The Heart Hooks No. 1 – Narc Sayings of Seduction
(This is a meme. There is no accompanying text.)
Did the narcissist say this to you? How was it conveyed, when was it conveyed and what was your response?
Do you believe in the concept of soulmates? If this phrase (or similar) was said to you, how did it make you feel? What did you believe by it?
14 thoughts on “The Heart Hooks No. 1 – Narc Sayings of Seduction”
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I looked up Twin Flame to see how it differs from Soul Mate.
That’s not sex. That’s masturbation, but without the freedom from risk of pregnancy and STDs.
This is interesting. He said that in the early years. Found a twin flame meme he showed me. Then I started believing it on some level, but I always said it was a spiritual way of defining two people in a relationship with attachment disorders. The idea that it’s spiritual causes deeper trauma bonding, I think. Towards the end I clung to it trying to believe he would stop abusing everyone.
My narc and I never used the term soul mates, though I did go down a rabbit hole involving twin flames, runners and chasers, etc. at one stage 😛 I traveled down many paths before I found you, HG!
Anyway, we used to always talk about ‘synchronicity’. Which could probably relate to soul mates in a way. And we had plenty of it. Not all of it manufactured. And there was a sense of the stars aligning simply because it wasn’t manufactured. An earlier marriage should have taught me that stars simply do not align that way.
I’m not going to go down that rabbit hole here, especially as rabbit holes were part of our lexicon as well.
I’ve never had a narc say this to me Rather, I suspect they wouldn’t dare.
One got close. Hopefully hes dead now.
I am ashamed to say that although I never uttered the words (I wouldn’t), I did think at first that N-ex could be my soul mate. Just goes to show my ET was sky-high, because I do not normally think in terms of soul mates.
He never said the words either, but he repeatedly stated that our relationship was ‘wonderful’, and that the fact we had met was ‘not anodyne’. Which I view as pretty close to saying we were soul mates.
Now this is an interesting word, ‘anodyne’: I looked for the etymology and found it was a medical term that meant “no pain”. Something which is anodyne takes away the pain, WITHOUT curing the illness that causes it.
Our relationship was indeed not anodyne: it did not take away the pain – rather it made it fire up, the pain that addictions cause in the end – but it has led me to narcsite, i.e the means to cure the illness (the addiction), or at least keep it in check.
I felt like i wanted to vomit in my own mouth and swallowed it so hard that i felt all the vomit in my gut (might have actually done that) and suffocated in his car. ughh i still get chills..
Neither of my ex narcs used the term. They both found it nauseating, and I’d actually have to agree on this. Soul mates has become cheesy and has been for some time. The saying is linked to folk who tend to turn out to be bad partnership material- narcissists. They didn’t want to be seen as one of those. It sets alarm bells even in non knowing people. It sits alongside the use of ‘free spirit’ ‘lovable rogue’ and ‘rough diamond’……
You’d be surprised then how many people still fall for it, it is commonly mentioned when people submit Narc Detectors. You identify two other euphemisms which mislead people, good call.
Should I start demanding love bombing just so people have to work harder? Or would that coupled with chores run them off? Is it one or the other, or can I hit for both bases? Thoughts?
Lorelei, I’ve never been love bombed either. I’m not a hearts and flowers person though, so maybe that’s why. Keep your expensive gifts, flowers and chocolates. Protestations of undying love sound fake to me. I am actually a love devotee, just not in that way.
Maybe the fact we are bomb proof is the reason we haven’t been love bombed?
I do have one that did work and continues to do so. It’s the comment that has thus far prevented me moving to no contact.
“You’ll leave before I do.” ( not aggressive, not matter of fact, more, sad resignation)
If anyone can help blast this one out of the water, I think it’s the key link in the chain. HG is this the Saviour side of me getting in my way?
dolly, i always though this weird when guys would try and say this. when the mid range N i ended up with started saying this during his seduction attempts. I found it weird sill, told him to fuck off etc etc etc. I’m not usually that blunt but he was not taking the hint. this carried on for six bloody months! Eventually he worked out what my weakness was and I fell for him and he continued saying this pre devaluation and I wondered then if it could be true.ewwwwy.
I thought you’d turned into Pitbull at first!
Alexis—your eyes are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen… The stars twinkle within their light. Ewww.. See, I expect compliments so I’m not phased by them. Next.. Haha. No, seriously—my weakness is probably good to explore. What is it? What was it? I have thoughts and maybe surprisingly they are now entirely different. And they are. What seemed important “then” was the cookie cutter up and coming young couple with a slew of kids. Looks good means it is good, right? Automaton style auto pilot. Remember, it looked good growing up so it had to be ok at home. Paste on a smile and shut up. What happened was a husband with a serious gambling issue that led to his financial ruin. He has reinvigorated his financial health and honestly I’m grateful because the kids can peck at him for college and weddings. I purposely plotted something in the divorce decree to almost insist on this. I’m not totally dumb—he was focused on control and I was focused on fine print and planning. (Non instinctively so if I’m a narc I’m upper mid!) Or am a lesser greater since my facade is failing me at times?!
My current vulnerability is someone that is very bright, interesting, and good in bed. I don’t want to marry them or live with them. Problem is—many narcs have a degree of success and are interesting. Many normals almost kinda check out and go fishing after a certain point. It’s tough. Shall we dance? You know you are the most uncommonly pretty girl in the dance floor my love..
The MMRN used to say “I’m an enigma wrapped in a conundrum” in a jovial self-deprecating way.
After about the third time he used that exact phrase (when I was confronting him about confusing behavior), I started to realize something was very wrong with him…..in retrospect its typical MRN language, gag