Narcissistic Fleas

8 thoughts on “Narcissistic Fleas

  1. lickemtomorrow says:

    After listening again and reading my previous comment on this article, I understand the response in the context of our direct dealings with the narcissist, but what of a situation where the narcissist has isolated us and caused us to become more guarded and withdrawn, is it possible our empathy towards others can be reduced?

    I’m thinking more specifically of the petulant prince, Harry, where his empathy appears to be eroded in the context of defending the narcissist, but it could also be eroded due to the narcissist and being directed at others as it is too risky to direct the corrupted narcissistic traits toward the narcissist.

    I hope this is making sense.

    And I know the Q&A is over, HG, but I’m hoping you can help shed some light on this phenomenon.

    I know in my own circumstances, after having gone more than a few rounds with more than one narcissist, I can be very biting at times, less empathic at others, and also more judgemental in some instances. In other words, not willing to take any sh*t and handing it back nicely when it is served up to me.

    Is it trauma, corruption of narcissistic traits due to an erosion of emotional empathy, increased emotional thinking? All three? How do we separate these in order to deal with them? Do they all go hand in hand?

    I imagine many empaths will sense a ‘hardening up’ after their experiences, with less trust, more willingness to challenge the status quo, a firming up of boundaries, less willingness to take whatever is handed to them. Perhaps that is a counterbalancing of the narcissistic traits with the empathic ones in order to form a better sense of protection from narcissists. Weaponization, if you will.

    No doubt, a reduction in empathy is not always a bad thing, and I appreciate your explanation around this topic so much. But empaths do fear becoming more like the narcissist, and we often don’t like ourselves very much when we do. So, while your explanation is extraordinarly helpful, I was just hoping to get a little more clarification around it.

  2. lickemtomorrow says:

    My impression currently is that the narcissist actually benefits from the dialling down of those empathic traits as this is likely to provide them with fuel (i.e.empath’s anger, jealousy, etc.) Either way they benefit. Another reason to get a handle on emotional thinking.

    From an empathic perspective it’s good to know there is an explanation for us behaving like the narcissist. It frees us from torturing ourselves with guilt and anxiety in the circumstances. In all honesty, I’ve often felt justified in my reactions, so less guilt and anxiety for me. It’s takes a lot to get me to that point, so when I do all bets are off.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      (laughing) “It’s takes a lot to get me to that point, so when I do all bets are off” – I know exactly what you mean yet in my case I think the fuse is shorter (laughing)

      1. Laurie Mueller says:

        I always felt provoked to the max. Last time I almost went after his eyeballs….brother……I know now what /who kept me in my seat.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Laughing….. “provoked to the max”…. some people just can’t help themselves, can they?! So nobody should be surprised at the reaction / response. LOL in reference to the ‘seat’. So, what would you do ‘next’ time? I am curious…… (giggling).

  3. Asp Emp says:

    Interesting to see the difference and the explanation of how an empath’s reduced empathy allows the narcissistic traits to come to the fore.

    1. Laurie Mueller says:

      I got the state, and the eyes and the grin of a bad bugger!!!

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Yeah, all bets off and bugger all…… laughing.

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