and heading towards such an area;
  16. Threatening to throw you from the car whilst it is moving;
  17. Circular conversations;
  18. Lengthy monologues about ourselves which have you bored to tears.

The effect of this behaviour will vary in intensity. Sometimes it is purely to frustrate you because we have not gone to the place that was promised. On other occasions it is to allow us to talk at you and question you so you are made to feel bored or uncomfortable. Then again, the nastiness and intimidation is increased whereby the intention is to terrify you and have you scared witless.

Having behaved in this manner and left you terrified, shaking and scared, we may well purposefully drive into an area where the traffic is slower and there are other cars around to test you to see if you try to escape us or attract attention from somebody else. We will be waiting for you to test our control and if you do, there will be further repercussions.

Repeated applications of this behaviour will eventually condition you to the point that you dread being told that

“We are going for a drive.”

Since you have come to know only too well that it is far more than just going for a drive. It is placing you in a cell right next to us, a cell from which you are unable to move or escape and thus we can apply our twisted machinations against you all in the name of fuel and further control.

You are trapped and it is to drive you insane.

14 thoughts on “Trapped : The Car

  1. youbringoutmynarcfleas says:

    2 exs.done this to me but on sporty motorbikes with me riding pillion (I think thats the word). I love it. 1st ex who I was with for 5 yrs and lived with me went mental while I was on the back when I just said slow down. Was shaking when I eventually got off. He ended up booting me in the head with steel toe caps one night. Got him arrested amd charged. 2 yrs of stalking and threatening to cut my tits off, slice my face and set fire to my home. 2nd ex ised to wheely the motorbike while I just held on to the back handle. Scared the shit out of me but he loved it. Luckily didnt last that long and no nasty. Multiple girlfriends after tho

  2. Whitney says:

    Dear HG 💙

    When I was with the Psychopath I said “hello” to a boy from my University, who we saw at a bar.

    After we drove home, the Psychopath locked the car doors. He stared at me, and asked me who this boy was. He did not believe me. He said I was acting weird. He stared and stared and stared at me. It was scary.

    1. Pati says:

      OMG , I would have been freaking out too!

  3. Pati says:

    Turning up the music so loud that I cant even hear myself think . He puts on songs that i hate as he is smoking away and ashes are going on my clothes. My hair smells of smoke after I freshly washed it just unreal.

  4. Pati says:

    How about smoking cigarettes in the car when you have laryngitis. I couldnt even talk to tell him not to smoke . I used hand gestures. He continued. Him driving fast in the car wont kill me bit second hand smoke will. HG is this a way of him helping me he can do what he wants at times without any consideration of others .

  5. lisk says:

    So many times his road rage had me screaming, “People have guns, you know. You could have gotten us shot!”

  6. Jules says:

    The car… I can’t even. I honestly can’t believe I’m still alive considering the things that have gone down in the car. Scary.
    But the funniest (in retrospect) happened in England actually. We sped through the dark in the open country. I sat in the drivers seat with no steering wheel in front of me, as it is in England, and that in itself was disconcerting. But as we raced into the darkness in a sweeping curve to the left my exhilaration turned to terror as an oncoming car bore down on us head-on. At the last second I threw my arms in front of my face and half screamed as the oncoming car passed us on the right side, as they do in England. 😱🇬🇧😅

  7. nunya biz says:

    This is to me the most intolerable manipulation, probably because of the feeling of being trapped. This clip makes me sick to my stomach to watch because of past experiences, I hate it, if you don’t mind HG….
    I’m sure I’d mentioned the movie, can’t remember if I did the clip.

  8. You forgot:

    ‘turning the car heater up to maximum and keeping the windows tightly closed’;

    ‘instanty turning the car heater back up to full blast maximum every time your prisoner quietly tries to turn it down a little’;

    ‘driving right up to the front of the queue when lanes merge then letting you take the flak from other motorists’;

    ‘alternately tailgating and boy-racing then letting you take the flak from other motorists;

    ‘pressing down on the accelerator when asked to please slow down;

    ‘speeding up even more when reminded that there are precious babies/children in the back seats’;

    ‘speeding up and aiming towards anyone (especially cchildren, the elderly or the disabled) crossing the road’;

    ‘violently elbowing your map-reading prisoner in the face, almost rendering her unconscious, when you decide that she is a split second too late in telling you to turn right instead of going straight ahead’

    The last one of course was before GPS. A long time ago but I will never forget it

  9. Pingback: Trapped : The Car ⋆ NarcTopia
  10. LambToLion says:

    I have experienced a lot of what you wrote. The things he did to clearly make me scared out of my wits. The sick look of delight in knowing he was scaring me.
    You repeat the theme that narcissists are not aware of what they are doing, you can’t tell me that my narc didn’t know exactly what he was doing when he did those things to me .
    HG, Do they have a switch that flips on and off in moments when they are aware of what they’re doing, and moments where they are not?
    According to him, everything is his, just as you said. The cars, The house, everything.
    Reading what you wrote is frighteningly accurate, as if you were here in my home observing everything.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Lesser and Mid Range operate through instinct. Upper Mid Range, instinctive planning. Greater operate through some instinct but mainly calculation. The majority of narcissists are Lesser or Mid Range and do not know what they are doing. I can explain it in much more detail to help you understand, but that is the preserve of a consultation and not a blog comment. If you want to truly understand why they do not know what they are doing (even though it (mistakenly) seems like it to you), I advocate you organise a consultation.

      1. LambToLion says:

        I am definitely arranging a consultation with you, working on it.
        Your insight is invaluable.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed it is and I look forward to assisting you.

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