You Were Warned



“You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me you know, I am damaged.”

“Well, it is a little bit late for that isn’t it? I am already involved.”

“I know and I am glad to hear you tell me that, really I am, because I want you more than anything. I have not wanted anybody else in the way I want you but it is because of that I think you would be better off without me.”

“Don’t be silly, what do you mean by that?”

“You are so wonderful, so perfect. I truly have not met anyone like you. It is as if everything I have ever wanted and needed in somebody has been put together and rolled into one.”

“That is lovely of you to say, but I am not perfect, far from it.”

“To me you are.”

“Bless you, that is so sweet. I think you are wonderful too, not at all damaged. I cannot believe you said that.”

“Well I am.”

“Not from where I am sitting. You are incredible. Thoughtful, loving, attentive, interesting, sensual and so passionate. Those are just a few of the things that spring to mind when I think about you.”

“What else?”

“Oh let me see. Generous, yes generous and kind, considerate and successful. Entertaining as well. I don’t think I know anybody who can light up a room like you do. I love to watch you when you have everyone’s attention, I can see how much they love to listen to you.”

“Oh you are just saying those things to make me feel better.”

“No not at all, I mean every word, I really do. I have not met anyone as special as you and that is why I love you as I do.”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t mean to be rude, but you will only get hurt.”

“How? By you?”



“I don’t know; I just always seem to mess things up. It may sound strange but somehow I want to think, I mean, I kind of know it should work with you, with you more than anybody else, I suppose I am just terrified that what we have is so wonderful, so perfect that I might do something to ruin it and then you would be hurt and I could not stand for that to happen.”

“You see, there you are again, considerate and kind.”

“I could not live with myself if I hurt you and I just do not want to run that risk of that happening. You do not deserve to be hurt.”

“That won’t happen, I can feel it. What you and I have is something out of the ordinary.”

“Yes we have haven’t we?”

“Absolutely. I love you and you love me and nobody is going to change that.”

“I know, I know, but what if, you know I do something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, it is just that well, previous relationships have not exactly been successful have they? My track record is not great.”

“No but that wasn’t your fault was it? Look, you told me all about what has happened in the past. Not many men would be so honest as you to admit to what you have gone through. That takes real courage and is typical of the honesty and decency you exude. You are a good man and you have been treated abhorrently by some wicked people. Oooh, if I ever met them, I don’t know what I would do.”

“I knew you would understand. You always do. You get me. They never did you see. I tried you know. I always tried to make it work. I just wanted both of us to be happy but you know when whatever you do is not enough? When no matter how hard you try to please somebody but they always find some kind of fault? That was them. They made me feel like it was my fault a lot of the time. They had that way of twisting everything around so I was made out to be the villain. It is hard to explain it, but that is what they did.”

“I understand. There are some people who just delight in the misery of other people but that is not going to happen with you and me.”


“No. We have both suffered previously.”

“I know. That is why I do not want to hurt you, you have had enough from the past and you deserve to be treated properly.”

“Well that is what you do. I could not ask for a better boyfriend, I really could not. You put me first, ahead of everything and you do so much for me. I really do appreciate it and each day I feel more in love with you because of what you do for me.”

“Thank you. That is all I want. Both of us to be happy. I think it must just be because of what has happened in the past, I am worried that this time, having found you, it will go wrong again and you will be hurt and I could not live with that.”

“Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. You have just been made to feel like this because of what they have done to you. It is understandable. I know you won’t hurt me. How could anyone who says the things you say to me ever hurt me? I have never had someone say the wonderful and beautiful things you say to me before. You leave me in tears. Tears of happiness admittedly because you just know what to say, you understand me.”

“Yes. There is a connection and it is deep and meaningful and I do not want that ever to be severed. I will fight to my dying breath to stay connected to you. I want to become you.”

“See, there you go again, saying the most wonderful things.”

“You bring it out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would do.”

“Well you don’t have to wonder do you? You’ve got me and you always will have.”

“Do you mean that?”


“You see I am really in heaven every time we kiss. I don’t ever want to hurt you or lose you.”

“That will never happen. You have me forever.”

“I hope so, I really do.”

“You do. Now, let’s not have any more talk about you hurting me, that isn’t going to happen. We have the rest of our lives to be together and be happy. Let me get another bottle of wine, no, it is my turn, you stay there. You do enough running around after me, let me do something for you for a change.”

“Okay, same again please.”

“Coming right up. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Listen to ‘You Were Warned’

16 thoughts on “You Were Warned

  1. autiempath says:

    This reminded me of the father of my children.
    He was, or is ( i don’t know if it is stil alive, as he left my country) possibly a LMRN, somatic.
    He thought he was a greater.

    The first time we had sex, he never came, and i got tired. So i asked him to come.
    He said then the weirdest thing: my sperm is very expensive.
    Now i know why, as i paid a huge price!

    He said al the time: I have power, i can hypnotize people….he did…he freaked me out, at that time i was very scared of him.

    He also showed me his mask carrousel, on purpose, just to scare me.

    He also was a big misogynist.
    At the time I was very naive, and thinking, wel iam not like that, iam loyal, faithful, honest, decent etc.
    I show you! I heal you! I fix that! Let me love you and show you that there are good women.

    Big mistake!

    1. WhoCares says:


      Thanks for sharing that. I appreciated reading it.

      “He said then the weirdest thing: my sperm is very expensive.”

      This made me laugh!

      So glad you’re out.

      1. autiempath says:

        Iam glad you appreciated this. And you had a laugh about it.
        They say the craziest things haha.
        Iam also happy that iam out.

        By the way, off topic.
        Did you read my answer to a question a while ago, with the Empath Detector article?

        1. WhoCares says:

          Thanks for directing me back to the Empath Detector article autiempath! I haven’t been getting all notifications and running short on time to follow up on discussions manually. I will go find it and follow up when I have a chance.

        2. WhoCares says:


          I would normally never share this (because I am fairly private and it always seemed really weird to me) but it is too similar to your experience and it confirms that it really is about the fuel – and not sex – when it comes to narcissists.

          Mine would try something similar – I would climax very easily and he would say that he didn’t actually ‘finish’ (ejaculate). So, then he would blame me for coming so intensely that it *prevented* his pleasure.
          Basically, he would say that I was too “tight” and inhibited him from coming. And I would feel guilty that I came and he did not.

          Seriously – what kind of guy complains about you being *too tight*?

          Answer: a narcissist.

          Anyway, it is clear now that the guilt this inflicted in me (because I am all about ‘fair is fair’ and I would attempt to try pleasuring him in other ways afterwards) was more powerful and fueling to him than the satisfaction of climaxing or making me climax. It also conserved energy in that all he had to do was not come, as opposed to using energy to be sexually competent – it’s all about the fuel equation.

          He tried to play this in his favour later by suggesting that I was neglecting his needs and that he had to take care of himself – manually. Now I see how my narcissistic traits played out towards the end of the relationship because he would try saying something like this often, but I would ignore him and, internally, be thinking: great, thumbs up even! One less thing off my plate…and eventually I didn’t even care where/how he got his pleasure because I was never going to touch him again and I was too worn down to care about sex.

          1. autiempath says:


            Your story is so creepy simular as mine.
            Thank you for being so open about this sensitvie topic.

            I also did not care about him taking care of himself by watching porn or with someone else.

            Oh and i had my period a very long time haha. Becouse then he did not want any sex (fuel) from me.

          2. WhoCares says:


            “Your story is so creepy simular as mine.
            Thank you for being so open about this sensitvie topic.”

            Yes, it is. And that’s okay, I likely would have never shared if you had not spoken up. It makes the weirdness of it not so weird afterall. Lol.

      2. Violetta says:

        Auntie Empath and WhoCares:

        Every sperm is sacred
        Every sperm is great
        If a sperm is wasted,
        God gets quite irate
        Let the heathen spill theirs
        On the dusty ground
        God shall make them pay for
        Each sperm that can’t be found
        Every sperm is wanted
        Every sperm is good
        Every sperm is needed
        In your neighborhood

        “Meaning of Life” – Monty Python

        1. WhoCares says:

          Violetta – hahaha!

        2. autiempath says:

          Violetta, this is hilarious! I like Monty Python!

  2. Marlene J says:

    Seriously, ALL narcs frequent the same recording studio! Yes, I was warned–almost verbatim. WTH?! He was sooo transparent–as was I. I just knew that someone so transparent wouldn’t hurt me. I told him so. But by the time he finished pummeling my soul, I barely knew my own name! God, just thinking that their speech is a recording infuriates me–and strengthens my resolve. Play it again, Sam! I mean, HG.

    1. lisk says:

      “Pummeling” is quite the accurate verb for what many narcs do to souls.

  3. Alexa says:

    I feel like I have had this exact conversation before.

    Love Alexa,

  4. Holly Zarka says:

    Omg, this conversation is like dejavu with my last relationship. Fortunately I caught on after months instead of years. I ran and although it has been very painful getting over the love narc, I am getting there.
    Thank you for your help HG!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

      1. lisk says:

        Lucky you, Holly! Yay!

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