The Spheres of Influence – What Triggers A Hoover By A Narcissist?


There are numerous factors which govern whether we will attempt to hoover you post-escape or post-discard. Some of these factors determine the style of the hoover, whether it will be malign or benign and also how often the attempts will be made. There are several considerations which have a material impact on whether a hoover will occur and one of the most significant ones is the sphere of influence and your relationship to it.

Imagine if you will, me. Now I know you do this often as your guilty little secret but we haven’t got time for that at the moment. Here I am sat at home, or in the office, or walking between bars. Let us take an instance of me being in a bar. What is my sphere of influence? To be accurate there are actually several. They vary in applicability and range. The first is the physically proximate sphere, namely those who are within earshot. That is the closest sphere of influence and unsurprisingly the most dangerous for you. It is within this sphere of influence when the full range of charismatic and magnetic charms can be deployed in order to pull you back into my influence. Anybody who I can speak to or listen to, be sat with, or dine with, stand next to or be near is in this sphere of influence.

The second sphere is the eye line sphere. This is the sphere where I can see you or you can see me. We may be across the street, on the other side of a field, up in an office, walking across a plaza, across from you on the piste. If we can see you or you can see us, then you are in this sphere. I may not be able to communicate with you other than to shout or wave but it remains a sphere of influence. Accordingly, this is why when we seek to hoover somebody we may not be able to speak directly with them but we can position ourselves stood across from your house on the other side of the street or waiting across the square from where you leave work.

The third sphere of influence is our reach through our coterie and our lieutenants. Whether these people are our friends (inner or outer circle), colleagues, minions or family, if they operate as our lieutenants or our coterie they form part of a sphere of influence. If you speak to these people (therefore operate in their first sphere) or they see you or you see them (therefore in the second sphere) you are caught within my third sphere of influence. Rest assured that news of your appearance in the spheres of my lieutenants and my coterie will be relayed to me. This may be in person, by telephone, text or e-mail message, but the news will reach me. This also allows me to send information to you by proxy as my coterie and lieutenants tells you about what I am doing, who I am with and so on and so forth.

The fourth sphere of influence is our reach through the telephone. I do not mean by text messages or FB messenger but actually speaking on the telephone. Whilst we may be thousands of miles from you, unseen and not physically proximate at all, the fact you are speaking to us allows us to extend our reach in an effective way through the use of the telephone. Facetime and Skype and similar applications fall within this sphere as well.

Next there is the fifth sphere of influence which manifests through the sending of text messages, e-mails, letters, notes wrapped around bricks thrown through your window, smoke signals etc. There is no actual speaking to one another. There is no third party involved. There is no physical proximity. This is the fifth sphere.

Finally, there is the sixth sphere of influence which is my mind. You may pop up in my mind for no reason whatsoever. It might be I hear a song which reminds me of you or I walk past where you used to live and I reminded of you. In all other respects I have deleted you from my mind post discard or post escape but then something happens, either triggered by something or just a random recall and there you are, in my mind and in my thoughts and therefore you have entered the sixth sphere of influence.

Following your escape or your discard we will operate all five of these spheres in an attempt to hoover you. Once you appear in any or all of these spheres of influence this will encourage us to effect a hoover (bearing in mind other factors as well which I will detail on a separate occasion). Thus if you have been effecting no contact and then I see you on a bus travelling along the high street, you have entered my second sphere of influence.

You have come to my attention. You are on my radar. This may cause me to wave at you and get your attention or run along the road to catch up with the bus and board it so I can bring you into my first sphere. I may be minded then to make efforts to contact you in some other fashion, but the fact you have sailed close to me, appeared in my sphere does two things.

One, it alerts me to you. I may have been distracted with other sources of fuel but you entering my sphere of influence makes you game for a hoover.

Two, it awakens the mixture in you, that addictive quality that we imbue in you through our nefarious seduction of you, which then causes various memories to awaken inside of you, thoughts and feelings which make you vulnerable to our overtures once again.

Thus we will then look to hoover you. We are reminded of you and this calls into mind the potent hoover fuel that is on offer. Secondly you are at a heightened risk of the hoover succeeding because of the effects of the mixture that lurks inside of you, placed there by us some time ago when we seduced you.

Sometimes we seek to draw you into our sphere of influence. If we wait around outside where we know you work, we are trying to draw you into our sphere of influence. More often however it is you that enters our sphere of influence, either deliberately or inadvertently.

For example, you may decide you need to return some of our property and you call round to drop it off. You have entered our first sphere of influence through this act and you will be hoovered. Alternatively, it is late at night and we are on your mind (but you are not on ours) and you cannot help but send a text asking us how we are doing. By doing this you have entered our fifth sphere of influence. Any step or act which brings you to our attention, whether in person, on the ‘phone, through others or through technology is you entering our sphere of influence and triggering a likely hoover.

You of course can influence how many of these spheres of influence operate with regard to you. Stay out of our way and ensure that we do not know where to find you and you will prevent spheres one and two from working. Ensure that you are never mentioned to our friends and that you avoid any contact with those who are our lieutenants and our coterie and you destroy the third sphere. Avoid that temptation to ring us and you destroy the fourth.

Ensure you never message us, do not send e-mails or even an application request and the fifth sphere is countered. The only one which you have no influence over is the sixth sphere. You may just pop into our minds from time to time and there is nothing that you can do about that. You should draw some slight comfort however from the fact that post escape and post discard, if you have survived the initial grand hoover then there you will not pop into our minds that often.

We will have eradicated you from our mind and be focusing on alternative sources of fuel. There remains a risk of a hoover (that is why we never truly go away) because of this sixth sphere of influence, but the risk is reduced. Liken the spheres to zones which if you stay out of you do not alert us to your presence and do not activate the mixture. Step inside one and you trigger the risk of a hoover for the reasons outlined above. Your aim to ensure that you remain free of post-discard and post-escape hoovers is to know these spheres of influence exist and to stay away from them.

Of course we make it harder than you think to do so, but that is a different matter for discussion.

18 thoughts on “The Spheres of Influence – What Triggers A Hoover By A Narcissist?

  1. blackcoffee30 says:

    HG said it’s possible I could be forgotten. I’ve shored up and can only be found in the 6th.

  2. A Victor says:

    I just watched “What is Making Him Come Back” on YouTube and was happily reminded that they often discard all contact information about us. So, if I never reach out to him, there is a good chance, even if he thinks of me, he will not contact me. This is a relief. A very big relief.

    1. Kim e says:

      A Victor.
      Not sure that is true. They might block you but never delete all your info. Take everything you see on sm about N’s with a grain of salt unless of course you read it here directly from HG
      HG hoovered after 12 years with I believe a phone call.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        HG approves. This is the only place where you will receive the full and accurate information about narcissists, rather than the piecemeal, inaccurate and sometimes downright dangerous material produced elsewhere.

        1. A Victor says:

          What is Making Him Come Back is an HG YouTube video. That’s why it made me think I was safe. Lol, now I’m worried!

  3. Blondie says:

    HG, does a previous Ipps who is in constant contact but not reinstated what do they become in the fuel matrix . I was never the Ipps . Thanks

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If a person was the IPPS and then they are disengaged from, they become the Former IPPS. They retain this label UNLESS they become the IPPS again. They remain the Former IPPS even when there is no intimacy between this appliance and the narcissist.

  4. Asp Emp says:

    HG, I understand how the influence of a narcissist can have on an empath.

    Apologies for asking you, I have a question / query. It may not be the right post for this one……. It was not even the same time of day or night, this varied, quite often, considerably – yet I have not come across any reasoning in relation to ESP – where I was sub-consciously reaching for my mobile and sometimes the text message would come through simultaneously. As if there was a ‘telepathic’ connection. How does this ‘fit’ in the narcissist / empath ‘connection’? Sometimes it appeared as an instinct / feeling and not a thought. Yet the same thing happened time and time again – the text message coming through, where I am picking up my mobile. Whether it was 10.05pm or 11.15pm – never the same time. I have a friend who lives in London – a similar ‘ESP’ thing happens but they are not a narcissist, yet I have ‘felt’ them and a message comes from them a short while later (we communicate once in a blue moon).

    How spooky is that?! I have just had a message from my friend in London !!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Coincidence which has been adversely impacted by emotional thinking.
      How many times did a text message come through when you did not reach for your phone?
      How many times did you reach for your phone and no text message arrived?

      A friend referred me to a book recently which made reference, in essence to a disease arriving in 2020 and was described in a similar way to Covid-19. The book was written many decades ago. My friend was all fired up about how prophetic it was. I borrowed the book and read it and compared the supposed prophesies throughout the book against what had actually happened. He was wrong in 98% of instances. The supposed prophesy of Covid-19 was just coincidental. Context is important.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Thank you HG for your time in answering. Yes, I get the gist – due to heightened ET in the early stages. Goes to show how powerful a narcissist can be and also how an empath’s ET can be ‘manipulated’. Ah, such is the life of a narcissist or empath! Intriguing about the Covid-19 “prophecies” (there has been more than one- so many of them buzzing around), yet I recall reading something about this book being written decades ago. Thank you for sharing that 98% was incorrect 🙂

    2. lickemtomorrow says:

      I have similar thoughts related to connection as you, Asp Emp. I see HG has provided an explanation with good points and I’d like to take a look at that book, but I do believe we relate at times on a level which exists outside of a scientific explanation which I assume HG is referring to when he mentions coincidence. Is it all emotion driven? I don’t know. Emotion can certainly mess up our thinking at times, so in that sense best to err on the side of caution (or coincidence) as an explanation. And it’s definitely an empathic trait to think this way, which is based on feeling. There do seem to be examples out there of ‘uncanny coincidences’ in this sense. i guess you’ll either fall on one side of the fence or the other when it comes down to it.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Thank you for your ‘reasoning’. I liked your “so in that sense best to err on the side of caution (or coincidence) as an explanation”. Fall on both sides of the fence? Ouch, all those bruises 😉

  5. December Infinity says:

    I want to make sure I stay out of any of the above mentioned spheres of influence 1-6. I have made sure I am out the spheres 1-5. As for the sixth sphere, he is too consumed with himself so there is no thought of his to be about me. If there is a sphere that exists outside this, say 7 and higher, I would prefer to go there and stay there. Perhaps the 10th sphere of influence. I am better off this way.

    1. Beguiled says:

      DI – I wouldn’t put it past the narcissist to find more spheres of influence! Perhaps we need to delve into a discussion of string theory.

      1. December Infinity says:

        Perhaps we should do just that, discuss string theory. That should turn off the majority of the narcissists as an intellectual discussion about something abstract would not be of interest!

      2. blackcoffee30 says:

        Hahaha string theory– hilarious for weird, personal reasons.

    2. A Victor says:


      1. December Infinity says:

        I agree!

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