Q&A With HG – Tuesday 4th February

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On Tuesday 4th February I will be in the United States for various promotional activities. To harness the time zone difference, at 5pm EST (10pm UK time / 9 am Wed 5th February AEDT) I will commence a private question and answer session.

This will be a strictly limited audience and is based on first come, first served by obtaining a place in advance. 

A private forum will be created for those attending and for just under 3 hours you will in the forum be able to ask any and all questions which will be answered for you. You will be able to see other questions and the answers. You will use your blog names for the Q&A so anonymity is preserved.

Once you have secured your place, you will be provided with a password which will allow you attendance in the forum. If you are unsuccessful in securing a place, your payment will be refunded. 

This arrangement guarantees you will be able to ask your questions about anything to do with narcissism, narcissists and of course me and get the direct and personal answers. I will not be doing anything else other than deal with the questions that you pose in this forum. No distractions, do delays and the continuity of discussion.

To book your place at this limited number event, which costs just US $ 15 per person and have nearly 3 hours of unfettered access to me, use the button below.

I look forward to receiving your burning questions and most of all, giving you the answer.

Q&A With HG


116 thoughts on “Q&A With HG – Tuesday 4th February

  1. K says:

    Sorry HG!
    I violated this rule: Please only ask one question per comment.

    I will behave better next time and that is not a Future Fake.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not a problem. Many people did this but I was able to handle it!

      1. K says:

        Of course, you are an Ultra after all! Fantastic Q & A, thank you!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

      2. WhoCares says:


        You certainly did handle it; it was outstanding!
        Quality questions, intriguing questions and more…
        Very informative, candid and entertaining on your part!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      Q&A was a blast!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Certainly was. There will be more.

      2. K says:

        I can’t wait for the next one; I am writing my questions down ….one at a time.

    3. WhoCares says:

      K: you violator!

      1. K says:

        Hahahaha….that’s exactly what I thought when I wrote the comment! I’m a Violator!

        Thank you BTW! The Q & A flew by and I wasn’t able to respond quick enough.

        WhoCares says:
        February 4, 2020 at 23:46
        Good questions K!
        Do lawyers ever/often consult with you to question whether or not a particular client of their’s is a narcissist?

        1. WhoCares says:

          You’re welcome K.
          Yes, it went fast & fun!

          And so many excellent questions: some meaty, some insightful, and some purely entertaining. It was good mix.

  2. Violetta says:

    HG: I look forward to seeing your comments on Trump’s SOTU speech. I hope that dealing with the Tudorites will provide a pleasant interval for you before enduring Trump’s rhetoric, rather than depleting your stores of patience.

    All kidding aside, in addition to humanizing the Narcissist, you have done much to humanize the Victims of Narcissism. We’re not a homogeneous bunch of perennially whiny people who show up on Dateline post-mortem while Keith Morrison never mentions (and pretends not to notice) that only an idiot would have missed the obvious signals that the spouse/Significant Other was a murderous con artist. We like (or hate) horses; some of us are sexually adventurous, others die-hard romantics; some are forgiving, others want to beat the ex with a baseball bat.

    Your Tudorites show that people with a wide variety of interests, from music to politics to fashion, people who are clearly knowledgeable in many ways, can be targeted by Narcissists. I don’t know of any other blog or forum that has done so much to diminish the shame attached to wondering, “how the hell did I let this happen?”

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good comment.

    2. WhoCares says:


      Very insightful comment. And something I’ve not seen put into words so accurately and concisely:

      “I don’t know of any other blog or forum that has done so much to diminish the shame attached to wondering, “how the hell did I let this happen?”

    3. Sweetest Perfection says:

      “We like (or hate) horses; some of us are sexually adventurous, others die-hard romantics; some are forgiving, others want to beat the ex with a baseball bat.“ Hahaha glorious description, Violetta! Can I be a hybrid die-hard romantic that would nonetheless beat the narc with a baseball bat without stopping to love horses and other animals? The combinations are endless! Or maybe not, I’m not a math person.

      1. Violetta says:

        Sweet P:

        Beat on the narc
        Beat on the narc
        Beat on your ex in Corona Park
        Oh, yeah
        Oh, yeah
        Oh oh oh oh

    4. K says:

      Thank you Violetta!
      That was “feel good comment” of the day.

    5. njfilly says:


      I take issue with your comment. Who could hate horses?!

      1. Violetta says:

        Lorelei had a bad experience with the one she had at boarding school. It’s a pity, because it could have been a healing experience. I get on with most horses, but I did meet one who made it very clear she thought I was an idiot.

        1. njfilly says:

          Yes, sometimes having a bad experience, particularly when young or just starting (although I don’t know this to be Lorelei’s situation) can make a person hesitant or fearful, or disinterested. I’ve ridden and owned horses for many years. I’ve met all types and have been hurt badly multiple times.

          1. Lorelei says:

            I love animals but horses hold no interest for me. LOVE animals—don’t want horses mistreated but don’t even want to care for one. They require tremendous upkeep for the same gain I can get from my shih-tzu or terrier.

          2. njfilly says:


            Yes, apparently horses are not for you, the same way that shih-tzu’s are not for me. I prefer a dog that has the capacity to bite a person’s face off but doesn’t because it is highly trained and responsive to it’s trainer-me.

          3. Lorelei says:

            Njfilly—I was involved in dog sports and imported several GSD’s as well. This was maybe up until 7 years ago. It is of interest and I have friends from the time I was involved. I really like French Ring sport. Mark Keating is or was a highly regarded trainer. He took a brand new dog owner, picked just the right Malinois and trained them to achieve a perfect score in French Ring brevet and then to the dogs first level past a brevet. It’s almost unheard of. I watched the event and I observed Mark during the event and he doesn’t miss a thing. He is the best dog trainer I’ve ever seen—hands down. If you enjoy this venue these sports are great and he’s accessible online. (He shacked up professionally with a douche bag—Ed Frawley but it gave him exposure) Mark also has bred and trained poodles for fun—birds also I believe. It is incredible how much there is to know, loads of narcissists to navigate, incredible nuances to picking the correct dogs.. It’s much like learning narcissism! I don’t have the capacity to house a dog like that currently because it was simply too difficult. The Malinois I most recently had was dangerous unless I was handling her. That is not a dog that is suitable to a residential neighborhood with children—the liability was substantial. I also can’t stand the cleaning involved and purposely have non-shedding dogs. I like things very clean and it was hard to keep up. If I had a farm it would be different.

          4. njfilly says:


            Very interesting. I do enjoy dog training, particularly obedience and agility. It’s really just a hobby but I do require my dogs to be obedient here on the farm, and we need our dogs out often at night and small dogs are meals for predators. They serve several purposes besides that I love animals; they are pets as well as herd/flock guardians and security. Having a farm does help with having large dogs. Also, they get lots of exercise.

            I like to have a small “pack” of 3 dogs; a puppy, a young adult and an older adult. The older dogs teach the young ones and they all seem to get along. Then if all goes well the older one dies and gets replaced by a new puppy. Twice my little “pack” chased down a young deer and had it down in the field. They would not have killed it as I don’t think they knew how, but each dog had hold of a limb and they were holding it there and the deer was literally screaming, and I had to save it. I don’t encourage this but dogs will be dogs.

            There are 2 large dogs here now that belong to my parents, one being a Great Pyrenees, but currently I am dog-less. My last dog was a German Shepherd named Ruffles (Ruff Ruff for short). She was 130 lbs. quite large for a female. Very standoffish to strangers and very protective of me. She died in 2018. I love German Shepherds and another breed I love is Caucasian Ovcharka. Coincidentally there was a breeder of Caucasians in my small town.

          5. Lorelei says:

            I’ve had two GSD’s and a Pyrenees. I’m doing little creatures these days.

          6. njfilly says:

            I will probably never own another Pyrenees. Too much hair and grooming involved.

          7. Lorelei says:

            And that damn horse never knocked me off. It was shocking. Haha

          8. Violetta says:

            I love Great Pyrs. When they like you, they go all Warner Bros on you. My neighbor’s Pyr totally adopted me. My neighbor said she saved on heat in the winter too, because he assumed he was supposed to sleep on top of her.

          9. njfilly says:


      2. kel says:

        My great grandfather worked around race horses, and one mistook his thumb for a carrot one day when he was pointing over his shoulder, and bit it off. He was a tall man and swung around and punched the horse, knocking it off its feet.

        Horses are beautiful to watch, but I don’t know them that well, and don’t know if they mind me sitting on their backs. I enjoy watching other people getting along with them.

        1. njfilly says:


          Well, that’s an interesting story!

        2. Sweetest Perfection says:

          My dad had two horses, one was an English horse and the other one was an Arabian one, each needed a different type of riding style. He didn’t have them simultaneously, one first and then the other. I love horses but they were always a cause of arguments between my parents, my mom always complaining that my dad was wasting money on keeping them, my dad leaving on the weekends to ride the horse… drama drama. I don’t have a good memory of that time. Kel, that story is scary! Especially thinking of the many times I fed a carrot to them. However, I also love dogs and a German shepherd almost ate my hand away a few years ago. Accidents happen when you are around animals, even if they don’t mean anything bad.

          1. kel says:

            My great grandfather just never had a thumb when I knew him, but it didn’t stop him from loving horses. He kept pictures on his walls of some he worked with.

            I hope your hand is okay. I played with a neighbors German Shepard once, Oscar, and he playfully grabbed my jeans, tugging at them, but it left big holes in them and ruined them.

  3. WhoCares says:

    Thank-you NA! My day just keeps getting better. 💚💙💜
    So appreciated. You have no idea.

  4. ThePolicyOfTruth says:

    Ugh I’ve missed so much.

    Just popping in to say I’m not neglecting this site intentionally. I’ve just had a shockingly bad three and a half months.

    Since mid November I had :

    A family bereavement
    4 kids with chest infections
    I was hospitalised with pneumonia on Boxing day
    My daughter was hospitalised with Meningitis on 5th January.
    My husband got the flu
    My microwave broke
    And my computer broke too.

    I’ll be back at some point. I’m sad to be missing all the HG stuff but I need to get my life in order.

    Many blessings to all.
    HG have a wonderful trip.

    1. Violetta says:

      Make chicken soup before flu season starts and freeze in small batches for easy microwaving.
      Recommended herbs:
      Rosemary and garlic – mild antibiotics
      Pinch lavender – antiseptic
      Onion – anti-inflammatory
      Raw ginger – clears throat, settles stomach
      Raw horseradish – clears sinuses

      Toss in a pot with a chicken and water, put on lowest possible heat, and steep over night. Strain and freeze.

      Chicken will be bland and tasteless, but still edible.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        ** clutches pearls and gasps **

        That’s damned near a recipe!! I’ve arranged a boat down at the moat for your escape. You can’t miss it. It’s Cunts on Punts Charterways.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha.

        2. Violetta says:

          NA: Too late. The Beefeaters caught me and escorted me into the Happy Hut.

          In between inflicting perky things like Disney movies, episodes of the Brady Bunch, and the soundtrack of Annie on me, they’ve been demanding I pronounce things like Belvoir Castle, Cholmondeley, and Fotheringham. Apparently, they have a complete dossier of my transgressions on other threads.

    2. FYC says:

      Hello TPOT, I am so sorry to hear this. I two had pneumonia for two months. The right antibiotics made all the difference and lots of rest. Take care and I do wish you and your family a very speedy and complete recovery. We look forward to your return when you are ready.

    3. K says:

      You poor thing! It’s miserable being sick and taking care of sick children is no picnic either. Sorry about the bereavement. Please take care of yourself so you can come back and catch up.

      1. ThePolicyOfTruth says:

        Thanks all x

    4. FoolMe1Time says:

      I am sorry to hear about all you have been through in the last few months. I hope you are feeling better as well as everyone else in your family. Take care of yourself.

    5. Sweetest Perfection says:

      TPOT, sending you good vibes and love! Sorry about all the sicknesses, even the appliances’ ones. Hope you all feel better soon 💕💕

  5. Traci says:

    Hi HG!
    Ok, I have been a bit MIA… so to partake, it seems like I need to be well read in your series HG 1-4… let me know what needs to be addressed so I at least can view the commentary for your forum if I can not participate. Please email me, haha (with all of your time) the best way to go forward. Yes, you have many comments! I have yet to keep up.

  6. santaann1964 says:

    Bad timing for me, getting my hair done finally. Disappointed to miss you!

  7. Lin May says:

    I would also like to attend but don’t want to take a space from someone who needs it desperately. Please let me know if there is a spare space after people currently in horrible situations are accounted for, HG. Have a safe flight and good Fuel seeking!

  8. EmP says:

    I have so many questions already.. HG, are we allowed to ask about the Grand Design?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. EmP says:

        Noted, thank you HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

      2. Renarde says:

        Ha! Doesnt mean to say he will answer them though!

      3. Susan says:

        Ditto to Lin May comment about taking up space from those in greater need. Would love to attend. It will be great

  9. FoolMe1Time says:

    Unfortunately I am working that evening. I could probably catch some of it on my break, however I’m going to wait and see if you have any space left just as FYC and Dorian are doing. Please add me to the list to notify if this is the case.

    On another note, Friday will be payday for me and I will be catching up with items that I have added to a list too purchase. This has become my favorite place to shop! (I’m not real big on shopping and prefer going in purchasing what I want, and getting out!)

    Have a safe flight HG, and stay safe!!

    1. Emextraordinaire says:

      Hi! I am replying here bc WordPress does not like my initial likes and responses! Sorry to interrupt. I am trying to decipher what I need to do to be a part of the forum. Thanks!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        You appear to be asking about a different forum in relation to the Q&A. To access the discussion re Knowing HG Parts 1-4, you need to purchase them, you then receive a password so you can access the forum.

        1. Emextraordinaire says:

          Yes, thank you for the clarification.

    2. Renarde says:

      Yes stay safe HG!

      Remember, KLM! [Gives knowing ‘wink’]

  10. Claire says:

    Sadly I am going to miss it because of the time difference (:.

  11. privatejourney60 says:

    Oh, HG, just file a Dual Citizenship USA & UK and stay 6months. I support your being in the East Coast! Wrapping a Warm Blanket around your Wholesome Sense of Well Being for Safety and Success!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Most kind of you to offer.

      1. surfinsybil says:

        I’ve got another area of the East Coast for you to consider…the Middle Peninsula area of Virginia. Being a historically significant area we have names familiar to you like Gloucester, Middlesex, York, Suffolk, Lancaster, etc. There’s fresh seafood (I have the waterman connections for this), historical sites and waterfront homes which offer privacy and beauty. You have the beauty of Southern hospitality with close access to the conveniences of cities. And, you’re not far from Washington D.C. so you can wield your powerful influence there when you’re not relaxing on your private beach on the York River.

        It’s a most fitting place for Professor Tudor.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Most kind of you to offer such recommendations.

  12. Twilight says:

    To be granted an answer to a question…..

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That is generally what happens with Q&A sessions.

      1. Twilight says:

        Smart a@@ I was thinking (writing) out loud, I have one I would like to ask

  13. zwartbolleke says:

    Mr Tudor,

    Are we allowed to ask questions regarding the AP or the LB?

    For instance about ET?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  14. WokeAF says:

    Awe, can’t make it, I’ll be there in spirit lol

  15. Dorion says:

    I would love to participate but feel like FYC, wouldn’t want to take space from others that need this to resolve situations in their life. Especially with the long rambles I tend to post.

    Are you planning to make the content of the discussion available publicly on the blog after the event, similar to the live sessions people do on Youtube?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Dorion, no, it will not be available afterwards. It is be there or miss out.

      1. Violetta says:

        (Snivelling with self-pity preparatory to ingestion of annelids….)

    2. Renarde says:


      How kind of you to think of others. That speaks volumes.

      However, your questions are of equal validity to the noobs. We are all on the same path. Some of us at different stages but whatever stage we are at, it’s still just as hard.

      It’s only that our perception changes.

      I hope this helps.

  16. FYC says:

    HG, I would gladly pay to attend, but I have no burning question at present and would not want to take a slot away from someone in need of an answer. If you end up with a slot open (I doubt it) for an interested party for the learning experience, please let me know.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I shall do so.

      1. FYC says:

        Thank you, HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No problem.

  17. Mercy says:

    Interesting, you will be in the US a day before the final Senate vote. Weren’t you here when the impeachment trials started?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ssssh, you haven’t seen me, right?!

      1. Mercy says:

        Haha I need to scale back on the detective stuff

        1. HG Tudor says:

          On the contrary….

      2. Violetta says:

        Caught a glimpse of tangerine board shorts disappearing around the corner….

        1. Renarde says:


          That’s hysterical!

    2. Violetta says:

      Also around State of the Union speech.


      1. Mercy says:

        Yes a very busy week for politics.

        1. Lorelei says:

          He was a back up dancer in the super bowl last night. He’s really a woman.

          1. Violetta says:

            I’d speculate he was a journalist, but he writes too well.

          2. Lorelei says:

            Who knows. If he ever pops up sick on my watch though I’ll put a bandaid over his entire face! After all, anonymity isn’t free! Violetta—it’s time for me to get off of here a bit and study my dear!

          3. Violetta says:

            Seriously, Lorelei: do you think HG would tolerate being a back-up to anybody?

            If he got behind Jenny-from-the-Schlock, it would only be to trip her so he could take over.

          4. Lorelei says:

            Dear Violetta—each time they mirror us they are taking the back seat. In a way.

          5. Violetta says:

            Only so they can pull an All About Eve.

            Anyhow, I don’t see HG dancing to JLo’s shit. Not sure what songs I can imagine him finding dance-worthy.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Chopin’s Piano Sonata in B minor Op 35 III for Matrinarc at the appropriate time.

          7. Lorelei says:

            You really dislike your mother HG? Like you didn’t make that up?

          8. HG Tudor says:

            Indeed I do.

          9. Lorelei says:

            HG—I have an email with a password. No link. Is it within the body of the blog?

          10. HG Tudor says:

            Read paragraph 6 of the material that was sent to you Lorelei.

          11. Lorelei says:

            Sorry—I see it.

          12. HG Tudor says:

            Jolly good.

          13. Lorelei says:

            Interesting how our experiences differ. Cleaning out my mother’s bedroom today—much different sort of reflection. My crazy fun friend is helping me and she is exactly the medicine I need. I’ve heard about all her sexual shenanigans and my mother’s ears would be burning!

          14. Violetta says:

            HG: while she’s still alive to hear the 3rd movement, I suppose?

            Personally, I’d prefer this for the send-off, but I can be crude at times:


            For afterwards, if you really want to shake your money maker, have you considered this?


          15. Violetta says:

            HG: Yay, you’ve landed! Couldn’t start my day right without Narcsite over breakfast.

  18. K says:

    I hope your visit is related to the secret in Thanksgiving Tudorgiving.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      I’m hoping that is the reason for the U.S visit as well.

    2. Lorelei says:

      K—I’ll be in and out of the forum, I have some things happening for a bit of it but hope to see you there.

      1. K says:

        See you there!

  19. Pingback: Q&A With HG – Tuesday 4th February ⋆ NarcTopia
  20. Christopher Jackson says:

    Hg where are you going to be at in the united states is that something that is going to be seen after we pay?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. That is a secret.
      2. It is only relevant with regard to my availability time zone wise.

      1. CandaceMarie says:

        I’m guessing either New York or Washington DC.

      2. santaann1964 says:

        Come to my house in Florida, we can chat and laugh. I’ll never tell who you are. Promise
        Enjoy the USA

    2. K says:

      Christopher Jackson
      East coast/Eastern time; New York, perhaps.

  21. Caity says:

    Sounds wonderful, HG! How soon will we know if we secured a spot in your forum?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      When I email you.

  22. MB says:

    Is it audio or the questions will be typed? This is the HGTU convention we’ve always dreamed of! I can’t believe this is happening y’all.

  23. MB says:

    No fucking way!!!

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