10 Seductive Sentences Used By the Narcissist

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What is really meant when we say these words.

1. I love you and I always have

My need to seduce you is considerable and therefore I will use language which will appeal to you and be so outlandish that it will blow you away. I do not actually love you. I do not love in the way that you do. I understand that the closest I come to it is infatuation. I am not in fact infatuated with you but more precisely with what you can do for me. My needs are paramount. Yours are largely irrelevant. I write irrelevant because I do take them into account during the seduction but after that they are thrown to one side. I love the fact you fuel me, allow me to steal traits of your for my own use and you give me shelter, meals and money.

2. We are soulmates

I know you are a big believer in emotional concepts such as love, spirituality and the soul. I need to tap into that and I need to do so quickly. I want to suggest that our love goes beyond this earthly plane on which we stand and it is something all the more ethereal and noble. That ought to impress you and cause you to become bound to me. I am not your soul mate, I am here to steal your soul because I do not have one.

3. I have not loved anyone like this before

There will be half a dozen willing witnesses who will testify to the contrary. In my world however I have deleted them from my mind (except when I fancy hoovering them and triangulating them with you for some extra fuel) and there was nothing like what I feel for you now. They are defunct and redundant, an unfortunate reminder of an abuser who trapped me. They do not matter now, you are all that matters to me now, your fuel, to be accurate, is all that matters to me now.

4. I want us to be together forever

There is no want about it. We are already locked together forever. You may not think this and indeed somewhere along the line you will want to escape me, although quite why that is when you are the problem, is beyond me. Anyway, that is for later. Right now you have agreed (although you will never recall having said such words to that effect) to remain my property for the rest of your life. This means that everything you own, have and are now belongs to me and I will deal with it in whatever fashion I see fit. I will use and abuse you over and over again as this is my right. Just when you think I have disappeared I will be back more. This is a life-long covenant.

5. We have so much in common

What a wonderful occurrence, such serendipity that everything you like I like as well. Even better, all the things that you do not like, I do not like either. It as if we are two halves of one perfect person. That is exactly what I see because all I will do is mirror you. I have spent time watching you, observing you, finding out about you from friends and scouring your internet footprint in order to learn as much as I can about you so that I can present myself as mirror image. I actually cannot stand listening to Coldplay but that isn’t going to stand in the way of my replication so I seduce you with incredible speed and ease.

6. I hate it when we are apart

A rare nugget of truth here. I do hate it when we are apart but not  for the reasons I have made you think. You think it is because I miss the wonderful, kind, humorous and delightful you. I actually miss all that positive fuel you supply me with when we are together as you are taken in by this illusion that I have created. Moreover I hate the fact that when I am not with you I cannot control your environment and I am concerned that with space to think and breathe you may just see through what I am doing or even worse, you may listen to one of your so-called friends who will be whispering in your ear and briefing against me. I don’t want your head turned elsewhere. I want it looking at me. Always.

7. Nobody can love you the way I do.

Amazingly another piece of truth. Nobody else can love you in this way because none of it is real. This is all made-up in order to attract you and bind you to me because if you saw what I was really like (not that I would ever allow that to happen) you would run screaming and never return. Accordingly, I will love you in a way that you are unlikely to have experienced before by deluging you with desire and then nearly destroying you through malice and vitriolic hatred. Told you I was special.

8. I can’t believe we have only just met. I feel like I’ve known you forever. Let’s live together.

It feels familiar to me because you are giving me positive fuel just like your predecessor and the one before her and the one before her as well. I do not distinguish between you, not really, because you are all appliances to me which I want to ensnare and then drain as you pump out delicious fuel for me to consume. I say this though to make you feel special and because I am obviously so wonderful and brilliant you will be thrilled that someone like me wants to live with you. This will make you grab this marvellous opportunity before you lose it and then I have ensnared you.

9. I need you. I want you. I love you.

Sounds dramatic and romantic doesn’t it? Makes you feel as if everything is focussed on you and I could not live without you. Notice how many times I used the word “I”? That’s because this is all about me and nothing to do with you save for what you can do for me. I really mean that I need your fuel, I want your fuel and I love your fuel.

10. You have saved me.

Yet more drama straight from the romantic handbook. I know your type. That is why I chose you. You like to fix, heal and save. You will have plenty to do in that regard, believe me, but that will come later. For now what I really mean is that you have saved me having to look anywhere else for fuel. Time to feed.

 

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Red Flag – recognise the tell-tale signs that a narcissist is seducing you.

21 thoughts on “10 Seductive Sentences Used By the Narcissist

  1. Truthseeker6157 says:

    I think 7 might stand an outside chance at the right time in the right context. The rest would turn me off. I’ll say “I love you” but I won’t say it often. When I do say it it won’t be at an expected time either. Only when I really feel it, in that moment. I’m really not narc friendly at all come to think of it.

    Overall, I think I enjoy the uncertainty more than anything. A comment that makes me wonder if he’s into me or not. I like being kept guessing. In many ways the online narc played me just right. Never clarifying, a hint here, a compliment there, then back to normal again. I didn’t find him smothering. Smothering reads as fake to me. He just took the non clarification of what we were too far.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      TS, I never said “I love you” without meaning it to anyone. If I said it, I genuinely meant it. I don’t play with other’s emotions, I never have and never will, because it is not in my nature to do so. I am surprised you say that you “enjoy the uncertainty more than anything” because that, surely, in itself, does not give you (or anyone else for that matter), any ‘stability’ or ‘reassurance’. Are you someone that is ‘content’ to be in a position to be forever in the ‘space’ that does not actually ‘exist’, ie, not in a ‘real’ relationship with a person in person, so to speak? For example, never ‘commit’ yourself to a person that exists in the real world ? Interesting that you say “A comment that makes me wonder if he’s into me or not” as if you are talking about a present ‘circumstance’ – are you still in contact with the online narcissist of your past indirectly?

      Either way, I have cut off, totally the narcissists of my past. Blocked on social media. This blog is the only place where I “speak” of them.

      Absolutely years ago, I did use an online chat and ended up with some guy that wanted to use me as a “halfway house” (his words) and I never ‘followed’ up on it. This was when I bought my first computer. I never felt comfortable – my instincts were “do not go there” – that was 22 years ago. Since then, I stayed away from “online dating”. It screams ‘narcissist’. It’s in person, or not at all. Simples.

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:

        Hey Asp Emp,

        I think we are on two different wavelengths x

        The article refers to the period of seduction and much of what I wrote refers to that period of a relationship specifically. As the narcissist tends to love bomb and come out with the statements HG listed or similar, I was saying that narcissist or no narcissist, I wouldn’t go for them. Only number 7 might stand an outside chance and that’s probably because it is more vague.

        I’m easily spooked in relationships. I don’t like the feeling of being stifled or monopolised by someone too soon. I certainly don’t like to be over complimented. That reads to me as being fake. I’m really not a hearts and flowers person at all. I’m playful, I’ll tease and flirt but coming on too strong as many of these statements do, would turn me off. In my mind many of these statements come much much later. To use them in seduction would feel stifling to me personally.

        All of my relationships – and there have only been 5 – began as friends first. That stands to reason given my personality and rejection of anything overtly romantic haha!

        Saying I love you. I’m not referring to the first time it’s said. I’m referring to the way “I love you” becomes almost a throwaway comment over time. You see couples end a phone call about what to pick up for dinner with “Love you”. To me that’s habitual, an extension to saying goodbye. They say it left and right without thinking. To me, that negates the weight of the words. Or, it appears to. Maybe some couples do genuinely feel that surge of emotion through their stomach and up through their chest each time they end a call. I don’t. I only say it when I feel it. It might be after my partner just dropped a hammer on his foot putting up a mirror for me, it could be something really silly that causes me to say it, but in that moment I say it because I really feel it.

        In terms of the ‘space that doesn’t exist’ I think the seduction part of the relationship is the most exciting part. In fact I suspect it’s this that the narcissist is most addicted to in terms of positive fuel provision. The fuel would be a mix of affection, excitement and uncertainty. Later on in the relationship the fuel would be love and affection but I think perhaps it’s the loss of the excitement and uncertainty in the fuel that causes it to become stale.

        For me I also enjoy the seduction phase due to the uncertainty and excitement and to cut that part short through lovebombing I think would spoil it. You can’t stay in that uncertain period forever, I understand that. Relationships move through various stages and I’m content with that, but I do really enjoy that first part of a relationship. In terms of seduction or lack thereof, the online narc did get it right. I do sometimes wonder if in fact some of his behaviours were down to me as opposed to a standard routine he rolled out each time. He did comment “You’re all about the chase.” Close. I’m not all about the chase but I do enjoy the chase. It has its place and in my view it shouldn’t be rushed. The narc took this too far. He would never have clarified the relationship, that’s where his control came from.

        No, I’m not in contact with the narc. I went no contact after the NDC. I was hoovered a few months later. I opened the message on purpose so he could see I had read it. I purposely didn’t respond to both wound and get myself painted black. I was plagued by sadness for a long time after starting No Contact. It didn’t subside in spite of my growing understanding. I re opened communication at the end of Feb this year. I sent a one word message and he answered it in under a minute. I lead the conversation so I could see all I needed to see. Enough for me to turn on him. I closed it down in entirety a week later. I ended it kindly. I have no desire to interact with him further. The sadness disappeared on the day I finally turned on him.

        I didn’t meet the online narc through an online dating app. I’ve actually never tried online dating apps. I wasn’t looking for a relationship when I met the online narc. I met him in a chat room whilst recruiting players for my team in an online game I play. I agree online dating is a no no and littered with narcs. If I ever find myself looking for a partner, online dating wouldn’t be the method I’d use. Totally agree with you there.

        Are you doing ok Asp Emp?

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Hey TS, thanks for your response. Took me half an hour to read it 😉 Thank you for explaining further to clarify your original comment. I understand what you mean in relation to feeling ‘stifled’ especially too early in a relationship. I have experienced distinctive differences within relationships – my first serious one, we were friends for around 18 months before he shyly asked me out in person, it was sweet – I was 19. He was not a narcissist. Yeah, I see what you mean in relation to saying ‘I love you’.

          I suppose you wanted to do the ‘closure’ your way rather than continue with the ‘sadness’ you felt.

          Same here, it was a chat room that I joined but no online dating sites. Interesting that my instincts (alarm system) was effective at the time.

          I read what you had to say about the trolleys in the car park. LOL. Obviously the staff are not doing their job and the manager is asleep! I have had a go at staff when I have had to go to a checkout (going out of my way, obviously!) to obtain a basket cos there was none at the entrance of the store.

          There are some nice people around, earlier this week, I was at the recycling centre with my garden waste and a guy in the next ‘bay’ offered to help. I was so surprised and thanked him. It is very rare for that to happen around where I am. Laughing, I don’t think the local recycling centre is necessarily a ‘hunting’ ground as such.

          I’m ok, thanks for asking 🙂

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Asp, haha I don’t get any more concise do I? The more information I take on, the less concise I become. I limit myself now to a few threads for that reason. If I joined in every interesting conversation I’d be an even worse nightmare!

            I’m glad you are doing ok. You sounded not quite yourself in a couple of comments, just wanted to check all was well. Difficult to get an accurate feeling through text. Xx

          2. Asp Emp says:

            TS, thanks for your reply. Yes, sometimes it can be difficult to take a measurement of what is said at times, because of the fact it is typed and not spoken. Deciphering and Lost In Translation spring to my mind 😉 (laughing). It’s fine TS x

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Asp,

            Ok, glad all is well.

            Lost in Translation is one of my favourite films. Xx

    2. Leigh says:

      TS, Ditto, ditto, ditto! Love bombing and this malarkey doesn’t work with me either. I agree with you that it seems fake. I don’t do affection either, except with workplace narc. I couldn’t keep my hands off him. Although, our affair lasted 18 months and I never once said I love you to him.

      Your second paragraph, that’s how workplace narc drew me in. A compliment here, a hint here and then back to normal again. Mr. Tudor has an article called Harpoon of Seduction. Have you read it? Workplace narc’s harpoon of seduction was “I can’t escape you.” When he said that, I knew he was interested.

      We started out as coworkers and then friends. There wasn’t any love bombing. I think if there was, the seduction wouldn’t have worked.

      Thank you for sharing, TS.

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:

        Hey Leigh,

        Good to know I’m not the only unromantic empath gliding through the blog. You’ll note that I have the narcs shuffling and us gliding haha! Take that for a subtle narciness!

        Yes, I listened to that video quite recently walking Ralph. I didn’t have a harpoon of seduction with the online narc. I’ve thought about what it was about him that really drew me in. It was very simple. He was just there for me at a time when no one else was. TIE. Timing Is Everything.

        Xx

        1. Leigh says:

          #facts TS! Timing Is Everything! This is why I believe everything happens for a reason. Why now? Why workplace narc? Its kind of why I go with the flow. I feel like the universe will take care of it. Everything will happen when its supposed to happen. I can see though, how that thought process can be detrimental to me.

  2. Becoming Observant says:

    HG, this post is such a good insight, I’m always glad for the reminders each time I revisit.

    Question: Do YOU believe that narcs (yourself included) have no soul? Or are you projecting the empaths’ view of their abusers when you say this?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There is no such thing as a soul (save for the ones I eat).

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Are they tasty, HG?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          When appropriately seasoned with HG´s Special Sauce.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            I’ll bet they are, HG…..laughing…..

      2. Duchessbea says:

        HG,
        With the greatest of respect and with no offence intended. It is well known that vampires have no souls.
        Best,
        DB

      3. Claudia says:

        Sometimes I can’t believe this blog is even here.
        Yes, souls are real, you can tell because THEY EAT THEM.
        Grateful I got away easy, with just like a bite mark in mine. It’s kinda cool I guess, whatever.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Claudia, “Sometimes I can’t believe this blog is even here”.

          Absolutely.

          (I mean that in a respectful way, HG x).

  3. lickemtomorrow says:

    6/ I hate it when are apart – “I hate the fact that when I am not with you I cannot control your environment and I am concerned that with space to think and breathe you may just see through what I am doing”

    I don’t think I took this in the last time I read this article. A word of truth from the narcissist, but as always perceived differently from the point of view of the empath. And eluding to an element of vulnerability on the part of the narcissist. Always hoped he would miss me for me, but he was really only missing me for himself (his need for control).

    This is one I really wanted to believe, too.

  4. Monie Burns says:

    #7 “……told you I was special…: that cracked me up HG. Your sense of humor is very subtle and elicits a chuckle from me more and more. Good read too.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

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