Manipulated

H.G Tudor - Manipulated e-book cover

You are being manipulated and you may not even know how.
The first stage to combatting the narcissist is to
understand. Understand what the manipulations are that are
used against you and why.
This book will tell you what the most common
narcissistic manipulations are and why they are
used by the narcissist. Acquire this knowledge
and reduce your vulnerability
to the narcissist.
Beat the narcissist and know their machinations.

34 thoughts on “Manipulated

  1. Foreigner74 says:

    This book is great! It’s so specific and accurate that it should be translated in all languages and used as a schoolbook. As you explain in the introduction, this book is extremely useful to recognise not only narcissistic dynamics, but any kind of toxic and abusive relationships. While reading it, I even thought that my ex UMRN had read it and taken inspiration from there. It’s incredible! He used to do the very same things you described so accurately in the examples you made in this book. Thank you , H.G.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you F74, do leave a review on Amazon if you have not already done so.

      1. Foreigner74 says:

        I’ll do it with pleasure!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you for doing so.

  2. Anm says:

    Here is a Narcissist from my past that I completely blocked, and has now been popping up on my social media feeds since covid19.
    I have mentioned this one before on here. Please be advised, this narcissist is not the father of either of my children. I was engaged to be married to, and lived with this narcissist while I was between the ages of 28-29. He is running for office, my family is unfortunately endorsing him, so I unfortunately have to deal with this again. It is safe on my end to present this, I can not be sued to Libel or Slander because he is now a public official due to running again. What I want to present, is a political who is using his birthday, and covid19 as a manipulation, but if you are educated on narcissism, have read HG’s work, you will easily spot that this just highlights his narcissism
    https://vote4vic.com/2020/04/08/vic-williams-celebrates-birthday-filing-nominating-petitions-for-pima-county-supervisor/

  3. Kim e says:

    ANM,
    “Yes . I didn’t mean that I wasn’t. Sorry if you misunderstood”

    Now that I went back and reread your sentence regarding observing empaths and used different semantics, it made perfect sense.

    No need for you to be sorry, but thanks anyways,

  4. Anm says:

    HG, do you know any individuals who work in the media? The reason I ask, today I got hovered by a narc I used to know. He is a news broadcaster here. He was actually smart, and knew he could only hoover me, if he offered me money. A company that does contract work with is station is unavailable, and closed, so he asked me to do the job today. I dont even know what category to put these people in. I have met some people in the media who were super empaths, but there is a certain type of narcissist that flocks to that job. It has to be in the midrange, but they are rebellious in a way. They are smooth talkers, and draw you in. But then they will purposely do small things that are inappropriate, because they insist on looking innocent in public, but rebellious in public. This guy has a $200 haircut, and wears a nice shirt and suit coat at work, his pants are always holey Jean’s because the viewers cant see it. All of the people I have knows always are so inappropriate in public while drunk, and they have no shame. Yet, they have the ability of getting away with it. Do you know what I am talking about?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do know people in the media, but I do not know the individual you describe, but I understand the behaviour referenced.

  5. Anm says:

    Ok. I just read the covid19 book. Out of curiosity, when did you stop publishing through amazon, and what is the benefit of going elsewhere? The set up was different.

    The book was very accurate, and presented what the narcissist won’t allow others to see during this pandemic. I know lockdown rules vary with every country, and here in the USA, it varies by state, but it has been interesting to see narcissist decompensate, and go through different phases the longer we are in lockdown.

    MY SON’S FATHER, MMRN was ok at the beginning of this pandemic. He’s not the most intelligent or informed person, so he stayed in his own controlled world for a while. His employer actually shut down his work before our governor sent out an order. I think at first, he was kind of relieved, thinking that he would get a break from his 40-50 hour a week work schedule, but it has then turned into a downward spiral, and typically what I thought would happen. HE IS ONE OF THOSE CEREBRAL MIDRANGE NARCISSIST who pretend he is sexual. His girlfriend is very beautiful, much younger than him, and she was still in an extended golden period when covid19 hit. Work was an excuse as to why he doesn’t want to have sex. He is always at work, or he will use the excuse that he is too tired for sex, but he doesn’t have that excuse right now. So he has brought in a third party…. pot. Instead of hoarding toilet paper, he is hoarding pot. Anything to calm, pleasure, and keep the girlfriend around. Instead of getting frisky in the bedroom, he will offer her better pot than she could get anywhere else. To say the least, the IPPS is now out of the Golden Period. She is no longer attached, and always on his arm when we do exchanges. She knows he doesn’t really like sex, and she is probably feeling crappy about it, but the pot is probably good for now. I knew this would happen, so I cut back on his parenting time a bit. He asked me why it wasn’t 50/50% time, and normally I am for shared parenting, but I knew this was facade. So I blamed it on the homeschooling, and he was like “ok.” The parenting time he does have, he mostly sends our son to his parents anyways.

    MY DAUGHTERS FATHER, and his attorney are both UPPER LESSER NARCISSIST. HE has family in Italy and New York, so he got the warning a little sooner than the other narcs about a possible lockdown, but the information he was gathering from his own research was highly tainted with conspiracy theories and junk science, so there was no real calculations, just gossip and stories. When the virus just hit USA, I had just served his attorney with a Notice of Appeal from an order regarding finances with our family law case. This kept her engaging with him, and they were fueling each other. He was like Donald Trump, “I only hire the best”, and she was telling him what a bitch i am, and if he gave her money to fight, the Court of Appeals case would be publish and available online, so everyone could see that he is a winner, and I was a loser if they won. So he went for it, and her paperwork she wanted to file was all against the court rules, and unrelated to what we were about to litigate. She was about to spin arguments in all different directions without addressing the topic we were litigating. Love life wise, he was hopping around grabbing ass, asking young women to be his child’s nanny. His fuel levels started to plummet when the Governor ordered that restaurants, bars, and strip clubs close. That was the first to go in our state, and my ex spends a lot of time and money at all of those types of places. My ex would then send our daughter to stay with me more, and he would try to meet up with people. When he was low on fuel one day, he was having physical symptoms, and got needy. I have seen him in this phase. Low enough fuel levels do present as flu like symptoms. He then made an appointment with his primary physician to see if he was sick with covid19. He told me that I could keep our daughter for that day because he believed he was sick and dying. I also didn’t respond in the way he liked, so he lashed out, “TRY BEING A HUMAN BEING FOR ONCE. I AM SICK!”. So I took our daughter more that week. At his appointment, I am sure he did everything he could to get attention and interaction from the staff. He text me later that evening and said, “good news! My doctor said I dont have the virus, and I have also lost 30lbs, and more than healthy than ever!”. He probably was then fueled enough to go out and get laid, to get more fuel. Then everyone started posting their senior pictures on social media to “honor class of 2020”. He got into that. What a great way to get attention, than to post a picture of him from his sexy, athletic days, when he was popular in high school. I am sure he hovered all of his high school friends, and previous girlfriends with it, whether they wanted to see that picture or not. I sure didn’t respond when he sent it to me, and he sent a text that said, “see if our daughter knows who this is.” It was pathetic. Then our governor closed even more businesses and government agencies with an extended lockdown, including schools and court houses. I decided to withdraw the Appeal I filed. I was evaluating too many complications on the horizon. Our oral arguments would have had to be telephonic appearances, deadlines still applied, but it would become more difficult to send papers to the right people, so I withdrew. I believe my ex’s attorney then sent him a final bill, and he didn’t want to pay it, so he asked her to withdraw IMMEDIATELY!!!! and he pay “whenever he would get the chance”. His work then “laid him off”, I have a feeling they wanted to fire him all along, but was afraid he would file an erroneous lawsuit against them, so this was perfect time to let him go softly. His work is an “essential business” so some of his colleagues are still working, just not him, and probably some others who they wanted to let go. I bet he found this insulting. He officially has nothing. Now he has resorted to lashing out, not being accountable when expected, and isolating our daughter with him to keep his prized source of fuel close, and to try to hurt me. He is literally holding on to his dear life.

    One acquaintance of mine, who I met at a charity event, who I know is a SOMATIC MIDRANGE NARCISSIST, is also being deslerate. I never went no contact with him. I have made it a point to only run into him a couple of times a year, and I decided to keep him on fb. He make his money hosting events, from weddings to corporate events, to major public events. He runs around with the local wanna be celebrities. I am only “friends” with him because he also does raise money for good causes for our cmmunity, but he obviously does it for personal gain, so that is a fall back, but still worth it if it helps someone in need. This covid19 hit him hard. I believe he spends money before he even makes it. If he thinks he will make $16,000 next month, he will spend all of it all this month. All of his contracts for events withdrew. A pandemic will kill a party. I saw he posted on Facebook, “who is hiring? I need a job.” I was like, ‘yeah right!’ He then later claimed he applied at grocery stores, and that was a bigger, “yeah right”. Instead, he is hosting events for essential businesses so that they can say they are still open. It’s his only way of keeping up with the one night stands and fuel, I doubt he is making any real cash now. I believe he is doing whatever he can to keep the party going, like offering to write an article about a restaurant that is only open for carry out food, and he can then invite a female to eat and have drinks at the only restaurant in town open at the moment. As a matter of fact, he sent me a message on FB messenger today trying to make plans to see me tonight. I didn’t respond, so he tried to call me on my cell, which I also let go to vm. Should i be flattered he asked me out of all women in our town? No. My first name begins with the letter A, and i believe he literally is so desperate, he is just going through his contacts in alphabetical order, trying to see which woman would risk getting the corona virus for a little night of fun. NOT ME.

    My ex mother-in-law, Overwhelming Angel/ MMRN (like her son). When the virus first hit, she was worried right away. The house that she lives in was a gift from her parents. She is from Georgia, she is a traditional Christian Methodist, and she has always believed in doing things like she was raised to do. She has lived in AZ since 1980, but still fakes a southern accent to make sure everyone knew she is a southern belle. My sons school announced that they were first going to extend spring break from one week, to two. I called and told her this to just pass the info along. This alone put her in panic mode. I told her that instead of 2 weeks of spring break, I would be suggesting to her son that we do one week spring break as planned, and he would homeschool instead for the second week. I then told her that there would also be a chance that school may get canceled for the rest of the year, so I would be preparing my son to homeschool the rest of the semester just in case. I later posted on Facebook that my son was excited to be doing homeschool. She flipped! Her world turned upside down. When this happens the mask comes off. She no longer has a southern accent, does doesn’t have a soft smile, she turns into a wicked queen. She made my son call me once when he was visiting her. I could tell she forced him to tell me, “mom, when this is all over, I want to go back to school. I only want to be homeschooled for one week.” I was like “of course, son. Homeschooling is so not normal.” I knew she was listening in. She has been having her daughter and my son visit her during this to keep her happy. Today is her and her husband’s 40th wedding anniversary. She has decided to spend it with my son. Her husband can be there, and in the background, but my son gives better positive fuel so it’s the best way to celebrate right now.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am pleased you enjoyed it. I have not stop publishing on Amazon, I provide my books on Amazon and through the Gumroad site (more books will be added there as time progresses)

      1. Kim e says:

        HG. Where can I find the book? I looked on amazon My boxed wine is waiting

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Which book? I have many!

          1. Kim e says:

            HG. The covid one. I thought Amn said she read it

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Yes, she has read the Narcissist and Covid-19.

    2. WhoCares says:

      Anm,

      That was interesting insight into the narcs in your life during Covid19. Thanks for sharing.

      1. Anm says:

        WhoCares,
        You actually read all of that?! Lol. Thanks for reading. Do you have anything odd going on lately?

        1. WhoCares says:

          Anm,

          I did read it all! I find your experiences interesting and don’t envy your legal dealings with your narcs – amazing the way you juggle two of them. And you’re very level-headed about it, I admire that.

          I don’t really have any odd stuff to report because I am mostly no contact with my narcissists – so if they are doing out of the normal stuff, I don’t hear about it.
          My ex’s access has now been reduced somewhat as a result of Covid19 but I don’t hear about how that’s affecting him because it is all through third parties. Some of the fallout of that is he gets more information about me and my circumstances but very little.
          I will let you know if anything really odd happens though!

          (I also like to hear of you’re experienced with court and leaders because I have a RL friend dealing with a similar situation.)

          1. WhoCares says:

            “leaders” – haha.
            Damn auto correct.

            *lessers*

            Obviously should not type and homeschool simultaneously.

          2. Anm says:

            Whocares,
            Well you are not missing out that’s for sure. My sons dad and I actually never hardly talk. Maybe once a month. I hear what is going on from my son, I see bits of it at exchanges, and I kid you not that he is just replaying the relationship to the t of what went on in our relationship. I didn’t smoke pot with him, it was other vices, same ordeal though.

          3. WhoCares says:

            Anm,

            No, I don’t suspect I am missing out on anything! I found the part about replacing sex with pot interesting. I also find the differences between upper lessers and lower mid-ranger of interest (my ex is LMRN).
            Your upper lesser reads so much like my friend’s ex, these words could have been taken straight out of his mouth: “TRY BEING A HUMAN BEING FOR ONCE. I AM SICK!”

    3. Ashley says:

      Anm, very interesting. I really enjoyed reading this.

    4. Kim e says:

      Anm . Holy shit!!!’ How you still function as well as you do is a testament to your strength. Your children are very lucky to have you
      Keep on keeping on🌹

      1. Anm says:

        Kim e,
        Thank you! I am the lucky one to have them. My whole point is, that this pandemic is like the lottery, its bringing out everyone’s true self×10. It’s also amusing observing the empaths. It’s not more apparent which ones are the Saviors, the Codependents, the Magnetics, etc. The empaths have inspired me, and are so fascinating

        1. Kim e says:

          Anm,
          I am sorry. Are you not an empath?

          1. Anm says:

            Yes . I didn’t mean that I wasn’t. Sorry if you misunderstood

    5. MommyPino says:

      That was funny about your ex MIL’s accent disappearing when the mask comes off. My MMR sister also had a fake Mid-Atlantic accent that came off whenever she sang. But whenever she lectured me the accent gets stronger like I was being lectured by a British aristocrat.

      Not sure what her problem about homeschooling is. It’s not like you’ll have a choice when they close the school down.

      Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Good luck and take care. Stay strong.

      1. Anm says:

        Thanks, MommyPino.
        Come to recall, I remember you mentioning that about your ex MIL. What’s funny, is that Atlantic Accents are fictional to begin with. When you watch old movies where the actors spoke that way, they had acting and voice coaches who instructed them on how to speak that way. It was a way to be cool, cultured, and melodramatic. I do like that accent though. I do have a lot on my plate. But I have a lot of help, and doing well.

        1. MommyPino says:

          Lol I remember you commenting too when I first posted that story here. She was my half sister. When she told my husband that her accent is the Mid-Atlantic, my husband asked her sarcastically if she grew up in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. She said that she learned the accent when she went to a film school in London for two years and it stayed with her since then. It’s funny how some narcissists keep an accent because it’s part of how they make themselves stand out like your ex MIL and my sister lol.

          I’m happy that you’re getting help and support. Support does make a big difference. I have no doubt that you can handle it all and glad to know that you are doing well.

    6. BabyEmms says:

      ANM, you certainly have been surrounded by narcs of all kinds! My ex narc is similar to your daughter’s father & also your acquaintance. He is struggling with lockdown BIG TIME. He also spent money before it was earned, if he was due payment of £40k next month (although he would have thousands to pay his employees & invoices from it) he would go on an elaborate spending spree, whole new designer wardrobe, gifts for me & his kids, take me on an over indulgent night out (I would protest at this and ask him to be sensible and I didn’t care about fancy nights out, I would have been happy in an empty room with him tbh)

      Since lockdown he is out of business, out of hookups with random females, is in a serious amount of debt, has 4 court cases coming up for them. He can’t see his own kids and has shacked up with a single Mum he met for sex just before lockdown & as he has nowhere else to live and not a penny to his name, he is using her for a roof/food/sex/fuel. He called me last week crying his eyes out saying his life is now locked down/over. He’s looking a a 3 year prison sentence for serious tax fraud, his house has been repossessed and he is literally at rock bottom. I was almost tempted to say “come live with me babe & we’ll sort it all out together” and felt sorry for him. If I hadn’t found this site and read so many stories from people like yourself I probably would have, not a chance in hell now.
      And I know he will be online scouting for new/better supply while this poor woman probably still thinks he’s a keeper, like you say, they go through their contacts 1 by 1. No doubt some other empath, then another, then another will get him through his dire situation and he will most likely land on his feet again and come up smelling of roses. So grateful to see it clearly now & be almost out the other side of the trauma & devastation of the past 6 months since discard. NEVER AGAIN.
      Thanks for sharing your experiences, it really helps me for one! X

      1. Anm says:

        Babyemms,
        Thank You! Sorry, just now saw your response. Everything you described sounds about right. The acquaintance narc i mentioned in this post, did the exact same thing. He invited me to contribute to a fundraiser he was organizing for the Navajo Nation (Indian Reservation). Long story short, they have been heavenly impacted by Covid19. According to him, he lost over half a million US dollars in a month during the first part of the lockdown. He so he did the same thing you mentioned. He eventually shacked up with a very beautiful women, who took care of him, and distracted him from his misery. She FB friend requested me. I could sense when he left her, because she started post about how “men never commit to a good woman”. I don’t think she knew what he was. My daughters father is in the crisis mode that I have seen Sam Vaknin mention a lot, HG briefly has mentioned it. Where a Narcissist has lost one thing, and decides to sabotage all other areas to get a false sense of freedom. So because he lost his job, and has been dealing with a State Lockdown, he is now refusing to find a new job in our city. He wants to move, he wants a new life, he sends me text that he wants to get rid of me and my involvement with our daughter. He keeps calling the police on me, and the police instead have to deal with a narcissist having a melt down. I am meeting with an attorney tomorrow to have her deal with him, so I wont have to think too hard about it.
        I, an Empath, doing well with this Covid19. Our Governor lifted our state ban this week. A friend and I are opening a Wellness Center in a very upscale neighborhood, for very little money. The community has shown a lot of interest in it. So we will see.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Anm
          Wishing you much success with your business venture and new focus.

        2. WhoCares says:

          Anm,

          “A friend and I are opening a Wellness Center…”

          What a wonderful thing!
          Good luck 💜

          1. Anm says:

            Thank you. Aiming for May 25th

        3. wildviolet22 says:

          Anm-

          “I don’t think she knew what he was. My daughters father is in the crisis mode that I have seen Sam Vaknin mention a lot, HG briefly has mentioned it. Where a Narcissist has lost one thing, and decides to sabotage all other areas to get a false sense of freedom.”

          Interesting, was this person a lesser? Do you (or anyone reading) remember what article talks about this behavior?

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