Money is one of the most obvious ways in which one can demonstrate one’s power. Money provides options, it reveals opportunities and provides chances where none might have existed previously. Money equates to power and power equates to money. We have a healthy attitude to the question of money. What we create is ours. Yours is ours also. I have written previously how the successful of our kind exhibit our success and our power through the accumulation of money. It may be the creation of a successful business, the climbing of the corporate ladder into well-paid positions of responsibility and it might be the production of items and services that others require. There are of course those of our kind who have not grasped the concept that there is an unique opportunity afforded by the way that we are to be successful and in turn earn substantial amounts of money. Those of our kin who have not harnessed our special attributes in that manner are quite frankly a disappointment and they shall forever remain lesser narcs. Yes they are narcs but quite frankly they are not in my league or that of my high-achieving counterparts. I must admit to having nothing but contempt for those our kind who have failed to apply our abilities in this manner. They are letting the side down. That, however, is a topic for another day. What our less able kind and those of us who have embraced success do have in common is the unfailing ability to drain you of your financial health.
How does this manifest? Perhaps some of the following will be familiar to you?
- Never paying for drinks and meals when out together
- Never contributing to joint expenses and then spending a small fortune on something for ourselves
- Borrowing money repeatedly with a convincing tale of woe attached. The money is never re-paid.
- Taking out loans in your name which you only find about some time later when they are in default
- Learning the house has been mortgaged to the hilt and the advanced funds have been frittered away
- Expensive addictions to drink, drugs, prostitutes and/or gambling which we expect you to bail us out of
- Straight forward theft
- Failing to honour maintenance and child support arrangements
- Selling your possessions
Why does this happen? Sometimes it is about instant gratification. We want something
and we want it immediately. We have always been used to getting our own way so why
should it be any different when it comes to the question of money? We do not recognise
any boundary that says we should not have your money. It is in play and up for grabs.
We want something and you can pay for it. This of course reinforces our control over
you by seizing your finances and goods we have you beholden to what we want to do.
We show that we are in control and of course we anticipate horror, howls or protest and
anger when you learn of our activity. All of which is good fuel. There is also an element
of retribution. We may have been denied something and this in turn offends our sense of
entitlement. We feel criticised and we want to get rid of that sensation. One method is to
assert our power by taking what belongs to you and using it to our benefit. Sometimes
we do this an expend your financial resource in a totally excessive fashion which just
wastes the money. To us however there is no waste in such a step. It underlines our
importance, it affirms our power and it keeps you under out control.
The scale by which our kind engages in this sequestration of the money and assets of
others can vary hugely in scale, even when perpetrated by the same person. In that vein
I am reminded of the late Robert Maxwell. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the
name, Maxwell was a Czech born media mogul who operated a publishing empire in the
United Kingdom. He fell off his yacht in 1991 and drowned. There is little doubt that he
was one of our kind – plenty has been written about the man and his behaviours which
confirms that. Maxwell plundered the company pension scheme stealing hundreds of
millions of pounds from the pensions of the employees leaving thousands of people in
financial difficulty. There was the misappropriation of the money of others on a massive
scale. Maxwell was also found on Christmas morning by his wife and children
surrounded by torn wrapping paper. He had wanted to know what had been bought for
the children. Rather than ask his wife, he went ahead and opened all the wrapped gifts.
He did not take the gifts but he certainly trampled over a boundary and appropriated the
surprise that was meant for his children. Nobody is beyond our sense of entitlement
when it comes to money or assets.