The Empathic Supernova


What is the Empathic Supernova?

In order to detail this phenomenon, it is first necessary to consider when it might appear and what is behind its appearance.

The repeated application of our manipulations is deployed for the purposes of maintaining control over you. This control reinforces our notion of superiority,  omnipotence and impregnability and enables us to draw fuel from our appliances and most of all you as our primary source.

I have made mention of the Empathic Group, the group which lies to the left of the empathic-narcissistic spectrum and within this group there are four schools of the empathic individual; the , the Standard Empath, the Co-Dependent, the Super Empath and the Contagion Empath.

The sustained application of the many and varied manipulations produces results for us. It also takes its toll on our victims. The Co-Dependent will cling on, desperate for the self-definition which manifests as a consequence of their ensnarement with us. They will soak up the abuse, the confusion and the control until they reach a point of breakdown. The cumulative effect of the silent treatments, the gas lighting, the physical abuse, the psychological trauma, financial mistreatment and sexual degradation eventually causes the limpet-like Co-Dependent to collapse into numbness, malfunction and potential hospitalisation. They gave and gave until suddenly they fell off the cliff and their fuel provision remained impressive on Monday and by Tuesday it had stopped. No longer capable of pumping out fuel, attending to our requirements and showering us with appropriate traits and residual benefits, this failure to function invariably brings about the discard of this individual. The disengaged from Co-Dependent, although distraught at the loss of the narcissist which they crave, is in no position to try to bring about the resumption of the relationship and thus, whilst we focus on their replacement primary source, they are allowed a period by which they can recover and once the lights switch back on again and the fuel starts to pump, the devaluation of their replacement has begun, so we come looking and hoovering for the Co-Dependent. Unable to resist, because of the nature of the hoovering and their own vulnerability, they are hoovered back in and the narcissistic cycle continues.

Whilst third parties may try to assist the Co-Dependent to see and understand what has happened to them, their own substantial need to connect with a narcissist means it is very hard to make them take notice and stay away from us. Unless physically removed and isolated, the Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.

The empathic-narcissistic spectrum is a sliding scale that represents both empathic and narcissistic traits. On the far left the empathic traits are more numerous and stronger whilst the narcissistic traits are fewer and weaker. Move to the right and the empathic traits begin to lessen in number, their effects less evident and the narcissistic traits begin to increase and become more prevalent. Eventually, as one reaches the Narcissistic Group, on the right of this spectrum, the empathic traits have disappeared and all that remain are narcissistic traits which become more numerous and stronger the further right one goes within this Narcissistic Group.

Accordingly, with the Co-Dependent, he or she will have many empathic traits and they are strong in nature. Their devotion to love, their honesty, decency, excellent listening skills, positivity etc are most evident and contribute to create a highly empathic individual. The narcissistic traits are less extensive and the few that exist are generally weaker. Accordingly, this prevalence of empathic traits attracts and is attracted to the prevalence of extensive and strong narcissistic traits. They lock together, complementing one another and consequently the Co-Dependent is inexorably drawn to those within the Narcissistic Group, with next to nothing in terms of their own narcissistic traits to act as some kind of repellant.

The Standard Empath may also find themselves shutting down, but more usually they are prevented from reaching a position of complete numbing though the intervention of a third party. Sure enough the toll exacted on the Standard Empath is considerable and has damaging consequences, but, in general, they manage to avoid more often the fate of the Co-Dependent. Instead, rather than giving and giving until shut down occurs (as is the case with the Co-Dependent) the Standard Empath’s performance deteriorates in terms of fuel output in a more gradual fashion which means that when it dips below a threshold of acceptability for our kind, the Standard Empath is also disengaged from. Not so damaged as to be unable to function, the Standard Empath will endeavour to re-connect with our kind, having sufficient energy and ability to do so, but they will be shunned as part of this disengagement until it is time to hoover them. Unaware of what they have been ensnared by and with capabilities improved after a period of respite arising from the disengagement the Standard Empath is sucked back in by the narcissist and thus the narcissistic cycle continues.

The Standard Empath however may also realise that something is wrong, or assisted by third parties and more amenable to listening, takes notice of what these third parties are telling him or her. They have a moment of ‘awakening’ and with that realise that they must remain away from our grip, however hurtful and hard it may be and thus they eventually escape, putting distance between them and our kind.

The Standard Empath has numerous empathic traits and they are of strength but they are generally less in scale compared to the Co-Dependent. The Standard Empath will have numerous narcissistic traits but not especially strong in nature, but they will have more narcissistic traits than the Co-Dependent. Their status as a Standard Empath (along with the fact that there are more Standard Empaths than Co-Dependents) means that Standard Empaths become the bread and butter target for our kind. They too are attracted to us, not with the almost hopeless vulnerability of the Co-Dependent, but they remain not only attracted to our kind but a target.

Finally, there is the Super Empath. The Super Empath is an excellent provider of fuel also and comes with a confidence and a fieriness which proves most tempting to our kind. The Super Empath sees his or her role as helping, fixing, healing and brining goodness to those around them. They have considerable energy, they are capable and their capacity for sustaining our abuses also makes them a considerably attractive prospect. The Co-Dependent can sustain considerable abuse until suddenly, like a light being extinguished, that is it. The Standard Empath also can sustain our manipulations but their slide is slower and more gradual. The Super Empath, blessed with a vast capacity for empathy and goodness is also somebody who can sustain a lengthy campaign of abuse. There is no slide downwards with this individual like the Standard Empath. There is no sudden collapse like the Co-Dependent. Instead the Super Empath goes in to Supernova mode.

The trait make-up of the Super Empath is different from their cousins in the Empathic Group. Whereas the Co-Dependent has strong and many empathic traits with few and low narcissistic traits and the Standard Empath has a greater number of narcissistic traits  and fairly low narcissistic traits but more and quite strong empathic traits, the Super Empath has a different constitution.

The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a significant number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath.

This arrangement is not problematic. Liken the Super Empath’s narcissistic make-up to the light from a candle and their empathic make-up the light from a spotlight. The intensity of the spotlight is so bright that the candle light is barely noticed. Accordingly, the narcissistic element to the Super Empath does not appear. The Super Empath behaves in an empathic way and thus is a target for our kind.

There comes a time however when the sustained abuse and the awareness of the Super Empath reaches a critical point. Rather than switch off or slide into decline, the Super Empath will decide that enough is enough. In some instances, this means that the Super Empath will escape and follow a similar route to that of the Empath and distance themselves from the narcissist.

On other occasions they enter into Supernova mode. When this happens, the Super Empath will dim their empathic traits. This can only be dimming. The empathic traits cannot be shut off as they are wired into the empath’s dna. Moreover, this dimming can only continue for a period of time and is not permanent. The naturally strong empathic nature of the Super Empath means that it will blaze bright again.

However, when this dimming takes places, the gap between empathy and narcissism in the Super Empath lessens so that the narcissistic traits are more prevalent. They do not dominate nor do they take over, but they are allowed to ‘shine’. However, whereas in our kind the application of our narcissistic traits is unfettered since we have no empathic traits and thus these traits are directed in a malevolent, harmful and destructive manner, the Super Empath uses these unleashed narcissistic traits for ‘good’.

This means that they will fight back against our kind and remain in the relationship with us. They will shut off the fuel provision, they will engage in manipulation of us, having learned how to effect it form their accompanying journey with out kind. The Super Empath will wound and wound, striking blow upon blow against the narcissist.  It is worth pointing out that the Super Empath does not necessarily know that they are with a narcissist (they may only realise this later) but rather they know that something is very wrong in the relationship and it must no longer continue.

Thus when some people ask the question

“Can you become a narcissist from being with a narcissist?”


“Can I pick up narcissistic traits from my experience of being entangled with a narcissist?”

The answer remains no.

But, if you find that you are exhibiting such traits and you are deploying them against the narcissist, what has happened is that you are allowing your inherent narcissistic traits to have greater prominence. You keep them under control and you are not allowing them to harm or hurt innocent parties, but rather you are applying them against the narcissist in order to strike back. You always had these traits, you have not gained them by being with us, but what you have learned is how to manipulate from being with us and now you are turning those manipulations against us.

The effect against us is varied.

The Lesser Narcissist will discard immediately with a display of ignited fury as he seeks to escape the turning of the tables. He will need to get away from this empowered Super Empath and find a new primary source straight away. He wants to shrink from this blazing  supernova of power which is causing him considerable difficulty through the cessation of fuel and the wounding from repeated criticism.

The Mid-Range Narcissist will find himself in a tormented loop as he tries to assert control. He will not comprehend truly what is happening. He will not want to lose the Super Empath owing to the fuel provision, but he is finding that his ability to manipulate and the reasonable degree of calculation that he has, is being sorely tested. He will try to assert his control through passive aggressive means, even pleading with the Super Empath to stop and ‘why can’t you be good to me again’? He will roll out the pity plays and sympathy cards in order to try to achieve superiority again. However,  either the Super Empath decides to escape and leaves the Mid-Ranger in a confused and bewildered state or the Mid-Ranger slinks away and discards,unable to sustain the fight and needing a new and far more compliant primary source.

The Greater Narcissist will rail against this insurrection and fight back. He will draw on fuel from alternative sources (usually the IPSS or IPSSs he has in the wings along with fuel form those NISS who are his inner and outer circle friends). He will relish the challenge shown by the Super Empath and a real battle of wills ensues as each combatant deploys manipulation after manipulation against one another. This hammer and tongs clash of the  titans sees the Super Empath applying what they have learned, similar to the apprentice turning on his or her master, as the old hand seeks to slap down the irreverent upstart. The Super Empath may withdraw and escape, satisfied that they have made their mark and scarred the Greater. The Greater may ultimately recognise that only a stalemate (for now) can ensue and breaks off, discarding the Super Empath and focusses on the acquisition of a new primary source (or more likely the promotion of an already ensnared IPSS). The Greater however will not leave matters there. A note will be made to rejoin battle in due course and bring the Super Empath to heel.

Thus the Empathic Supernova is when the Super Empath determines that enough is enough and he or she reduces their empathic traits, allowing the narcissistic traits to come to the fore and in so doing he or she trains their sights on making life difficult, miserable and awkward for the narcissist. This is why our kind proceed with caution with the Super Empath. Their capacity for sucking up the abusive devaluation and their impressive fuel provision is tempting indeed, but reaching the critical point and causing the ignition of the Empathic Supernova can have dire consequences for our kind.

Not for me of course. I relish the challenge and the assertion of hegemonic dominance. Obviously.

24 thoughts on “The Empathic Supernova

  1. Melmel says:

    Thank you HG.
    I have read many of your articles and just today listened to a few of your video files. I’m going to read and watch more because there’s not much out there that parallels the depth of insight along with the ability to communicate it in a way that is understandable and can be applied. My problem is ET and the resulting shit storm that occurs as a result of trying to defend myself while ET is high. When I disconnected from this I was able to not only perceive my situation and really my entire life through the lens of my narcissistic relationships (father lesser, coworker greater, employer something even more nefarious… Ultra?) and had the first really effective event of self-defence that I can remember. I was able to escape for a time, but now am being forced back into the fray so I will be using your insights to help weaponize me as much as possible until I can make my final Escape (hopefully skin relatively intact this time). Logic and patience are the keys at this stage of the game I think; I look forward to hearing more of your material on the war against ET.
    And thank you for providing a forum for discussion where we can get answers and clarification on your material, but also a community of support which is like gold for Empaths though we don’t always take advantage of it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  2. Witch says:

    Have you ever dealt with a supernova situation?
    It would be helpful to have an article which details this phenomenon further as I don’t fully understand it. I’m not a super empath, the most I could do to make a narcs life difficult is to go no contact and I can reduce fuel output by literally ignoring the narcissist and remaining silent and distant while they have their trantrum (I learnt how to “switch off” through having a narc mother.)

    1. Witch says:

      Actually that’s not completely true because when it comes to other people I’m different. I did put my period blood in my mum’s narc BF’s tea and I sent screenshots to my friend’s narc BF’s ex-narc GF evidencing that he cheated on her with several different women (I think she denied him access to the children for a period of time because of that)
      So I do have a little thorn but i don’t go supernova so I would like to know what that is in more depth please.

    2. HG Tudor says:

      Yes I have.

      1. Witch says:

        Damn she must have really done you dirty. I’m gonna need to take notes when that story time is available on gum road

  3. fox says:

    I’ve read this one a few times now and it still makes me feel guilty about how I ended things with my ex-friend. I should have just let him be when I was sure, but I didn’t. I stuck around and subtly jabbed at all his weaknesses for six months before abruptly dropping him while he was still bewildered. It was like a silent game of chess. I don’t typically bother and just move on from people that don’t treat me well, but something about him brought it out of me and I questioned myself for a while after that. It did really feel good at the time but I don’t recommend it. I even asked HG about becoming a narcissist in self defense. Glad for HG, and his EDC and TDC to help me sort it out.

  4. iavillamendoza says:

    Interesting! I discarded the Narc and she was clueless why I agreed to break up with her and that was my final decision. Tried hovering me after 2 days, I gave no response for 5 days. When she sent a message after some days, I replied with a cold shoulder, she was trying to ask questions, attempting to manipulate me, but I just threw the questions at her. She told me it was like she was talking to a a different person. She stopped messaging, but I guess she will come back.
    I guess The Hoover was due to the failure to comply of the new source of supply. I was the IPSS.
    Before the relationship, like I was clueless she is a Narc, I always tell her that once an ex, there’s no reconciliation. She thought she would be an exemption, but hell no! It was a month of no voice/video calling, which was the time she was love bombing a new supply, I just let her do her thing, and called it quits. She even told me she was surprised that I didn’t get mad for breaking up, and sent me long messages explaining things. What I did was sent her an OK message and that was it. I got my own rules that she must follow!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Unfortunately your rules are playing into her hands. You need to impose no contact and understand that what you are doing is contrary to your interests.

      1. Fiddleress says:

        Thank you HG.
        This may explain why I have always been the one who escaped, before being discarded. And it explains other behaviours of mine too.
        My aim now will be to go Supernova for good (if possible), and never look back, but still not have anything to do with Ns in my personal life.

        Now, let us see what counter-manipulations I could come up with against my boss (will have to have her assessed when I have more to go on about her, but everything about her screams ‘Whiny Mid-Ranger here’ !) …

        1. Fiddleress says:

          Oops, I meant to reply to ‘Super element’.

  5. Fiddleress says:

    I have a question, please, HG: is it necessary to be majority Super Empath to go Supernova, or can it happen with only 25% (for instance) of the Super element?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Super element.

      1. blackcoffee30 says:

        I “like” this but WordPress is a hot mess and won’t allow me to like comments. 😡

  6. Fernanda Herrera says:

    Dear Mr. HG Tudor,

    You are truly the only narcissist that will get to heaven (well, and my narcissistic ex as well as I am now able to pray for him after knowing who he really is). I, as a fervent catholic, hope that you do so and will pray for it; imagine, an eternity of “fuel”. Or at least that’s what heaven must seem like to you.

    I’m delighted and absolutely marveled of your over accurate and precise information about the narcissist, as well as very very thankful.

    God bless

    From Mexico, Fer

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  7. Super Tired says:

    Excellent article, HG!
    Reading this I believe I am in super nova mode. I always thought my narc is a mid range, but what you posted here about the greaters reaction describes my narc. I always thought he *could* be a greater if he had $$$$ , but on the other hand he’s not as bright as I imagine greaters are, as you describe them. However, he thinks he’s fecking brilliant. He is intelligent, but strictly in his area of expertise, beyond that, not so much. Also, as far as emotional intelligence, he rates ZERO.

    I didn’t realize he was a narc for decades. There have been things over the years where I asserted myself and he backed off . He is the king of passive aggressive behavior too. I think he senses what might push me over the edge into filing for divorce and I sense he walks a fine line on how far he’ll push me.
    Despite my telling him many times over the years to GTFO if he didn’t knock off his BS , he has never left. He is a COWARD. I find it pathetic that he always neglects to mention that to his whores , instead he portrays me as begging for him to stay. Nothing could be further from the truth.
    I’ve been trying my best to emotionally detach myself from him, but sometimes I have to let him have it right back when he’s raging at me.
    Him and his DLSIPSS bury themselves a little more each day , it both upsets and amuses me . I’m amazed I have been able to keep my mouth shut this long ( it’s not in my nature) , but it was necessary to gather enough dirt to bury them when that day comes.
    I don’t read here every day, I find myself needing to take occasional breaks , your articles are so spot on it makes me feel physically ill.
    The opposite of love is not hate , it’s indifference, and that is what I’m am striving for so I can let go , and kick his arse to a cold hard curb.

  8. Cathy says:

    Finally! An excellent explanation of what I am…A Super Empath. Currently fighting a hell of a battle with my Nex. He isn’t enjoying the fight, nor is he aware that I’m “on to him”. Everything you write is dead-on, every tactic he uses, every nuance of his personality. I’m glad you wrote this article in particular, now I know who I am.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am pleased you found the article interesting Cathy, however you should utilise the Empath Detector Consultation to ascertain what you are.

  9. Sharyn Dorber says:

    Excellent overview thanks HG – so now I finally know what occurred at the end and why – last half of the article was exactly what happened!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  10. Michelle says:

    I am a Super Empath and I relish having the upper hand against the narcissist. I do not suffer from any kind of illusion that AeroNarc is some kind of nice guy beneath it all and I know there is nothing to be “restored.” Every time I see him getting a big dollop of fuel — like today when one of his friends posted on social media about how “blessed” she is to know him — I throw up in my mouth a little bit. Ewww. I look forward to opportunities to twist the knife of control just a little bit, just in ways that he can’t quite put his finger on, that he can’t use to smear me. Actually, I just enjoy not wanting him and not caring what he thinks of me, because that means I’m in control. He tried so hard to gaslight me and I didn’t give an inch and I disposed of him surgically within a matter of minutes, with clinical indifference. There’s an old saying that the person who needs the relationship least is in control of it, and in this case, I certainly need him a lot less than he needs me.

  11. Raina says:

    Wow…thank you for writing. I stumbled upon your insights, which are mind blowing…and makes so much sense. Although still very hard to believe the extents to which a greater narc will go to….
    I am feeling concerned now on how to protect my 2 children. Can I? What steps can I take?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You can. The starting point would be to organise an audio consultation with me so I can understand the current situation that you are in and then provide you with the best advice with regard to this scenario.

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