50 Future Fakes



The technique of future faking is a splendid device that we utilise by promising you jam tomorrow so we can have all the jam today (and oddly enough leaving you with no jam tomorrow). The ability to future fake is integral to us since it sits with our frequent and repeated lying so readily. Just like Enron did, we want the pay-out today based on the future profits and what if those future profits don’t manifest? Who the hell cares? We will just walk away and secure the pay out with someone else instead leaving you to rue all those promises of something down the line which never ever came to pass. We are persuasive, convincing and seem so genuine, such is our astonishing ability to act, that you readily believe that we will deliver on the promise, no matter how outlandish it may sound to you. We really, really mean it. Can’t you tell?

Such is our brilliance at convincing not only you as our intimate partner but also everyone else who gets caught up in our extensive fabrications. It never matters to us that we have no intention of delivering on that promise of something happening in the future because all we care about is the here and now. We are easily able to shirk accountability for our promises, avoiding liability and culpability is what we do best and if you think you can hold to us something that we have promised give it a go. All you will find is that you will be subjected to denial, deflection or another charm offensive whereby you have backed down on the strength of, yes you’ve guessed, more future faking.

Here are fifty examples of our future faking.

  1. I know we’ve not been together long but we really should get married.
  2. Of course I will go and see somebody for some help, I want to do the right thing for us.
  3. I will pay you back.
  4. I will never hurt you.
  5. I will never hurt you again.
  6. I will get tickets for that concert for us, no problem at all.
  7. I can’t wait to take you away somewhere exotic.
  8. I will bring it back for you next week.
  9. I promise I will call you tomorrow.
  10. I won’t tell a soul about this.
  11. We have such a bright future together.
  12. I can see us growing old together.
  13. I cannot wait until we start a family.
  14. Why don’t we go into business with one another, it makes perfect sense?
  15. Of course I will help you out when you start your new job.
  16. We should make plans to travel the world, just you and me.
  17. Let’s look at houses so we can move in and live together.
  18. I will always be on hand, whenever you need me.
  19. I cannot conceive of a day where we are not with one another.
  20. Come on, let’s go and look at engagement rings.
  21. I won’t let anything come between you and I.
  22. Imagine if you moved over here how brilliant that would be.
  23. Imagine if I moved to where you are, I think I should do that.
  24. If you can help me with this project, I will give you a great report for the pay review next year.
  25. That’s right, give the money to me now and you can look forward to a 25% return in a year’s time.
  26. No matter how ill you become, I will look after you.
  27. I swear we will move just as soon as we can afford it.
  28. We can’t move just yet, but we will when I have repaid this loan.
  29. I know the loan has been repaid but I want to secure this promotion and then we will move.
  30. The promotion has helped but I need to think about retirement at present and then we can move.
  31. I want a large family with you.
  32. Of course we will go there next time.
  33. Whatever you want, just say it next time we are here.
  34. We will definitely book there for dinner next time.
  35. My home is your home, it is just a question of when, not if, you move in.
  36. I want to be able to come home every night and find you there waiting for me.
  37. Just do it this once and I won’t ask you to do it again.
  38. I go to sleep safe in the knowledge that we have a future together.
  39. We should make plans for where we will get married.
  40. I want a huge wedding, all our friends and family need to be there, I want the world to know how happy I am.
  41. Why don’t we select a retirement home now, after all, we are going to be together then you know.
  42. If you do the groundwork for this project now, I will next time.
  43. Of course I will change, I am determined to do it.
  44. This is the last time, I promise, then I will stop.
  45. I will seek some help, now isn’t the right time, but I will do it.
  46. I will give you the world.
  47. I will give you the fairy tale you deserve.
  48. I know we will have a happy ever after.
  49. I don’t see me and you, I can only see us.
  50. Of course I will respect you in the morning.

7 thoughts on “50 Future Fakes

  1. leelasfuelstinks says:

    But the jam-future-fake in this pic I really like. For me it´s strawberry jam, please! 😉

  2. leelasfuelstinks says:

    There´s a wounded little child in me who is very vulnerable to the false love and false promises of narcs. I got “ensnared” by an upper mid range narc just by being born. I think a normal person (non-empath, non-narc) would think “this is totally wacko” and run away when hearing those sentences and being love bombed. The wounded little child in me thinks “finally I found love”. Yeah, sure! 😀 Bullshit!

    Thanks to you, H.G., I found the warrior in me, who kicks narc-ass! 😉

  3. December Infinity says:

    Hilarious, I have heard many of these, the most prominent one being ‘I will pay you back’, which of course didn’t ever happen. There are certain narcs who prefer to not pay their bills or money they owe people. I like the initial idea at the start of the article about ‘promising you jam tomorrow so we can have all the jam today (and oddly enough leaving you with no jam tomorrow)’ – if it were only as simple as jam, wouldn’t life be great? It would be the jam (hahahaha).

  4. blackcoffee30 says:

    My new best friend!

  5. Fellowgirl says:

    My narcissist loved to promise me some great trips abroad. He was married for a few years before we met. He told me his marriage was a tragedy, they were living apart, they never went on vacation together. He told me he wants to have normal close intimate relationship with lots of travelling together. To feel wanted and loved – this is something his wife never gave him, she used to spend vacations alone with their kid, without him. So he wants to be with someone who will treat him as real partner. He told me he wants to travel with me like any normal couple.

    Of course it never happened. He took me once on a weekend trip in the beginning (it wasnt trip to another country) and that’s all. Our relationship was short (6 months) and I thought that was the reason he never took me on a real trip, because he devalued me just after 3 months so there was no reason to invest more.

    But he is in new relationship for over a year now, it looks pretty commited, they live together but she spends vacation with her friends. He never took her on real vacation. She is with him but travels with girlfriends like a single woman.

    So today I know, the problem was not his wife nor me or his new IPPS. Its him. Why he doesnt want to travel with his partners? Is travelling with his intimate partner too much of intimacy for him? He has money, he visited many places in his life, its not that he doesnt like to leave his home. Is it something other narcissists do?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Why are you keeping tabs on the narcissist when he is a new relationship? You are breaching no contact.
      2. There may be a variety of reasons why he is not travelling with this person
      a. He may be there on vacation with her but you do not know this,
      b. He may not be there because he has other commitments he chooses to attend to owing to his instinctive pursuit of The Prime Aims and either she accepts this (for instance she recognises he has a job commitment and agrees to go alone) or she is not happy about him not coming but has to put up with it (as she is in devaluation). If you want specifics and also to address why you are not sticking to no contact, FG, do organise a consultation and I will help you.

  6. A Victor says:

    This was so constant. Ugh.

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