Why Is The Narcissist’s Facebook Page Silent?


Of all the various social media platforms that are available, Facebook remains a clear favourite with our kind. Its titanic status and near ubiquitous nature appeal as does the fact that it remains the demographic social media home of the majority of our victims. Facebook is used extensively but there is an occurrence whereby it appears that our once vibrant Facebook page has fallen into disuse. The profile picture never alters whereas it once changed several times a day to allow us to show off the latest snapshot of our brilliance. The timeline remains mournfully empty. There are no posts about our latest achievements and accomplishments. There is no sharing of the latest video we have uploaded or the link to YouTube for the same purpose. The only things that can be seen are the annual birthday well wishes from those reminded by the automated feature on the platform. There are never any replies to these salutations. There are postings from years ago but everything appears to be silent. Your friend request may have been accepted but nothing more has happened and now our profile drifts silently through cyberspace like some ghost ship. Why do we let this happen?

  1. Bring out the spyglass

Just because there is not anything happening on our profile it does not mean that there is nothing happening. We are using this profile to spy on you and others. We utilise it for the gathering of information prior to the seduction, we use it to keep an eye on what you are doing on your profile page during the devaluation and we utilise it to keep tabs on you in readiness for that hoover. Silent and looming we use the profile to watch you, waiting and calculating our next move. As you churn out the comments, posts and likes, we are watching, that small smile playing across our lips, forked tongue brushing those sharp teeth as we lie in wait.

  1. Triangulation

“Yes I am on Facebook, you can send me a friend request if you wish, but I never use it. I haven’t in years. I am too busy you see; I prefer to do my living in the real world. It is being with people that matters to me. I don’t need to herald what I achieve on an electronic platform, I let my actions in real life speak for themselves. That is what matters to me. I prefer to be face to face with people, seeing them hearing them speak and watching them.”

An earnest speech designed to impress you and con you into thinking that there is nothing to be wary about with regards to our Facebook profile. We triangulate you with a supposedly dead Facebook profile in order to cause you to admire us for being so “real”. Oh the irony. All of it is tripe. Made-up for the purposes of making us sound good. Apart from the last sentence. That one is true though not for the reasons most people would expect. That personal interaction is required because that is where the best fuel is.

2. Deterrent

You are less likely to block us if you think we never use our Facebook page which comes in useful for keeping an eye on you post discard for the purposes of organising a hoover. If we are unlikely to use our profile or even read it then you are dissuaded from posting anything there which might upset our carefully crafted façade. Why bother when nobody reads it? By conning you that this profile is never visited you will similarly keep away from it and thus we reduce your chances of interference and also those of your supporters. This means fewer people to tackle online when the smear campaign is rolled out.

3.Ever Presence

If there was no Facebook page, then you could obviously never look at it could you? By keeping it and not blocking you, you will keep returning to it post escape and post discard because you cannot help but want to know what we are doing, whether we are saying anything about you. You may not be minded to post anything in accordance with the point above (you do not of course want us to know that you are sneaking these looks) but you will look nevertheless. You always do. You keep returning to it in the hope of some posting, some development and some news. This keeps you linked to us and keeps us in your mind as each day you conduct your obligatory tour of our social media platforms.

4.Cover Story

The lack of activity on our Facebook profile allows us to maintain plausible deniability. How can we be engaging in flirting online if we never go on Facebook? Look, nothing is happening. Here, check the messages. See there is nothing there and hasn’t been for months. I hate you being so controlling like this; why do you treat me this way? We use it to assume the moral high ground and provoke you into responding to our jibes.

5. The Action is Elsewhere

You cannot seriously expect us to lose one of our main weapons in our game playing can you? Whilst our “real” profile may be dormant, the real action is taking place using a fake profile where we are gathering legions of prospective targets, engaging in flattery, flirtation and fabrication as we suck fuel from these individuals and look to identify potential targets for a closer approach to them. Do not think that the fact we use a fabricated profile will stand in our way to converting the seduction to a real-life interaction. We have a thousand lies to legitimately explain away why we did this and the intrigue will make you want us all the more.

6. Resurrection

At some point we will crank the profile back into life and the proliferation of likes, postings and comments will begin again. We operate through contrast and this difference between dormancy and vibrancy will be used to our advantage and to your disadvantage. You can rest assured of that. We will suddenly engage with people and allow you to see it, but not engage with you, in order to continue our devaluation of you. We may spring into life and seduce you through the profile proclaiming that you are so special we wanted to tell the world all about you and use our Facebook profile (free from being cluttered with less worthy individuals) about it.

15 thoughts on “Why Is The Narcissist’s Facebook Page Silent?

  1. honestyrocks777 says:

    Guys, misti here

    Firstly I dont know why my name doesnt show like it used to.

    Next, I need to process. Woke up today feeling upset.lots to read… I apologize..

    I reached out in december I believe. A complete mess. Things have gotten a little better. Day by day.. i have moments where i say “he will convince his friends i am horrible. He was anyways.. and that the effort is not worth it. ”

    He would always tell me.. misti I never lose. I always win. And he is right. Because of how he can never be caught. Because everything is plausible.

    Sometimes I would plan a conversation where I would know what he would say to “catch him” and just when i thought i had it…he could sneak out with plausibility

    I’ve been put on some medication just to get me through the next several months. The doctor said he didnt want me “on the last straw” every day. I found an article that I posted on and didnt think it got answered but saw it last night and hurt me. About sleep rape. It upset me. Nick did that. Said he did it to his ex wife too. I just thought “how hott is that that he wants me even when I’m sleeping” I was disturbed knowing this was a thing…

    I’m having trouble because when I get so depressed and I try to reach out… theres no way for it to be real time.

    Actually a lot of these hurt me.

    We arent supposed to use arenas 1 through 5 but here we basically are. Talking about our ex.

    But in my studies on men and womens brains.. women are wired to process and talk. Men arent. It’s how we feel peace etc. I dont see that it is beneficial to refrain frrom processing as i feel it would create long term effects and not genuine healing. It would be a mask or coverup with a lot of repressed feelings that will later surface..


    I shift back and forth from “it’s my duty to tell people” I mean with a sexual predator or abuser or with someone who is physically abusive. We tell people. We dont remain silent. We speak out.

    I dont feel in good conscious knowing these people were and are in a trap. While he is not knowingly doing this stuff.. they dont know the truth. They are being lied about and have smears against them as well.

    What kind of person am I to let people be involved and not warn them? What if I AM the one to open their eyes? What if I can save someone from what I went through?

    I’m terrified for these people as well as nick. He is basically self sabotaging everything and thinks its everyone else. I feel bad for him.

    His ex wife shanna has no clue
    I’ve tried talking to her even before I knew it was narcissism. Even before I was being treated for trauma and narcissistic abuse. She certainly only knows what nick tells her. The triangulation is massive. 🙁

    When he would complain that she was messaging him and wouldnt stop I would tell him, “well you must be engaging her to some extent. If you dont want to hear from her then tell her or quit responding” it was always something. And he made her look horrible. I caught on to how he talked about everyone he was with.

    He made me think she was spying on me so I would block her. He did that with the sky dive stuff.

    He would get upset and say “why would I want to talk to her!! She aborted my child for God sakes” which he claims is true. but he was doing it because he “pitied her”. And she has noone to talk to and She has agoraphobia (all these he said) he cant leave her be alone. She needs a friend etc..Which I later found out he used the same stuff on someone he was with before her. She caught him at the neighbor’s, same excuse..

    Ugh I feel sick thinking about all the stuff that has been manipulated and the people that are involved.

    I even wonder if shanna was coming out to see him once. Shes 2000 miles away but she sent him a message saying she was in a state (as if she left her home state) and he commented on it as if she went to see a brother. Again I’ll never know

    And his daughter… he gaslighted his daughter. I’m so worried.

    Shanna his ex wife She is the only one that doesnt know. The others figured it out. Stories are so similar. Cheated on all of them.
    Also, with the smear campaign, he is a MRN. I’m still not understanding how or if he believes what he is saying.

    For example; one blatant lie he told his friends was I am a prude and closed minded in bed and I cant take what he has to give and I cant go long amounts of time in bed with him. He said the same about shanna.

    All complete 180 from truth though. I told him in the beginning that I wasnt sure he could even satisfy me. That I liked some extreme stuff. He said he wanted to “teach” me to make love and not to fuck. And that i dont need that stuff.

    But he also said he didnt want to get into that stuff because he was supposedly afraid it would unleash his dark side.

    My question is, when telling his friends that I’m a prude etc…is that part of the smear? They all made fun of me and i was the butt of their joke.

    And next question, if it is the smear… doesnt he know it’s a lie when hes telling it? Because then he will come to me and talk about how lucky he is to have a freak in bed and any man would want that. So he was playing both sides of the fence.

    How does he not know he is lying to his friends?


    1. Violetta says:

      If he’s a mid-ranger, they believe what they say when they’re saying it. When they say the opposite 30 seconds later, they believe that too. If you point out the contradiction, you must have misunderstood. Play them a recording, and unlike the lesser, they won’t just break your technology with a hammer; but the recording will be mysteriously deleted/lost, and they won’t remember having heard it, and will accuse you of imagining things.

      Mid-rangers are masters of Orwellian DoubleThink.

  2. Bekah B says:

    Would most of the reasons listed also apply to the case of the narcissist deactivating their Facebook profile entirely (and other social media accounts, such as Instagram and Twitter)? Could it be possible there is some type of manipulation occuring, as it concerns the IPPS, and the narcissist is trying to prove to them they are not carrying on with other sources of fuel because they have no active social media accounts?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Potentially. One would require more information to provide an accurate response.

  3. Fuel Shortage says:

    Would a Narc ever “filter” certain individuals from seeing his Facebook profile? Not block or unfriend… But just apply filters so that only certain people can see certain things? If so, I’m just wondering what the reason would be for doing this.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Potentially. Control.

      1. Fuel Shortage says:

        Yeah, makes sense I guess. Whenever I would like or comment on a picture that he would post he would either delete it, text me to tell me he had to delete it because his wife would ask who I was, or ask me to “stop stalking” his page (aka: stop liking and commenting). Then there were times where he would “Invite” me to look at his new music projects that he posted on his page. There was also a time when I mutual friend of ours reached out to me to ask me if I saw the news about his second child being born on Facebook. When I went to his Facebook there was nothing there. He later admitted to me that he was “scared” and had to filter me out. He apologized and then changed his settings. Although lately I notice that many months have gone by and there have been no posts at all except for one post about his music so I guess he’s back to filtering me out again.

        I guess I should feel better knowing that he takes me into account before he posts anything. However this is got to be an exhausting way to behave for him, don’t you think? All for “control”. I wonder how he keeps up with this for everyone else that he has to “filter” away at any given moment. What a moron he is.

        1. Kim e says:

          Gabby. He does NOT take you into account. He takes HIM into account. He gives 2 shits about you. Sorry but it is true

          1. Fuel Shortage says:

            I meant it as in he has to think about who gets filtered each time he posts. I’m sure it’s exhausting to keep track of all of that.

          2. Kim e says:

            Gabby. Ok. Let’s review.
            “He has to think about who to filter. It must be exhausting”
            That statement alone should tell you everything you need to know about him. He has so many that he does give a shit about that you are just one of many.
            I am altering my first response. He does not give a shit about ANY OF YOU
            I hate being harsh Gabby but I have been on this site since I believe 1/18. You were in the same boat then….slowly sinking. I know it is hard. Proof being I have been here since 1/18 and am just now getting to a point where I feel NC working. It is harder than any thing you will ever do….no lie. But you need to start doing something in the way of baby steps or you will be destroyed. Mentally emotionally physically. You owe it to yourself as I believe in you.
            I also refuse to call you any name you give yourself other than YOUR name. Don’t let him take that away from you too

          3. NarcAngel says:


            If it was exhausting he wouldn’t do it as they only do what benefits them. Quite the contrary – it energizes and empowers him to know that with so little effort you are under his control. You are actually so exhausted from the manipulation and control that you think he’s the one expending the energy when it’s actually you.

          4. HG Tudor says:


        2. MB says:

          Save him the trouble Gabby, block him. You do the controlling now. Cut the puppet strings while he isn’t looking!

  4. BonnieLou says:

    This is exactly what my Narc is doing. I had to search for another friend and my narcs profile was in the search list even though I hadn’t looked since May. He had changed his profile picture ..and of course, you know what curiosity did! Bang! Trigger and a day of tears. But I cleared my search history and brushed myself down (and also read your “Three That Got Away”) OMG HG! I have escaped!!! ..and I am now in a position to never go to that dark place ever again…today, my only worry is..Will my Liverpool beat your Manchester City tomorrow😂😂😂YNWA!! x

  5. Pati says:

    HG sometimes my husband deactivates and then reactivates Facebook his account. It does this alot and says he doesn’t like Facebook .

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