Parasite

PARASITE

 

You fed off me and I am sick of it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my magnetism, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am magnanimous I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to annoy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself.

You saw my charm, my attractiveness, my easy manner with people and how they are drawn to me and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted some of that. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my impeccable reputation, my scintillating presence and my esteemed connections.

I do not blame you for wanting to be associated with me, who would not? Who would not want such a slice of the action as me? The opportunity to move in circles that you had never experienced before. The chance to be somebody. The time to clamber upwards from the tedious life you led and the doldrums in which you festered.

I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to be a part of that world. You certainly did become part of that world as well. You enjoyed my extraordinary largesse as you accepted my gifts, my invitations and my cold hard cash. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places.

You were granted access all areas. You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being.

I allowed your friends and family to become part of my entourage, they certainly had no qualms about getting on the gravy train did they? You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places once again.

You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were always only ever my friends. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking.

Is it little wonder that my irritation became annoyance? That my annoyance became fury? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I had to stop this. I had to find someone who would give rather than take and that meant I had to be rid of you. That is why I chose someone else to escape your leeching and draining behaviour. That is why I cast you aside. You are a parasite.

 

You fed off me and I am sick with it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my goodness, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am the kind and caring person that I pride myself on being, I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to destroy me. You cannot deny this is what you are.

The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my compassion, my attractiveness, my empathic manner with people and how they respond to such kindness and love and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted all of that for yourself. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my gushing compassion, my reflective presence as my emotional nature. I do not blame you for wanting to be with me, who would not when they are a creature like you?

Who would not want such to erode me slice by slice? The opportunity to move yet again in circles that you had experienced before. The chance to be make yourself feel like somebody for once. The time to clamber upwards from the empty life you lead and the chasm which threatens to engulf you. I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to make me part of you by swallowing me up.

You certainly did make me become part of you as I struggle to remember most days who I am and what I was before I met you. You enjoyed my extraordinary love as you accepted my attentiveness, my invitation into my heart and my warm, loving nature. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places. You were granted access all areas to who I was and you saw no reason to ever respect my identity.

You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised and even when you began to abuse me, I never wavered from that. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being. I allowed my friends and family to become part of your facade, they certainly had no qualms about forgetting me following your smear campaigns did they?

You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places in side my soul once again. You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were my friends until you banished them. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking.

Is it little wonder that my confusion became despair? That my despair became desperation? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I need to find a way to stop this, but I can’t seem to. You won’t stop.  I have to find someone who will give rather than take and that means I need to be rid of you.

I know this has to happen but I feel I cannot escape you, you have drained and leeched from me to such an extent that I am barely able to think and function. That is why I need to cast you aside but how can I when you will not let me go and you will not stop causing me to love you. You are a parasite.

Who is the parasite. You, me or both of us?

The parasite is the one who benefits at the expense of the other.

Who is the parasite?

8 thoughts on “Parasite

  1. mollyb5 says:

    Yes. That is what a Narc feels about others all the time. He feels that about work ..he feels it about his children , he feels it about his Primary …Even when he is actually the taker . He feels it when he is lacking in fuel . He thinks it when he owes money to someone that he has to pay back because he borrowed it in the first place. He feels this towards the federal government when he has to pay taxes . He feels it when he “has to “ enjoy something he didn’t choose …he feels controlled. But of course these men or narc women don’t say anything to others when they feel this way…as long as fuel and attention is given . Empaths don’t see that he feels you are a parasite ….because in the Narc the majority are lessers and mid rangers and they will not express they actually feel this way !

  2. CL-E says:

    This sounds pretty much exactly what my husband would think of me.. but it’s never occurred to me to think about him in those terms .. plenty of others, but never that. My failure, maybe, as it’s certainly very difficult to feel anything other than negative emotions when you hear the word parasite. Hey, great CBT opportunity, Mr Tudor… for times when acceptance isn’t really there.. Thanks.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  3. Jo Krulas says:

    I suppose the last statement about the writer “needing to love” the menace seems cruel, but no. A real narcissist does exactly this, stirs an “attachment” from another because they know any relation with a normal person over long enough of time, will form a bond usually involving “loving” feelings, from just getting to know someone and with the narcisist, usually those so called love feelings are just feeling sorry for them. A real narcissist exaggerates every relationship, in place of reality.

  4. Jo Krulas says:

    I just don’t think Hd tudor is a narcissist the more I read these. The story begins with feelings of betrayal and feeling used, so I just don’t believe a real narcissist is cognitively able to tap into those kinds of emotion, etc. Sorry HD.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Don’t be sorry. Just shows how easy it is to understand your kind and to emulate it. That is why I am so successful in what I do.

      1. Jo Krulas says:

        Well it doesn’t sound successful if you’re attracted to parasite type people, and believe, I’m not one of “your kind” as I don’t need anyone to live and breathe off of! I just still maintain that your Parasite story sounds like a typical story of a co-dependent relationship where both parties are at a loss; both giving and taking empty exchanges of feigned affection.

    2. Violetta says:

      I suspect many Narcissists were betrayed and used early in their lives, and they’re buggered if they’re ever going to let it happen again. Instead, they go around doing it to everybody else.

      It’s a zero-sum game.

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