The Narcissist and Feelings



Feelings are an unnecessary burden and thankfully I have been relieved of many of them, being left only with those which are deemed necessary to enable me to pursue the harvesting of fuel. Feelings blur and weaken. How many times have you heard your alarm go off in the morning and you have rolled over feeling like you do not want to get up? Many times I should imagine. That feeling of apprehension about what the day holds for you, despondency at what has happened to you and dread about what you have to do weakens you and holds you back.

You spend much of your life in the pursuit of this notion of happiness but are you ever truly happy? Do you look at what you have and wish you had more? Do you look at other people around you and imagine how happy they must be and you wish that you were more like them? All you achieve is bitterness. Perhaps you do feel happy but as the empath that you are you see those who you regard as less happy than you and you wish that they could be more like you.

All you achieve is vanity. You spend so much of your time seeking to be happy and then you worry about whether it is fleeting in nature. You express concern that you just want to be happy and spend more and more time trying to achieve this state of nirvana. You suffer from feeling sadness which leads to paralysis and indecision. You feel frustrated which sucks up your energy and leaves you feeling spent. You take pride in your ability to feel and to be able to feel on behalf of others yet all you are doing is allowing yourself to be burdened.

Why bother pursuing those feelings which are regarded as positive, such as joy, happiness and elation? Is the effort truly worth it when you get there only for it to be a fleeting moment which then casts you into despondency? What was the point of that? Why allow yourself to be mired in upset, misery and dejection? You achieve nothing as you slowly sink into a quagmire of such negativity. Your feelings deceive you, press down on you and above all else allow us to manipulate you. It is because you feel this array of emotions that you provide us with emotional reactions. Of course you know that these emotional reactions create my fuel. Your feelings are to blame.

I never acquired these feelings. This is because the pursuit of fuel cannot be distracted by these cumbersome emotions. They serve no purpose and thus were never developed. I am built for the acquisition of fuel and nothing else. I am an efficient design, single-minded and driven. All excess baggage was not jettisoned, it was never stowed on board to begin with. I am not wholly without feelings. I have been developed in a way to allow certain feelings, those that aid my purpose, to come to the fore.

I feel fury which ensures that I can exert control over other people and thus extract fuel from them. I feel envy which drives me on to strip away those traits from other people which I need to create my construct. If I felt no envy, I would not want these characteristics – thus this feeling serves a purpose. There is no superfluous feeling connected with me. I feel jealousy which again causes me to strive to better that person by lauding my own achievements and prompting a reaction which garners positive fuel or by berating the person of whom I am jealous and thus I harvest negative fuel.

I feel hatred. This allows me to see everything as it truly is. Hatred hones and brings into sharp focus the reality of this cruel world and thus I am better able to navigate my way through it. Hatred is visceral, it is not fluffy or amorphous. It does not cloud or blur. It is direct, straight to the point and electrifying in its capacity to allow me to always go forward.

All of these feelings and ones of a similar nature have been fashioned around me to assist me in my quest for fuel. Each one discharges a method of enabling me to gather fuel so that I can feel the ultimate emotion.

My pursuit of fuel is predicated on the use of these various emotions with the sole purpose of allowing me to feel that emotion which I prize above all others.

I feel powerful.

I am powerful.

5 thoughts on “The Narcissist and Feelings

  1. December Infinity says:

    The narcissist drives forward through the power and fuel that is generated from negative feelings and emotions.

  2. lakew says:

    HG, do you think that you do feel feelings (beyond the feelings you list a narcissist as having), at least for a microsecond or two, but then are so adept at downregulating them that it appears as if you don’t actually have the feelings? Do you think that maybe the occupation with obtaining and monitoring fuel and focusing on (manipulating) the emotions of others is a sort of regulation strategy that continually shifts your attention away from any fleeting feelings you may have, serving as distraction?

    You discuss fuel and its attainment as the reason why you don’t care about feelings, but what if fuel and its attainment is the way in which you can afford to “not care” about feelings that you do have, but dissociate from so well? I’m asking because the person I know who has narc tendencies fits many of the descriptions you’ve laid out in Fuel and numerous articles here. However, it appears to me that this person is also able to just sit at home all day watching tv, reading, or doing generally very little, and is content with little contact, as well as socially inhibited and afraid to be in public. In other words, I cannot imagine this person is really fixated on a fuel matrix when they have so few people in their actual network and are often content just sitting outside and staring into space for long periods of time. Maybe my lack of imagination is inaccurate, or this person falls on a low end of a spectrum, but I thought it was worth asking about.

    Research shows that people can lack the ability to feel guilt and remorse, and I can understand the argument about love given that love isn’t really an emotion but a combination of feelings and behaviors, but when it comes to other emotions like anger and happiness, I’m more skeptical. I do see glimpses of these feelings in them, but perhaps it’s just mirroring?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Lakew, no, the feelings are just not there. The individual you speak about may not be a narcissist or if they are, they obtain fuel in ways you do not know about as you are not with them all of the time.What you perceive as happiness is the outcome of the fuel and the creation of an outward appearance of happiness to fit in, see The Imitation Game.

  3. Asp Emp says:

    An empath’s emotions – positive – yes, it feels good & provides good thoughts. The negative ones can produce the opposite.

    A narcissist receiving ‘fuel’ (whether positive or negative) gives them power. A reducing ‘fuel’ level makes a narcissist less powerful (in their mind). They need power to function. Just like empaths needing good feelings / thoughts to be able to function better.

    Good to read this again.

  4. WiserNow says:

    The first paragraph on Wikipedia’s page for “Sensory processing sensitivity” (about the personality trait that characterises Highly Sensitive Persons) is the following:

    Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) is a temperamental or personality trait involving “an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli”.[2] The trait is characterized by “a tendency to ‘pause to check’ in novel situations, greater sensitivity to subtle stimuli, and the engagement of deeper cognitive processing strategies for employing coping actions, all of which is driven by heightened emotional reactivity, both positive and negative”

    After reading HG’s post on ‘feelings’ and the obvious critical and negative tone he uses to describe them, I would just like to say that the essential core personality trait of a Highly Sensitive Person (who is also naturally empathic) is “heightened emotional reactivity”.

    The emotional reactivity of a HSP (or empathic person) is not a choice. It’s not about ‘deciding’ whether or not to feel sad, happy, joyful, or fearful etc.

    It. Simply. Happens. All. The. Time. About. Everything. In. Every. Situation.

    It is not a choice. It is not a preference. It is not a judgement about ‘feelings’. It is a core trait.

    The general social judgements of ‘feelings’ being fluffy, amorphous, excess baggage, superfluous, blurring, clouding, nonsensical, soft or weak are *cultural* or *learned* judgements. These judgements totally miss the point of ’emotions’. They also miss the importance of emotions.

    The narcissist lacks the same ‘kind’ of sensitivity as say, an HSP has. The narcissist has developed into having a ‘different’ kind of sensitivity that will promote ‘control’ more effectively in certain situations, but not all situations.

    In addition, HG’s reference to ‘power’ is a narrow definition. There are various kinds of ‘power’, such as having the ability to be almost psychic, or to have sexual power, or to have visionary power. The narcissist’s particular kind of power is often shortlived and not very powerful at all in the long-run if their ‘power’ over their victims is not maintained.

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