If You Leave the Narcissist

IF-YOU-LEAVE-THE-NARCISSIST

 

The narcissist senses that the grip on the victim is under threat in the dynamic between narcissist and Intimate Partner Primary Source. A Preventative Hoover follows – can you establish which school and cadre of narcissist (or narcissists?) is delivering these Preventative Hoovers?

If you leave me I shall surely die and you cannot want that on your conscience can you? If you leave me now, everything that we have built up together will come crashing down around us. Why would you want to do that? Why destroy what we have. Yes, I know that things have not been as good between us lately, but it is not the time to focus on those few bad things but rather to remember what we had, what we have and to treasure that. We are meant to be together. We are bound together as one and I cannot allow you to leave and break what should be unbreakable. How could you countenance doing such a thing? We work so well together, have I not given you love that is beyond anything else you have ever experienced before? You said as such yourself. You have written about it so many times in those beautiful letters that you composed for me, a perfect partner to the expressions of love, passion and desire that I have spoken so many times to you. We have that perfect love, we have just lost our way a little, that is all. We can soon find it again, trust me. We found one another at the beginning didn’t we? Two lost souls who had both been hurt by others before, we saw enough in one another to trust one another with recounting those painful memories didn’t we? We were fated to meet. It was meant to be and if we were able to find ourselves amidst the fog of hurt and regret then surely we can find our way again now? I will do whatever is required to make you stay with me. I cannot let something this precious trickle through my fingers, not now, not after everything that we have said and done.

We have such plans for the future. We want to marry one another and raise a family. That desire cannot have evaporated overnight. No, I thought as much, I can see it in your eyes. Look at me and you will see a man who will be nothing more than a wretched soul if he was to lose you. You are everything to me, you are my north star, my guiding light, my sense of calm and serenity when all is chaos around us. I need you and you need me. We fit together so well. Everybody says that about us. What hope is there for the rest of the world if they see those icons of a perfect love torn asunder? Who will they look to for comfort and encouragement? We not only have an obligation towards one another but to them as well. There is too much darkness out there. Too much hurt, agony and cruelty and we can stand together and be that shining beacon of hope. Do it for me, do it for them, do it for us. Please, I am collapsing inside. The thought of never waking beside you ever again fills me with the most terrible dread. If you leave me, you will rip out the core of me and I will perish. There will be no purpose without you. Everything will become grey, ashen and dark. All colour will be drained from my world if you walk away now. Please do not do it. Please stay with me. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy. I want us to be happy together. There is so much we have not yet done, so many worlds to experience together, to conquer and rule. You are the one who sits at my left hand, my queen. Whatever is needed, just say the words and I will execute what is required but please, please, I am begging you, do not leave me. I love you.

If you leave me I shall ensure you die and believe me, it will not trouble my conscience. If you leave me now, everything that you know and cherish will come crashing down around you. Why would I want to do that? Why destroy what you have? Because you deserve it for your selfishness and your disdain towards me, after everything that I have done for you. Yes, I know that things have not been as good between us lately, but that is because you have not made the time to focus on me and you would rather forget what we had, what I gave you and to treasure me. We will always be together. You will not escape me. I will make it my sole mission in my life to ensure you never become free of me. We are bound together as one, you accepted that from the beginning and I cannot allow you to leave and break what I am entitled to. How could you countenance doing such a thing? How could you hurt the one who has done so much for you? I know how, because you are a fraud, a cruel temptress who swept me up and promised the earth and then delivered nothing. Oh wicked harridan, seditious slut and cruel crone you are. I worked so hard to bring us together, have I not given you love that is beyond anything else you have ever experienced before? You said as such yourself. You have written about it so many times in those beautiful letters that you composed for me, a perfect partner to the expressions of love, passion and desire that I have spoken so many times to you. Well understand this. I meant none of it. I have never loved you, you do not deserve my love, I will give it to someone who will appreciate it and give me what I want, but I will not let you rest. I will not let you walk away from me. You have a price to pay and you will keep on paying. I have created the perfect love and you have trodden all over it. If you try to leave I can soon find you again, trust me. My reach is far and wide. You have no idea of those who are waiting to help me and bring you down. I found you at the beginning didn’t I? That wasn’t me acting alone, I can promise you that. You a broken and lost soul who had been hurt by others before, I saw enough in you to endure you recounting those painful memories didn’t I? Oh I listened alright, storing all the details and I will use them against you now. I will scatter them to the four winds, posting and spreading details of your vulnerabilities far and wide. Not only those but all of the others I have collected whilst we have been together. Oh I have quite the collection and I will not hesitate to use them to destroy you. We were not fated to meet, I chose you. It was meant to be and I will find you again amidst the fog of hurt and regret that I will weave around you so you cannot see a way to escape. I will do whatever is required to make you stay with me. I cannot let something this precious trickle through my fingers, not now, not after everything that we have said and done.

I have such plans for the future. I want to marry another and raise a family and I will keep you updated as to that progress so you are tormented by what you could have had, but you chose to be selfish and leave. That malicious intent will not evaporate overnight, you do realise that don’t you? No, I thought as much, I can see the fear in your eyes. Look at me and you will see a man who will turn you into nothing more than a wretched shadow of your former self. I am everything to you, I will be the clouds which obscure your waystar, I will snuff out your light, I will eradicate any sense of calm and serenity by sowing chaos all around you. You need me more than ever. My machinations fit together so well. Everybody will know how treacherous you are if you dare to leave me. What hope is there for the rest of the world if they see this icon of perfection treated so unfairly? Who will they look to for leadership and brilliance? I not only have an obligation towards myself but to my supporters as well. There is much darkness out there for you, all created by me. Much hurt, agony and cruelty and my supporters will and can stand together and be that relentless machine that crushes you. Do it and see what happens. Please me or you will collapse inside. The thought of never sleeping properly again will fill you with dread because I will always be there, waiting and watching. If you leave me, I will rip your heart out and consume it. There will be no purpose left for you. Everything will become grey, ashen and dark. All colour will be drained from your world if you walk away now. Do not do it. Stay with me. I want you to be controlled. I want to control you. I want and I will get it. There is so much I have not yet done to you, so many worlds of yours to conquer and rule. You are the one who lies broken at my feet, my conquest. Whatever is needed, I will say the words and I will execute what is required to make your life a living hell but I am ordering you, you will not leave me. I hate you.

30 thoughts on “If You Leave the Narcissist

  1. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Music aside, I am not very good at differentiating schools but I would say #1 is a fucking victim, #2 is fucking passive aggressive, and a fucking cheesy charlatan, #3and #4 are fucking bullies, one a little better spoken than the other and seemingly nicer (maybe an ULA vs. LL). I may not be very savvy about these differences, but now I hear any of them and I know enough to detect they all are fucking narcissists so: LEAVE.

  2. A Victor says:

    I don’t know where I was in the fuel matrix but the second one fits the closest, not perfectly, to what happened when I inadvertently found out he’d been on the dating site where we meet and I was needing time to think about this. It was a panicky, impulsive hoover before I’d even heard the term hoover. Looking back on it later it was shocking to me, he pulled out all stops, including professing his love, in the effort to keep me talking. I hung up on him. If I were to guess on that second hoover I would guess middle mid range A.

    The first I would guess UMR. Third, lesser greater and fourth, middle greater.

    I am not good at guessing things like this but it is fun and a learning exercise.

  3. December Infinity says:

    These dramatic pity-filled speeches would be delivered by mid-range narcissists, In general, I would say middle and upper schools of the mid-range narcissists respectively for the first three paragraphs. The lesser narcissists I have encountered would not have delivered any of those speeches. The last paragraph gives me the impression that it is from a greater narcissist (the cadre could be any applicable). Perhaps I am incorrect on my impressions but I am still learning more about this.

  4. Sweetest Perfection says:

    If you leave, don’t leave now
    Please don’t take my heart away
    Promise me just one more night
    Then we’ll go our separate ways

    Awwww, poor thing…

    1. Eternity says:

      Love Pretty in Pink the movie and the Soundtrack.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        James Spader in it… (this convo has already been discussed in the past so I won’t insist).

        1. A Victor says:

          For me, James Spader was the only redeeming thing in Pretty in Pink.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Indeed. And the soundtrack: INXS, New Order, The Smiths, OMD… her dress was hideous. I thought it back then and I still think it now.

          2. BC30 says:

            Yes, please! 😋

          3. Asp Emp says:

            You would have to mention James Spader again…. (laughing) 😉

          4. Eternity says:

            I know he was hot in that film and in the Secretary!

          5. Asp Emp says:

            I don’t think that conversation on the other thread will be forgotten for some time! (laughing)

          6. Eternity says:

            Asp Emp great memory!

          7. Sweetest Perfection says:

            And in Stargate, which made my initiation in decoding hieroglyphs explode in all sorts of sexual dreams and fantasies with the young nerd hired by NASA!! Ah, the way he deciphered with his little glasses on …

          8. Eternity says:

            Ha ha yes !

          9. A Victor says:

            The soundtrack was pretty good, just not my personal taste so much. Molly Ringwald though, her dress and hair and pout, blech.

          10. Sweetest Perfection says:

            AV, a few years ago I watched a movie called Seoul Searching. Though it’s from 2015 it is set in 1986. Neither am I Korean nor do I have anything to do with this story. All I know is that I extrapolated myself into the story and when, in the last scene, the protagonists dance to “If You Leave,” by OMD, i thought I was gonna die of an emotional outburst. Yes!!!! -disclaimer: if you watch it and think it’s shit, I will argue I was probably on my period-.

          11. Sweetest Perfection says:

            And though cheesy, the movie is a pastiche of all those 80’s movies we are nostalgic about. That in itself is interesting enough.

          12. A Victor says:

            Asp Emp, I am required to mention James Spader every chance I get. Lol!

          13. Asp Emp says:

            Laughing……

          14. lickemtomorrow says:

            OMG, SP, you swapped out your Xmas balls for James Spader 😛

            He was hot then 😉 I’d swap a set of Xmas balls for him any day.

          15. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I was gonna say something about James’ Christmas balls, but I realized it would be tasteless.

          16. A Victor says:

            SP, I love your pic!! Oh I miss that eighties hair!!! What a handsome devil!

            I will search out Seoul Searching, it sounds intriguing.

            LET, I’m with you on the Xmas balls! 🙂

        2. Eternity says:

          Ha ha yes I know eh? Totally love the 80’s movies and The Breakfast Club. Sixteen Candles etc.

        3. BC30 says:

          I simply had to comment that I adore your avi, SP.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Of course! Who wouldn’t? That hair…

  5. Another Cat says:

    The first hoover is straight Upper Midrange haughty. Delivered by my ex. Accompanied with smearing and isolating.

  6. Asp Emp says:

    What school & cadre? Not The Ultra, surely. Because The Ultra would not spend so much energy in “waffle” like the lower echelons. His “dealing” with such “insolence” (in his eyes, anyway) would be much shorter yet more ‘cutting’ – ruthless in his ‘fury’ at “how DARE you even take one step out of that door”.

    Only an MRN would ‘drop’ the ice cream on the floor in “oops, it fell out of my hand” and “oh, dear, what a waste of ice cream”……. (not even sorry for fkg up a clean floor).

    A Lesser would have thrown the ice cream on the floor. His knuckles would have spread the ice cream all over the fkg floor …… (laughing)….

    A Greater? Well, he’d flung it across the room without uttering a word.

    The Ultra? Well, I’ll have to wait and see…..

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      Like the way you’ve built a story for each around the image here, AspEmp. Very clever indeed.

      The final paragraph is the Greater preparing to engage in a malice campaign as necessary.

      Interesting contrast between Mid Range (I love you) and Greater (I hate you).

      The preventative hoover of the Mid Range is dripping with honey, the Greater with malice.

      The Mid Range – I will die. The Greater – I will kill you.

      Becoming entangled as IPPS with the Greater is a frightening prospect. Not recommended.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Thank you. I can understand the difference in how the ‘fury’ would look like. My mother, the Lesser & MRN were different in their ‘fury’. I have had my own anger lash-outs (varying, from small to plutonic of which, I suppose well, it scared a Lesser and an MRN)…… recommendation understood, thank you 🙂

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