Parasite
You fed off me and I am sick of it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my magnetism, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am magnanimous I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to annoy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself.
You saw my charm, my attractiveness, my easy manner with people and how they are drawn to me and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted some of that. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my impeccable reputation, my scintillating presence and my esteemed connections.
I do not blame you for wanting to be associated with me, who would not? Who would not want such a slice of the action as me? The opportunity to move in circles that you had never experienced before. The chance to be somebody. The time to clamber upwards from the tedious life you led and the doldrums in which you festered.
I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to be a part of that world. You certainly did become part of that world as well. You enjoyed my extraordinary largesse as you accepted my gifts, my invitations and my cold hard cash. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places.
You were granted access all areas. You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being.
I allowed your friends and family to become part of my entourage, they certainly had no qualms about getting on the gravy train did they? You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places once again.
You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were always only ever my friends. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking.
Is it little wonder that my irritation became annoyance? That my annoyance became fury? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I had to stop this. I had to find someone who would give rather than take and that meant I had to be rid of you. That is why I chose someone else to escape your leeching and draining behaviour. That is why I cast you aside. You are a parasite.
You fed off me and I am sick with it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my goodness, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am the kind and caring person that I pride myself on being, I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to destroy me. You cannot deny this is what you are.
The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my compassion, my attractiveness, my empathic manner with people and how they respond to such kindness and love and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted all of that for yourself. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my gushing compassion, my reflective presence as my emotional nature. I do not blame you for wanting to be with me, who would not when they are a creature like you?
Who would not want such to erode me slice by slice? The opportunity to move yet again in circles that you had experienced before. The chance to be make yourself feel like somebody for once. The time to clamber upwards from the empty life you lead and the chasm which threatens to engulf you. I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to make me part of you by swallowing me up.
You certainly did make me become part of you as I struggle to remember most days who I am and what I was before I met you. You enjoyed my extraordinary love as you accepted my attentiveness, my invitation into my heart and my warm, loving nature. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places. You were granted access all areas to who I was and you saw no reason to ever respect my identity.
You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised and even when you began to abuse me, I never wavered from that. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being. I allowed my friends and family to become part of your facade, they certainly had no qualms about forgetting me following your smear campaigns did they?
You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places in side my soul once again. You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were my friends until you banished them. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking.
Is it little wonder that my confusion became despair? That my despair became desperation? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I need to find a way to stop this, but I can’t seem to. You won’t stop. I have to find someone who will give rather than take and that means I need to be rid of you.
I know this has to happen but I feel I cannot escape you, you have drained and leeched from me to such an extent that I am barely able to think and function. That is why I need to cast you aside but how can I when you will not let me go and you will not stop causing me to love you. You are a parasite.
Who is the parasite. You, me or both of us?
The parasite is the one who benefits at the expense of the other.
Who is the parasite?
This is a tough question for me.
I think it might depend on which narcissist is asking the question too.
It sounds like the Greater in some parts, reference to largesse and the bringing of the empath into a materialistic lifestyle etc. Then in other parts, it sounds very Mid Range. The belief in oneself being a ‘good’ person for example.
The Greater knows what he’s doing. He is an emotion eater pure and simple. He manipulates to get what he wants. He is quite happy to buy affection, friendship and loyalty in order to achieve the Prime Aims. Speculate to accumulate. So to me, he is always the parasite.
The Mid Ranger isn’t acting by calculation. He believes himself to be good, his negative behaviours appear justified to him due to his narcissism. Conceivably then he could perceive himself as the victim and see the empath as a parasite. His moves being instinctive not calculated.
It depends on perspective I think. Ours or theirs.
I like BC30’s comment too though. Empaths self fuel, so no need ever to be a parasite. Narcissists don’t self fuel, so in this sense will always require a host. That said, there will be some women that are seduced heavily by the material side of a relationship rather than a need for fuel itself. She gets the big house and nice car, he makes her pay for it by using her as he sees fit.
It’s an interesting question isn’t it?
HG, this will sound like a ridiculous question, just to clarify, when you speak about love (all narcissists) it’s not the emotion that you feel it’s the fuel you receive from the reaction and interaction with S/O. Or is it infatuation and lust or can you genuinely feel some kind of love before devaluation and discard. (For anyone else reading this who perhaps would like to respond with a smart comment, please don’t. We are all at different levels of understanding and knowledge and I’m grateful for HG’s feedback, no matter how hard I try to get my head around all the info, I apply logic, when I know it shouldn’t be). Sorry if the question seems mundane HG, but to me it’s not and you have no idea how much even the smallest piece of info helps to gain a large piece of clarity. Thank you.
See Is It Love? https://gum.co/FigZz
It is not a mundane or ridiculous question at all. The answer lies within that Logic Bulletin.
You will also find this useful too Understanding Emotional Empathy https://gum.co/WiqmV
Thank you HG
You are welcome
The parasite cannot survive without the host. So, who really needs the other?
The trick is to get the host to believe they cannot live without the parasite.
I think it’s been proven here time and time again.
For the co-dependent there probably is an element of symbiosis.
It’s an interesting concept to apply to narcissistic relationships.
I’m 0% CD on my EDT, so my perception is skewed perhaps. The host may be fooled, but it’s not a symbiotic relationship. I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree on this one.
These are from two perspectives. Two different stories equal Two different worlds coming together as one.
I love these narrative and counternarrative posts. They engage the perspectives of each of the players and it’s important in understanding where each is coming from … the narcissist and the empath.
This is a very clever technique, HG, and I believe both can be considered parasites as they are presented here – from the perspective of each.
You are challenging us to use our critical thinking abilities by offering an opposing point of view. But you are not leaving us defenceless as our own perspective is very neatly offered in return.
Well done again in causing us to think and not just react.
Correct and thank you.
From a narcissistic point of view – gaslighting someone who is not narcissistic.
From an empath point of view – only if they get past the emotional thinking, this is what a non-narcissistic could be thinking and if they understand the mind of a narcissistic. SHOULD be thinking in the words of HG.
Correct me if I’m wrong HG.
This one piece of writing could be viewed from both points of view…….
It’s one for you to workout, not one where I’ll correct you if you’re wrong.
Dead on accurate, you must have dated my boyfriend.
Well, yes, but what you have described actually sounds more akin to an unstable symbiotic state than a parasite.
You need and feed on one another until the best of each other is eaten away, then one discards the other so you can both move on to the next meal.
Bobbi
I feel my friend, you have lots to.learn…
Don’t we all though? Otherwise, why would we be here?
The longer I live, and the more I learn, is the more I realize that I don’t know shit.
However, that was only my particular interpretation and thoughts based on my own experiences. I don’t expect anyone to agree or share my perspective, as my perspective is my own.