The Narcissist’s Army

Whilst we consider ourselves omnipotent, mighty and all-conquering it remains the fact that we are unable to do much of what is required to gather our fuel, execute our machinations and exert control without the assistance of our supporters. These are the people that form the Narcissist’s Army. Gaining supporters is important to us and it is not difficult for us to do so. Much in the same way that we seduce the person who we install as a primary source of fuel, we seduce people to become our supporters. What does it take to become one of our supporters? You must provide fuel, that is paramount and something that we expect from all those who we recruit to be our supporters. Predictably enough however we want more than just fuel. We want your obedience, we want you to speak well of us to others and accept our views over those advanced by other people. We want you to provide us with character traits which we can purloin for ourselves and pass them off as our own to the rest of the world. We want you to carry out our orders. Not everybody that we recruit is able to carry out these requirements and therefore this results in us having different classifications of supporter.

Where do these supporters come from? When you first become entangled with our kind you will notice that we have family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances who think highly of us. There will be occasions when someone who appears to be a stranger will stop and say hello to us on the street. We receive particularly good service from a waitress who evidently knows who we are. Our supporters are drawn from everybody around us. They do not all have to be friends with us, many supporters remain in the ranks of acquaintances, colleagues and minions without ever advancing to the status of being an inner or outer circle friend, but for every category of proximity of supply of fuel that exists, those people are our supporters. There will be an impressive infrastructure of supporters in place when we first interact but it will not end there. We want your supporters to become our supporters. Of course, those who support you are your supporters for completely different reasons to our supporters. That does not matter. Your supporters will also be subjected to the charm, pleasantness, kindness and magnetism in order to draw them into our sphere of influence and anoint them as one of our supporters and to place them into the relevant category. We regard it as fundamental that we recruit your supporters to be ours. At first it is not a mutually exclusive arrangement. Indeed, since you are firmly in the golden period then it is easy for these people to support you and I. It is once the devaluation begins and especially when a smear campaign is launched that the value of your supporters to us becomes greater. It is then that those supporters show their true worth to my kind by altering the way that they deal with you and/or refusing to alter the way that they deal with us. We always aim to recruit from your ranks.

So, what are the categories that we classify these supporters into?

The Façade – I regularly make mention of how the maintenance of the façade is important. We want the world to think we are kind, wonderful, interesting, charming, generous and an all-round decent person. Those people who are assigned to the façade provide us with fuel and think well of us. The façade is supported by a cast array of people ranging from family, friends, colleagues all the way through to strangers. We want all your supporters to buy into this as well, as a minimum, so that when the time comes to devalue you, smear you and dis-engage from you, you find that you run into a wall of unimpeachable individuals who all believe that we would never hurt you, that we are decent and you must be making it up, exaggerating or taking things out of proportion.

The Coterie – this is our stable of highly visible supporters. They can be relied on to provide us with fuel, more often and to a greater degree than those who are in the façade. This group will contain people who can provide us with those character traits which we like to steal. They believe everything that we say and are very difficult to persuade that the façade is just an illusion. They will gladly do things for us but are not engaged to directly carry out our machinations against you. We do not regard their loyalty and blind obedience to be that great. However, if we ask them to tell the world how great we are, they will do so. If we want to borrow money, get a lift somewhere, have them pick up a parcel and so forth they will willingly do so. The coterie is a competitive place where its members vie against one another for our favour, in order to show that they get to spend longer with us, or time with us alone, or that we have praised them over someone else. The coterie can be relied on to always agree with us, disagree with you, laugh at our jokes, stand and listen to our anecdotes and marvel at our magnificence. The coterie will embrace you warmly when we begin our seduction of you but do not be fooled. None of them like you. They only pretend to do so in order to gain our favour. They are jealous because they want to be our favourite, they want to be the primary source. They do not know what a primary source is, in the same way that you don’t, but they want to be regarded in the same way as the way we regard you during the seduction. This promise of a more intense golden period to the one that they already enjoy keeps them in line. Imagine a royal court and these courtiers are always to hand, gossiping, scheming and pretending in order to gain some royal grace and favour from their monarch; us. When we give the signal this group of people will turn their backs on you, happily disseminate our propaganda about you and support our smearing of you.

Turncoat Coterie – this group is as the above Coterie but contains those people who were once your supporters. Initially the person is admitted to our coterie because they are content to support both you and I and during the golden period there is no difficulty. This person has been earmarked for the Turncoat Coterie because they naturally promote the façade but they want more. They often contact us and not you, they talk to us without you being around and as time progresses we ensure that their loyalty to us becomes greater than their loyalty to you. To put it in your parlance, they start off as one of your friends, become both our friends and then decide they want to be my friend rather than remain friends with you. This person’s status is never apparent until it is time for them to make a choice between you and I, which is usually around the time of a smear campaign and discard. They will not actively do anything against you, but they will promote our smear to others and turn their back on you when we decree that ought to be done. Not only do we revel in such a recruitment since it bolsters the number of our supporters, but it also means that you will be hurt by their treachery and this provides us with fuel and emphasises our power.

Lieutenants – the agents who believe what we say, remain loyal and will carry out our demands in order to retain our favour and receive other tokens of our appreciation and largesse. Our lieutenants are not only those who will provide us with fuel, carry out favours for us but they will actively assist us in our machinations. Whether it is finding out information about a prospective target before we engage, administering one of our devaluing manipulations by proxy or utilising the lieutenant in a hoover, these are the elite of our supporters. They may not number many in nature and they do not know what we are, other than they regard us as a brilliant and magnetic person who has also done right by them. We will have undertaken favours for them in order to secure their loyalty. We will also have some “dirt” on them as well which we will use to apply pressure if we have any concerns that their loyalty is wavering. The Lieutenant can be called on for fuel in times of emergency, to assist us in our smear campaigns, to gather information for us and to remain loyal. I like to keep one lieutenant that you do not know about so that he or she can be used with impunity often during a hoover. Unaware that this person is connected to me, your defences will be lowered and this will enable my lieutenant to acquire information from you and initiate contact for me to improve the prospects of the hoover succeeding. You may find that not long after you have escaped us that you are approached by someone who seems interested in you romantically. There is a good chance this person is a hitherto unknown Lieutenant of ours. Not only does this improve the hoover prospects but if you happen to succumb to it and later escape or evade it in the first place and realise that a Lieutenant was involved, this will cause you to remain anxious about anybody else who engages with your romantically. This causes you to struggle to move forward and find someone new who will distract you from thinking about us.

Turncoat Lieutenant –  the ultimate supporter. This person is a friend or family member of yours who you think that you can rely on and trust, but in actual fact they are loyal to me and not only that they are actively briefing against you. It is this person who enables me to acquire your new mobile telephone number after you have changed it post escape. It is this person who tells me where you have moved to, where you will be on a particular evening and who you are fraternising with in order to maximise my attempt to hoover you. This person will operate on our behalf so that during devaluation when you are seeking solace from them and trying to understand what is happening this Turncoat Lieutenant will be advancing reasons which support my position and undermine yours. You can expect them to tell you.

“Are you sure that is what really happened?”

“I think you are over-reacting to be honest.”

“Maybe if you tried x or y, he may calm down.”

“Well, is it any wonder, he works really hard, he is probably stressed.”

“That’s not something to worry about, trust me.”

“You are becoming fixated with something that isn’t a problem.”

“He does a lot for you you know, often you don’t know about it.”

“I find that hard to believe, he is always fine with me.”

“He wouldn’t mean that. I think you are seeing something which isn’t there.”

“Take it from me, I know he has your best interests at heart.”

If you start hearing comments which sound as if they could be uttered by my kind, you are most likely dealing with a Turncoat Lieutenant. Often this individual has fallen for the lies we have told about you and the charm we have sent in their direction. If this person is of the opposite sex (or same if we are of that particular sexual orientation) there is a good chance they are your replacement and the reward for their loyalty to us and betrayal of you, will be to replace you as our primary source and as our intimate partner. This person will advance any smears against you and also persuade others amongst your supporters that we are right and you are wrong, causing confusion and doubt. Their impact is significant and we always aim to recruit such a person. They will often remain undetected, waiting for when we need to activate them and then they will cause havoc in your camp, undermining you to others, turning people against you and having you doubt yourself. A Turncoat Lieutenant is a dangerous weapon once recruited by us.

25 thoughts on “The Narcissist’s Army

  1. Dolores Haze says:

    ET flaring up today big time, Thanksgiving and all that… When/if anyone sees this comment, I could really use some virtual hugs and “you can do it, stick to NC” tips. Thank you in advance! Hashtag Empath Feeling Restless.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      You are not alone and you did the right thing in coming here for support. The holidays have this effect on many. Can you narrow down what you think is causing it? Is it a family member you have to face? Being the single one at the gatherings? Reminiscing about other holidays with an ex?

      1. Dolores Haze says:

        NA, thank you for getting in touch. I’m not 100% sure what’s causing it today out of all days, maybe because Thanksgiving is such a predictable holiday and my ex Upper Mid-Ranger is such a predictable all-American guy that I can clearly see him carving a turkey and smiling for his wife’s camera tonight. I’ve been exploiting my Logic Defense so much today it’s dead tired now. “Should I also block his wife on FB just in case he ever decides to take a look at my profile via her page?” Nope, shut up ET, I see you. You’ll go to the wife’s page to block her, but before you do so you’ll quickly scroll down to see if there are any new pics of him. “I really want to listen to HG’s Narc Detector audio file again to remind myself what an Elite Twat my ex is”. No, Dolly, today your ET just wants to hear someone talk about him, so not a good day to reopen that audio file.

        1. FYC says:

          Hi Dolores, I am sorry you are experiencing this today. I imagine all of the holidays will have a similar effect. I do think blocking her is a healthy choice, but definitely wait until you are not in an emotional state and do not scroll down as this will be harmful for you no matter what you find. Opt out of that behavior. When your LT returns and you are ever mindful of why you do not want or need these people in your life (due to all you experienced and what you now know), by all means, block away! Until then, sending you hugs and strength. We are thankful you are here with us.

          1. Dolores Haze says:

            Thank you, FYC! Sound advice regarding blocking when LT returns, that’s what I’ll do. But I’m glad I can already recognize ET when it pretends to act like LT. At least this time around.

            I’m thankful for being here, too.

          2. FYC says:

            Dolores: Absolutely well done! Just sorry you are feeling some undertow of the emotional waves. I have no doubt you will succeed.

    2. Violetta says:

      Virtual hugs, reread everything HG ever wrote, and watch the official videos for Christina Perri’s “Jar of Hearts” and the Ting Tings’ “Shut Up and Let Me Go.”

      Did you have a life and a personality BEFORE the narc? They are both still there.

      If you fell in the forest and the narc doesn’t hear you scream, do you still have to pick burrs out of your jeans? Of course you do.

      If you learned a new skill and the Narc doesn’t congratulate you (which he might not do if he WERE there), does the skill get taken away?

      He’s not the Red King in Alice. You are not part of his dream, and you will not go out poof! like a candle if he wakes up.

      Besides, they never wake up.

      1. Dolores Haze says:

        Thank you, Violetta; you’re very kind. I love your musical suggestions and wise words of support!

        1. Violetta says:

          You’re welcome, DH. Had to learn the hard way. Didn’t have HG or even know much about narcissism when I was first struggling to figure out what happened, let alone try to recover from it.

    3. Kim e says:

      Dolores. I get it. It was Thanksgiving 2 years ago that I discovered W was married. Illusion broken.
      I am just trying to live in the moment of today. Work thru my thoughts. Tell myself they don’t and master anymore.
      Enjoy the new. It is hard. Believe me I am not discounting your thoughts or emotions at all. Holidays are hard for people even if they have never dealt with N’s. Be gentle on yourself and go with the flow
      Hugs to you ❤️🦃

      1. Dolores Haze says:

        Thank you, Kim e! You are so right about living in the moment and being more gentle to oneself. Hugs right back at ya!

    4. NotMe! says:

      Virtual hugs coming from across the pond Delores.
      Stay strong and thank whoever you choose, for the knowledge you have and the fact that this year, you don’t need to deal with that Narc nonsense. And then have some pie!

      1. Dolores Haze says:

        NotMe!, thank you! It is indeed good to acknowledge I don’t need to deal with the Narc nonsense on a regular basis anymore! And pie is always a good idea 😉

    5. Alexissmith2016 says:

      You’ve totally got this Dolores, I remember having days here and there where I felt I literally had to message him. Be strong. These feelings pass xxx

      1. Dolores Haze says:

        Thank you, Alexis! I do feel better already, it’s wonderful to know I’m not alone and can reach out just like that to get genuine support and understanding, without judgment.

        Here’s hoping Bondi Bitch doesn’t find this sub thread and with all her disrespect towards English grammar accuse someone of being a narc again or smth, there’s only so much shit I can take in one day.

        1. Alexissmith2016 says:

          Simple solution. Just don’t read her comments. I very rarely do. It is only ET causing you to read them. This blog has important information on it and I don’t want to miss any snipers but I’d rather not read them including about others because it keeps you engaged where there is no need. No piece of information can be thst important.

          And in HG style, if she does read it, it doesn’t matter, you’re better than all the Ns out there. They only think they’re better – know we are xx

          1. Violetta says:

            DH: If necessary, use the “Find in Page” function on your phone or Ctrl-F on a laptop to find “HG Tudor” on a comment section. If you want, you can scroll up and see what he’s responding to, but you don’t have to if someone is making you uncomfortable.

            I do this anyway when I’m short on time, but I started doing it on the Thread from Purgatory. After I made a few comments, I just wanted to get out of there.

    6. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dearest Delores Haze and lovelies,
      “Tis the season” of extreme emotions to many of us, as it represents all that is giving, kind, good, sharing, loving, happy families, decorations, music, fun n frivolities and to others it is a heartbreaking reminder of breakups, deaths, fights, poverty, destruction, pain, misery n heartaches
      I noticed on the epic thread of over 1,000 comments a great many lovelies expressed emotional triggers and with Thanksgiving being right ones doorstep
      I would very much like to highlight the importance of “ones health” at this most vulnerable time
      We either consume copious amounts of alcohol to celebrate happiness or drown our sorrows in sadness, coupled with overindulging in food, spending unnecessarily and getting into debt or beating ourselves up for lack of funds
      It is an extremely important time to focus on ones self being, put yourself first in order to give back
      You start with your health, mind body n soul …everything depends on this
      I avoided the masses by not going out too often, as it triggered my anxieties …. even the letterbox was an effort!
      (Windstorm’s comment on her recent “depression” shocked me…..even the “strong” are vulnerable and without immunity (so sorry to hear that Windstorm, I hope you’re ok and we’re here to help if you need us)
      I’ve been focused on improving my health over the past 18 months
      I was extremely deficiant in Vitamin D …. soooooo important ! All my vitals are now perfect as I also managed to dramatically decrease my cholesterol levels to the total surprise of my doctor
      I’m now at my peak…. I have never felt better and not one medication in sight (l did it naturally n by myself )
      I now do what I feel is best for me
      Try to eat “cleaner” ……I use fresh everything (very little processed foods, minimal sugars n basically elimated “inflammatory” foods n I found milk made me nauseous) drink to enjoy in moderation n gentle exercise (one does not have to belong to a gym)
      Mandatory requirement, is to get out in the sun for 20 mins per day in the low UV ray period
      Being focused on ones optimum health (I feel) is a major factor of ones emotional thinking
      Focusing on the narc is extremely bad for ones health
      The narcs never cared, don’t care and will never care
      Never forget that

      I believe in you Dolores Haze … you’re número uno
      “No contact” is the ultimate gift to yourself …. it’s more precious than you realise and yes you can and you must
      Take care n the warmest of hugs precious
      You have all our support here
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Dolores Haze says:

        You rock, Bubbles 🍾! Thank you 🙏😘

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear Dolores Haze,
          Mwah 💋
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    7. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dear Dolores Haze,
      How are you lovely, are you ok ?
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Dolores Haze says:

        Oh that is so sweet of you to ask, Bubbles! I’m doing so much better, thank you very much. Back to good mood and regained balance. I’m very grateful for your support, it helped me right when I needed it most. I was hesitant to write here at first, but then thought why not… and I was rewarded with so much empathy from you guys.

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear Dolores Haze,
          I’m so very heart warmed to hear you steered yourself through that emotional sea we so often face
          Never be hesitant to write and ask precious, we’ve all been there and we’re still sailing
          You did it….. you should be very proud of yourself as we all are of you
          Big hugs 🤗
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  2. Annad says:

    I suspect several of these characters might be narcs themselves. Like sharks in a feeding frenzy, when they detect the blood of an empath they move in for some additional fuel.

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