Along Came A Spider

ALONG-CAME-A-SPIDER

I have made mention of how the advancements in technology have provided my kind and I with a smorgasbord of methods to carry out our works. From seduction to manipulation the freedom that comes with wifi and a functioning device provides is with a wealth of opportunity. My web can be spread wide over the….well the web. How apt it is that the pioneers of the internet decided on the appellation of world wide web. The electronic blanket which encapsulates this planet is indeed a web. A perilous place which readily ensnares the unwary.

From chatrooms, to text messaging, through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, e-mail and dating sites, the internet has proven to be bountiful in its riches for my kind. Of course, this vast array of different hunting grounds can only be of benefit to the seasoned hunter. You can fill a river with salmon but if you do not know how to fish then you will not catch anything. Of course, I know how to fish, to shoot, to spear and to hunt. My mastering of the tools of manipulation enables me to sniff out my prey in moments and like a lion tracking a bison, drag them to the ground and eat them from behind before they even realise what has happened to them.

Have you ever seen the expression on a felled bison or buffalo as a predatory lion gorges on their flesh? It is not pain, it is not frustrated struggle but an almost blissful ignorance to what is actually happening. They seem unaware that they are being devoured. It is so similar for my victims. They smile and purr even as I am taking chunks from them because that is the high level of my skill.

Thus the internet has become my hunting ground and my various manipulative machinations are given a good run out amidst the waiting and willing victims. There is one thing however that always works in this electronic shop window and that is the art of conversation.

My early forays in chatrooms bore fruit so incredibly quickly. Even I was taken aback at how easy it was. So many times I read comments such as

“It is such a lovely change to meet someone who can hold a conversation.”

“You are so charming and interesting, you actually hold a conversation than saying hi babe wanna shag?”

“You are clearly intelligent and interested in me. I am not used to that. So many of the men on here just want a picture of my boobs or want to send me a dick pic, you are not like that.”

Naturally, I was not engaged in conversations with men so I do not know if there is a boorish equivalent amongst the female ranks. Certainly in all my conversations I never came across any lady whose opening gambit was to offer a picture of her genitals. I take the view therefore that it is the male of the species that is letting you down. They are certainly not letting me down. By populating chat rooms and dating sites and trotting out such Neanderthal lines these men are increasing my currency.

The fact I can talk about a variety of subjects, ask pertinent and engaging questions and avoid suggesting a bunk up in the first ten mintues meant that I really was the desired exception. The idiots, the perverts and the inarticulate all made me look even better than I already did (yes I know that may be hard to believe!) and thus when I came sashaying into view I was greeted with utter delight by those I interacted with. Even if I had no interest in someone, I was hard pressed not to attract them, by virtue of being able to string sentences together and not engage in demands for instant sexual congress (of course that would come later when I was always pushing on an open door).

Time and time again I heard reports of the pathetic and ill-mannered behaviour of men in these arenas. I expressed dismay and castigated them for it but all the while I celebrated for so long as they continued in this vein it meant all the more eager and willing victims for me.

Those weak and pathetic spiders would soon curl up and die for there was only one giant walking through the net.

Along came a spider but this one could hold a conversation.

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5 thoughts on “Along Came A Spider

  1. December Infinity says:

    Insightful. I can relate to past experience of trying to chat with men on dating sites, queries on Facebook and chat rooms. Absolutely inept and many cannot hold a decent conversation. There are too many of these predators lurking out there. I am off the grid for the time being and not even considering dating sites for quite a while as I need time to regroup. I think a large standing order of Raid is required to kill off the numerous internet spiders.

  2. CurlyMe says:

    Showing a picture of the female genitals would indeed not work HG. All men have the urge to hunt, although not in the same sense as your kind ofcourse. But offering anything up for grabs never works. Being too nice and go along is neither. In my opinion it is all about creating enough intrigue, and being at least a bit more exciting than the average woman going about in those areas. That is not a very hard thing to do, because men too have their complaints about the quality of the general female crowd in dating areas, you know.

    Standing out from the crowd is all it takes to book Immediate succes.

    Boorish equivalents amongst the females you asked, not so much. More the plain boring zero challenge equivalent I think.

    But your equivalent amongst the females is surely present too. Since we are speaking in terms of spiders, I think that is what they call the black tarantula… 😉

  3. lickemtomorrow says:

    Give me a man that can hold a conversation any day.

    No wonder you are a giant (spider) among them, HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed.

  4. lisk says:

    “You are so charming and interesting, you actually hold a conversation than saying hi babe wanna shag?”

    Now I know that this is worse than someone who is upfront about what they want in the first place.

    Much worse.

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